Distrust

by Lisa Jackson

  “All right,” she whispered. “I’ll give it a shot.”

  He laughed, a warm sound that echoed through the still night.

  “Bad choice of words,” she admitted, her eyes crinkling at the corners and her lips lifting into a graceful smile that Chase found irresistible.

  “I’ll forgive you,” he said, brushing his lips against hers with a tenderness that made her heart ache. She felt his fingers grip her waist, warming her skin through the light fabric of her dress, leaving soft impressions on her flesh.

  “You’ll forgive me,” she retorted, trying to sound and feel offended when all she could concentrate on was the warmth of his lips against hers, the feel of his hands as they circled her and pressed against her naked back, the sound of her heart thundering in her chest.

  “If you beg me—”

  “Chase McEnroe!” she said, lifting her head. But any further arguments were quickly stilled by the sweet pressure of his mouth on hers and the wet feel of his tongue touching hers, darting into and stroking the inside of her mouth and destroying any thoughts of breaking the embrace. It had been so long since she’d been wanted by a man, so long since she’d wanted to be with one. And this man, damn him, was so very special.

  She felt the strap of her dress fall again and then the heat of Chase’s lips as he touched her neck and shoulders, kissing her exposed skin and the top of her breast. Legs trembling, she leaned back against the post, lost in his seductive power. One of his hands splayed against the firm muscles of her back and the other came forward, reaching up to claim one breast and touch the smooth skin rounding softly over the top of her dress.

  Groaning, he slid lower. His tongue was rough and warm, leaving dewy impressions on her dress as he knelt and kissed her cotton-draped torso, burying his face in the smell and feel of her. Caught in the folds of her skirt, he captured the rounded swell of her buttocks and pulled her urgently forward.

  His breath was warm and it fanned the wanton fires of desire in her blood. He held her close, her abdomen positioned near his face. Her hair fell down to her hips, brushing against the back of his hand. She struggled, but not to break away from him, only from her own heated fantasies of making love to him all night long.

  “I want you,” he whispered into the dress, his breath permeating the soft cloth and burning against her flesh, turning her insides liquid. “And you want me—you can’t deny it—”

  “Wanting isn’t enough,” she whispered.

  Standing, but still holding her close, he shifted against her, pressing her against the post, letting her feel the hard need rising within him while the weathered wood cooled her back. His eyes were dark and glazed, his fingers twining in the golden strands of her hair.

  “I wish I’d never met you,” he admitted, hating himself for his need to bare his soul. “Because you’ve been driving me out of my mind. I’ve never wanted a woman, any woman, the way I want you. I know this is crazy, but I can’t fight it any longer.”

  She tried to reply, but couldn’t find her voice. The thick night air grew tense.

  “Tell me no,” he whispered, kissing her lips and letting his hand tug on the strap of her dress, pulling the ribbon of fabric still lower until her breast was free and the soft white mound with the dark nipple protruded forward, eager for his touch.

  She reached up, covering herself with one hand and he placed his larger hand over hers, gently kneading the soft, warm flesh. A warm glow started burning deep within her as he clasped her wrist and forced the hand away, baring her skin to the moonlit night. “You can’t hide from me,” he said, tracing the point of her nipple with the finger of his free hand. “And you don’t want to.”

  “It’s just that I . . . I don’t know what I want.” Deep within her, an ache had begun to throb, destroying her rational thought.

  “Let me love you.”

  “Oh, Chase—Oh, God,” she whispered as he bent forward and kissed the point of her breast, teasing it lightly with his lips, wetting it and letting it cool in the still night air.

  Dani was dizzy with desire, her knees threatened to collapse beneath her, but she managed to claim one last doubt. “I . . . I just can’t forget about Caleb.”

  Chase stiffened, his eyes sparkling as they delved into hers. “Caleb has nothing to do with this.”

  “But . . . but today, by the creek. I saw your reaction. I know that Caleb suggested that you . . .”

