by Lorraine Ray
excelled in school. Besides, Tim objected, he hadn’t started the Snake Dance project. The whole thing had been Mr. Himmelstein's idea. Tim explained that imitating Native Americans was no longer cool and he had liked many activities in scouting until the sham ceremonies began and then he objected on the grounds that replicating Native American ceremonies was silly and disrespectful. Tim’s father was silent and then contrasted Tim’s quitting with his older brother’s integrity and will-power in becoming an Eagle Scout and later starting his own engineering firm. Did success in life mean sometimes compromising your high ideals and carrying through with something that you didn’t agree with 100%? No matter where you worked wouldn’t there be something objectionable about it? Would wives and children disappoint Tim later? Could he quit on them?
Then Tim’s father paused and asked if Tim would be following his older sister’s lead in his life choices? Where did he think following a sister, a female, would take someone? Did successful people ever take their ideas from women? When had he ever heard of a successful man taking his ideas and ideals from a woman, especially a young woman? Did Tim identify with females more than males, asked his father? Tim squirmed when his father said that. There seemed to be strange implications, weird side issues, branching off from his decision which Tim had never imagined, and which seemed absurd. Tim tried to contain and hide his apprehension for weeks after the interview ended.
That October, when Mr. Delfs planned the annual fishing trip to Aguabampo on the Sea of Cortez, he included his two older sons, but not Tim.
Startled by his father’s ferocity and staying power over the silly issue of the Snake Dance, Tim felt himself being cautious and mistrustful around people and he withdrew more from situations. Though Tim remained close to his sister and formed a happy marriage and had children, time could never break through the divide, the cold fury and disfavor, which his father had built up against his youngest son. As the years went by, Tim’s father never offered to help with college career choices or money. The bitterness remained palpable between them for all the years after and their relationship suffered, though, oddly, nothing more was ever said about scouting.
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THE END
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