“For the Mother,” Ivy echoed.
Keeper Marie stopped at the door and turned her head to the side. “Farmer Ripley?”
“Yeah, for the Mother,” she muttered.
Keeper Marie sighed and closed the door behind her. Steph dropped down onto her bed and turned toward the wall.
I should have tried to talk to her, but I knew she’d just push me away. It would have to wait. I needed the others to fall asleep, so I could sneak out.
I laid down and stared at the ceiling. My body was tired, but I wasn’t worried I’d fall asleep. I was too excited. The feeling bubbling through me reminded me of when I was a child in the City waiting for my birthday.
The excitement and the anticipation of waiting to open the gift from my mom and dad curled my lips even after all this time. I barely remembered my dad. He’d died when I was young… eight, maybe nine. Birthdays weren’t as exciting when my stepdad came into the picture.
Birthdays didn’t happen at all on the farm. The only thing that was celebrated was hard work, and the gift for that was a parade of celebrities or whatever they were from the City marching through the farms. As if that would somehow make us happy. Well, for some, it did. I was never impressed.
Knowing my exact age wasn’t really possible. I’d guessed as the years passed, but with how little things changed from season to season, it wasn’t easy. My age of twenty-five was merely an estimation.
My heart raced as I sneaked along the familiar path to Watcher Brody’s house. I bit down on my lip the entire time to stop myself from smiling. I shouldn’t be happy. Nothing about what I was doing was smart. It was a risk. Dangerous.
I hid in the shadows, waiting for the courage to go to his door. It was a quiet night. The only sounds were those coming from the insects and small critters flittering about.
I sucked in a breath and bravely walked to his front door as if I belonged there. Nervously, I wiped my hands on my smock before raising my fist to lightly knock on his door.
It didn’t take long before I could hear him moving around inside. My heart pounded. I suddenly became very aware of the sweat beading up on the back of my neck.
The door opened, and my mouth dried. I felt lost in his dark eyes, not knowing what to do or say.
Watcher Brody pulled me into the house and closed the door. He locked it and stomped over to the front window.
“What the hell are you doing here?” he roared, balling his hands into tight fists.
“I’m sorry,” I said, biting down on my cheek to stop myself from crying.
I didn’t know what it was, but just being with him made me feel safe. I should have been afraid of him, but I wasn’t.
Watcher Brody charged toward me. I jerked slightly as his arms came toward me.
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me. “How do you not know that by now?”
“I’ve been to the torture room recently,” I said, hugging him back. I pressed my face to his chest and inhaled his masculine, powdery scent.
“Oh,” he said, letting his arms fall away as he took a step back. “I didn’t know. Did I hurt you?”
I chuckled. “No, you weren’t the one to hurt me. It was Godfrey and his new goons.”
“Shh,” Watcher Brody said, tapping his finger to his lips. He gestured at a chair in his living room. “Come in.”
“You’re going to let me stay?” I asked.
“For a bit,” Watcher Brody said, peeking out between the curtains. He dimmed the lights. “I’ve been so worried about you. Seems as though not much has changed while I was away.”
I sighed, placing my hands in my lap. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, mostly,” Watcher Brody said, turning to me. “Can I get you something? Maybe some water? Or tea? No, that will take too long.”
“Water would be great,” I said, still feeling the dryness in the back of my throat.
Watcher Brody went to his kitchen and poured water into two small cups. He handed one to me and sat down in the chair by the end table.
“You shouldn’t have come here,” Watcher Brody said.
“I know,” I replied, putting the cup to my lips.
I closed my eyes as the cool liquid slipped into my mouth and slid down my throat. I could feel it as it moved down into my stomach. It was a mild, sickening feeling as the water hit my empty stomach.
“I had to talk to you… to make sure you were okay after what happened,” I said.
“They’re probably watching me,” Watcher Brody said, looking down at his cup. “But I’m really happy to see you. It was so hard not to talk to you when I saw you working today.”
“I know the feeling,” I said.
Watcher Brody set down his cup and clasped his hands together. “I’m untrustworthy. That’s what I’ve been told. They sent me back for more training, more praying, rehabilitation.” Watcher Brody sighed. “Brainwashing.”
“Did it work?” I asked with a small smile.
He smiled back. “What do you think?”
“I wasn’t sure if I’d ever see you again,” I said, squeezing the cup so hard I thought it might snap. What was I saying? What was I feeling? Nothing made sense.
“Commander Godfrey isn’t happy with me. I haven’t been back long, and he reminds me of that every chance he gets,” Watcher Brody said. “It’s like I’m back to square one around here.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, squeezing my eyes shut. It was my fault he’d gotten in trouble. “I shouldn’t have come to you that night, but I didn’t know where else to turn.”
Watcher Brody looked at me. He stared into my eyes for a long moment. “I’m glad you came to me. I’ll always be here for you.”
“I still don’t understand why,” I said. “I don’t deserve this from you or anyone.”
“I’ve explained all this. It’s not something I can control. I feel how I feel,” Watcher Brody said, picking up his cup. He swallowed down the rest of the water and set it back down. “I wish things could be different. I wish you could stay here.”
