Not wanted? Maybe she shouldn’t say anything. No one had asked her about her feelings, but for months her mind had been ready. She let out a sigh and told Matt her final secret. “If they hadn’t wanted that baby, I was ready to keep it.”
Matt’s eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Was that why you were afraid to see Cosimo? Because you wanted to keep the baby you carried?”
Her face was hot. He didn’t understand. She closed her eyes. She’d started this and she’d tell the truth, just this once. “I avoid all babies, and it’s not that I wanted to keep what wasn’t mine. But I had all these hormones running through me. I hadn’t intended to get pregnant. I hadn’t even done the usual fun part with any man during that time frame, but having someone to love… it was a nice thought.”
She glanced up as he massaged his chin. Did he understand anything about what she felt?
He backed up and stood taller. “Ashley.”
There were no words left. She stood and pushed her chair back, which made a slight screech. “Look, I’ll get dinner on the table. It’s almost ready.”
Her adrenaline rushed. He didn’t understand her.
She had no other way to be clear. No more words flowed.
She needed to protect herself better, but how? She headed toward the door as he said, “We can order out.”
“It’s almost done,” she said automatically and reached for the handle.
She’d put her heart out there and spoken about something she’d never told anyone, and he’d had no response.
Love was a two-way street, right?
Her eyes misted.
Ashley shouldn’t cry anymore. But as she went to go, Matt reached for her shoulder. She turned around and he said, ““You could have explained about why you avoided children, before.”
“I guess.” Did she need to be smarter regarding this relationship? Maybe today was just about bursting those dreams that had sent her here from Miami. “Matt, if you might love me one day then you need to talk to me and confide in me.”
“Love?” His eyes narrowed.
Yeah. She’d had too many expectations and hopes and dreams.
Now she needed to figure out exactly what she wanted. “Too much?”
“I wasn’t expecting that.” He straightened his shoulders.
Once again, he was silent and the silence was like an ocean she had no sails to cross. They weren’t on the same page. Never would be. She’d been the one in love for the past year, not him. He’d been sad and lonely. “I know. To you, you just met me the other day. But for me, I’ve known you. I know your clothes sometimes smell of cinnamon because you love foods with that spice.”
“I do love cinnamon.” He stepped back.
She’d always assumed she was on a fool’s errand when it came to Matt and that he’d never love her. He’d never noticed her. She should have figured out she wanted set design and let her crush die out. Then she’d never have put Jennifer’s trust at risk by allowing Cosimo to be with Matt, and Anthony. She hugged her waist to hold herself together. “But you don’t know anything about me.”
He lowered his arms and he leaned against the wall in his bad habit that separated him from whoever he talked to. “I’m learning.”
How long would she wait? She really needed a map to her own heart and desires. And these tears in her eyes needed to never be shed. “Are you? If you asked you’d know that despite how complicated my relationship always was to my cousin… I’m not about to let her son be kidnapped from her. And now I could be part of a lawsuit where she loses her son.”
“Ashley I’ll protect you,” Matt said fast. “I won’t let you be hurt.”
She moved toward the door with her head down. “I can’t trust that. You put me in this situation.”
Matt pressed his hand to his heart so she paused as he asked, “Is it fair for Jennifer to not tell my brother about his son?”
His loyalty was clear. She wasn’t on the same level as those he did love. She understood now as she asked, “And is it in any way my call? So why involve me when you yourself are working with her?”
“The movie with Jennifer will help my career.”
She needed to make solid decisions she could live with. Maybe her cousin’s illness was the perfect time for her. She flung the door open and said, “Look, dinner’s ready. You can eat with your brother. It’s time I get Cosimo back to Jennifer’s house.”
Matt squeezed her arm as she stepped outside and asked in her ear, “But you’ll let me make this up to you?”
Hope grew inside her, despite knowing she should be smart. This wouldn’t be the last time she would see Matt. “I don’t see how but we’ll talk… tomorrow… when Jennifer is out of the hospital.”
“I’m looking forward to seeing you again.” Matt let her go.
She didn’t care how much anyone protested as she took the baby from Anthony. Matt directed his staff to pack the Bentley. She headed out on the porch a minute later, with Cosimo in her arms. Matt followed her. She went to the bottom step and glanced up at him.
His blue t-shirt clung to his muscles, outlined by the late afternoon breeze.
He was beautiful and perfect. She strapped the baby inside the car seat and Matt came down toward her. She went on her tiptoes, kissed his cheek and said, “I love you. I thought it would be enough to give you time for you to get to know me.”
More silence that spoke like waves crashing against the beach.
She hopped into the driver’s seat, guarding her emotions, hiding her feelings behind a polite smile. “I’ll return the car tomorrow.”
Closing the door, she heard him say, “Ashley, wait.”
No. Tears streamed down her face now. She couldn’t let him see and was grateful for the tinted windows.
From now on, she’d protect her heart and stop believing in fairy tales. She always knew that Matt Morgan would never love her like she loved him.
Now she just needed to figure out what she could and couldn’t live with, because her life mattered too.
