by L. D. Davis
I could tell by Emmet’s heavy sigh that he reluctantly agreed with what I said.
“So, are we just supposed to sneak around like we’re doing something wrong?” he asked.
“It isn’t forever, Emmet,” I said as soothingly as I could. “Even if no one says anything bad, you know your mom and your older sisters will put a lot of pressure on us. I don’t want our relationship under everyone else’s watchful eye, with their butting in and unwanted comments.”
“Okay,” he said with a sigh. “You’re right, but how long are we supposed to keep our relationship hidden?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Depends on a lot of things.”
“Okay,” he said again.
“Are you still going back to Jersey after the wedding?” I asked.
“Only if you’re coming back with me,” he said firmly.
“Yeah, that would be all kinds of trouble,” I laughed and gave him a quick kiss. “You better get out of here.”
Emmet kissed me tenderly until it started to get a little wild. Then he pried himself off of me and hurried from the room before our teenage hormonal lust got the best of us.
Chapter Eleven
If anyone was asleep or dead, Sam woke them up with her shrieks of joy fairly early in the morning when she realized her baby boy had arrived early. Soon other voices joined her in the hallway, half of them asking her to shut up. I rolled onto my side and covered my head with a pillow and then inhaled deeply. It was the pillow Emmet had lain on, and it smelled just like him. I smiled and kicked my feet excitedly. I had a boyfriend! And it was Emmet!
After the excitement had died down in the hallway, my door opened and slammed shut. I peeked out from under my pillow at Emmy’s disgruntled face. She got into my bed, forcing me to move over to make room for her.
“Didn’t you hear all of that damn noise?” she grumbled. “It’s only Emmet. She acts like the fucking Pope paid us a visit.”
I giggled and draped an arm over my best friend. “She’s excited to have her baby boy home.”
“She never gets excited like that for me. Like ever.”
I sighed and let my smile slip away. I felt bad for Em. She took a lot of crap from Sam. My second mother loved her family and took very good care of everyone, but she was also hard on everyone and brutally honest. Unfortunately, it seemed like she picked on Emmy a little more than anyone else. Maybe it was because Emmy fought so hard against her while the rest of the kids seemed to do whatever it was Sam wanted, or…maybe they were a little too much alike…
Emmy closed her eyes, and I followed suit. We managed to sleep for another hour before the smell of bacon and pancakes had us slowly stretching and working towards getting out of bed. I wondered if I should tell her about Emmet. How long was I going to carry on a secret relationship with her brother before I told her what was going on?
It’s only for a little while, I thought. The idea of anyone dissuading me from being with Emmet made my chest burn with worry. I just needed a little bit of time alone with him before anyone else nudged their noses in to our business.
I looked at Emmy and felt guilty. She wasn’t like her sisters and mother. She wouldn’t express outrage or tell me not to do it, but I wasn’t sure how she would feel about me dating her brother who was supposed to be very much my own brother.
We went downstairs together and joined everyone for breakfast at the huge dining room table. Lucky for me, there was a seat open between Emmet and Charlotte. Emmy was irritated with Emmet for showing up early and getting Sam excited enough to wake the entire household, so she sat away from him and away from her mom.
“Didja say hello to your brother,” Sam asked, looking from me to Emmy.
“Hi, Fred,” Emmy said crisply to her older brother without looking at Emmet.
Sam frowned. She looked like she was about to start in on Emmy and Emmy didn’t seem to be in the mood for any crap. A big fight would erupt in the middle of breakfast if someone didn’t intervene. The fights weren’t unusual between the mother and daughter, but they sure were annoying.
“Hi, Emmet,” I said to Emmet. I had felt his body heat the moment I had sat down.
“Hey,” he said casually, but I could see the desire in his eyes for a split second before he looked away.
Breakfast was noisy. Everyone tried to talk at the same time. Several conversations were going on at once around the table. It was chaos, but it was the normal chaos that was part of the Grayne family. It was warming to have everyone together, talking, debating, arguing, laughing, and eating and drinking.
