“I quit years ago.”
“No, I mean smoke.” He narrowed his eyes and grimaced slightly.
Ah. “Not for longer than I care to remember, but it doesn’t offend me.”
He took my hand and led me outside. The bitter air was a relief.
“Will you be warm enough?”
“Yes.” I pulled up the collar of my jacket and zipped it up.
At a bench table at the far end of the patio, we sat away from the smokers, and Will sparked up.
Something was comforting and yet dangerous about him. I needed danger and risk. Part of me needed everything I hadn’t experienced, and I had the feeling he could be it.
He took a few drags and passed it over. The familiar cut of tobacco and the weed took me back to my teens. I coughed a little at the burn.
“It’s good stuff. A mellow strain.”
It was nice, the light buzz already dancing in my head. I exhaled a lungful, relaxed and looked up at the clear inky sky.
“So, Amelia, how is it you have a grown kid and divorced before most people have even been married?”
I passed the joint back without looking away from the sky. “I met him at school. I was sixteen. You know I don’t remember him. Apparently we had maths together, but,” I shrugged, “so I started at sixth-form, and were in the same form group. I was going to go to uni and do history and linguistics. He was my first love. Inseparable.” I shifted to look at him. “When I was applying to uni and getting excited about going, he became unhappy. His A-levels weren’t going great, and mine were. Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell me to break up with him, but then I wouldn’t have Ceeli.”
I chewed the inside of my cheek, and Will sat closer when I shivered. I took the joint.
“Three months from my eighteenth birthday, I found out I was pregnant. I’d been so kind to him because I felt bad. I didn’t go to uni, we got a flat, he got a job. It was hard. We got married when I was nineteen. It wasn’t a bad life, just not what I wanted for myself. And I loved him then. It’s easy to look back now and see the other stuff, but then… I was happy, and I loved my baby. It wasn’t perfect, but life isn’t.
“What gets me is that he corralled me into this existence, but he betrayed me. He took away the opportunities I had and left me with nothing. I had to fight for it, and Ceeli took his side when I was her parent, and he was always working.” My face contorted, and I covered my eyes.
Will put his arm around me and kissed my hair. “I’m sorry.”
“I never realised how alone I was. When she left for uni, I tried hobbies and different things, but there was just this emptiness. I knew I didn’t love him anymore and hadn’t for a long time. I didn’t consider leaving or anything. Then I found out he had a girlfriend for years, and ten months ago, I set myself free.”
Will shook his head. “That’s…”
“It is.” I took the last of the joint from his hand and inhaled deeply.
“You know what you need?”
“What’s that, because you know I need men telling me what I need,” I said in an exhale.
He grinned, and there were those dimples. “A second youth. Do all the rebellious shit you never got to do, but now you can do it with wisdom and experience on your side.” He took the butt from my fingers and leant forward with a glint in his eye. Could have been the streetlights.
I tilted my head as he took the last burning draw on the joint and put it out, glancing around.
“And I’m sure you’re just the guy to help me. How altruistic of you.” I tasted my mouth and didn’t like it.
“I like to think I can serve my fellow humans.” He took out a pack of mints and offered me one.
I laughed. Part of me knew he was right. I wanted to cut loose.
We were quiet for a minute as we popped our mints.
“Look, I’m actually serious.”
“I also have a business to run.”
“Same. But what’s the point if you don’t get to live? We just grind and reach higher, but what for? Don’t we do this for a better life and the illusion of security?”
“What exactly are you proposing?”
“Not fuckbuddies or anything, and not a relationship. Just date. You want to go out for dinner or cinema? I’d like that. Company. Intimacy? I’d like that. We’re both busy, and I don’t have much free time for a relationship. This is the first night out I’ve had since Christmas.”
I huddled into my coat. “My fear is that we do this, and I develop feelings. I’m not sure I can casually date. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t have many friends yet, so company would be good for me, but this would be a risk.” I started dithering.
“Cold?”
“It’s February, of course I’m cold.”
He put his arm around me. My buzz had mellowed the tension in my shoulders and back.
“I bet there’s so much you haven’t done, things you want to know about yourself and who you are.”
“Are you going to give them to me?”
“If you ask.” He looked into my eyes.
His free hand rested on my thigh. My heart dipped and thudded, and in the cold air, I felt his warmth, so I leant in.
“What haven’t you done? What can I give you?” His lips brushed my cheek as he dropped a kiss, and then crept to under my ear. His hand massaged my thigh. I wanted to moan. Maybe it was the buzz, maybe it was the sweetness of him, or maybe I just needed a good fuck.
“Touch me.” I felt reckless. I needed something new, alive, I needed to feel something.
He hummed and nipped the skin below my ear. I opened my legs a little, and he worked up my dress, found the top of my tights and dipped his hand inside. The calloused texture of his skin was rough against mine, his hands cold, and I wanted to get drawn in.
PLEASURE
Will pressed a slow kiss to my neck, and I barely drew breath. “There are people over there, so you best stay quiet.”
I trusted him and let my legs fall open as he ran his hand down. I couldn’t believe I was letting a man touch me. The second man to ever touch me.
