Who?
Brigid, she says.
Brigid? It’s late, he says. He lets her in and looks out at the night sky. The stars provide more illumination than is inside the house, but the night is still dark and he sees the silhouettes of the warriors and refugees, indistinguishable now in the dark, laying together across the enclosure.
Brigid, he says again. What are you doing here? His eyes adjusted to the scant light of the outside and once again inside the house he cannot see.
I couldn’t sleep, she says. I had to talk to you.
Is something troubling you?
Nothing is troubling me, not really. I don’t know. I just feel so wonderful. Everything feels so wonderful—it is wonderful to be here with these people, with you.
I’m glad you enjoy being with us, but that couldn’t have waited until the morning?
The rustling of fabric gives away her position and he sees half-imagined her outline in a corner of the room.
It couldn’t have waited, she says.
I don’t understand. What was it you needed from me?
He hears her laughter and she brushes against his arm and he feels her smoothness and then she is gone again and laughing.
I think maybe I should go to bed, he says. It is far too late and I need to have my mind with me in the morning.
I agree, it is so late. I should probably go to bed, too.
To sleep.
To sleep, why not? There’s nothing wrong with sleeping.
With sleeping, there is not.
What else would there be something wrong with?
I don’t know, Brigid. But there is nothing wrong with sleeping.
I like you like this. You seem so nervous. You are like a young boy. Are you afraid of me?
I am not afraid of you, Brigid. Nor am I young.
I’m young. See? She takes his hand and tries to move it toward her. He resists, taking his hand back and stepping away from her.
You are young but I am not and I must sleep before the sun comes up. If I don’t sleep before the sun comes up I won’t be able to think if I am awake, and if I sleep into the day the people will think I’m lazy.
There is plenty of time for sleep, she says. The longer you delay sleep the less you’ll get.
I agree, which is why you should be on your way.
I see, she says. Maybe I will see you in the morning, then.
Padraig hears the sound of rustling fabric and then she is gone out of the house. He sits again.
Through a field they come, laughing and running, and he smiles from the top of the hill when he sees them, Clara with his Caomh, older now, as old as he should be if--as old as he should be if he were with Padraig. They play in the grass and he moves down the hill to join them. He walks and walks and yet there they are ahead of him, out of reach. They motion to him to join them and he is running, but still he cannot reach them. Cloth tears behind him and he turns to look but there is only blackness and he is falling, falling away.
He feels as though he has been sitting only a moment and then the sun is coming through the windows into his eyes. He stretches and wipes away some crust from his mouth, and yawns.
When he is ready, he exits the house and there Dichu is already waiting for him. The people of Dichu’s fort are out and awake.
How long has the sun been up? Padraig asks
Two hours or so, Dichu says.
I overslept, Padraig says.
You’ve been busy lately, Dichu says.
Not any busier than you.
Maybe, Dichu says. Busier or not, you are tired.
Padraig looks again at the people, both rescued and warriors, and he flashes a look of concern.
The sun has been up two hours, you say?
More or less, Dichu says.
Why aren’t the people doing anything, then? I know that I have overslept, but no one is doing anything constructive.
What would you have them do?
I don’t know, but I don’t know why they are just sitting there.
There’s nothing for them to do, Dichu says. There aren’t any slavers nearby that we know about, and these people are tired. Most of my people haven’t been at their homes for so long that there is nothing for them to do there anymore, their only stake is here. As for the refugees, you can’t expect them to do anything. They’ve been kidnapped and then rescued. They deserve some rest.
But there’s so much to do, Padraig says.
Maybe you need some more sleep, Dichu says.
Maybe, Padraig says. I think it might take something more drastic than that.
What is that?
Nothing. There are some women here, from the west. Find them and have them meet me. One of them is named Dairine. Tell them I must speak with them.
It will be done, Dichu says.
Dichu goes off in search of the women and Padraig walks down the hill to where he knows Dichu’s people are staying. There he finds Etain and Oisin. Oisin is on the ground and Etain is tickling him. He fights to get away but she keeps him in place and he laughs. She sees Padraig and stops and Oisin continues laughing a moment until he notices she has stopped and his eyes follow her face to the source of her change of demeanor.
God be with you, Padraig says.
God and Mary with you, she says.
I hate this arrangement, Padraig says.
What’s that, father?
Nothing, I just hate that you and Dichu aren’t using your home. I shouldn’t be staying there, especially alone. It just invites trouble and it isn’t fair to your family.
You didn’t take our home from us, and you know it. We offered. We’re glad to have you in our home.
Still, it doesn’t feel right. I feel guilty.
Well don’t. What did you need? Is everything well?
