After the whole Beaumont fiasco, she thought she’d recovered nicely. She remained intrepid in every other aspect of her life, in control and secure.
And then Micah Preston came along. Now she was dizzy and doubtful and undecided. He threw her around like a deck of cards in a game of fifty-two card pick-up. Even when he returned to gather her together again, she still felt shuffled and rearranged, and anything but sure.
She tapped her fingers on the mixer, thinking about him as she waited for the lighting to be set for the next scene. She’d wandered over to the sound table to remain out of the way and to text Bree for advice. But she had no bars in their remote location. She’d have to be a grown-up and sort her problems out on her own.
She closed her eyes and sighed, remembering Micah’s words as they‘d walked together that afternoon. The reason behind his awful behavior revealed so much insecurity and heartache. I wanted you to notice me. The whole world focused on him and he was concerned about her attention? How could she not want to fold him into her arms and notice him all night long?
But then she’d remember all the women he’d been with, and she’d doubt again. He never had any intention of turning any of his encounters into a relationship. He doomed them from the start. Could he really let her in enough to overcome his natural tendency to remain aloof? Could he really give them the chance he alluded to?
And if he couldn’t, should she decide she didn’t care and just live in the moment? Or tell him once and for all that she’d had enough?
She wasn’t sure.
Chloe’s sassy voice pulled her from her reverie. “Did you say something?” Maddie asked.
“Huh, what?” Chloe removed one of the headphones that fed her the sound from the set from her ear.
“I thought you said something.”
Chloe broke into a grin. “Ha, no, I was just laughing at the actors. As always.”
Maddie glanced toward set. Micah and Heather were chatting by a large prop boulder. They were too far to hear, though. Unless their microphones were still on. “Are their mics hot?”
“Yeah.” Chloe appeared to listen for a moment then chuckled again. “Heather’s giving Micah a hard time about his mood. It’s pretty funny.”
“Hmm, really?” Maddie tried not to seem too interested, but who was she kidding? She was interested in everything concerning Micah.
Chloe lowered her voice and spoke in a tone that insinuated good gossip. “I think she’s trying to hit on him. They wouldn’t be the first costars to hook up during filming.”
Every hair on Maddie’s body stood up, a storm of jealousy brewing in her blood. “What?”
Chloe twisted her lips and narrowed her eyes. Then, her face eased as if she had come to a decision. “I really shouldn’t do this, but here.” She handed the headphones to Maddie. “I can’t have all the fun.”
Maddie hadn’t listened to hot mics since she’d worked on sound in college. It was common knowledge that the sound crew was always in the know, constantly overhearing conversations between actors when the cameras weren’t rolling and they’d forgotten their microphones were on. It was unethical for the crew to share their inside scoop, and Chloe had never done it as far as Maddie knew. At another time, in another place, Maddie would have politely turned down the offer. But now her curiosity won. She put the headphones on.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Micah’s voice came through the cans clearly, his smooth murmur fed directly into her ears sending a shiver down her spine.
“You’re distracted and happy all at once,” Heather purred. “Who are you thinking about?”
Maddie wondered if he was thinking about her like she was thinking about him. If he’d been sincere during their run that morning, she would bet money he was.
She watched him across the meadow as he ran his hand over his eyes. “I’m thinking about our scene.”
Heather tossed a blond curl over her shoulder. “I don’t believe you. Our scene isn’t happy.” She grabbed Micah’s shirt and pulled him closer to her. “Are you thinking about us? I am.”
Maddie stiffened. Heather Wainwright was totally flirting with Micah. How could Maddie ever compete with Heather Wainwright?
And did she just admit that she wanted to compete over Micah?
Micah removed himself from the actress’s clutches. “Uh, Heather, we weren’t ever really…anything…”
Weren’t ever really anything? Maddie’s heart thumped loudly in her chest. Why would Heather think otherwise?
He leaned back on the boulder. “And aren’t you back with your boyfriend?”
Heather shrugged. “I was with him the last time we hooked up.”
“You were? I didn’t realize…” Micah’s voice trailed off.
Maddie’s thumping heart dropped to her stomach. Micah and Heather had already hooked up. Heather had kissed and fondled and stroked and done all the things that Maddie longed to do with Micah. She wanted to throw up.
It doesn’t matter. He had been with so many women it didn’t matter if Heather was one of the hordes.
Except that the actress named as one of the fifty most beautiful women in the world by the biggest entertainment magazine in the industry was right there, right now, inches from him. Was he sleeping with her while he hit on Maddie? Please, oh please, let that be a no!
Maddie didn’t have to wait long for an answer to her questions. Heather’s proposition came soft but distinct over the headphones. “Come over tonight, Micah. We have tomorrow off. We could spend all day in the hotel like old times.” She leaned into him and whispered, “Doesn’t that sound fun?”
He stood up and turned to face his costar, leaving what Maddie considered an appropriate distance between them. “Heather, I’m just, you know, I’m not really feeling it.”
Yes! Maddie could have jumped for joy if she weren’t afraid of drawing attention.