Chapter 14
Matt stood at the bottom step of his porch and stared at the empty driveway as his skin buzzed. The taillights of his car turned down the street. Ashley had left. The street was empty and she wasn’t coming back to him.
His gut twisted.
He’d forced her to leave.
She loved him.
Why did the thought freeze him?
He hardly knew her.
Clearly she’d studied him carefully, but he’d been blind.
The late afternoon air had an unusual chill but didn’t soften the electric charge in his soul.
Part of him wanted to chase after the car that had already passed through his gates, but he was once again paralyzed with fear like he’d been when his father scolded him for living his life under the limelight of school plays.
The only emotion he understood in his soul was the joy that came from the applause of the audience.
He could please people then.
With Ashley, he’d hurt her and he hadn’t ever intended that.
She was sweet.
He lowered his head as he went inside his house.
Anthony had helped himself to a bottle of wine, though he poured Matt a glass when he joined him in the living room. Anthony handed it over. “Matt, you look beaten.”
“I… I’m not sure what to do.” He sipped but the wine had no taste.
Love wasn’t something he truly understood, though in acting the emotion out he usually pretended the woman in the scene with him had some secret answers to his philosophical life questions, like how in the world anyone could be happy all the time.
Ashley left him lost and confused.
Now that she was gone, his spine tingled like he needed to do something to get her back.
“You’re falling for Ashley.” Anthony drank deeply from his own wine.
His private life wasn’t meant for family gossip. He straightened and met his brother’s brown-eyed stare as he as
ked in a dare, “So? We’re both free and consenting adults.”
Anthony snorted as he said, “But her mother…”
Now that lead-off was meant for him to question. Ordinarily he wouldn’t because Anthony looked just like their father discussing money, but Matt’s neck was hot. Ashley made him… well, feel. “What about her mother?”
Anthony put his glass down on a table next to the couch. “Her mother and her aunt work for Jennifer and handle her PR.”
“What?” His eyes widened.
Jennifer’s PR team was amazing. He’d known that but he hadn’t thought Ashley was so close to them.
Had she lied when he’d asked her if she knew Jennifer’s PR team? She must have. He paced and tried to recall the exact conversation, but couldn’t.
Was everything about her since she’d come here false? Was he this much of a fool? His mind shouted the questions and he wanted to scream—he didn’t know the answers.
Anthony pointed toward the couch. “I did a complete investigation on Jennifer. Give me a tablet and one minute to pull up the report for you to read. We can sit and go through it.”
A tablet. His nose twitched. He returned to his office and Ashley’s rose perfume lingered in the air. He grabbed the tablet and strode out, handing it to his brother. “Her mother works for Jennifer too?”
Anthony sent information from his phone to Matt’s tablet. “You don’t know much about your new girlfriend.”
His pulse throbbed. He met Anthony’s accusation like he was speaking to his father as he said, “I knew she was related to Jennifer and taking a job with her cousin.”
Anthony gave him the tablet back. “Okay, here it is. Ashley Romero is the daughter of Francesca Romero. Francesca’s expertise is the relationships she’s built with social media bloggers in fashion and entertainment.”
Everything he said was in the PDF document Matt scanned. He rose from the couch and continued to read. Ashley’s family hadn’t been rolling in riches growing up, but she wasn’t poor. Her mother was clearly an excellent PR person. He stopped and asked his brother, “So why was Ashley cleaning houses?”
“She wasn’t the point of my investigation.” Anthony took another drink of wine. “From how little there is about her online, I’m guessing she wasn’t good at the family business of supporting Jennifer’s career, but Jennifer placed her in the Morgan family employment so she’d have access to what the staff said when she was Peter’s girlfriend.”
Yet Ashley was here in LA and Jennifer had hired her.
Jennifer had also trusted her to have a baby for her. Ashley had her side chosen in some sort of war and it wasn’t aligned with his side.
His mind had a thousand questions all at once that made him question everything.
Then again, he’d also made his own choices. He worked with Jennifer for his own career to prosper, so he had no right to judge. Tablet in hand, he sat back on the couch opposite his brother. “Look, I know you stole some of Cosimo’s DNA when you put his bottle in your pocket.”
Anthony emptied his glass but otherwise didn’t move. “He’s my son. It’s not stealing.”
Matt set the tablet aside. He lived with the family motto, and expected it of his siblings in return. Without question. “I can’t have Ashley’s name involved in anything.”
Anthony shrugged as he sat back in his seat, completely confident. “I’ll ensure your girlfriend isn’t named directly but her mother will be able to figure out how I got the ammunition for my custody claim.”
He hadn’t thought farther than allowing Anthony to see Cosimo. Now there was nothing he could do to help her, short of demanding that Anthony give the bottle back. He couldn’t do it—Jennifer had no right to keep Cosimo from Anthony. He glanced up at the ceiling and summoned their father’s way of speaking as he said, “I need Ashley insulated from anything you might do.”
Anthony stood and fixed his pants like he was done with the conversation. “I’ll send her a check. Combined with the money Peter paid her, she shouldn’t need to work, ever again.”
