by L A Cotton
I’d expected Maverick to be angry and confused and hurt.
But I hadn’t expected him to shut me out.
Yet, he’d barely spoken two words to me since the doctor left. The nurse said it was normal for him to be in and out of it for a few days, but it was more than the lingering effects of the drugs. I knew Maverick almost as well as I knew myself, and he had pulled up a wall between us.
“Give him time, sweetheart. He’s had his entire world pulled out from under him. Maverick is strong, he will—”
“Yeah, Dad, I know,” I snapped, immediately feeling guilt coil around my heart. “I’m sorry.” I wrapped my arms around my waist. “I’m just—”
“I know, Lo. It’s going to be a hard road for everyone.”
That was the thing though. I didn’t care about everyone. I cared about the broken man lying beyond the window.
“I’m worried,” I confessed. This wasn’t something I could fix. Maverick needed time and if the doctors were right about his injuries, he’d need weeks, maybe even months, of intensive physiotherapy.
He might never walk again... play ball again.
For someone like Maverick it might as well have been a life sentence.
“It’s only natural,” Dad said. “No one said this was going to be easy, sweetheart. But he’s here and he’s awake. These are things to hold onto. Things to give us hope.”
The nurse joined us in the corridor.
“How is he?” I asked.
“Angry, confused, but it isn’t anything we haven’t seen a hundred times before. Maverick needs time to process everything, and then, when he’s ready, he’ll need your support to start his recovery.”
“Thank you,” I choked out over the permanent lump in my throat.
“You can go in and see him now.” She gave me a warm smile, and I nodded.
“I’ll call the others and tell them to give the two of you some time.” Dad squeezed my shoulder again. “It’s been a long day. I’m sure Rick would appreciate some space.”
“Okay, Dad.”
“You know, now he’s awake you could think about getting out of here for a little while. Come home and—”
“I’ll see.” My eyes flicked back to Maverick. Even through the small window, I could see the anguish on his face. “I should go in there.”
“Okay, sweetheart.” Dad enveloped me in a hug. “You’re not alone, Lo. If you need to talk... need anything, I’m here. We all are.”
“I’m fine.” I had to be.
Because something told me the worst was yet to come.
Taking a deep breath, I entered the room. “How are you?” I asked, moving around the bed.
Maverick didn’t even look at me, and it hurt. God, it hurt so much, flooding me with a sense of helplessness. But I forced it down. Taking his hand in mine, I pulled the chair closer and sat down. “We’ll get through this, Maverick, I promise.”
“You don’t know that.” His voice was flat. Cold.
“Macey called again earlier. She sends her love. She’s going to fly back—”
“She doesn’t need to do that.”
“Maverick, she’s your sister, she wants to be here.”
“What’s the point? I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, am I? Besides, she can’t fix this, no one can.”
My chest tightened at the anguish in his voice. “The doctor said—”
“The doctor is just trying to give me hope.” Rick’s eyes finally found mine and the vulnerability in his expression gutted me. My strong, loyal boyfriend was scared, and I hated it.
“I love you. I love you so much.”
His eyes shuttered. When he opened them again, a stone mask slammed down over his face. “You want a life caring for a paraplegic? Do you know what that means? I’m dead from the waist down.” His eyes bored into mine, but I saw the flicker of pain there.
“None of that matters to me,” I implored. “I love you. You, Maverick. I’m not going anywhere.”
“And when you decide you want kids? A family? When you want your husband to make love to you? Because if I don’t come through this thing, that all goes away. I’ll be a burden you shouldn’t have to bear.”
“How can you say that?” I wept as my chest cracked wide open. “You think I care about any of that when I almost lost you?”
Maverick yanked his hand from mine. “Yeah, well maybe I should have died.”
His words were like a gunshot to my already battered heart. “You don’t mean that.” My voice wavered as I tried to hold onto my emotions. “You’re just angry and—”
“You should go.”
“Maverick, please. I know you’re scared but the doctor said—”
“Just go, please.” Desperation coated his words. “I can’t do this right now. I can’t look at you and....” He turned his head away from me.
He didn’t remember.
I knew Maverick didn’t remember anything leading up to the accident. He didn’t remember putting the ring box in his pocket or diverting our ride home so he could propose.
And I couldn’t help but wonder if it would have changed anything.
If he’d still be dismissing me so easily, so cruelly.
We’d been through so much, fought so hard to be together. I would stand by his side no matter how long it took or how devastating his injuries were. Because that’s what you did when you loved someone.
The way I felt about Maverick didn’t come with a set of exclusion clauses, it was unconditional.
“I’m not leaving you,” I said steeling myself. “You need me—”
“What I need is for everyone to stop pretending like everything is going to be okay,” he snapped, startling me.
“You really want me to leave?” Tears burned my eyes, my chest crushed under the weight of his words.
He was just hurting, lashing out at the person closest to him. But no matter how hard I tried to hold onto that, I couldn’t stop the seed of doubt taking root in my stomach.
“Don’t make me buzz for the nurse, London.”
His voice was so detached and cold, it turned my blood to ice.
