by Frost, Sosie
I didn’t expect miracles, but at least I had some support.
“I haven’t been a good leader, and I haven’t done shit to fix our problems.” I patted my chest. “That’s my fault. And it stops now. If you’ve got a problem, you come to me. If you’ve got questions, you come to me. If you want the puck, you better get on your goddamned knees and beg me for it, because I’m the only stupid bastard around here who will break my fucking balls to ensure this team gets a win.” My words echoed in the silence. “And I’m going to expect the same out of every last one of you.”
That, Vasha understood. He cradled his groin with a wince. “Ouch.”
“It’s gonna be hell combating an organization that banks on our misery.” I didn’t need to warn them. Their faces darkened with their own realizations. “But we can do it. No more partying. No more getting drunk. No more womanizing like a fucking teenager.” I glanced at Beau. “And apologizing when you destroy a bar in the middle of the night and cold-clock some punk ass college kid.”
Beau swore.
I was looking out for the kid. One day, he’d thank me, if he didn’t end up dead in a ditch.
But some of the speech must’ve landed. Beau didn’t argue, but that was the only good decision he made. He grabbed his bags and flipped me off, storming out of the locker room in silence.
And that was fine. I let the rookie cool off. Christ only knew how many hours he had before the news broke, and the league would crawl up his ass.
The rest of the guys were quiet, insulted, but they didn’t challenge me. Every man wearing the frosted blue jersey understood exactly why he had been drafted to the team.
They’d fucked up.
And hearing it out loud only confirmed their worst fears.
“So, this is where we stand,” I said. “I’ll do everything in my power to make this team a success. You either join me, or you get the fuck out of my locker room.”
I ripped off my pads, grabbed my towel, and escaped to the showers.
The water scolded me, but that was the good thing about the new arena. The water pressure was astronomical. Allowed a man to scour his body, scrape off his remaining doubts and insecurities.
The heat blistered through me. I turned on the extra showers to add a louder hiss of white noise.
After ten minutes, the last player left the locker room.
I stayed under the heat.
Not like I had anywhere to go.
Not like I had anything to do.
Not like I owed anyone any answers.
Only myself.
And that misery rested solely on my shoulders.
It took a near career-ending injury to unfuck my priorities.
I should’ve listened to Clover. Especially when she’d refused to say the words we desperately needed to hear.
I promised the team an opportunity for a real future, but what had I really learned?
I denied myself the potential for my own beautiful life.
For so long, I’d lied, convinced myself I wanted the baby with Clover just to give her what she wanted. But it had been my idea to start the family. That was the real future I wanted. A future together.
Clover’s love terrified me more than any injury, but I had no idea how to survive without her. Losing her was like losing my ability to skate, shoot, breathe.
Maybe I couldn’t give her exactly what she wanted, but I could spend a lifetime giving her everything else she’d need.
And then maybe all of life’s other challenges wouldn’t feel so goddamned insurmountable. As long as we had each other, I’d have the strength to do what the twenty-three men on the Ironfield Forge demanded of me.
I turned off the water and embraced the silence.
And pretended I hadn’t already made the easiest decision of my life.
24
Clover
My last official flight was a red eye from San Francisco to Ironfield.
The same route where I’d propositioned Adrian with his own forgotten proposal.
It promised to be a quiet flight—only forty passengers, and most would fall asleep as soon as we hit cruising altitude.
I waited for the relief to wash over me.
No more scarves. No more overhead compartment duels to the death.
No more pretzels.
It was my last trip. And then I was free to force the meat-headed hockey captain to hear my greatest proposition yet.
I was in love with him. We were having a baby.
And if we didn’t want to ruin our futures, we needed to spend the rest of our lives together.
My phone vibrated from my pocket. Technically, I wasn’t allowed to answer my cell this close to take-off. But…what were they going to do? Fire me?
Ha.
I’d already said my goodbyes, forwarded my paycheck, and cashed out my bonus miles.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t Adrian on the other end. A frantic Magnolia Mallory hissed in panic instead.
“Please tell me Adrian is with you,” she pleaded.
Magnolia didn’t give me time to answer. She spoke fast, her voice muffled as she cradled the phone on her shoulder, gulped her coffee, and clattered around her office.
The crash of falling books and knick-knacks was nothing compared to her profanity. The final crunch sounded an awful lot like her laptop striking the ground.
“Tell me you two crazy kids got married, ran away, and you’re on a honeymoon right now,” she said.
“Close.” I stepped aside as the other flight attendants helped to load luggage overhead. “I’m pregnant, the baby’s father doesn’t realize that he’s fertile, and I am about to serve refreshments to a couple who is returning from their honeymoon.”
“You’re kidding.”
The newlyweds had been sun-burnt to a crisp, and they bickered over the last bit of their aloe vera lotion. The woman played dirty and peeled a chunk of skin off her husband’s arm. He winced and dropped the bottle.
“I don’t see them lasting more than two years,” I said.
“Adrian isn’t with you?”