Heather slumped down on the boulder, pouting. “What a shame. I thought I could always count on you for a roll in the hay. Are you sure you’re not coming down with something?”
“Ha ha ha, yes. I’m fine. I’m just—”
“Micah,” Joe interrupted. “Let’s talk about that moment at the beginning of the scene.”
Maddie slipped the headphones off and handed them to Chloe. She was still surprised about the exchange. Micah had slept with Heather in the past and he wasn’t sleeping with her now. Half to herself she said, “He totally turned her down.”
Chloe raised her eyebrows. “He did? Hmm. Bummer for Heather. Well, I guess that fits his M.O. He’s generally a love ‘em and leave ‘em guy, isn’t he? Still, lucky her for getting whatever she got.”
Maddie nodded in agreement, but she wasn’t so sure. Surprise, surprise! Not sure about Micah. Again. “Chloe, would you sleep with him knowing it was going to be a one-time thing?”
“Uh, duh. Who wouldn’t? Girlfriend, if Micah Preston showed even the slightest bit of interest I’d rub myself all up and down him before he could say, ‘April Fool’s.’ That man is fine.”
Maddie rubbed her chin. “Really? I mean he’s hot.” Super, mega-amazingly eye-blindingly hot. “But it wouldn’t be like just a normal one-night-stand. You’d see his face everywhere after and that would just be—”
Chloe cut her off. “It would be awesome, is what it would be. Every time I saw his face I’d say to myself—and probably everyone I know— ‘yeah, I hit that.’”
Maddie laughed. Chloe had a point. Sleeping with a super hot actor wouldn’t be something most people would frown at.
Oh, hell. Why was she such a frickin’ prude? Had she always been this way? Or just with the one guy in the universe that she actually wanted to fuck royally?
“Besides,” Chloe added. “You always wonder if you could be the one—the one that the hot guy finally settles for. But you never know unless you go for it. I mean, I’d never go for it. But that’s only ‘cause I’m all talk.”
Maddie sighed. This was crazy. Her and Mi
cah, and chances, and all of it. Absolute madness. She’d read somewhere that the definition of crazy was doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. Over and over she’d said she was finished with Micah and over and over again she returned to him like a boomerang flung into the wind. If she really wanted to be done with him, she had to do something different.
But what if she abandoned her entire agenda? What if she decided returning to Micah’s arms was actually an okay ending? Heaven knew that was exactly where she wanted to be.
What if he really could give them a chance and she was the one who was holding them back?
What if…?
She thanked Chloe for the entertainment and returned to her place at the camera, struggling to hide her sudden giddiness. She’d made a decision and she wasn’t backing down. For the first time since Micah reentered her life, she felt sure.
Fifteen
Micah ran his hand through his hair as he waited for the hotel clerk to make him a new key card. He thought he’d made progress with Maddie that day. Their run—okay, walk—had been tough to get through, even without the physical exertion, but it had ended on a promising note.
The night’s shoot, the last before a much needed day off, had gone well too. Except for a minor awkward moment early in the evening when Heather had tried to resume their occasional sexual activity. Uh, no. If not for Maddie, maybe, but that was hard to even imagine because Maddie was all he could think about.
But after that the shoot had been nice. For the first time since he’d arrived in Colorado, he didn’t try to avoid or seduce Maddie. Instead, he’d stood for all his focus measurements, chatted with her between takes, exchanged glances with her when Joe got off track. It was all natural and easy and fun.
On top of that, his acting had been on fire. He’d remembered all his lines and hit all his marks. The scenes had gone so well, they’d wrapped early.
And that was when things started going downhill.
He looked around for Maddie the second they were done, to no avail. He even asked others about her whereabouts, not caring about what they thought or what rumors his inquiry started. No one had an answer. Then he walked down to video village where Adam said she’d taken the camera hard drives. He didn’t find her there either.
He decided to hit his trailer and shower, then search for her again. When he couldn’t find her after he’d cleaned up, he wondered if she was avoiding him again. He considered calling her, pulled out his phone more than once to do so, but he didn’t want to push her. She’d said she’d consider giving them a shot. He had to trust her.
Then to top off his already anxious mood, he couldn’t for the life of him find his room key and had to have a new one made at the front desk.
He pulled out his phone again while the night clerk fiddled with the key machine. While he didn’t want to be pushy, he wanted Maddie to know he was thinking of her. He deliberated over what to text her for an embarrassingly long length of time. In the end he went with short and simple. Sweet dreams, baby.
She didn’t return his text, and he worried. But what could he do?
Nothing. Nothing but wait.
By the time he stood outside his room, he was tired and frustrated. And alone.
He considered knocking on Fudge’s door. The idea of entering an empty suite was almost too desolate to imagine. But Fudge had taken off while Micah was still searching for Maddie. He was most likely already asleep. And what use would Fudge be in keeping Micah’s mind off a woman?
With a heavy sigh, he stuck the new key in the card reader to open the door.
And there she was. Standing in his room like a vision.
He stood blinking in the threshold.
“Um, hi,” she said.
Lost for words, he silently stepped in the room letting the door close behind him. She’s here, he thought. She’s here. Everything but that splendid realization dissolved away.