Under the table, fingers trailed over my knee. I casually dropped my hand into my lap and even as I spoke across the table to Freddy’s wife Yasmine, I hooked my fingers with Emmet’s. He squeezed my hand softly and stroked the back of my hand with his thumb. Goosebumps rose up and down my arm. I had to tone down my sunshiny smile that was probably blinding half of the table. I wasn’t a miserable kid, but I wasn’t All Smiles All of the Time either. Emmy, Fred, and maybe even Sam would pick up on my unusually high mood quicker than a police dog could sniff out drugs. I didn’t have an excuse readily available, so I forced my smile away and continued to hold Emmet’s hand under the table.
After breakfast, everyone scattered in various directions. Everyone seemed to have an agenda except for me. I decided to go upstairs and lounge in bed with a few Vogue magazines. When I got upstairs, I found Emmet standing in the hallway with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall. He looked so good, with his muscular arms, sparkling green eyes and bed hair.
“Are you waiting for someone?” I asked softly so no one else could hear.
“Not anymore,” he answered.
His kiss was hard and hungry as he put his hands on my hips and guided me to the wall he had just been leaning on. He pinned me there with his body as he kissed me. His hands were in my hair, and my hands were in his. We were all arms and fingers and mouths.
Kissing Emmet was exhilarating. My brain kind of floated away and thoughts about anything else but the moment we were in vanished. My skin was ultra-sensitive to his touch. His hands drifted slowly down my sides and then slipped under the hem of my shirt. I was nervous about where his hands would go next, but I wasn’t nervous enough to stop kissing him.
His hands were hot on my skin. His thumbs stroked the soft flesh of my belly, sending tingling sensations to places that made me feel light-headed, made my heart race, and my body temperature rise. Did he have any idea what he was doing to me? I knew what I was doing to him. The evidence was rock solid against my lower belly.
That would have scared the crap out of me months ago, not excited me. I suddenly felt raw with need. I remembered how he felt on top of me that day in his room, and I wanted to repeat it, and finish it.
I pushed against him and let his mouth swallow my soft moan. He pushed back against me but then moved his body away from mine so that he was no longer poking me with the proof of his excitement. I protested with a mew and tried to move against him again, but he held me against the wall with his hands and pulled away from my lips.
“Don’t tease me like that,” he warned in a whisper.
“Who said I was teasing?” I pushed against his hands and peered up at him.
He groaned lightly and then shook his head. “I don’t want you to go too fast. I don’t want to screw this up.”
My horny haze lifted and I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. Wasn’t I always preaching to Emmet about being too young for so many things? Yet, there I was, trying to grind against him in the hallway with members of our family only steps away.
“Ugh,” I said and dropped my head to his chest. “You’re right. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“I’m hot, and I turn you on.”
I slapped his arm as his body shook with laughter.
“Is it always going to be like this?” I asked. “Because I may succeed in grossing myself out. There has to be more to us than making out.”
&nbs
p; “Of course there is more to us,” he said with a gentle smile. He put his hand on my heart and lifted my hand to his. “We’re connected. Remember?”
My heart melted. I smiled and nodded. “Yes.”
His other hand cupped my face. He made no move to kiss me, and I was more than okay with that. Staring into Emmet’s eyes with our hands on each other’s hearts made me feel more exhilarated than any kiss.
The door to the bathroom began to open. Emmet backed away from me and threw me a quick smile as he headed towards his room and I stepped across the hall to mine. Emmy came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel, steam billowing out behind her.
“What are you doing just standing there?” she asked me.
“I can stand here if I want to,” I shot back and then went into my room.
*~*~*
Emmy and I swung lazily in a hammock later that afternoon, reading magazines and talking about boys. Well, mostly Emmy talked about boys. I listened and commented. There was only one boy for me, and I wasn’t ready to talk about him.
