by Sarah Holman
“Did you get any sleep?” Brian asked Thomas. There was no teasing, no smile, no playful jab.
Out of all of them, Thomas physically appeared the worst. His eyes were bloodshot and he kept rubbing at them. He didn’t have a hat on, and his shirt was wrinkled.
“There was a lot…a lot that needed to get done. As soon as we finish here, I’m going to get some sleep.” Thomas let out a long breath. “We are still sifting through all of Calvin Oke’s things. While it will take a long time to officially reach this conclusion, it doesn’t look like he truly had a motive. A long message was left on how he built the bombs, but he gave no reasons behind his choice of targets.”
“So, it was senseless?” Logan said.
Thomas uttered a couple of very choice words not directed to Logan but at Calvin. “Things like this never really have a good reason. If you are a reasonable person, no matter what has happened, you find avenues of working it out. You don’t start blowing up people. Yes, it was senseless.”
“His family…” Logan started but a sob stopped her words.
Thomas took a deep breath. “I know this has been hard for all of us. He wasn’t like what we thought he would be. The police found a package he had mailed to a daycare and one that he had left in an alley. The placement was with people who had nothing to do with the school. Some are even questioning if their connection with the school was a lead in the first place.”
“The family?” Brian asked.
Thomas rubbed his eyes again. “Security is with them around the clock. They are already receiving threats from some of the families of Calvin’s victims. Relocation has already been mentioned. Obviously, the family is deeply established here and doesn’t want to leave. Other teams will be moving in to deal with that.”
“What’s left for us?” Patrick asked.
“Everyone will wrap up their cover,” Kim said. “We’ll be staying through the Dickens Christmas festival.”
“That should give us enough time.” Kate’s eyes were red and she kept pressing her fingers just below them. Patrick guessed that she was fighting tears too.
Thomas took a step toward Kate and Logan. “You two are leaving this room and reporting directly to the debriefing team.”
“I don’t really…” Kate began.
Thomas held up his hand. “This isn’t open for debate. You two have been at the center of this and haven’t talked to anyone. You are going to go get some of this off your chest. This is not an evaluation. The people in the next room are here to listen and give you some tips on how to process what you’ve been through.”
Patrick knew that Thomas couldn’t force Kate and Logan to see them. It was optional, but he agreed with Thomas. He himself planned to go talk with someone. He glanced toward Logan, and her head was still on the table. This must feel a little too close to home for her. This church, that family, could so easily be hers.
“Patrick and Brian, you two need to work with…the uh…” Thomas pinched the bridge of his nose. He shifted and Patrick was on his feet, but Brian got to his side before Patrick had taken a step.
“What?” Thomas said, shaking off the arm Brian had placed on him.
“Mr. President, you were swaying. You look like you are going to fall over. I might not be the boss, but I think Kim and I can wrap up here. Saint Patty, make sure he doesn’t collapse in the hallway.”
“Fine,” Thomas said, taking a shaky step toward the door. “But if you try to hold my hand, I’ll punch you and leave you.”
“Wouldn’t think of it, Mr. President.” Patrick walked right behind Thomas. The guy was exhausted but he was able to walk straight and made his way to the elevator.
“Have you heard about what the people from the Okes’ church are saying?” Thomas asked as the elevator opened.
“No.” Patrick braced himself for something ugly. People, even good ones, could say the dumbest things.
“Nothing, that’s what. The media has been all over that church and all of them to a person have refused to talk to the media.” Thomas pressed the button for his floor.
Patrick didn’t say anything, but he thought that was the best news he could have heard.
“However, I happen to have heard that the pastor sent out an email.”
Now came the bad news, he was sure of it.
“He told the congregation and asked them not to speak to the media, that if they were upset, he and another local pastor would be there for the church members. However, he said he would not tolerate anyone blaming the parents or family for what Calvin had done. So far, every member has abided by that. I’ve never seen something like that.” The elevator slipped open and Thomas moved down the hall.
Patrick swallowed and followed him. He had to tread carefully. “And sooner or later, one of them will probably say something insensitive and even stupid, because they are still humans. What you are seeing, Thomas, right now, is how the church works all around the country every day. It rallies around those who are hurting. It does it imperfectly because it’s full of imperfect people, but it does it.”
“Most of the time, the church hurts people.” Thomas pressed his palms into his eyes and swore. “You know all the things they said after my sister’s suicide?”
Oh how he wished someone else, anyone else, were here. Patrick prayed that he wouldn’t mess this up. “I’m sure there were many that said hurtful things. People often say stupid and hurtful things when they don’t know how to handle a situation. I think when we grow up in the church, it can be easy to see the mess and forget to see the things they did right. I think there are more churches out there doing, in smaller and in different ways, what this church is doing for the Oke family. It’s just always easier to find the negative story than the positive one.”
Thomas slid the key into his door and turned to Patrick, fatigue and pain etched into every feature. “I can’t come back to the faith.”
Patrick didn’t say anything, didn’t move. He knew this was the moment when he had to simply listen.