  “The hell with Caleb Johnson,” he swore, his eyes blazing. “If you believe anything on this earth, Dani, you’ve got to believe that what’s happening between you and me had nothing, nothing to do with Johnson or his damned resort. I didn’t want to fall in love with you, God knows I hate myself for it, but I can’t deny it either.”

  Before she could protest, he captured her parted lips with his mouth, his arms surrounding her possessively, his tongue searching her mouth for its mate. Without thinking, she molded herself against him, felt the heat of his body surround her and knew that tonight she was his and his alone!

  He picked her up and carried her inside the dark house, letting the screen door slam shut behind him.

  Dani couldn’t stop returning the fever of his kisses. Even when he laid her on the worn rug near the fireplace, she clung to him, almost desperate for the comfort and warmth of his body next to hers. She didn’t cry out when he found the zipper of her sundress and slowly slid the dress off her body, easing the soft cotton fabric over her breasts, hips and down her legs. Pale light from a crescent moon and a few winking stars filtered through the open windows. It was just enough illumination to allow her to see the shadowed contours of his face, to read the passion in his slumberous eyes.

  She was cool for a moment, the sultry summer air drying the perspiration clinging to her skin. But as Chase slipped the dress past her ankles and began kissing her bare legs, moving upward with his lips, caressing the smooth skin of her hips and abdomen as he gently, pulled her tighter against him, the yearning within her ignited to sparks of desire, long dead but now white hot.

  When she was lying beside him, pressed hard against his body, he struggled out of his shirt and cast it aside and then kicked off his jeans. He began rubbing the length of his sinewy body over hers, letting her feel the strength of his corded muscles, the power of his raw masculinity, the smooth texture of his flesh against hers.

  She touched him hesitantly at first, but when he moaned against her hair, she couldn’t stop herself from tracing the firm line of his muscles with her fingers, and she felt him suck in his breath when she circled his flat hardened nipple.

  “You have no idea what you do to me,” he groaned as he rolled atop of her, holding her face between his hands as he slowly parted her legs and moved gently, watching as he embraced her, dipping his head to touch his mouth to hers as he found her.

  She felt the softness of his lips on hers, the gentle warmth of his fingers molding her breasts and the heart-stopping ecstasy of union when he entered her. Her heart was hammering expectantly, her breath shallow and tight as he moved, slowly at first and then more quickly when she responded, holding him close, her fingers digging into the hard muscles of his back, her voice whispering his name over and over as her blood ran in hot rivulets through her veins.

  She felt warm and loved and whole and the joy in her heart increased with the tempo of his lovemaking until she felt she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak, couldn’t do anything but quiver in the warmth and desire controlling her mind and body.

  She closed her eyes in that final moment when both their bodies released the tension that had built between them for weeks. She cried his name and quaked with an inner, rocking explosion that caused a thousand shooting stars to burst inside her head. Tears of joy and relief filled her eyes when the weight of his body fell against her, his flat chest crushing her breasts, his belabored breathing whispering against her ears and the pounding of his heart echoing the rapid thunder of hers.

  “Oh, God, Dani,” he murmured at length, gazing in
to her eyes and cradling her small face in his large, rough hands. “What are we going to do?”

  “I don’t know.” She brushed his golden hair off his brow, smoothing the deep furrow lining his forehead. Slowly, through the haze of afterglow, her mind began to clear. “We’ll have to go on as we have, I suppose.”

  “I can’t.” He saw the tears standing in her eyes and kissed them as he rolled onto the shabby carpet and wrapped his arms lovingly around her.

  “We don’t have a choice.”

  “There are always choices,” he whispered.

  “Chase—”

  “Shh.” He placed a finger to her lips. “For just this once, don’t argue with me.”

  His gaze slid down her body, and he noted the sheen of perspiration on her skin, the soft bend of her waist, her rounded hips and slim legs. “You’re an incredibly beautiful woman.”