“Is there anyone back home you like?” she asked me.
“No,” I answered honestly. I wasn’t lying. Emmet was nearby.
“Are you a lesbian?” She looked at me with a serious expression. “If you are, it’s okay. I don’t want you to munch my rug or anything, but I’ll love you anyway.”
I raised an eyebrow. “No. Why would you ask me that?”
“Because you’re weird,” she shrugged.
“So…lesbians are weird?”
“That’s not what I meant!” She bristled, and I laughed. “You don’t talk about any guys, and you only ever go out with a guy if I make you go out on a double date. Since you almost kissed Jorge last year, I haven’t seen you try to kiss anyone else. You’re so…good. Like, you don’t care about boys the way the rest of the girls our age do.”
I tried to hide my guilt with a smile. I wasn’t that good. I attempted to jump her brother only a couple of hours ago. I wanted to tell her about Emmet. I wanted to tell her I wasn’t so good and that I had indeed kissed another boy since Jorge— two if I included Andrew Newland.
“I wish I were like you,” Emmy said quietly before I could decide whether or not to tell her about her brother.
I looked at her with some amusement and a lot of confusion. “Why would you want to be like me?”
“You’re comfortable in your own skin,” she murmured and looked up at the canopy the two trees holding our resting place made together. “You’re not a horny teenager. You don’t do drugs. You don’t drink.”
“I’m just as horny as any other teenager,” I argued. “And I smoked with you once or twice and hello! I was just as drunk as you at Jorge’s party last year!”
“D,” Emmy said my abbreviated name with exasperation. She looked at me carefully. “You may be a horny teenager, but you have that shit in check. You’re not like me, sneaking out to make out with the boy of the hour. You have everything in check. Nothing rules you. You rule yourself. You don’t have weed hidden in your underwear drawer and tequila hidden in your closet. I’m all kinds of fucked up, Donya. You ground me. You had a rough life with your parents, and I had everything, but you’re the one with her head screwed on straight.”
“Girl, you’ll be alright,” I nudged her with my shoulder. “And my head isn’t screwed on as straight as you think.”
“Whatever,” she said, unconvinced.
I needed to tell her about Emmet. She had the wrong idea about me. Yeah, I wasn’t into the drugs and drinking and screwing around like she was, but I wasn’t entirely innocent. It wasn’t fair that she shared her whole life with me, and I couldn’t share this one thing.
“Emmy, I have a confession,” I said quietly.
“You are a lesbian?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“No,” I sighed, shaking my head. “What’s with you thinking I’m a lesbian?”
She shrugged and then a mischievous smile appeared on her face. “Bethanne Wendzel is a lesbian. I know she’s a year older than us, but she’s kinda hot.”
I rolled my eyes and laughed. “So, you want to set me up with another lesbian?”
“Another hot lesbian, bay-bay,” she said rubbing her shoulder with mine.
I laughed again. Emmy always made me laugh, even when we were little kids, and I was struggling at home, she would make me laugh. I loved her for it.
“Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Em, but I’m not a lesbian. Bethanne will have to find some other hot girl.”
“She is hot, though,” Emmy said and looked at me for a response.
“Yes, she is hot,” I admitted of the blonde bombshell.
“Emmet totally nailed her. Male slut,” she said with disdain.
I gave her a look. “You just said that the girl is a lesbian. Why would a lesbian screw your brother?”
“Okay, so maybe she’s bi, but I know she likes girls, too.”
Just like that my laughter was sucked into the humid Louisiana air.
“You seem to know an awful lot about Emmet’s sex life,” I said as lightly as I could manage.
“Not on purpose,” she said, making a disgusted sound. “Ew. I called Mayson last night, remember?”
I nodded and waited for her to continue.
“She told me that Emmet had a couple of parties over the summer. Of course, he would have the parties when we can’t get to them,” she complained. “May said that Emmet and Bethanne were slurping all over each other, but then they disappeared. Mayson overheard a couple of Emmet’s friends talking about Emmet hitting it—Bethanne’s ‘it’.”