“God would expect me to forgive all the people who said my sister went to hell, who blamed my parents, who blamed me. I’d have to forgive God for letting it happen. I’d have to accept that God lets people like Calvin do what they do. I can’t do that.”
Still Patrick said nothing. What could he say? Forgiveness was part of the life of a believer; he couldn’t argue with Thomas. He couldn’t tell Thomas any theological arguments that he hadn’t already been raised knowing.
Thomas rubbed his eyes. “Forget it.” He started to close the door.
“Thomas.” Patrick had to say something.
Thomas stood with the door half-closed, but he waited.
“I’m sorry they hurt you.” He wanted to say more, to say that God loved him and there would come a day when evil would be cast out of creation once and for all. But he didn’t. He stood there, guessing he had said enough for one day.
Thomas closed the door without a word.
Snow
Saturday, December 12 1:00PM
“I thought the street would be empty.” Kate glanced over at Logan. She had to smile; they both looked pretty funny in their Victorian garb. However, she would dress like this for a week if it kept Logan smiling.
“Didn’t you hear? The mayor of Nashville asked people from surrounding towns to come and show their solidarity with the victims of the Franklin, Tennessee, bomber. I read on the web this morning that they are expecting a record turnout this year. There are even people busing in from other states, many with costumes.”
“I guess that explains the group with Texas shirts and cowboy hats. I guess they didn’t get the dress code memo.”
“They probably got it. Texans don’t always listen the best.”
A family went by laughing together and a person dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Past called out to people as they passed. Costumes of every color could be seen. Some of them looked authentic, others looked like someone threw on a cheap Halloween costume. It didn’t
really matter what they were wearing, they were here, filling a town that had been living in terror with the sounds of happy, excited people.
“Well, look at those dashing young men.”
Kate’s head jerked toward Logan. She had never heard her call attention to passing strangers. She even heard her speak against the practice of pointing out cute guys as a foolish pastime. When Kate realized what she was pointing at, she smiled.
Thomas, Patrick, and Brian were striding toward them in Victorian-style suits. Thomas wore a top hat while Patrick and Brian carried bowlers and let the cold wind blow in their hair. They did look good. They parted a little and Kim stood in a stunning Oriental outfit.
“Did you miss the dress code memo, Kim?” Logan asked, waving her hand at the dress.
Kim’s eyebrows rose. “This is what my ancestors were wearing during your Victorian era. Not everyone lived in the west, you know.” She smirked, obviously pleased with herself.
“We would have been here sooner,” Brian said, placing his hat on his head at a jaunty angle. “However, we were momentarily detained.”
“Ah, I suppose the Ghost of Christmas Future wanted to speak with Thomas,” Logan said in mock seriousness, a ball appearing in her hand from some hidden pocket. She tossed it into the air. It was red and green, of course.
“Unlike Ebenezer, I think it will take something a little bigger than that to change Thomas’s heart.” Brian winked.
Kate thought there was a serious note in his voice.
Thomas ribbed him. “Okay, if you sanctimonious people are done making fun of the heathen in your midst, I think I’m going to get a cocoa and call my girlfriend. I have a Christmas to plan.”
Kate watched him walk away and turned toward the others. “Have y’all cleaned out your apartment?”
Patrick moved to her side and they started walking, enjoying the sound of a group of old-fashioned carolers singing “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel.” “Yep, all packed and ready to go home. I’ll be glad to get back to a couch that doesn’t poke me.”
Brian smiled. “You’re going to miss having me as a roommate.”
“Jamie can have you. You snore.”
“Caramel popcorn,” Kim said, moving toward a booth.
“Wait for me!” Logan moved to join Kim.
“I better get a sample too. Can’t leave the ladies alone. It isn’t the gentlemanly thing to do.” Brian tipped his hat toward Kate. “Miss Johnson.”
Kate couldn’t help but smile.
“Did you want some?” Patrick asked.
She shook her head. “I’m not a big fan of sweetened popcorn. It’s supposed to be salty.”
“Popcorn has no flavor. It’s a blank palate for anything you want to put on it.”
She raised a brow. “Then you eat the stuff.”
His dimpled smile appeared. “I don’t like caramel.”
They passed a group of people dressed as characters from Oliver Twist who seemed to be reenacting one of the scenes from the book.
“It’s still so hard to believe,” Kate said, taking a deep breath of the cold air. “Calvin came from a loving family, grew up in a loving church, and was smart. How can this happen?”
“The devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he can devour. Have you watched a lion hunt? They run into a pack of animals that can run faster than it can. An animal panics and separates from the herd. Alone, it doesn’t have what it takes to outrun a lion.”
Kate shoved her hands into her pockets to ward off the cold.
“The devil works the same way. He’s always looking for people he can deceive, and he starts by separating people from the herd with lies that their pain is unique, no one can understand them, that they are alone. They fall into the trap of thinking they are responsible to deal justice, to make things right, and whatnot. If you listen to lies long enough, you are alone and delusional. Your actions are not logical because they are not based on facts.”
“Isn’t there some pain that is unique?” Kate asked.