“What?” He paused.
I leant in to kiss him, a light press, and he smiled, our lips hardly touched, and he resumed. He ran his fingers down my hair, and I was relieved I’d trimmed, and he smirked as he explored the confined space inside my underwear.
“I’m going to put two fingers inside you.”
I focused on my breathing, heart turning as he ran his fingers over me.
“Please.”
He slid those two roughened fingers inside agonisingly slowly.
“You’re so wet already.” He licked his lips.
The arm around my shoulders held me tighter as my head fell back.
“I’m not going to finger fuck you. I’m going to give you the best massage of your life.”
I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning.
“Ready?”
“Yes.”
With that, he pressed the tips of his fingers forward onto the wall of my vagina, not hard but firm. The heel of his hand pressed against my clit, and he went still, kissing my neck. Where he pressed, he gently worked it like a tender muscle. The movement rubbed my clit too, and I shook. Tension, pleasure, and a deeply previously unknown relief of being touched there fired through my mind in a silent breathy tumult.
“Feel good?”
I nodded.
“Say it.”
“So good please.”
He laughed softly, working the spot in circles, and it didn’t take long, I squeezed my thighs together until he told me to relax, his voice in my ear making me shiver, and I pressed my face into his hair when he leant back. It smelt great, almost like cinnamon.
Will worked me steadily, paced and measured, the intense build of pleasure unlike anything else.
“Fuck.”
“Don’t reach. Stay nice and quiet and relaxed. Experience the pleasure with your
buzz. Feel it, enjoy it.”
I relaxed again but couldn’t hold back. The first roll of orgasm took my breath. Keenly aware of his fingers in me, of how my body took over, I struggled for control. I came harder than I’d ever come, silent, shaking, in a long-drawn spiral of pleasure.
Panting, I slumped, coming back to myself. I licked my lips and looked at him. He smirked, searching my face. “You have the strongest pussy muscles I’ve ever encountered.”
I laughed, high from my orgasm, the joint and him. I floated.
He moved his fingers in and out a few times and moaned before extracting his hand. I watched him put his fingers in his mouth and suck them clean.
When he licked his lips, looking at his fingers, I wanted him to take me right there on the table, witnesses be damned.
“You want to get out of here?” He looked drugged, and I didn’t want to know how much of a state I was in.
“Yes.”
He adjusted himself, and I couldn’t look away from it.
“Come on.” He pressed a kiss to my lips and helped me up. As we went inside, the warmth and beat hit me like a wall, and I saw Adam snogging the woman as if the world was ending.
I stopped.
“Well, about time.”
“Hmm?”
“He’s been lonely and miserable, so I dragged him out.” Will turned to me, his perfect dimpled grin fading. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
He grabbed me, holding me close. “Tell me.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been kissed like that.”
“That can be remedied.”
Taking my hand, he led me out, and we took a cab to his.
“This okay?” he asked as we reached his house.
“Yes.”
EXPERIENCE
His house was detached, and in the middle of a refurb, it was cold and bare, but habitable.
A cantankerous creature that was more fluff than body, and was what I assumed to be a cat, ambled over making some strange ungodly noise. It had one eye with a vicious scowl. Do cats scowl?
“This is Fluffikins.”
“Shut up.”
He laughed. “No, I named him that as a joke, but it stuck. He came with the house and wouldn’t leave. He was feral and very anti-social. I took him in. We have a truce, I feed him, and he doesn’t piss on everything.”
The ‘cat’ almost purred, but it sounded more like a blocked drain, and Will bent down to scratch behind its ear, then it wandered off.
In the silence, he looked a little awkward.
“I can go if you’d prefer.”
“No, I mean, if you want to go, I understand, but I was just debating if I should kiss you here or in bed.”
I took my coat off and hung it on the bannister as there was nowhere else.
“Bed.”
He mouthed the word and grabbed my hand. “Do you need anything first?”
“Bathroom?”
He led me up. The room was sort of done with a new suite was in, and the room was bare plaster.
I washed up and used some mouthwash, took a few deep breaths and went out. The landing, bare brick and no electrics, was cold and to the left was an open door to a light-filled room.
He casually leant on the doorframe.
“I love what you’ve done with the place.”
“It’ll get there.”
“I’m sure it will.”
He pulled me flush to his body and pressed me against the wall. “Ask me to kiss you.”
I raised my chin. “Kiss me.”
He softly pressed his lips to mine, and I opened my mouth, clutching him tighter. The moment drew out, and he swallowed. Then he gave into the tension. Firm, needy, and overwhelming. Body against mine, tongue demanding, hands everywhere; I wanted to get lost in that kiss. I did. There was nothing else in the world other than his body and desire. That need for me.
He reached under my dress, squeezed my arse, and growled into my mouth before breaking the kiss. “I want you.” His lips were red, and cheeks flushed.
“Yes.”
I pulled at his t-shirt, and we stripped each other, moving to the bed as clothes fell onto the rug over the floorboards.
