by V. St. Clair
After a moment of awkward silence in which Aleric tried to think of something to talk about with her, Susanna asked, “So…what project were you working on last night that kept you up so late?”
“A new pursuit of mine for Prisms,” he answered politely. “I’m afraid I might have bitten off a little more than I can chew with this particular topic, and I only have until the end of the year to prove to my mentor that he should continue sponsoring me on the subject or I’ll have to do it on my own, outside of school hours.”
“Oh, I see. What subject are you working on?”
Aleric frowned, choosing his words carefully so as not to sound off-putting.
“I’d love to tell you, but it’s customary to keep the topic a secret until it is further along, to ensure that no one else hears about it and beats me to the discovery.”
“Oh, yes, of course. I’m sorry for asking.” She blushed, embarrassed.
“I don’t suppose you’ve begun working on any projects for your major yet?” he turned the question back on her, struggling to find his footing in the conversation.
“Not yet, no…though my father is trying to bully the Masters into making me an apprentice as soon as possible. It’s a little embarrassing, having him interfere with things like that, just because of who he is. But I guess you probably know how that feels…?” she essayed cautiously.
Aleric gave her a small smile and said, “Indeed. My parents have been orchestrating every moment of my life for as long as I can remember,” he admitted, which seemed to relax her.
“At least you enjoy research…” she offered. “I think it sounds dead boring, only my father has determined that should I discover something brilliant before I’m allowed to give it up.” She twiddled her thumbs idly as she spoke.
“Both of our fathers seem to think that it’s easy to make groundbreaking discoveries in a field that has been worked on for centuries. This is almost certainly my last year at Mizzenwald, unless I can come up with a series of revolutionary finds that justify my staying there even longer.”
“Do you like living at school?” she asked with genuine interest. “I’d think you’d be eager to leave so you can start taking over more of the family businesses and spending time with all the important people of society.”
Aleric frowned and said, “Things are much simpler at school. I appreciate the research, the arenas, and the fact that I am relatively in control of my own schedule there. So yes, I enjoy it very much.”
Susanna seemed to consider this for a moment and then said, “My uncle works there, you know. You’ve probably had Elixirs with him at some point.”
Remembering his recent conversation with Master Kilgore about Susanna, Aleric suppressed a grimace and said, “Yes, I did. He’s a talented mage, and seems a bit more…relaxed, than your father.”
“Oh yes, he is,” she agreed enthusiastically. “He’s my favorite relative to spend time with. I wanted to go to Mizzenwald so that I could spend more time with him, but since I’m an Elixir major it would be a conflict of interest to have him teaching me, so I ended up at Valhalla instead.”
Aleric had vaguely wondered why she wasn’t going to Mizzenwald for schooling; now he knew. Another long moment of silence passed between them before Susanna added, “I know you probably aren’t happy about our arrangement.”
Surprised by the change in topic, Aleric said, “Excuse me?”
“This…engagement thing,” she clarified with a little hand-wiggle. “I know you didn’t ask for it any more than I did, and you probably look at me and see a little girl who has nothing to offer you.”
Aleric had absolutely no idea what to say to that, especially because it was mostly true. Frank turned his attention away from the window, obviously keen on hearing how the conversation would pan out.
So he can report on it to Mother, no doubt…
“It’s true that I didn’t ask for this,” Aleric began carefully, “and that I’m not terribly enthusiastic about my parents telling me who I have to marry just to further the House agenda. But as you said, you are young, and I don’t really know you well enough to say whether this will be a good thing or not, for either of us.”
“You’re really popular and good-looking, and I know you could probably get any girl you want,” she said bluntly, setting down her cup of tea and meeting his gaze directly. “My family keeps telling me how lucky I am to have this arrangement with you, and that I need to be on my best behavior all the time so that you aren’t displeased with me. But somehow, no one ever talks about what happens if I’m displeased with you.”
Aleric was stunned by this sudden starch she had dredged up, seemingly from nowhere. In truth, he hadn’t really considered the possibility that she might not like him—or really, her feelings at all—though he knew better than to say it out loud.
“That’s…a valid point,” he said instead.
“I am Susanna Kilgore, and I am important in my own right, whether or not I marry a Frost,” she said proudly, lifting her chin. “My father may think he can barter me away like cattle, but Uncle Elias says I am better than that, and I believe him. I won’t be dragged into something that will make me miserable, even if I have to abdicate my rights to the House and make my own way in the world. So you remember, Aleric Frost, while you’re looking bored and miserable for being dragged out here to talk to me, that you aren’t just sizing me up…I’m judging you just as much. If I like you, then I’ll do my best to be a good wife when the time comes, and to honor our partnership. But if I don’t like you, or if I can tell that you don’t like me, I will not be made a fool of by becoming some trophy wife for your family or mine.”