“You wouldn’t—”
Maverick snatched up the buzzer and narrowed his eyes. “I. Don’t. Want. You. Here.”
I stood up, stumbling back against the chair, and sucked in a shaky breath. “Fine, I’ll go. But pushing me away isn’t going to work, Maverick. We’re a team. And if you think just because you’re hurt, I’m going to stop loving you, then you clearly don’t know me very well.”
I managed to get to the door with my head held high, all while my insides were breaking. Slowing my pace, I waited for him to stop me. I waited for him to tell me he was sorry.
To ask me to stay.
But I reached the door and Maverick remained silent.
And when I glanced back, he wasn’t even looking at me.
Chapter Seven
Kyle
“Where is she?” I asked the second I entered the kitchen.
Rebecca wiped the tears from her eyes and my dad let out a heavy sigh. “She’s in the pool house. She won’t come out.”
“I’ll kill him. I’ll—”
“Son,” Dad warned.
“Shit, sorry, Momma P, I just... I want to strangle him with my bare hands. What the hell was he thinking?”
“He wasn’t,” she whimpered. “You know Rick better than most of us, Kyle. To be told he might never walk again...”
My dad pulled his wife into his arms and held her tight. “Go and see Lo. She shouldn’t be alone right now.”
Uncle Robert had called me the second Lo fled Maverick’s hospital room. She wouldn’t tell him what had happened, but it didn’t take a genius to work out what had gone down.
Damn my stepbrother.
I knew he was hurting. Fuck, he had every right to be angry and frustrated and desperate. But to take that out on the one person who had always stood by his side… I couldn’t wrap my head around that.
“Y
eah, okay.” I ducked out of the kitchen and headed for the pool house. We all used it to hang out in when we were back from college, but it would always be Rick and Lo’s space.
“Lo?” Pushing open the door, I slipped inside. “Cous?”
There was no sign of her, so I made my way down the hall to the bedroom. Sure enough, there curled up like a baby in the middle of the bed, was my cousin, her heart breaking. Her pain was palpable; lingering in the air like a storm on the horizon.
“As soon as he’s better, I’m going to kick his ass all the way back to SU.”
Lo sat up, hugging her pillow tight. “He told me to go.”
“He’s an asshole.” My brows pinched as I sat beside her on the edge of the bed.
“He’s so lost, Kyle.” She shuffled closer, laying her head on my shoulder. “I looked into his eyes and our Maverick was gone.”
“He just needs time.” And a stern talking to, which I fully intended on giving him as soon as I was done fixing Lo.
“I don’t know... he was like the old Maverick. The boy who refused to let people in. The things he said to me...” A shudder wracked her body.
“We hurt the people we love the most,” I whispered. “Rick loves you. He loves you in a way that makes the rest of us a little green, cous. And whether his stubborn ass knows it right now or not, he’s going to need you.”
“He couldn’t even look at me.” Lo bit back another sob.
“I’m going to talk to him.”
“Kyle, I’m not sure that’s—”
“Fuck that, Lo. He doesn’t get to shut you out. Not now. Not on this. Because he is going to pull through this.” One way or another my hardheaded stepbrother would recover.
Silence settled over us as Lo clung to me like I was her lifeline, the very thing grounding her to reality. We might have only been cousins—in each other’s lives for less than five years–but she was one of my best friends. And one day she would be my sister. When Maverick pulled his head out of his ass and realized he had too much to fight for to just give up.
"Hey, while you're home why don't you have a nice long soak in the tub and grab some fresh clothes, hey?" I wrinkled my nose at her.
She shoved me in the arm, but a smile came to her lips.
"Don't ever change, Kyle,” she said.
Maverick
“I’m not in the mood for visitors,” I grumbled at the sight of Kyle standing in the doorway.
“Well, you’re shit outta luck because you and I need to talk.”
Guilt cinched my heart in a vise. I knew why he was here. It was the same reason I’d lain awake most of the night.
Lo.
She didn’t deserve my wrath, but the words had just spilled out and I’d been so overcome with anger that, before I knew what was happening, she was gone.
“How is she?” I asked, my chest constricting.
“How do you think she is? She barely slept, crying over her asshole boyfriend.”
“I’m pretty sure you can’t talk to me like that while I’m lying here unable to feel my legs.”
Kyle’s jaw clenched as he dropped in the chair and leaned forward, steepling his fingers. “She stayed with you every day and night for a week. She didn’t eat, she hardly slept. And she did it all for what? So you could send her packing because you’re too pussy to do what needs to be done?”
Kyle didn’t get pissed often. Over the years, he’d been the sunshine to my thunderstorm. But sitting there, glaring at me, he looked ready to throw down.
“I’m a paraplegic. Do you understand what that means?”
He winced, releasing a long breath. “The doctor said it could be temporary depending on your recovery.”
“Yeah, and it could be permanent. I could be stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of my life. You think I want that for her? I can’t even feel my dick. I’m pissing through a tube, and—”
“Okay, I get it. You’re scared.”