  Balancing on one elbow, she laughed, brushing aside her remaining tears and tossing her hair away from her face. Even in the darkness, the silken strands shimmered gold. Chase reached forward and touched a wayward curl that fell across Dani’s shoulder and brushed across the tip of her nipple.

  “Lady Godiva,” he whispered, and Dani laughed again.

  “I don’t think so. Besides, she was more than a little notorious.”

  “So are you.”

  “Me?” She shook her head and Chase was mesmerized by the tousled honey-gold curls sweeping over her breasts. “You ve got the wrong lady.”

  “Do I?” His teeth flashed in the darkness and he traced the round edge of her nipple with his finger, watching as the dark peak stiffened. “I hope not. I hope to God not.”

  Then he bent forward and circled her nipple with his tongue and Dani felt shivers of delight dart up her spine. “Chase . . . please . . . I don’t think—”

  “Don’t think.” He kissed her again; gently at first and then harder and with a hungry, burning passion that surprised even him. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of her, as if he had to claim her as his own, brand her with his mark.

  Deftly he lifted her to her feet and then into the air, carrying her up the stairs, holding her body against his and pausing only slightly at Cody’s room before walking down the hall to her bedroom and placing her on the old four-poster. The springs squeaked, the mattress sagged and the old hand-pieced quilt her grandinother had made for her slid off the bed. But Dani didn’t notice. She was concerned only with Chase and giving and receiving the warm comfort he offered.

  He rolled over her and parted her legs with his and she welcomed him again, offering herself eagerly and never once thinking that their lovemaking was for only one night.

  * * *

  Dani woke with the dawn. Sunlight was streaming through the open window, birds were chirping merrily and the cattle were already bawling for breakfast.

  Chase was still asleep. Sprawled over three-quarters of the bed, with one tanned arm draped possessively across Dani’s breasts, he snored against the pillow.

  She watched him quietly, noticing the way his blond hair fell across his forehead, how his dark lashes rested over his angular cheeks and how his relaxed back and shoulder muscles rose and fell with his steady breathing.

  Her heart swelled at the sight of him and she had to tell herself that what had happened only hours before could never be repeated. No matter how right making love to Chase had felt, she still couldn’t trust him. One foolish night could be forgiven, another would be suicidal because the closer she got to Chase, the closer she wanted to get.

  “It would be so easy to love you,” she whispered, kissing him on the forehead before lifting his arm and slowly sliding out of the bed. “Too easy. Too convenient.” And Caleb Johnson was probably banking on the fact that Dani would fall for Chase.

  Determination clenching her jaw, she pulled clean clothes from her bureau, glanced in the mirror to assure herself that Chase was still sleeping soundly, and after tying her hair back, slipped into jeans and a T-shirt.

  Then, before her wayward mind could convince her to crawl back into bed with Chase, she hurried out of the room and down the stairs. She’d just about made it to the kitchen when she saw the pile of discarded clothes lying on the floor. Her sundress and Chase’s jeans were wrinkled and piled negligently together.

  “Oh, Dani, how could you have been such a fool?” she wondered aloud, rolling her eyes to the ceiling and the room overhead where Chase was sleeping peacefully. “You can’t fall in love with him, you just can’t!” She picked up the clothes and folded them, frowning at the wrinkles in her sundress and remembering all too vividly how the soft material had been crushed.

  She hurried outside. It was early. The air was still crisp and cool and she went through her morning chores by rote, her thoughts not on feeding the cattle and horses or watering the garden, or even on petting Runt, though she managed to do all those things and more. Her mind was with the man in her room, the man she’d spent the night with: Caleb Johnson’s partner.

  Daylight made things so much clearer. “You’re doing everything imaginable to get hurt,” she chastised herself once she was inside the barn and the scent of dust and hay filled her nostrils. Her eyes adjusted to the dim interior and she looked around it lovingly. Old bridles, saddles and blankets were hung on the wall or sat on sawhorses in the corner. Huge bins of wheat and corn were still nearly overflowing, and the cattle and horses were shifting restlessly on the other side of the manger, chewing noisily, or indignantly stomping their feet or flicking their ears at the ever-present flies.