It was an impressive speech, and it actually raised Aleric’s opinion of the girl considerably. He hadn’t realized his reluctance and unhappiness with the situation had been so apparent to her, but it spoke well to her observational skills that she was able to pick up on it. In a few more years, she could be worth pursuing…
“Well, I certainly appreciate the candor,” he said honestly. “All the blushing, nervous gestures, and awkward conversation attempts only make me uncomfortable. I was wondering how anyone related to Master Kilgore could be so delicate.”
She smiled and released some of the tension from her body, obviously relieved that he hadn’t yelled at her or stormed out, despite her brave words. He wondered how many days or weeks she had been rehearsing that speech in her head.
“I’m only nervous when my father is in the room, because I still have to play his games for now. Or at least, I need him to think I am.”
Aleric could appreciate that, since it was similar to the relationship he had with his own father.
“Well, since you were honest with me, allow me to return the courtesy,” he began. “I’m almost seventeen, and you are twelve. Five years may not be a big difference when we are in our twenties, or thirties, but right now it is insurmountable for me. So yes, I look at you and see a little girl…because you are. We could spend every day together for the next year, and I would still not be attracted to you because of the difference in our maturity levels. The best that can be hoped for at this point is that perhaps I’ll find I enjoy your company, and vice versa. If we find that we can be friends for a few years, at least until the age difference becomes less noticeable, then I dare say the odds are good of us having a successful marriage. If it turns out that you are only interested in dolls and knitting, and that you are bored by everything I find interesting, then we are only wasting our time.”
Frank glanced around the room as though expecting one of Aleric’s parents to swoop down from the sky and rip his head off for speaking so candidly to someone he was supposed to be wooing. Aleric ignored him, because this was his one chance to get everything out in the open with Susanna at the beginning, so that neither of them had any false hope or expectations about this. He had been dreading this alliance ever since he heard about it, but now that they were actually discussing the forbidden truth of things, he actuall
y found himself feeling a bit more optimistic about the entire ordeal.
“I can understand that,” she allowed. “It’s good to know where I stand with you. I suppose we’ll still have to play along with our parents’ game anyway, for now…”
“Yes, we certainly won’t be able to be this candid with each other in public,” he agreed. “Though it’s refreshing to think that, for now, we are at least allies in how we view our situation. It would be easier for us to work together than separately in this.”
She graced him with a genuine smile, and it changed her features completely. He could see how she might look in a few years, beautiful and confident in herself.
Great gargoyles…maybe this could actually work someday.
It would be a miracle, but then, Asher did always call him the Golden Boy, saying that things seemed to just fall into his lap. Why not this?
“Good, now that that’s settled…why don’t we take a walk? Maybe you could show me around the estate more, seeing as how I’ll be expected to live here someday.”
Aleric agreed, and led her on a tour of the house and grounds, followed at a safe distance by Frank, who tailed them like a kite string. Aleric expected her to balk at going outside and walking around the grounds—most ladies preferred to stay indoors to keep from messing up their hair and clothes—but she surprised him again by dragging him around the entire estate. They even looked into the horse stables and she demanded to know all the different breeds and their names.
Cowen Frost was preparing to go to a business meeting, and encountered them in the stables as he was coming to have the carriage prepared for his trip. He looked shocked to see them there, with Susanna patting the horses while Aleric looked on, and spared his son a dagger-like glare after greeting their guest politely.
Susanna excused herself soon after that, asking Frank to take her to Adorina so she could say her farewells before departing. Aleric stayed in the stables with his father until Susanna and Frank were out of sight.
“Why in the world would you bring that girl into the stables?” his father asked incredulously once they were alone. “Your mother said you were supposed to be working your charms on her in the yellow parlor.”
Aleric frowned and said, “We were in the yellow parlor. Then we left.” He shrugged. “She wanted a tour of the property, as she is intended to be the lady presiding over it someday.”
His father looked slightly less upset with him now, arching an eyebrow in suspicion and asking, “And that tour included the stables?”
“She wanted to see them,” Aleric shrugged as though to say, What would you have me do?
“Hmm, well, the Kilgores always were an odd bunch,” he conceded, relaxing. “Your mother said she had to wake you at midmorning,” he switched topics abruptly, glancing at his chrono. “I had no idea you had so little to occupy yourself with at school that you could afford such luxuries.”
Aleric frowned in annoyance and said, “I can’t. I was working late into the night on my new research topic for Prisms, which you told me I needed to begin, by the way. I hadn’t intended to spend the night in my workroom.”
Ignoring the jab entirely, his father said, “Then you’ve chosen a new topic? Well then, let’s hear it.”
Wondering how this was going to go over, Aleric braced himself for the possible storm. On the bright side, if his father was on his way to a business appointment of some sort, he could only unleash his venom upon him for a few minutes.
“I’m hoping to halt the effects of memory loss.”
There, he said it.
His father’s face changed expression several times in the span of a few seconds while he absorbed this information and guessed the likely inspiration. He had an odd, arrested look on his face when he asked, “And how did you come by such an ambitious project? I understand that it is something that mages have been trying to correct for decades, with little success.”
