by L. D. Davis
I hardly deserved it.
“Come on,” I said, leading him by the hand into the kitchen. “I’ll make breakfast.” I made him sit down at the table and poured him a glass of orange juice.
While I started to make breakfast, Luke talked. He told me that there was a large group of single women on the ship. Since the rest of his friends were single, he was constantly surrounded by women, both on and off of the ship. When he tried to break off and go by himself to get away, some of the girls always ended up following him. Luke was too much of a nice guy, especially to women, to tell them to bug off.
“Oh, it must have been so, so hard to be surrounded by beautiful women,” I teased over my shoulder from the stove.
“It was terrible,” he sighed dramatically as he stood up. He walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He kissed my neck, not far from where Kyle had marked me.
Several home remedies did help it fade a little faster, but in the end I had to buy makeup to cover the hickey. If I could keep Luke from exploring that area too much for another week, he would never know about it.
“Maybe I was surrounded by beautiful women,” he said in a soft voice. “But none of them were able to hold a candle to you. I missed you so much, I was ready to jump overboard and swim back home after only two days.”
Luke had gone to beautiful places and had been surrounded by beautiful women; yet, I was the only one he wanted. Meanwhile, I had been home playing house with Kyle.
Bad Emmy. Bad, bad Emmy.
“I missed you, too,” I said, almost choking on my guilt. It was true that I missed him, but a part of me wondered if I would have missed him more had I been alone all week.
I took the last pancake off of the griddle and turned the stove off before turning around in Luke’s arms. I stood on my toes and kissed him gently.
“Mmm,” he sighed happily. “Oh, I bought you a few gifts.”
“I like gifts. Maybe I have a gift for you,” I said, running my fingers across his muscular chest.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmm hmm. How about I give it to you right now?” I asked in a sultry voice.
I pushed him back across the kitchen and made him sit down again. I kneeled before him and unzipped his jeans while he looked on with slightly hooded eyes. I released the monster from its restraints and greedily took him into my mouth.
Groaning, Luke ran his fingers through my hair as he watched me.
I enjoyed making him feel good, but I knew that I wasn’t pleasuring him for him. I was doing it for me, hoping that I would be able to erase the things I had done with Kyle earlier in the week. I knew that wasn’t possible, but if I could just forget about him, I would be able to give Luke so much more. I didn’t want Kyle in my mind while I was with Luke, and this was the only way I could think of to make it stop.
“Come here,” Luke whispered huskily a few minutes later.
He pulled me to my feet and released the draw string on the sweats I had on. Seconds later they and my panties were on the floor at my feet. I started to straddle him, but he stopped me with his hands on my hips and pushed me back a few steps.
“Skin to skin,” he said, getting to his feet.
He dropped his jeans and boxers to the floor before tugging on the hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head. Kissing my shoulder, he unclasped my bra and dropped that to the floor as well before pulling his own shirt off.
Luke settled back onto the chair, pulling me onto his lap. I hesitated before going too far though. Luke was the most endowed man I had ever been with; it wasn’t easy to take him, especially when I was on top. But he looked into my eyes with such longing, sweetness, and undeclared love, that I could not resist him. I owed him in ways he didn’t yet understand. Owed him for the things I had done…
I lowered myself onto his erection and welcomed the initial pain. Luke patiently waited for my body to get used to the invasion. He played with my hair as his lips lightly touched my mouth, my chin, and my shoulder. The actions were so gentle and affectionate that I wanted to cry.
“Are you okay?” he whispered.
I nodded and made myself smile. “I’m just glad you’re back. No more long separations, okay?”
Luke swallowed hard as he gazed at me like I was the moon and the stars. “I have a business trip for the company coming up soon,” he whispered. “And my friend’s bachelor party and wedding that weekend in Chicago. If I don’t have to return to Dallas on Monday, I’ll only be gone for a week.” He looked apologetic as he continued to play with my hair. “I would ask you to be my plus one to the wedding, but I’m taking my mom.”
“It’s okay,” I said and moaned softly when he slowly pushed his hips up. “Just…no more long trips after that?”
Still gazing into my eyes, he said, “I’ll do my best. I promise. Now kiss me.”
I did as he commanded and brought my lips down to his.
I gave myself over to him then, allowing him to set the pace and move my body with his strong hands. As our bodies moved as one and our moans and whispers lingered in the air, I made a million silent promises to never stray again.
***
Kyle went away on Sterling Corp business early Monday morning. The only communication we had while he was gone was strictly work related, and he had been detached and terse.
In a way, I understood his coldness. The previous Monday night I told him I loved him. Less than a week later I was tossing out ultimatums. My words must have seemed hollow to him, but he should have taken some comfort in the fact that I ended things before they got too deep, before anyone could get hurt too badly.
When he returned to the office Wednesday morning, he was in full dick mode. I, of course, got the worst of it. His eyes on me were like ice, and even the simplest sentences from his mouth were acidic. I tried to stay away from him as much as possible, but he didn’t seem to want to be bothered with me either. He stayed in his office most of the time and only talked to me if it was absolutely necessary.