Everything is fine. Your husband is running an errand for me and I needed to ask a favor of you, as well.
What can I do for you?
If you could tell the people that I need to speak to them. I understand some of the new people will probably be eager to be on their way if they haven’t left already, but any that haven’t left or are interested in what we are doing, I would like to attend. Obviously anyone who is already a part of us should be there as well. Will you spread word through the camp?
Of course, father. But where and when would you like to meet them?
I have something I must do before I speak to them. Perhaps in an hour or so I can meet with everyone. It will have to be in the church unless we meet outside, but I’d prefer them to be able to hear me, so make it the church.
I will make sure to, she says.
Padraig walks back up the hill and there he sees Brigid walking. She blushes when she sees him and hesitates in her step, but by then they are next to each other and there is nowhere to go.
Good morning, Brigid, Padraig says.
Good morning, she says.
You slept well? he asks.
I did. I don’t think you did.
I slept well enough, he says.
I’m glad, she says. I should be on my way.
Perhaps I will see you later, then.
Perhaps.
She turns and continues on her way and he his. Before Padraig is back to Dichu’s home, one of Dichu’s warriors approaches him and informs him that the women he had asked for are waiting for him at the house. He thanks the man and hurries onward so he will have time to speak to the women before he is to address the assembled people. Looking behind him, he sees that already Etain has enlisted help in gathering them and some are beginning to go to the church.
Thank you for waiting for me, he says when he reaches the house.
It is no problem, Dairine says. In the room is only her and Mella.
I expected to see all of you.
> My companions are busy, Dairine says with a smile. We can carry any message you have for us to them, though.
I suppose you can, he says.
Why have you summoned us exactly? she asks. Have you considered our proposal so soon?
I have, he says. I think that you are correct. We are in danger of being fortified in this place and leaving ourselves open for an attack or letting ourselves be branded as some sort of cult.
We told you that you were in danger of this, she says.
You did, and I believed you. You have some helpful insight into what our mission requires and I thank you for that.
So you will allow us to enter into monastic life?
I will. I think you are right that the people need to be able to live their lives, but I also need there to be a stable religious presence. With your help I can continue my work elsewhere without having to constantly worry about them returning to paganism in my absence.
I’m glad to hear our proposal was acceptable.
It was, but remember that you are still under my authority. My fellow priests are dealing with enough heresy in the rest of the territories the empire has abandoned. I will not have it take root here. If your sisters and your brothers become unorthodox in their beliefs, then you’ll have to be reckoned with. The mission is too important to allow it to become confused so early.
I understand, she says.
And you, he says, turning to Mella.
I understand, too, father, she says. We only wish to serve your church.
Serve the church, he says.
We will, they say.
Very well, then. You have my permission to begin work as soon as you are able. I’d request that if you have to pick a single location you start near here.
We had considered that and likely will, Dairine says.
Unfortunately, at this point we will not be able to offer you any resources, he says. Organizationally, we just aren’t able to help in that way for now. I suppose you could get some of the locals to assist you if they were willing. The new converts I would think would be particularly open to helping you with construction.
We had also considered that, Dairine says. Our plan is to recruit those that would help us before we depart from here. After all, there won’t be another opportunity for a while for so many people to be gathered in one place like this.
Hopefully you’re wrong about that, he says. I hope to continue gathering crowds as our Lord did.
Of course, she says. I just meant to make use of the situation.
It is smart to use this opportunity, you are right. What about materials? Will you use them for that, too?
That won’t be as much of a problem, she says. We are from families who will have the means to provide all that we need for our project.
Well, that will at least simplify things for you.
It will. If there is nothing else, father, she says.
One more thing, and then you may leave. One of the refugees in camp.
What of him?
Her, actually. Young. Her name is Brigid. It occurs to me suddenly I don’t know how else to identify her. You may not be able to find her after all.
What is it?
If you are able to find her, please encourage her to join you in your mission. She is a young woman I feel is in need of religious instruction and something to pour her energy into. If you find her in the camp, perhaps she would be willing to be a part of your community or would be one of the recruits willing to help.
Of course, father, if you think she would be a good candidate than we will look into it.
Dairine and Mella bow to Padraig and exit Dichu’s home.
The people are gathered in the church and the air is saturated with their voices. Padraig waits at the back, readying himself, and the occasional person looks over at him expectantly. Even his own people, even Dichu, stand around whispering to one another about the impromptu meeting. The only ones he sees who are not talking are Dairine and her companions, who stand in the corner of the church without much expression at all.
At last all are assembled and ready and Padraig knows it is time to speak. He walks through the nave of the church, such as it is, wordlessly and yet it is though he has told the entire assembly to be silent. He doesn’t look at them but knows they track his progress.