Aleric was surprised that his father understood the weight of the workload he was taking on, and that the magical community had been making attempts at troubleshooting the problem of memory loss—especially in the elderly—for generations. Then again, perhaps he had made some inquiries of his wife, a noted mage with connections across the Nine Lands…so maybe it wasn’t so terribly surprising.
Taking a deep breath for courage, Aleric said, “I want to help you before the problem is irreversible. I figured if I could accomplish such an astronomical feat of magical discovery, you might actually relent on your avowed disdain for me and take some pride in your only son.”
Did I just say that out loud? He braced himself for impact, because that was the kind of comment that was likely to get him beaten to a pulp as a child.
His father had an odd, unpleasant look on his face, as though drinking sour milk when he said, “I do not disdain you.”
Aleric raised his eyebrows in skepticism and said, “That’s news to me, sir. Everything I do seems to be a bitter disappointment to you.” Perhaps emboldened by the courage Susanna had shown in speaking to him earlier, he continued. “I have spent my entire life trying to meet your expectations and exceed them, and all I hear about is how much you prefer my best friend, the servants, and just about anyone else you come into contact with.”
His father frowned and said, “I have higher expectations from you than from any of my other acquaintances. You are my son, and the heir to this House, and you are more important than you realize. If I thought I’d be doing you any favors by coddling you and catering to your fragile sense of self-worth, I’d fawn over you like everyone else.”
Aleric exhaled in frustration from this tired argument. It was always his fault for caring what his family thought about him, and he was done with it.
“You know I don’t expect you to treat me like a child, but a little gratitude and appreciation would go a long way,” he snapped, annoyed. “If you’re so sure that I’m a cozened little boy who can’t lead this House, then go ahead and disinherit me and find another heir. There are Frost cousins who would be thrilled to step into the role, I’m sure.”
Something in his tone must have conveyed that he was actually serious about the threat, because his father finally seemed to understand that he had gone too far.
“I do not want to disinherit you, Aleric. I’ve spent too many years developing you to throw it all away now.”
“Are you absolutely incapable of delivering a sincere compliment to me?” Aleric threw his hands into the air in frustration. “You couldn’t just leave it at you not wanting to lose me as an heir…no, you had to conditionalize it by saying that you’d have to start over with training up one of my idiot cousins! What is wrong with you?”
His father didn’t answer, and Aleric finally gave up on the man.
“You know what? I’ll save you the trouble of disinheriting me. I quit.” He exhaled heavily on the words, letting go of his anger. “I don’t want your money, or your house, or your businesses; give them all to someone else.”
He turned to walk away, and his father called out to him, sounding as close to panicked as he’d ever heard the man.
“Wait! Where do you think you are going? Who do you imagine will support you, if not I?”
“I’m going back to school. I don’t know how long I’ll stay there; as long as they’ll have me, I suppose. With a few more decent discoveries under my belt, I’ll have earned enough money to support myself…maybe not in an estate, but in my own house, at least. Tell Mother if she wants to visit, she knows where to find me.”
He was out the door and halfway across the lawn when his father caught up to him, apparently abandoning his carriage and not caring that he was going to be late for his meeting. That in itself was an enormous concession from the man, but Aleric forced himself not to be moved by it.
“Wait, damn you!” he caught up to Aleric at last, wheezing a little from the run. “I am proud of you, if you must hear me say it to believe it’s true.”
Aleric paused. It was the first t
ime he had ever heard his father say those words, and it surprised him how much they still meant to him, even as angry as he was.
“Tell me something you admire about me. Anything,” he commanded.
Frowning, his father said, “I admire many things about you. You are magically gifted in a way I will never be. You are cunning and well-connected like your mother, able to move in society in a way that I am not, due to my nature.”
Why couldn’t he have said any of this to me years ago?
“If that’s true, then why in the world have you been so hard on me all these years? Why have you let me think I’m nothing but a disappointment to you and a blight on the House?”
His father looked unaccountably unsure of himself, like he wanted to say something but wasn’t sure whether it was wise. He teetered on the brink of indecision for a few more moments, and then apparently decided that the risk of Aleric walking away from his destiny outweighed whatever consequences he was worried about.
“I had a dream about you on the night you were born,” he said at last.
This was so unexpected that Aleric’s mouth actually dropped open in shock. Not only did Cowen Frost never dream—or so he said—but he wasn’t the type to put stock in anything so ambiguous.
“You…what?” Aleric asked, not sure if he had heard correctly.
“I am not magically inclined,” his father began again. “I never have been. Once, that bothered me…made me question my own adequacy for this House. I have long since moved past those feelings.”
“Okay…” Aleric said, unsure of where this was headed.
“You know that I do not dream, but on the night you were born, I did. I am no mage, nor do I claim a gift of prophecy…but this had a powerful weight to it that I could not ignore. I have had the same dream about you on your birthday each year, a reminder of your importance to our House and to the world.”