If I did bother to leave my desk for lunch, I usually didn’t do so until well after everyone else had already gone and returned from their break. But this time, I was out the door just as quickly as everyone else. I ate lunch with Luke in a café down the street and took my time going back, taking an extra fifteen minutes to suck down a margarita before returning to The Office of Doom.
Luke escorted me to my floor and kissed me sweetly before stepping back onto the elevator. I still felt guilty, but it was subsiding. I told myself that our relationship had not taken a serious turn until his return from his trip, so anything I did before that wasn’t as bad as it seemed. Denial wasn’t a river in Egypt. It was a river within me and I swam in the deep end.
Not too long after I got back from lunch, I was sitting at my desk daydreaming about Luke when Jeoff Urvin approached my desk. I recoiled when I saw him standing there. That was my usual reaction to Jeoff.
His rank in seniority placed him right under Kyle. Whenever Kyle’s schedule was too heavy, Jeoff took the overflow of clients on top of the more minor clients he acquired. I didn’t like Jeoff because he was a talentless hack, a brown nosing, sexist snake who kissed ass, lied, and stomped on toes to work his way up in the company. He really didn’t know very much about his work, either. I knew more than he did.
A long time ago, Jeoff tried to pull rank on me. If Jeoff was worthy of his title and not a puss filled zit, I would have conceded as I did with Kyle. Instead, Jeoff left the office that day without his balls. Ever since then, I was recognized as the second in command, and the head bitch in charge.
“What?” I said, disgusted to have him standing near me.
“I’m sick.”
“Ew.” I sprayed a small can of disinfectant in his general direction. He was looking a little greener than usual. “So?”
“I’m supposed to have a meeting with Hernandez in an hour. I can’t go.”
“So?”
“So, I need you to go,” he said impatientl
y.
“I’m not going.”
“You’re going. Kyle wants this wrapped up last week,” he said, trying to sound authoritative.
“So, why didn’t you wrap it up last week?”
“Hernandez is…difficult.”
More like Jeoff was incompetent.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said. “I’m not qualified.”
“Bullshit. Show him some leg and go get it done.” He wiped at his face with a handkerchief. He looked like he was going to hurl.
“Are you trying to tell me what to do?” I tested, raising an eyebrow.
“Look, if no one goes today, Kyle is going to be in one hell of a mood, and he will take it out on everyone. Besides, this came down from Kyle.”
“Then why didn’t Kyle tell me himself?”
“He told me to tell you on my way out. Look, I gotta go. Get it done.”
He ran into the hall and turned toward the restrooms.
I got up and marched into Kyle’s office without knocking. After dealing with his attitude and Jeoff, I wasn’t in the mood for formalities.
He was concentrating on something on his computer screen. Without looking up, he said, “What.”
“Did you tell Jerk-Off Jeoffery to tell me to go to the Hernandez meeting?”
“Yes,” he answered flatly.
“I can’t go. I’m not qualified.”
“You’re more qualified than Jeoff.” Kyle still had not taken his eyes off of the computer screen.
“I don’t get paid to do what Jerk-Off Jeoffery does. You can go.”
“I’m busy.”
“Clearly,” I said dryly. “Hernandez is a bigger pig than Jerk-Off Jeoffery. He gets handsy. Don’t you remember how handsy he was when I accompanied you last time?”
“Threaten to taser his balls. You’ll be okay for a couple of hours. Take someone with you.”
“Okay. Right. Except, I don’t have a taser.”
“I don’t have time for your whining, Emmy!” Kyle roared, finally looking up at me. “I need you to just do what I need you to do and stop crying about it.”
I stood there in a stunned silence for a moment. I was used to Kyle yelling at me, but to say that I was whining and crying was as good as calling me names. Yelling at his employees was bad enough, but I felt like he had reached an all-time low with belittling me. He had never said anything like that before. Then again, in the past I would have never approached him the way I did and argue. I guess we were both out of line, but it felt very personal.
To avoid violence, I turned on my heel to leave the room.
“Wait,” Kyle said. “I’m sorry. It’s just that—”
I spun around so quickly and with such a fierce look on my face, that he stopped talking. I took a few steps toward his desk, and in a tone so low no one outside of his office could hear it, I said, “Go fuck yourself.”
I left his office, slamming the door behind me.
Late that night, five minutes after Luke left, Kyle appeared at my front door. I didn’t let him in.
“What did you do? Circle the block until Luke left?” I asked, leaning against the doorframe with my arms crossed in front of me.
“Actually, yes I did,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably.
“What do you want, Kyle?”
“Are you going to invite me in? It’s pretty cold out here.”
It was cold, and I was letting all of the heat out with the door wide open, but I wasn’t letting him inside.
“That’s not a good idea. What do you want?” I asked again with a little more bite in my words.
He put his hands in the pockets of his coat. “You didn’t respond to my text messages.”
“I was busy. First I was busy trying to keep that creep Hernandez’s hands off of me, and then I was busy with my boyfriend.”
