by Linda Kage
"I’m so scared," Amanda admitted weakly as she let Mia support her and Drew support them both.
Mia didn’t answer and neither did he. She could tell he was just as worried as his sister was. She’d never met Felix, but she’d heard about him from Drew and seen his picture. She compared his vigor to Lexie’s. It’d be awful if he was no longer around to cheer the world with his animated enthusiasm.
She closed her eyes tight and prayed, leaning against Drew the entire time. He rested his face on the top of her head, seeking as much as he gave.
From behind them, a trembling voice spoke. "A-Amanda?"
Drew’s sister slowly pulled away from them, lifting her face. Her soon-to-be-ex-husband stood fifteen feet away, drawn and shaky, his lips pressed thin.
"Jeffrey?" Mandy rasped.
"Is he … is he … ?" he was too afraid to ask.
When she just stood there, probably too choked up to answer, Drew finally supplied, "We’re still waiting for news from the doctor." Keeping his arms around Mia, he eased them both backward so Felix’s parents could have room.
Jeff nodded, never taking his eyes from Mandy. "Where are the girls? Are they okay?"
Instead of answering his question, Mandy murmured monotonously, "He fell. He … he was trying to make me breakfast, and he fell off the kitchen counter. He hit his head and wouldn’t wake up. The doctor’s still with him and … and it’s all my fault. I wasn’t there to stop him."
"No," Jeff breathed. "No, none of this is your fault. Amanda …" Tortured eyes lifted to hers. "I’m so sorry."
Mia had to look away when unashamed tears filled the man’s eyes.
"I’ve made such a mess of everything," he choked out, bowing his head with shame. "This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t … if I hadn’t …"
Pity filled Mandy’s face. "Jeffrey," she murmured stepping close. She lifted her arms but dropped them at the last second.
"No," he said, obviously not caring for her resistance. He grabbed her wrist and tugged her into his arms.
She wilted once she was there, resting her head on his shoulder much like Mia had just done to Drew’s.
"I love you," he said, kissing her hair and her cheek. "Everything will be okay. Felix will be okay. We’ll be a family again, I swear. Everything will be okay."
The litany seemed to calm his wife. Amanda closed her eyes and relaxed in his embrace, filling Mia with a spark of jealousy, even though she knew all the problems they had. In the face of tragedy, they clung together. Ryan had only pushed her away.
She glanced up at Drew and he seemed to sense her mood. He wrapped his arms around her tight and pressed his face into her hair. He gave her the comfort she’d needed three years ago … or maybe he was seeking his own comfort for his nephew. Either way, Mia accepted his embrace whole-heartedly.
"We’ll work this out. I’ll change. I swear," Jeffrey was murmuring to Amanda. "Everything will be okay."
Drew’s arms tightened around Mia, and when she looked up, she saw a doctor in blue scrubs approaching.
"He’s awake," the doctor said. A cry of gratitude that came from both of Felix’s parents drowned out the rest of his words. They clutched each other hard and Drew kissed Mia’s mouth. "He has a concussion but …" was about the only thing Mia hard over all the commotion. "You may go back to see him now."
Jeff and Mandy surged forward. Mia held back with Drew. She looked up at him to see if he wanted her to stay behind since she wasn’t family and she hadn’t even met his nephew yet. But he looked just as uncertain about following them.
Amanda answered both their reservations when she paused and glanced back, waving them forward. "Drew. Mia," she beckoned.
Her husband must’ve finally realized Mia was present, because he faltered and gawked at her with recognition, glancing between her and Drew. She would’ve stayed behind at that but Drew tugged her forward, and she couldn’t abandon him.
As soon as they reached the room, Mia hesitated outside the door. She wasn’t used to such a happy ending. She wasn’t used to the child making it through okay. Scared she might resent the fact little Felix was alive and Lexie wasn’t, she wondered briefly if she should wait outside.
Drew didn’t give her a choice. He plowed into the room, dragging her along behind him. He finally let go of his grip when he saw his nephew sitting up in bed sucking Sprite through a straw.
The boy looked healthy and alive and ready to tackle life. Relief spread through her, consumed by joy and thankful everything had worked out okay.
Chapter Eighteen
Drew’s warm hand squeezed around Mia’s. "How’re you doing?"
She lifted her face. After sitting and visiting with Felix and his parents for over an hour in the little boy’s recovery room, they finally had their first moment alone in the hospital elevator where Drew watched Mia with concern clouding his eyes.
A consuming ball of love filled her. In the short time they’d been together, he’d come to know her better than anyone.
Her smile was soft as she squeezed his fingers in return. "I’m good. Actually, I’m better than good. I just had a huge development in my grieving process."
Dr. Higgins was going to be pleased. Her biggest fear had been sharing her story with someone else who had suffered through a similar misery. But today, she realized it was healing to share. When she’d held Amanda after telling her story, the release was overwhelming. She knew she could move on without the usual guilt of wanting to live again. She was liberated.
"Seeing such a terrible situation end up okay helped you realize there’s still good in the world, huh?" Drew asked, leaning toward her to kiss her temple.
"There’s that," she admitted. "Plus talking to your sister about Lexie helped me get through a very big step. I think … I know I’m going to be okay now."
He paused to let her precede him out of the hospital. "I knew you would be," he admitted, once again sidling beside her as they stepped outside. "But I’m glad you’ve realized it too."
They shared a smile and tightened their grip on each other. After walking her to his truck and opening her door for her, he hurried around to the driver’s side and started the engine.
"I’m glad your nephew’s going to be okay," she said. "He’s a complete doll, you know. He looks a lot like you."
"He’s usually more ornery. I could tell the fall hurt him because he was so calm today. But, yeah, I’m glad he’ll return to his mischievous self."