I halted as his jeans came off. He was beautiful. I ran my hands over his chest, teasing the smattering of hair.
“Having fun?”
“Yes, thank you.” I pushed him onto the bed and straddled him. He finished undressing me as I kissed him, taking from his mouth with abandon.
“Let’s not rush.” He held my cheeks, smiling.
“What did you have in mind?”
He eased me off him, urging me onto my front.
He stood, eased his underwear off and his erection took my attention.
I propped my head up and sighed.
He grabbed a box of condoms and dropped them on the bed.
“I’m careful, and believe it or not, I don’t make a habit out of this.”
“So why am I here?” I dragged my eyes up from his delicious looking cock. It was difficult to not look back at it.
“Adam and I have been friends for years. He’s a great guy, but his luck in relationships is worse than mine. I gave him some advice, and he told me I should take it too. About putting ourselves out there again.”
“That’s why you asked me out?”
“Yes. I wouldn’t have, I’d have thought about it and not done it.”
“Why?”
“You don’t want my sob story.”
“But what if I do?” Lust dimmed.
He pulled down the duvet, and we got under it. We were both naked, hot for each other, but there was no awkward rush for anything. Just, I knew right then he needed to talk, and I needed to hear it.
“I’ve been in love with someone for a long time. I met her about ten years ago. I was in a drag bar with some friends, and I saw her front and centre. Having a party with her friends because she’d just come out to her family about being trans. I bought her a drink, and a few of my friends knew her friends, so we hung out all night.
“We became really close, and I fell in love with her. I didn’t push for a relationship at first, she was transitioning, and it was complicated. Except one night, she called me after she’d been on a date, and I went to hers, and she was upset because of people, and I was comforting her and told her I loved her and I’d do anything for her. We were together after that. I was so happy. It moved quick. Then about six years ago she was offered a job. Her mother is from Iceland, and she wanted more. She’d done her PhD.” He scratched his forehead.
“She left.”
He nodded. “It was a great job, and she couldn’t get further here, it seemed she was walled in. She asked me to go with her, but my business was getting off the ground, and my family, my life, it was a big ask. We tried for a little while, but we were both so busy. We’re still friends, and I talk to her now and again. She’s met someone.”
“And you still love her?”
“In a way. I’ve just not been able to let it go. I thought we were going to get married. Everything. I’m stuck.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be because I just killed the mood.”
“We can just sleep, or I’ll go.”
“No. I don’t want to be alone. For the first time in a long time, I don’t.” His eyes were sad.
I ran my hand through his hair, and he closed his eyes. “That’s progress.”
I pressed up to him, kissing his shoulder, and we lay, caressing and feeling our way across each other.
We were both lost, both needing comfort, and I wanted to give him what he gave me.
Our conversation became knowledge, and I absorbed it, it was past and now all there was in the world was this: us in the moment. Our touch, breath, and heat. Pulling me over him, he bunched my hair. I wondered if he thought of her as he kissed me, and I realised I didn’t care; I wanted this.
I kissed down his front and made my way to his cock, but he halted me.
“Lie on your front.”
I did, curious, and he felt and caressed all over my back.
“I have a thing for backs.” He massaged and kissed all the way down to my bottom and thighs until I was so relaxed, I floated away. He lay over me, weight pressing down, and settled, hard cock between my arse cheeks, arms surrounding me, and deliciously warm.
“Tell me how you want me to fuck you.”
I moaned, but he peppered kisses on my shoulder.
“I want to make you come.”
“I’m pretty sure you will.”
“I want to see it.” I did, all I wanted was to get my hands on it.
He paused. “Then please do.”
He rolled off and onto his back. I turned around and straddled his chest so he could see my back.
“I do yoga twice a week. Let’s see how bendy I am.”
He was tall, and I shifted higher on his chest and bent down. With a laugh, he put his hands on my back, and I sucked him, cutting his laughter off into a moan.
He wasn’t massive but had girth, stretching my mouth. He thrust up, whispering his pleasure, and I took it, played with his balls, and when I pulled away for air, I shifted to lie flatter, and he pulled me so he could lick my pussy.
I played with his dick, and he paused, moaning.
He held me tighter. “I’m close, I’m close.”
Will’s balls were tight, thighs twitching, and my heart pounded. I sucked hard and fast, and as he lifted off the bed, I let him go, watching cum spurt out, splashing us both, then I went again. Making him shout.
I pulled off him, turned and wiped my cheek. He looked delirious as he pulled me back to him, kissing me hard.
WORKDAY
We didn’t fuck. Those condoms lay unused, and we fell asleep. I was relaxed, safe and comfortable. I’d not been so at ease in longer than I remembered, but as I woke in a strange bed, sober, I felt the unreality. I slipped out of from under the duvet, grabbed my clothes and left. I didn’t want a man or a relationship, and I didn’t want to make accommodations for another human. Not again.
I looked at him, lying sprawled in the bed. He was beyond lovely and sweet. My heart pulled a little. I’d never known anything so sweet or fulfilling. Then I understood; I’d fall for him.
The Best Friends Anthology (A New City Story Book 5) Page 18