Did I want that too? What about Hawk? What about leaving with him and going back to the Capital?
“I think I saw my brother during the parade.” Desperation to change the subject caused the words to flood out of my mouth. “I called out his name, but he didn’t answer.”
Watcher Brody’s eyes darkened with fear. Fear for me. “Cory,” he swallowed, “you can’t do that.”
13
I stood, crossing my arms as I paced. “No one will understand, but I need to know what happened to them. I want to make sure they’re okay. Their lives were changed because of my actions.”
“You shouldn’t blame yourself,” Watcher Brody said.
“Yes I should! I’m the one to blame for everything that happened to my family,” I said, throwing my hands into the air. “It’s the reason I’m here in this awful place. Do you even know what—”
“I know,” Watcher Brody said, holding up his palm, “I’ve read all about it.”
I frowned. “Then how can you say I need to stop blaming myself?”
“I say it because I read what happened and because I know you,” Watcher Brody said. “You can’t be the one to find out what happens to them. If you get caught even thinking about it, you’ll get whipped. Actually, it’ll probably be something far worse.”
“I don’t care. I’ll do whatever I have to,” I said. “They are my family. The only family I have. The people I live with now aren’t my sisters, no matter what anyone says. I care about them, but it’s not the same.”
I turned my back to him. The floor creaked as he stepped closer.
My head twisted until I could see him out of the corner of my eye. “Do you know anything about them?”
“No,” Watcher Brody said softly. He couldn’t have been standing more than a few inches from behind me. “I wish I did.”
“Will you help me?” I asked, spinning on my heel to face him. My breaths came at m
e fast. I was sure he could see the desperation in my eyes. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that.”
“I’ll do it,” Watcher Brody replied.
I grabbed his shoulders. “No, you can’t. I don’t want you to get in any kind of trouble.”
“I won’t,” he said. “I’ll do some digging and see what I can find out. It’ll take me some time, so be patient.”
“I’m not good at being patient,” I said as my eyes focused on the middle of his chest. I wouldn’t ever get used to being close to a Watcher and not getting hit.
Waiting was really my only option. Unless, of course, Watcher Jones came through and got Hawk and me to the Capital. If that happened, though, I wouldn’t need Watcher Brody to find out about them, I could do it myself.
Watcher Brody reached toward me, and I jerked slightly. He brushed a strand of hair away from my eye.
“I hate that you react to me like that,” Watcher Brody said.
“It’s not you,” I said, feeling my breath getting caught in my throat. “It’s your uniform and your title.”
“There is no way I could ever hurt you,” Watcher Brody said.
I shook my head. “That’s not true. Commander Godfrey could have you in the torture room with me. You wouldn’t be able to say no to him.”
“I would,” Watcher Brody said defiantly.
“You won’t. And you shouldn’t,” I said. “He wouldn’t hesitate to ruin you if you did that. If we are ever in the position, do what you have to do, okay?”
Watcher Brody turned away from me. “Never. I couldn’t. I won’t. I don’t even care what happens to me.”
“I’d still get whipped, and he’d hang you,” I said, pressing my lips together. “I can handle it.” I stepped in front of him, pulling the smock down over my shoulder to show him my scars. “Look at me. I can take it, okay.”
He placed his hand over mine and slowly slid the fabric over my shoulder. I could feel his warm breath as it danced across my skin.
“Let’s just hope we’re never in that position,” Watcher Brody said. He sighed and glanced toward the door. “You should go. It’s not safe for you to be here.”
“Just a few more minutes?” I asked. It would be hard to walk away from him.
Even though I couldn’t remember it, we were old friends, and every minute with him was peaceful. And oddly intense.
He pulled me into his arms and held me. Again, I inhaled, committing his scent to memory.
After several minutes, he cleared his throat.
“They’re probably watching me,” Watcher Brody said.
He looked down into my eyes without pulling away. My heart raced as my hand slid up his solid chest.
It was forbidden to look into a Watcher’s eyes. It was forbidden to be near one… touching one. We’d both be killed if we’d be caught together in an embrace.
Betrayal. The Mother would punish everyone.
My mouth dried as I stared into his eyes. I wasn’t entirely sure what I saw, but I could feel the warmth and kindness in them.
His gaze shifted down to my mouth. Through my fingertips, I could feel his heart beating.
Our bodies pressed together… in the heat.
Forbidden.
Forbidden.
Forbidden.
I sucked in a breath and stepped back from him. For a split second, it felt as though I wasn’t getting enough oxygen.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” I said, parting my lips in an effort to control my breathing. Inhaling through my nose and slowly out between my lips.
He smiled. “I’m glad you’re okay too.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to find my own smile for him, but the instant I saw his arm, I couldn’t. He’d been branded again—another tally mark against him.
I lightly touched the skin just below the still red mark. “Again?”
He nodded.
Worry filled my stomach. The overwhelming acidic sourness swirling violently deep inside me made me feel dizzy.
“Is it infected?” I asked, squinting at it in the dim lighting.