He flinched so slightly and quickly, that had I blinked, I would have missed it. When he sighed, his body sagged a little, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked away from me for a moment, his brow pulled together in serious thought.
“I’m sorry for leaving like that on Saturday,” he said quietly, turning his brown eyes back to me. “And I’m sorry for yelling at you today.” He brought a hand up to his hair and absently dragged his fingers through it. He looked tired, not just physically tired, but mentally and emotionally tired. “There’s a lot happening with the company right now that no one really knows about and it’s…it’s getting a little stressful, but I shouldn’t take it out on you. I told you before that you’re amazing at your job, and I really do appreciate you, Em. I hope you forgive me.”
I was truly shocked by yet another apology, and by the obvious lines of stress near his eyes, but I couldn’t just let him off of the hook.
“One day you’re going to say the wrong thing or yell at me too much and I’m going to leave and never go back,” I said with an edge of coldness in my voice. “You forget that I am at Sterling Corp because I love the company and I actually do like my job despite the fact that my boss is an asshole. I am not there for a paycheck. I can work anywhere. We both know that. It will serve you well to remember that before you open your douche puddle mouth.”
I was surprised when his eyes darkened dangerously with lust. Only Kyle could get off on me getting angry.
“Why don’t you let me come in and show you how sorry I am?” he asked as he boldly placed a hand on my hip.
Repressing a shiver, I shoved his hand off of me.
“No!” I exclaimed. “We agreed to put ‘us’ on hold, remember?”
“No, you agreed,” he said pointedly. “I adamantly disagreed.”
I sighed heavily. “It will be easier for both of us if you go along with it. You’re not ready to end it with Jess and quite frankly, I don’t want to let go of Luke either.”
He flinched again, but then with a determined look on his face, he said, “I don’t want to let go of you either.”
I ignored the quickening of my heart and scowled and poised myself to close the door. “You never had me, Kyle. Either you promise to keep our relationship in the friend zone, or we will have nothing between us but work.”
He looked at me for a long time. His eyes no longer held lust, but I still felt the danger as he looked upon me. I just wasn’t exactly sure where the danger was.
“I won’t promise,” he said finally. “But I will play things your way for now.”
“Forever,” I insisted.
Taking a few steps back, he said, “Nothing is forever, Emmy.”
He turned and started down the drive, but turned around half way down.
“Did you get Hernandez to sign?”
I rolled my eyes. “Of course I did.”
“Good girl,” he said with a small, proud smile.
He continued on to his car.
“I love you,” he called over his shoulder.
“Love you, too,” I said automatically and then realized my mistake when he turned and flashed me a grin.
Stupid, Emmy!
“Shit,” I said and slammed the door.
Chapter Fourteen
Over the following weeks, Kyle seemed to be playing by my rules. At work he still had his prickish moments, but his temper was better. I wasn’t sure how long it would last though. Last time it had only lasted a few weeks.
Most of our socialization revolved around work. We would chat a little throughout the day, mostly in emails, but most mornings, if time allowed it, we would meet in his office for a few minutes and chat casually. With Luke in my life full time, I stopped working late unless it was really necessary. On those nights, Kyle drove me to my car, and then we would meet for dinner at the diner.
We never talked about us and our time together, and rarely did we speak of Luke or Jessyca. I didn’t go to his place, and he didn’t go to mine. There was no flirting, no chaste kisses to the cheek, and no hugging. We were careful not to touch, cautious about how we looked at each other, and wa
ry of any prolonged silences. The declarations of love went away.
But…
Sometimes, when passing paperwork and documents back and forth, our fingers touched, and lingered a second too long. Sometimes when we talked, his eyes would often flicker to my mouth. I found that I liked to watch him enter a room, the confident stride, his straight shoulders and assessing eyes. I noticed that when Luke visited me in the office, Kyle’s office door would be open and he came out often. He pretended not to notice us, but more than once, I caught him staring at us. I was grateful that I didn’t have to see Jess as frequently as Kyle saw Luke, because the one time she popped into the office, I saw them kiss and it made my stomach tighten with so many knots that I went home sick.
It wasn’t always easy for us to be friends, but it was necessary. It was the right thing to do, since we should have never been more than that in the first place. I was selfish and didn’t want to give Kyle up completely; nor did I want to be a cheater. Our sometimes uncomfortable friendship was the only way. My hope was that eventually the awkward parts would pass, and our secret affair would be nothing more than an afterthought.
***
“My parents are having a cocktail party Saturday night,” Kyle said one night. We were waiting for the elevator after another late night of work. “My mother wanted me to extend an invitation to you.”
My eyes widened with surprise. In all of the years that I had worked at Sterling Corp, I had never received a direct invite to a function at the Sterling Estate unless it was somehow part of my job description. Even though I had my own share of wealth, I was still the help, and the Sterlings didn’t invite the help to their social gatherings.
“Me? Why did she invite me?”
“You must have impressed her at the gala.”
“We barely spoke ten sentences between us at the gala,” I said, stepping onto the elevator.
He shrugged. “She told me to be sure you and your ‘male companion’ are invited.”