  “God, I love this place,” Dani whispered. “How can I ever give it up?” Slumping onto a broken bale of hay, she took off her gloves and set them on an old barrel where she kept her oats.

  “Regrets?” Chase’s voice was clear and loud.

  Dani nearly jumped out of her skin. Heart pounding, she looked up and saw Chase lounging against the barn door, his arms folded over his chest, the bright morning sunlight at his back. His blue eyes looked deep into hers.

  “A few, I guess,” she admitted, standing nervously and dusting her hands together.

  “I thought we got over that hurdle last night.”

  “Last night . . .” To her embarrassment she blushed. “Look, Chase, I—I’m not a prude, not really. But neither am I the type of woman who sleeps with men I barely know.”

  “You know me.”

  “That’s the problem; I don’t. I don’t know a damned thing about you! Oh, sure, I know that you own a company and you’re Caleb Johnson’s partner and you owe him a bundle of money, and he knew your mother way-back-when, but that’s about it.” All her insecurities came right to the surface. “I don’t know anything else. You could be married with a wife and six kids.”

  “I’m not married and I don’t have any children.” He pushed his hair out of his eyes and shook his head. “But you knew that, didn’t you? Certainly you know enough about me to realize that I wouldn’t be here if I had a family.”

  “What I know is that you’re here and you’re Caleb’s partner.”

  He let out a long, tired sigh.

  “Actually,” she said, leaning over the top of the manger and scratching a two-year-old heifer between the eyes. The cow jerked her head upward and Dani took her hand away, leaning on it instead. “You’re here because you’re in business with Caleb.”

  Anger pinched the corners of his mouth. “I’m in Martinville because of Caleb, yes. And I want to work the creek because of him.” He started advancing upon her. “But being here, with you, has nothing to do with Johnson. I’m here because I want to be with you; because for a reason I don’t understand, I’m compelled to be here.”

  He didn’t stop until he’d reached her and once there he placed his arms around her waist. Dani knew that she had to break free or she’d be lost to him, but when she tried to struggle, his arms tightened and he had the audacity to smile. “Tell me you didn’t want last night to happen.”

  “I didn’t.”

  He kisse
d her slowly, lazily. “Tell me you regret it.”

  Warmth began to spread throughout her body. “I—I regret it,” she whispered.

  Chase’s eyes centered on her racing pulse, visible in the hollow of her throat. “Tell me it will never happen again.”

  “It won’t . . . oh, Chase . . . please, don’t,” she said, but couldn’t help sighing against him when his hands slid under her T-shirt and splayed familiarly against the muscles of her back. She trembled at his touch and her mouth parted expectantly as he kissed her.

  “Tell me you don’t love me,” he prodded.

  “I don’t even know you.”

  The hands tightened. “Say it then.”

  “I don’t . . . I don’t love you.”

  “And you’re a liar.” His fingers began to move sensually against her skin and he lifted his head to stare into the uncertainty in her eyes.

  “Chase—” She tried to push against his chest but his next words stopped her cold.

  “I love you, Dani. It’s as simple as that. I love you and I don’t know what the hell to do about it. My instincts tell me I should run, just like yours tell you to, but I can’t.”

  She swallowed and tried to stop the thundering of her heart and her rapidly racing pulse.

  “Dani, I want you to marry me.”

  Chapter Seven

  Dani bit back the easy answer because she knew that marrying Chase would be a mistake, possibly the biggest mistake of her life.

  “This isn’t the eighteen hundreds, you know,” she said quietly. “You don’t have to make an honest woman of me just because of last night.”

  His lips thinned as he stepped nearer and touched her shoulders. “I want you to marry me,” he repeated, stroking her cheek. “I don’t have any ulterior motives and this has nothing to do with Caleb, your creek or guilt about last night.” His sky-blue gaze caressed her face. “I’m thirty-four years old and I want you for my wife. Is that so hard to believe?”