Money wasn’t the same. Today Matt had hurt her. Not on purpose but he’d hurt the one woman who’d gotten under his unflappable skin. He couldn’t explain that so he told his brother as he waved for him to join him in the dining area, “Our father said Morgans don’t fight Morgans publicly. I didn’t even know I was a Morgan when learning that lesson which is why I started my career as a Marshall.”
The moment they entered, he saw everything Ashley had made for him was waiting for them to eat.
He’d never before questioned why his life was always ordered. Anthony carried the wine bottle and his empty glass. He sat and said, “Yet we’re here and we’re family.”
Matt circled back and grabbed his full glass. Those few seconds helped him clear this mind and calm his pulse so it quit pounding.
Matt met his brother’s brown eyes as he took the seat opposite him and folded his hands on the table. “Yes, but Ashley is mine, and what happened here cannot go public.”
“Are you telling me I can’t sue for my own son?” Anthony’s eyebrow rose.
“I’m telling you that Ashley and I are not involved in your paternity suit.” Matt spoke firmly but then breathed in. He wasn’t being kind, and Anthony understood how to be a Morgan too. “So let’s eat.”
They both ate. Matt’s mouth woke up from the spices of Ashley’s food.
At his sister’s house, he’d devoured this chicken and vegetable plate countless times.
Maybe the flavor in his mouth was love.
Her words haunted him, even if he didn’t believe in love. Love complicated his life and he was better off focusing on the one thing he could control… his career.
As he looked down, his plate was empty—he’d eaten it all.
Matt picked up his wine and sipped. Anthony finished his plate, clearly enjoying his dinner. When he was done, Anthony motioned for them to get up. “Let’s return to the living room. There is one more thing I should tell you.”
Interesting. The conversation about Ashley and the upcoming legal fight his brother intended to have was done or at least he thought so. In the living room, Anthony picked up the tablet and used his phone to send something else. Matt sat,, still holding his wine glass. “What?”
“Ashley is in love with you.” Anthony motioned for him to press a recording button on the file.
Matt didn’t touch it but instead said, “Just tell me what this is.”
Anthony shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal. “I have Jennifer’s dressing room bugged.”
No. Matt’s contract and his job had always been first in his mind but then he shook that thought off. That was why he approached Ashley at first. And then he kissed her but it wasn’t always related, was it? He wasn’t completely shallow and selfish.
Spying on a woman was a bit much.
Matt didn’t want to be involved with any of that. His face was warm as he shook his head and said, “I don’t want to know this.”
Anthony reached across his seat and pressed play on the tablet. A second later he heard Ashley and Jennifer.
“So I got the job?”
“Yeah, I put you through enough and I’m sorry for the whole surrogacy thing.”
Good. Jennifer shouldn’t have used Ashley, but then Ashley said, “I made a lot of money so I can’t hate you for it.”
His mind became laser sharp. She cared about money. “I’m glad, but I still want to make this up for you and if it means you land Matthew in your bed...”
“No… I want the chance to tell him I love him. I know that’s stupid and he doesn’t know I’m alive, but… I do and I’d trade every dime I have for that chance.”
Again he hadn’t expected that. His shoulders slumped.
She’d said she loved him today. She’d said it when she’d first arrived.
Everything about them was planned by Jennifer to get him to see Ashley.
If he trusted Jennifer, he’d be a fool.
Matt got to his feet. “You shouldn’t bug her dressing room.”
The streetlights were coming on as evening fell. Anthony finished his second glass of wine and then stood, tapping him on the back like he was ready to leave. “You agreed with Jennifer’s lawyers not to help my case, yet you broke the rules.”
Matt’s decisions were his own. His brothers had no say in his career, just like his father hadn’t. But unlike their father who he still hated in his soul, he hadn’t wanted ill will with his brothers and sisters. He met his gaze and said, “I’m here for my job.”
His brother left his side and straightened his collar in the mirror at the end of the room. “Look, don’t fall for the hired help that’s out to con you.”
Matt’s entire face burned. Ashley was a good woman, but if he argued, that meant his brother would stay longer. So he just said, “It’s been a nice evening.”
“You know I’m right, Matt.” Anthony headed toward the door.
Matt held the handle. As an actor, he could smile and wish anyone good night, but tonight he felt off. Prickly even as he said, “Good night.”
He closed the door, turned off the lights and headed upstairs.
His bedroom still smelled like Ashley’s rose perfume she’d bought and her bags were in the closet as Rosita must have moved her in.
He opened one and saw a turquoise top that would make her pretty brown eyes pop, and white pants.
He stuffed them back in the bag.
He should have told her about Anthony.
But her words “I love you” haunted him. How could she love him? He hadn’t been loved for himself, well, ever.
The only adoration he ever had was applause.
His heart raced like he’d made a huge mistake. Tomorrow he would have to fix everything.
Somehow he needed to show her something inside him that made her want to stay but part of him worried there might not be anything at all there.
He needed the right words.
Matt glanced out at the night sky.
The moon only made him ache worse. He picked up his phone and called the one person who knew him, always.
On the second ring, the good doctor and his older brother said, “Hello?”
Secret Mistress Page 11