I waited a moment before speaking. I wanted to be sure that my voice wasn’t trembling.
“So, there is no absolute proof…” I said carefully.
“Donya, where have you been?” Emmy looked at me like she didn’t know who I was. “If you paid any attention, you would know that Emmet can’t keep it in his pants. Bethanne, Stella, Sheila, Jane—they’re all a few names on a pretty long list of hoe thangs.”
I fought against the urge to close my eyes in disbelief. I looked at my hands and realized I was rolling up the magazine into a tight cylinder that could be used to maybe beat Bethanne, Stella, Sheila, Jane and of course, Emmet.
I let the magazine fall into my lap and forced a small laugh.
“How do you know these things?”
“I’m in the know,” Emmy said proudly.
“Are you sure you’re just not in the rumor mill?” I offered.
“I am positive that these aren’t just rumors, D.”
I searched wildly for a ray of hope.
“Well, at least they weren’t all in one summer,” I said.
“The summer is only half over, baby cakes,” my friend pointed out. “Bethanne was only last week. I know he did Stella again before she took off for California, and that was just before we left to come down here. See? Male slut.” She shook her head. “I’m ashamed to be his sister sometimes. Then again, I’m no prize either I guess.” She frowned for a moment before looking at me earnestly. “Thank god he looks at you like a sister, or he’d probably try to screw you, too.” She made a disgusted face and then made the international Gag Me sign. “Gross. So glad you’re not one of those girls that go for the best friend’s brothers. Then again, you’re not like other girls. I love you for it.”
She kissed my cheek and beamed at me. I reached deep, deep down and found a smile for her.
“I’m starving. I’m going to make a sandwich,” she said, carefully rolling off of the hammock. “Want one?”
“No, thanks,” I said with my plastered smile. “I think I’ll go for a walk in a few.”
“Yeah, I’m not walking in this heat. Have fun with that, sister.”
She grabbed her magazine, threw me one last carefree smile and headed off to the house, her ponytail bouncing perkily as she went.
My fake smile fell away. While I was alone and there was no one to witness it, I let my real feelings come t
hrough for a few moments.
I knew Emmet had been with a few girls, but I didn’t know that it had been so many and so recently. Even though we weren’t together and I had pushed him away, I felt rather betrayed that he had slept with Stella again. I had no idea when he had slept with most of the other girls.
Why couldn’t he seriously just keep his dick in his pants? If he loved me as much as he said he did, why was he sleeping with half of the female population of our school?
Even if I could get past his sexual adventures, things wouldn’t be easy for us. I had been right about keeping our relationship from the family. Emmy had made it abundantly clear how she felt about her brother being in a relationship with her best friend. My hopes that she would eventually come around fizzled out when I heard the contempt in her voice for such an idea.
I got out of the hammock and put on my shoes. Emmet and Fred had gone out after breakfast, but they would be back anytime. I didn’t want to look at him and imagine his face attached to the faces of those other girls. I didn’t even want to look at Emmy at that moment.
As I began to walk down the long dirt driveway, Fred’s truck turned onto it off of the main road. I thought about going off of the road and cutting through the woods to avoid them, but it was already too late. The truck came to a stop beside me.
Emmet smiled at me, but I didn’t return it.
“Where you off to, Kiddo?” Fred asked.
“I’m just going for a walk,” I said, trying to sound casual.
“You okay?” he asked. Fred always knew when something was bothering me. I was thankful for it, but it was unwelcome at that moment.
“I’m good,” I lied. “I’ll be better after a walk.”
“Don’t go too far,” he warned.
“You’re going to let her go?” Emmet asked his dad incredulously.
Fred looked at Emmet as if he had sprouted another head. “Emmet, she’ll be fine.”
“She’s a young…pretty girl…walking alone,” Emmet stammered.