My friends, he says once he is before them. We have accomplished so much in such a short time. We have established this church as a beacon of light in this dark land, and I am grateful to those of you who have been so instrumental in helping us thus far. To those of you who are new, I take it you are interested in what we are doing here, if for no other reason than you are still here. You have had ample time to leave by now.
The assembled people continue to look at him with puzzled expressions. He looks out over their faces and sees Dichu nodding his approval to the words of thanks, Etain watching him with Oisin.
We have accomplished so much, and yet it is time for us to take our mission here to the rest of the island. We must increase our efforts and change the way we approach others in order to continue to spread the word of God. That being the case, I have several announcements. The first is that I will be establishing a religious community in the neighboring village which will be attended to by the women you see standing in the back there. This community will be open to godly men and women and will continue to serve the needs of the people in my absence.
At this, the silence in the room is destroyed by the sudden chatter of the crowd. There are gasps and angry calls amid the explosion of conversation and it is sometime before Padraig is able to calm the crowd enough to continue speaking.
By the sound of it you understand what my next announcement will be. I will no longer be residing here but using my time to continue to spread the gospel and set up communities like this one. Some of you will continue on with Dichu and ensure that we will persevere in stomping out the paganism in the area. The rest of you, however, will need to return to your homes. There may be need of you in the future, but for now the best use you can be is living out your lives and spreading God’s message to your neighbors.
I know that to some of you this will be a disappointment, but we are all called to serve God differently. And rest assured that this will not be the last you see of me. Though I will be spending my time elsewhere, I am not going to abandon you or anyone else. I will make sure to visit the places I have already served and keep an eye on any religious communities in those areas. You were sent a bishop and I will make sure that you have a bishop.
That being said, I am one man. As much as I have been loath to admit it, it is true. And one man cannot effectively serve a growing community such as yours, not if I am to expand our brothers and sisters and continue to serve you as much as you deserve. There have been several men who have had prior conversations with me about following in my footsteps and taking holy orders. Up until now I have only discussed the possibility with them without actually ordaining any of them. It is no longer possible for me to delay these noble men who are called to serve, and I must admit that I’ve already been too stubborn in the face of their sincere persistence. As such, I invite Dara, Fergus, and Aodh to come forward.
The men come forward and though he knows the ceremony lacks the grandeur of his own ordination, he also knows that he needs the extra help the men will provide. They stand before the people as he goes through the holy mystery and soon where there had been only their bishop, there are three new priests.
Each of these men will be assigned a community and its surrounding areas, Padraig tells the people. They will minister to you as I have and help turn more of your people to our cause. I hope that you will provide them the same respect you would give to me.
He speaks for a while longer, reassuring them that he will return and that he has every confidence in their community’s ability to survive and thrive. After he has finished
there are tears and there are more questions, but he is able to calm the most boisterous people down and soon the stunned audience files out of the church.
I wish you had said something to me before, Dichu says once they are able to speak privately away from the crowd.
You would have stopped me, Padraig says.
Of course I would have. You’re going to get yourself killed if you leave here. Here we can protect you. We can all spread your message.
You would try to protect me and that is exactly why I must leave.
I don’t understand.
Suppose I had an important message to send to one of the other tribes.
Do you?
I’m just speaking as though I do. Pretend I have a message to be sent.
As you say.
And let us imagine you want to stop me.
Why would I?
You are not yourself in the story. It doesn’t matter why, you just want to stop me. That’s all there is to it. You want to keep the man from getting away with the message.
How would I stop him?
You are next to me, for whatever reason. Don’t protest, just listen. You are next to me and you have a javelin and there goes the man straight in front of you with my message that you must stop. What do you do?
I throw my javelin and I kill him and the message goes nowhere.
That’s right. You throw the javelin and if your aim is true then the man will fall and the message will go nowhere.
What is your point?
Imagine I want to send a message, but this time I have three men going to three tribes.
And I only have one javelin.
You are beginning to catch on, I think. And even if you had three what would I matter? I don’t doubt your prowess in battle, but even then with three javelins I would doubt you could get all three. By leaving here I ensure the safety of my purpose here. Even if I die I have created something that has a chance of living. If we stay here- if I stay here- biding time until our enemies decide we threaten their power enough to fight us, all of us can be erased with one strike. It is easy to break a stick, it is hard to break a bundle.
But what will I do?
Do what you do best. Continue as you have been. We will need Christian chieftains. We will need more of our people freed from the enemy. These people and the new religious communities will need protection. You are in a position to provide it.
The Fire in the Oaks: A Novel of St Patrick's Confession Page 12