"Lexie was active like that too," Mia admitted. She sighed with pleasure, realizing it didn’t hurt to admit that fact. She could finally think back on her baby fondly.
"I always thought I’d end up with an energetic kid. Mandy used to say I was a terror on two legs when I learned to walk."
Tilting her head in curiosity, Mia eyed him across the cab of his truck. "You’ve thought about yourself with children?"
He went still, the expression on his face freezing before he slowly glanced her way. After a noncommittal shrug, he returned his gaze to traffic as he pulled out the hospital’s parking lot.
His strange response made her frown. Did he want children?
Silence grew between them. Drew kept sending her probing glances as they neared his house. After he pulled into the drive and parked, he stayed seated, keeping his hands on the steering wheel and staring out at the pasture beside his place.
She held her breath, wondering what had just happened between them to put such a chill in the warm air.
"Are you okay?" she whispered as she set her hand on his knee. Her fingers trembled with uncertainty.
His smile was instant. "Of course," he said, taking her hand and immediately reassuring her with his warm grip. "I was so glad I had you there today. I’m glad you were with me."
"Oh," she answered, surprised by his sudden intense mood. "Well, no problem. I was happy to help any way I could."
He nodded. "I’m glad you’ve healed so much too. Glad you feel good about your progress."
"I love you, you know," he said.
He was so serious, she held her breath, thinking he was breaking up with her for some reason.
"I love you too," she answered breathlessly, bracing herself in case she needed to beg if he tried to end things between them.
"After today, I realized I don’t ever want to be without you. I want to be able to hold you every time things get bad."
Joy bloomed inside her. "I’d like that too," she admitted.
Her eyes searched his. It still felt like there was a big "but" lingering after his adamant proclamation. As he turned to open his door, she couldn’t take her eyes off the stiff set of his shoulders. Something was definitely bothering him.
She bit her lip, watching him as she followed him to his front door, replaying the last few minutes in her head. With a gasp of intuition, she realized everything had changed the moment she asked if he thought about having children.
Children.
Drew and children.
Afraid to broach the subject, afraid to learn how her own response to his answer would affect her, Mia paused inside his front door and stared around his studio. Ninety percent of the pictures he displayed centered around children.
Forgetting to breathe, Mia focused on Drew as he paused, realizing she wasn’t following him. Eyebrows wrinkling in confusion, he came back to her. "What’s wrong?"
"Do-you-want-children?" she blurted out, lumping all the words together as one instead of four so she couldn’t chicken out before asking the entire question.
Drew froze in mid-step, staring at her with big eyes, still five feet away. She wished he would move closer. She wanted to reach out and touch him, comfort herself in case things went downhill from here.
"Well?" she rasped in a suddenly hoarse voice.
His Adam’s apple worked. Then his mouth moved. Finally, the words came. "I … do you?"
After a brief shake of the head, she answered, "I asked you first."
"That’s not fair," he muttered on an irritated frown. "I just found you Mia. And I don’t want to lose you. So whatever you want to do—"
"That’s not what I asked." She winced, wishing he’d have said what was inside his heart. "I know what I want. I want to know what you want."
"I want you to be happy. And if you can’t—"
"Drew," she started. But he held up a hand.
"It doesn’t matter," he assured her. "Either way, I’ll—"
"I think it does matter very much."
Drew let out a frustrated growl. "You see, there … " He pointed his finger at her, shaking it. "I can’t answer you because it’s a trick question. If I say something that’s different than what you want and we decide to follow your decision, then you’ll worry for the rest of your life that I’m not happy … and I am. I’ve never been this happy in my life. So, either way, I don’t think I could be happier if we had a house full of twenty children."
"So you do want children?"
He blew out an agonized breath. "Mia," he said in a low, strained voice. "If you can’t … I mean, if you don’t want to after Lexie, I don’t want you to feel obligated."
"Are you worried I’d kill our baby?"
His eyes widened. "What? No! Not at all. That’s the last thing on my mind."
"So … have you ever pictured yourself as a dad?"
Looking more panicked than she ever remembered seeing him before, he whispered back his dreaded answer. "Yes. But it’s not that—"
"This is a yes or no question, Drew," she said. "Just … yes or no."
"Fine," he answered defeated. Closing his eyes, he muttered, "Yes, I have pictured myself having children. Even more so lately—especially since I met you."
Since he wouldn’t open his eyes, he wasn’t able to see her blinding smile. "I think you’d make a wonderful father," she declared.
His lashes jerked apart, his gaze startled as he gawked at her. The air rushed out of his lungs and he breathlessly gasped, "You do? Does that mean … ?"
She nodded. "Yes! I think I’d like to sometime."
"Oh, Mia." He stared at her wide-eyed a moment before the smile broke out on his face. Then he lunged at her, pulling her into a fierce hug. "Thank God," he murmured against her hair. "Thank God."
"I love you," she said.
"I love you too. This is going to work for us. We’re going to be so happy."
She opened her mouth to agree, but he continued before she had a chance. And that was perfectly fine with her if he wanted to cut in because he said, "I want to marry you."
She froze. "You … really?"
He nodded and rubbed his thumb over the back of her left index finger as if imaging a ring there.
"I do," he said. "Really."
"Oh, Drew." She leaned over the center console into his arms. "I want to marry you, too."
He pulled her close and repeated, "I love you. I love you so much."
"I love you too," she answered, and meant it with all her heart.
•••
Linda Kage
The youngest of eight children, Linda Kage grew up on a dairy farm in the Midwest. She now lives in Kansas with her husband, daughter and nine cuckoo clocks. Linda is a member of Romance Writers of America and its local chapter, Midwest Romance Writers.
www.LindaKage.com