“I’m at work, Mags.” I checked my watch. “And I have about thirty seconds before I need to get these passengers seated and in the air.”
“Oh, this isn’t good.”
“It’s Adrian. Training camp. Did you check the locker room? It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s sleeping in the players’ lounge.”
“Already searched there.” Magnolia quieted. “Adrian didn’t show up to training camp at all today.”
At least this queasiness wasn’t caused by morning sickness. I clutched my tummy. So much for making it a full workday without throwing up on a plane.
“Are you sure?” I asked.
“He didn’t show. And he didn’t call either. The coaches don’t know what happened, and the team is as confused as me. Apparently, he had just rallied the team—gave them some sort of ultimatum or encouragement or something. And it worked. The guys today—they came ready to work. Then suddenly, their captain went AWOL.”
I didn’t like the sound of that. The plane roared to life as the last of the passengers funneled through the aisle. I willed them to move faster. I couldn’t do anything for Adrian if I was stuck in San Francisco.
“Did someone try calling him?” I plugged a finger in my ears and tried to hear.
“Everyone,” she said. “He’s not answering. Sports Nation is about to run the story tonight. Adrian Alaric, Captain of the Ironfield Forge, refuses to attend training camp. This is going to look horrible for him and the team. Clover, do you have any idea where he might be?”
A dozen different situations pummeled my brain. None of them good. Adrian missing a practice? The man lived for the ice. Breathed it. Sacrificed his body for it.
He only missed practices or games when the doctors ordered it—or when he was unconscious on a surgical table.
And that thought destroyed me.
Adrian wasn’t the type of man, captain, or leader to shirk his respons
ibilities and abandon his team.
Something must have happened.
Something terrible.
I swallowed pure bile. Screw the scarf. I ripped the cloth from my neck, pitching it onto the floor.
“I’m across the country right now,” I said. “The flight’s about to leave, and I can be there in five hours—”
I turned and nearly dropped the phone.
Adrian Alaric stood beside his seat in First Class, grinning a goofy, I just played hooky and got caught smile. He had no luggage. No carry-on. I was surprised he even had a ticket.
He thrust his hands in his pockets and shrugged.
Oh, he was in so much trouble.
“Mags…” I took a deep breath. “Nothing to worry about. Adrian will be a training camp tomorrow.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I’m going to deliver him there personally.” I couldn’t tear my eyes from him. “Right after we celebrate the good news.”
I ended the call but caught the attention of my fellow flight crew. Gladys was a grizzled veteran but a romantic at heart. She cast a glance toward Adrian, and she threatened to run me over with the drink cart if I didn’t take the empty seat next to him.
“Is he why you’re quitting?” She peeked through her fringed bangs to get a better look at the athlete.
“He is.” I let her in on a little secret. “Well, him…and the baby.”
“Finally!” Gladys shoved me down the aisle. “And here we thought you switched airlines! Wait until the girls hear that you found yourself a man! We never thought you’d settle down—I’m so happy for you. Consider yourself officially off-duty.”
That was all the courage I needed.
Adrian had saved me a seat in First Class—ticket and all. I kicked off my heels before sitting.
“I heard you played hooky today,” I said.
The dark flint in his eyes struck hard, brightening with a spark of pure mischief. He must’ve been traveling all day just to reach San Francisco in time for my flight. His beard went untrimmed, and his black T-shirt had wrinkled in the few places which weren’t stretched taut over his muscles.
He looked tired. Resolved. Utterly remorseful.
“I think you’ll forgive me for skipping training camp today…” Adrian’s eyes danced as he studied my face. “I have a proposition for you.”
A lovely excitement swelled within me. I grinned.
“Yes.”
Adrian tilted his head. “I didn’t tell you the proposition yet.”
“Doesn’t matter. The answer’s yes.”
“How do you know I’m not asking you to do something awful?”
“Then you better be careful about what you ask me. I will say yes to anything you suggest right now.”
His dirty mind rivaled mine. “That could be very dangerous for you.”
“The riskier the better,” I said.
He picked his words carefully. “What if you hate what I’m about to suggest?”
Impossible. “I trust you.”
“And if I lead you astray?”
“How can I get lost if I’m at your side?”
Adrian rubbed his chin, if only to hide his smile. “What if I plan to take advantage of you?”
“I liked it the first time…and the second…and the third…”
His deep, rumbly laugh untwisted the knot of confusion and worry in my stomach. It was everything I needed, soothing the apprehension and calamity that had plagued this whole week.
“What if I ask you to marry me?” He whispered the words, a beautiful secret for just the two of us.
I didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“You should let me talk.”
“Why? The answer is yes.”
“But you’re not even listening.”
I grinned. “Adrian Alaric, we’ve been together for twenty-five years, ever since we were kids. I’ve already figured out everything there is to know about you. What you’re thinking. What you’re feeling. What you want.”
“If you knew all the answers, where were you last week when I had no idea what the hell I was doing?”