Patrick touched her arm and she stopped. “Not everyone will understand your pain. There are times when few people will. Only God can see and understand every aspect of your pain. It’s in those times that we have to remind ourselves that God is our refuge and strength, our ever-present help in times of trouble. His power is made perfect in our weakness.”
“But Calvin knew all that and still chose to walk away from his faith, family, and values.”
“He did it one step at a time.”
Kate crossed her arms. “As my friend, what would you do if I started taking steps away?”
Patrick’s smile bloomed. “Throw you over my shoulder and drag you back to the straight and narrow.”
“Oh really?” She lifted her brows, trying hard not to smile.
He sobered. “I’d say something, Kate. Friends do that for each other.” He took a step closer. “You’re stuck with me now.”
Kate couldn’t move. Her heart raced and she felt pinned to the spot. Something was changing in her and she wasn’t sure what.
Someone shouted and all around Kate, people were pointing up. She shook her head and forced her gaze upward. It was snowing. Warm hands covered hers and she looked at Patrick.
He smiled and took a couple of steps back and then to the side. Soon they were spinning, faces turned up toward the snow.
She laughed. Thoughts of Calvin fell away quicker than if she had been on a run. They kept spinning. All the anxiety of the last few days fell away in the joy, the lights, and Patrick.
He was laughing when he brought them to a stop and she stumbled into him, dizzy.
She took a step back, still laughing, and warmth spread through her chest. It was unlike anything she had felt before. Was it the dizziness? No, it was something completely new, something that grew stronger with each moment she stood laughing with Patrick.
“Come on, you two!” Thomas called, coming up to them. “We’re getting our picture with Father Christmas.”
Patrick gave her a last grin before they moved to rejoin the group.
Kate joined, but she felt like her heart was floating above her. As if nothing would ever be wrong in life again, as if… She wasn’t sure, but it was wonderful and she never wanted the feeling to go away.
Acting Weird
Sunday, December 13 3:45PM
Patrick glanced over at Kate as they walked through the San Antonio airport. Brian and Logan were ahead of them. The airport was already busy with holiday traffic. Families were heading out of town to enjoy the holidays. He inwardly checked the self-pity that he wouldn’t be among them.
He had called his parents and told them he would be seeing them the week after Christmas. It had been hard to disappoint his parents, but he didn’t regret his decision. Not only could he help Kate make things right with her parents, but he would get a glimpse into her world. Perhaps he could be a better friend after meeting her family.
They made a turn to exit the secure area and Brian started running. Patrick smiled as he picked Jamie up and kissed her as he twirled her around. For a few moments, Brian seemed oblivious to the cries of his children asking for hugs. His eyes remained on Jamie and he gave her another lingering kiss. If Patrick ever married, he didn’t want to settle for anything less than what Brian had.
Mike tugged on his dad’s pant leg. Was the kid really already seven? How time flew. Four-year-old Arianna reached up, and Brian reached down and swung her high over his head, then did the same with two-year-old Lindsey.
“Logan, look.”
Patrick turned at Kate’s voice and followed her finger. Behind Jamie, standing alone, was a young man. He smiled.
“Kevin? Kevin!” Logan ran toward him, her pink ball dropping to the ground.
Patrick picked it up and watched as Logan rushed toward Kevin and stopped just in front of him. Kevin closed the distance and wrapped her in a big hug. He then handed her a bouquet of white roses with some poinsettias stuck into it.
&nbs
p; “They’re so sweet,” Kate said. “I was beginning to think they didn’t believe in any physical contact. This courtship thing is weird.”
Patrick started walking again, Kate following behind him. They would be taking cabs back home since no one was there to pick them up. “It’s different, but I don’t know, some of it makes sense.”
“You think so?”
Patrick shrugged. “I’m not saying I agree with all of it, but I have to admit the current mode of getting to know a future spouse isn’t exactly turning out a ton of long-lasting marriages. Back when they did formal courting, marriages lasted longer. Maybe there was something to it.”
“It’s still weird.” Kate dragged in a long breath. “Not that I have to worry about it.”
He glanced at Kate, then focused on heading to where the cabs came in. Thomas had gone ahead to make arrangements. He saw him standing at a counter. Why wouldn’t Kate have to worry? She was pretty and smart. Guys would see how amazing she was. Then again maybe she was like him and decided it was better to stay single for the job.
Kate took one look behind them.
Patrick glanced as Logan and Kevin walked away, no doubt to the parking garage. Logan was gesturing excitedly. She didn’t even miss the ball that was now tucked into his pocket. He turned toward Thomas and found that he was no longer alone. A woman stood in a dress that had Patrick working hard to focus on her face.
“Know who that is?” Kate asked quietly.
“It could be Sandra, unless Thomas has changed girlfriends again.” He pasted on a smile as they got closer.
“Your taxi is arranged,” Thomas said, handing Patrick a paper. “As you can see, I got a surprise ride. Patrick and Kathrine, this is my girlfriend, Sandra.”
Well, at least Thomas was with the same girl he was with a couple of months ago. He wondered how much longer the relationship would last. As long as he had known Thomas, a year was the longest he had been with anyone. Madeline had that honor.
“You two kids have a nice Christmas,” Thomas said, adjusting his fedora.