“I’m fine,” Watcher Brody said, covering the mark with his hand and moving his arm out of my sight. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
“But I thought—”
“There are many other Watchers here with farm more markings than I have. I’ll be okay. I promise.” He walked over to the window and peeked out between the curtains. “If they hadn’t brought me back, then there would be something to worry about.”
My eyes squeezed together as I forced myself to swallow the rising sourness. “This time, you’re back. Next time things might be different. They’ll demote you.”
“I’ll just have to make sure there isn’t a next time. Really though, they don’t do that anymore, not with the shortage of men willing to join the Watchers.”
“What shortage? Commander Godfrey was training new Watchers just the other day,” I said.
“That’s it. There are no others waiting,” Watcher Brody said. “At least, not as of right now. No one wants to leave paradise to come here even if it pleases the Mother.”
Watcher Brody didn’t try to hide the smirk that appeared on his face.
“What,” I asked, narrowing my eyes.
“I think I like that you’re this worried about me,” he said, cocking his head to the side.
The look faded nearly almost as quickly as it had appeared. He had a far off look in his eyes as if he’d remembered something.
Maybe he remembered that night he’d seen me with Hawk. Coldness filled his eyes and radiated from him.
“Anyway, it’s time for you to go,” Watcher Brody said.
“Okay,” I said, walking to the door with my head down.
If I looked into his eyes again, I might be tempted to beg him to let me stay longer. I didn’t want to beg. And I didn’t want either of us to get in trouble. He wasn’t wrong… it was time for me to go.
“There isn’t anyone out there,” Watcher Brody said.
My head bobbed, and I reached for the doorknob. I inhaled deeply, trying to hold on to the feeling of being in his home—the only place on the farm where I was able to forget about everything.
“Wait,” Watcher Brody said. He dashed to the kitchen, grabbed something, and tossed it to me. I caught it and looked down at the fig in my palm. “Take it.”
I found a smile and gave it to him. His lips curled, and my entire body ignited. I ignored the feeling bubbling inside me and turned away.
“Don’t come here again,” he said. “I’ll find a way to contact you when it’s safe.”
My hand twisted the knob and I slipped out of his house. I quickly found the shadows and bit into the fig.
It was hard to walk away from his place back to the shitty cabin. He’d probably never contact me again. Watcher Brody had probably only told me he’d try to learn more about my family to get rid of me faster.
Why did he have to be so hard to read? Hot and cold. One minute he’s hugging me, and then the next, he’s kicking me out.
The fig, though, was so damn good. Sneaking to his place had been worth it not only to see he was okay but also to get the fig.
Ivy and Steph would remind me how lucky I was. It wasn’t like anyone else on the farms would get a fig from a Watcher… or from anyone for that matter.
I wasn’t anxious to get back inside the stuffy cabin with Steph and Ivy. At least at Watcher Brody’s house, I could pretend I was free, even though, really, I was probably less free there. It was the feeling of being with him, locked inside his lovely house, that I craved.
I sneaked around the shadows, taking my time. My fingers had been licked clean but were still a bit sticky.
I didn’t know when or if I should tell Watcher Brody that I was planning to leave the farms, eventually. What would he think when one day I was just gone? He’d probably think I was dead.
But also, I couldn’t risk telling him about the revolution. I trusted him, but Watcher Jones
must not have, or he’d already know about the operation. Maybe Watcher Brody wasn’t as trustworthy as I thought. If he knew about it, he would have told me himself.
The sounds of several feet scratching against the pebbles on the path brought me out of my thoughts. It wasn’t just one person coming my way… it was several.
The shadows stretched across the ground from the lights behind them. I could tell by their deep, confident voices, they were Watchers.
There was nowhere around to hide. I backtracked as quietly as I could toward the last cabin I’d passed.
Each step I took was careful but not entirely soundless. I hoped they wouldn’t hear me, or if they did, they’d think it was a critter scurrying away from them.
I pressed my back against the side of the building. The group stopped at the lights less than ten feet away.
“It’s important to be very thorough at night.” The voice was instantly recognizable.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t even breathe. Commander Godfrey was only a few feet from where I stood.
14
Commander Godfrey stood with his hands on his hips and his shoulders back. He wanted them to see how big and powerful he was. It seemed as though he wanted them to think of him as a king.
“Keep both your eyes and ears open at night,” Commander Godfrey said. “There was a time when farmers would sneak out at night and try to hide in the trees. Now that they're gone, and they don’t know it, it’ll be easy to catch those little fuckers sneaking around.”
The Watchers looked at one another and shared a laugh at his choice of words. They seemed fascinated with Commander Godfrey, as though they thought of him as a celebrity. Maybe in the Capital, he was regarded as such. Perhaps all the Commanders were.
I’d never seen much of the other Commanders. Each of them had their own area of the farms to control. They all reported to the Admiral who didn’t live on the farms.
“The sinners will be trying to find a new place to hide out,” Commander Godfrey said. “And it’s our job to find them and punish them. That is how we put them on the right path to finding forgiveness from the Mother. It’s how the curse will one day be lifted.”
After The Fires | Book 2 | The Trials Ahead Page 7