I hated that he’d been so lost. “Well, I was panicking.”
“Why?”
“Because for as well as I know you, I don’t know myself at all.”
“Got a fix for that.” His voice darkened like rich cholate, and he teased me with promise. “I’ve learned a couple things about you over the years.”
My turn to grin. “Oh, I have my secrets yet.”
“Well, if there are any surprises left, I can’t wait to find them out.” Adrian reached for me, brushing his hand against my cheek. “I love you, Clover.”
It was every bit as lovely hearing it as it was imagining it.
“Say it again,” I said. It might’ve been a command. Might’ve been me begging. At least, with Adrian, it didn’t matter.
“I love you—even though we shouldn’t be this foolish. It’s a bad idea. Stupid and reckless.”
I scrunched my nose. “That’s one hell of a proposition, but you should’ve stopped at the will you marry me part.”
“I wanted to protect our friendship. I wanted to protect you.”
“You always did.”
“I tried to push you away.”
“Why?”
The crinkles in the corner of his eyes returned, and a new set of worry wrinkles burrowed in his forehead. That wouldn’t do. This man had no reason to fear my love for him. It was real. Solid.
He was everything I’d ever wanted in life, and it’d been right in front of me the entire time.
“I thought it was the honorable thing to do,” he said. “If I couldn’t give you what you needed, I couldn’t stand in the way of you finding it with someone else.”
“Adrian—”
“But I want to be that man.” He quieted as the plane’s lights dimmed and we prepared for takeoff. “I want to be the one who gives you everything you could desire. I want to be the man who shares your bed, your life, your perfect future.” He took my hand, kissing my fingers. “And I know, right now, it doesn’t look like that will happen. But I’m in love with you. I want to marry you. I want to give you that happiness.”
He made it too easy.
I snuggled closer to him. “So marry me. What are you waiting for?”
“A baby.”
“Adrian—”
“It’s what we both want,” he said. “And I’m not done trying yet. Forget what I said before. We’ll try it all. Doctors and fertility drugs. Adoption. I won’t stop until we have a baby—until we are a family.”
I pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him with a smile. “Can I just say yes now?”
“Are you sure you mean it?”
“It’s about time you make an honest woman out of me.”
He hesitated, confused. “What are you talking about?”
My big surprise would be a hell of a lot better than him skipping work and flying across the country to slip into my passenger list.
“If you had answered your phone this week, you would’ve already known…” I said.
“Known what?”
I tisked. “And to think. All that celebratory sex we didn’t have.”
“Clover.”
“I’ve been dying to tell you, but you’ve been interrupting me, concocting these beautiful marriage proposals that I don’t even need. Not when all you had to do was ask.”
Adrian’s eyes widened. “Clover, are you…”
“Pregnant?” For the first time since the damned little stick revealed the truth, I bumbled with pure excitement. “Yes.”
Good thing we were sitting down, though I should’ve buckled him in for this conversation. Adrian gripped the armrests, and I hoped he wouldn’t need the oxygen mask before he could celebrate.
I took his hand. “I’d planned to surprise you tonight. I wanted to land in Ironfield, drive straight to your house, and pound on your door until you let me inside.”
&
nbsp; The shock overwhelmed him. He blinked, but the words didn’t come.
That was fine. I had enough for both of us.
“You asked me a long time ago why I never had any boyfriends, any interest in romance, any flings or secret liaisons. It’s because there was no one else out there for me. I knew, deep down, even when I refused to admit it to myself—you were the man for me. I only wish I realized it sooner.”
Adrian stared at me, his words the softest part of him. “I’ve always loved you.”
The confession delighted me even though I’d known it all along.
“And now we’re having a baby.” I leaned in for a kiss but denied him just as his lips pressed against mine. “Right when you abandoned your team.”
Adrian winced and pulled away. “I didn’t abandon them.”
“Then why are you in San Francisco instead of Ironfield?”
“Wanted to find you.”
“I have a phone.”
“Couldn’t miss our last opportunity to meet in the air.”
I rolled my eyes. “You hate meeting in the air.”
“Some things can’t wait.”
And while it was all terribly romantic, it spelled serious trouble for him when he returned.
“What about the Forge?” I asked.
“Let’s just say, I have a different set of priorities now.” He kissed me again, relieving my fears with a dashing smile. “You were right. I focused too much on the team. And you know why?”
“Because you’re an obsessive, meat-headed athlete?”
“Because I was too afraid to admit that I had two loves in my life. The game…and you. But things will change now.” His excitement, his enthusiasm, it was something new. I hadn’t seen it since before he joined the Forge—since before the accident. “I’m gonna have it all.”
“Have what?”
“Everything. The career. The family. You.” His words rumbled deep in my tummy. “You’ve given me a new life, Clover…and I’m going to spend every second rewarding you and our baby with all the happiness in the world.”
“There’s only one thing I need, Adrian Alaric.”
“What’s that?”
I sealed our confessions with a tender kiss.
“You.”
Epilogue