He set his bag down and cocked his head, looking over the beautiful specimen before him.
“I, uh, don’t know if it’s okay that I’m here.” She played with the hem of her tank top. “And I’m sorry if it’s not.”
He opened his mouth to answer, to say it was more than okay, especially if she was there for the reason he hoped. But she continued talking before he had the chance.
“Actually, I’m really not sorry. I need to be here. I want to be here, too, don’t get me wrong. I mean I really, really want to be here especially after everything you said today. Earlier today. When we were running, I mean. And tonight too. Nothing specific from tonight, but just it was really great to talk to you, and you know…”
Hmm, so she’d felt it too. Her nervousness was adorable. As if he didn’t want her completely.
“Anyway, besides wanting to be here, I need to be here because I’m going to go crazy if things continue like they have. Well, not like today—today was good—but before today. And actually, I think I may have already gone crazy, but that’s not really relevant to this conversation.”
He watched her eyes as she spoke. They were so expressive, changing as quickly as her rambling took a new direction. Beautiful and engaging.
She took a deep breath and he inhaled with her, syncing naturally to her.
“I have to be honest and tell you that it’s hard for me to trust that you’ll give us a chance. But if I don’t give us a chance either, then I’m no better than you. So I have to just throw my hat in and hope. Hope you do too, I mean. Because I have no idea where we’ll go after that. I mean, what if I totally hate you? You are an actor and I’ve always been turned off by the talent.”
He covered his mouth to keep from laughing at her delightful rambling.
Her voice dropped to a hush. “And I do want to spend time with you in and outside of bed. And since we’ve spent all our time together outside of bed, and since we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other…”
He almost groaned. She is here for that. He shifted his stance to accommodate his tightening jeans.
“I would have waited in the lobby, but I didn’t want anyone to see me and since I knew where you kept your key, I took it and let myself in. I was going to wait for you with all my clothes off—”
He raised an eyebrow.
“—but then I realized that would be especially awkward if you kicked me out.”
He nodded and switched the dead bolt to the ‘do not disturb’ position. Even at two in the morning he wasn’t taking any chances. They had been interrupted too many times before and nothing was going to interfere this time.
He walked toward her, slowly, purposefully, still not saying anything.
“I’m probably coming off as one of those creepy, stalker girls right now. I didn’t really think this through, I just…did…you know? Without thinking. I just ran to your trailer first thing after wrap and grabbed your key. I’m lucky you keep it in the same place, though maybe you need to rethink that in the future.”
She rubbed her hand along her collarbone, drawing his attention to her lovely neck. He’d kiss that first, trace the beautiful line up to her exquisite jaw.
“I’m really not this psycho. I’m—this—everything I do when I’m with you, actually, is really uncharacteristic of anything I usually do—ever—and I don’t know why I’m doing it when I’m doing it, but I can’t help myself.”
Then he’d nibble on that ear. He bet it tasted divine.
“And I know it was really unfair to ask you to stay away from me when I can’t seem to stay away from you. You just get in my head and make me insane. Oh, ha ha, I guess I am really this psycho. But it’s you who makes me crazy and I’m...just...”
He stood in front of her now.
“...say something.”
He cradled her face with his hand. “Stop talking.”
He shifted his palm to the back of her neck and pulled her to him. She threw her arms around him and all his plans of where to caress and what to nibble went out the window as his mouth met hers.
He kissed her tentatively at first, afraid of the unbridled passion they’d experienced outside his trailer, that it would move them too quickly. He wanted to take his time.
She seemed to have the same idea. Her lips, as they moved and molded to his, still held all the fervor of their last embrace, but none of the desperation. The kiss built and blazed. Soon it absorbed him, her tongue drawing him into a depth of intimacy he hadn’t felt in years. He could live on this kiss.
It was Maddie arching eagerly against him that finally reminded him there were so many more areas of her body he wanted to touch and explore. He surrendered her mouth and moved along her neck, licking and nipping as she tilted her head to give him more access. She moaned and he journeyed lower along her collarbone, kissing along the top of her breasts.
Her breasts. He had fondled them, knew they perfectly fit his hand, but he had yet to see them, to taste them. He couldn’t wait any longer. “These,” he said, his voice tight. “I want to see these.”
A shy grin crossed her face as he slid his fingers under her tank top and pulled her shirt up, missing the feel of her hands on his body when she lifted her arms to help him remove it.
Then there they were, pink-tipped and fully exposed for his eyes only. Damn, they were beautiful. Even better than he’d imagined. They were firm and round and her nipples responded immediately as he sucked and tugged at her tender skin. With a soft moan, she collapsed into the crook of his arm under his ardor.
“Goddamnit, Maddie, I need you in my bed.”
She squealed as he swept her into his arms, and he reveled in the sound. He carried her through the suite to the bedroom and laid her gently on the king-size bed. There he gazed at her for several long heated seconds. She blushed under his stare and his rock-hard member ached for release. Not yet. There was so much he wanted to do to her—do for her—he didn’t know where to begin.
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