“I’m not scared.” I’m fucking terrified.
My upper body trembled. “I want a life with Lo. I want to stand at the altar while she walks down the aisle toward me. I want to carry her into our first house together. I want to make babies with her...” Fuck, I wanted that. “But what I don’t want, is to take all that away from her on a bunch of what ifs and maybes.”
“It’s been a couple of days. No one knows what is or isn’t going to happen. Once you start working with the physical therapist and they see what a hard ass you are, they’ll see.”
“See what?” My brows knitted.
“That there's no way Maverick Prince is going to just lie there and accept this. But you need to give it a chance. You need to believe in yourself. Be frustrated and take some time to wallow, get angry at the universe for dealing you this setback, but I’m begging you, don’t push her away. Not now. Not when you need her most.”
That was the thing though, I did need her.
I needed Lo in a way that completely disarmed me.
She was my Earth. My sun. And I always wanted to be in her orbit.
But knowing I wasn’t going to walk out of here in a week, or a month, or three... maybe never, how could I put that kind of responsibility on her? She’d already been through so much; I didn’t want to be another life she mourned. Because that’s what we were faced with, losing our life together.
Our future.
“If I don’t make a full recovery,”—and I knew enough about spinal cord injuries to know the chances were, I wouldn’t—“how can I burden her to a life of caring for me?”
“Come on,” Kyle huffed. “This isn’t the Rick I know. You don’t even know the odds yet. Doc said you need to let the swelling go down. You could be putting yourself and Lo through unnecessary heartache.”
He was right.
But what he didn’t realize, what I couldn’t tell him, was that looking into Lo’s eyes, I hadn’t found comfort. Rather, I’d found a reminder of all the things that were slipping through my fingers.
“I just need some time to get my head around everything,” I muttered, hoping he would drop it.
“Fine. But you need to fix it with her. You have your whole lives ahead of you.”
Thankfully, Nurse Jennifer chose that moment to stick her head into the room. “Need anything?” she asked.
“Actually, I’m feeling a little tired.”
Kyle shot me a bemused look. “I bet you are.”
“Maybe you should give your brother some space?”
“Yeah, I can take a hint.” He stood up. “What should I tell Momma P? She’s chomping at the bit to come see you?”
“Tell her I’m not feeling up to visitors today.”
“Rick...”
“Please. I just need some time...”
“One day. You get one day to get your head straight.”
“Fine.”
“I won’t let you lose yourself to this.” His eyes bored into mine. “I’ll be by tomorrow. And the day after that. And the one after that, if that’s what it takes.”
“Let’s go.” The nurse beckoned Kyle out. But she didn’t follow him, closing the door behind her.
“Thanks for that,” I said.
“You looked like you needed saving.” She gave me a knowing smile. “You know, he has a point.”
“I thought you were on my side?”
“No sides here.” Her hands went up in surrender. “Lo was here around the clock. Despite your family and most of the staff here trying to tell her to go home, she wouldn’t leave your side. That girl loves you so much.”
“I know.” That was the problem. She would be the martyr here, giving up her shot at a normal life to stay by my side.
But how could I ask that of her?
If my prognosis was the worst case scenario, how could I shackle her to a life as my carer?
“You play basketball, right?” She went on.
“Yeah, for the Steinbeck Scorpions.”
“I’m more of a football girl myself. But you should
let your coach visit. I’m sure he’s seen his fair share of injuries. Maybe he’ll have some words of wisdom for you.”
“I really don’t feel up to more visitors.”
“There’s always tomorrow.” Her eyes twinkled. “There are no rules here, Maverick. Everyone deals with this type of news in their own way. But what I do know is this… there is always someone worse off than you. You’re still here, you still have so much life left to live. Don’t forget that.” She patted my arm before leaving me alone.
I closed my eyes and silently prayed for sleep to find me.
At least there, I was still whole.
Lo
“Anything?” I jumped up from the couch the second Kyle and Summer entered the pool house. But the second I saw their grim expressions, I knew it wasn’t the news I wanted.
Maverick was shutting me out.
It had been three days since he asked me to leave.
The longest seventy-two hours of my life.
Yet, he still didn’t want to see me.
Tears pooled in the corners of my eyes and I desperately tried to swallow them down.
“Oh, Lo.” Summer came over and pulled me into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”
“If it’s any consolation, he kicked me out too.” Kyle dropped down on the chair with an exasperated sigh.
“He’s in a bad place, Kyle. Cut him some slack.” Summer pulled me down on the couch, holding my hand in hers. “The good news is, he’s eating and drinking, and the doctors are pleased with his latest CT scan. The swelling on his brain is gone. So now the focus is his spinal cord injury and getting him into physical therapy.”
“That’s great.”
“Does he remember anything about the accident?”
Her smile dropped. “Nothing.”
My heart sank.
He didn’t remember.
Maybe it was a blessing in disguise. At least, only one of us had to live with the pain of knowing we came so close to our happily-ever-after.
“Why?” Summer frowned.
“No reason.” I managed a half-shrug. “I just wondered if his memory had come back.”
