by Sandra Lang
Today is finally the day. After a half cycle of planning, Tala and Merick will bind themselves together. Because I am the Wise Woman, I have a place of honor in the ceremony. If I were truly being honest with myself, I would admit that I wish I was with Tala instead of Natoak on this day. Instead, I am standing next to Natoak on the platform in the center of the village waiting for the ceremonial procession to draw near. I run over the ceremony in my head, trying to remember what I am supposed to say and the actions I am supposed to perform. I check that the bowl of water is behind me and the flower Natoak and I dug up this morning is still alive – more or less.
Every member of the tribe stands around waiting. They all speak quietly amongst themselves, waiting eagerly to see the couple. They fall silent when the procession arrives. Tala’s parents head the procession, with Tala and Merick behind them, followed by Sirak and Sarali, and Merick’s parents bringing up the rear. Tala’s parents stop in front of us, bow their heads, and place the two baskets they are holding in front of us before moving to the left. Tala and Merick bow and move closer to where Natoak and I stand before sitting in front of the baskets. Sirak and Sarali do the same and follow Tala’s parents to the left. Finally, Merick’s parents set down the baskets they carry, bow, and move to the right.
“My brothers and sisters, please be seated wherever you may find a place.” Nataok’s voice booms over the crowd. The crowd sits on the benches and chairs placed around the courtyard in front of us and behind the couple. “I welcome you all on this fine day where two people will bind themselves together for life. We celebrate their love and remember the love we have. It is a gift – love is – and we must cherish it and hold onto it with all of our might when we have it within our hands.” He pauses to look at the crowd. “We will begin with the offerings. Tala of Deep Forest House, what is it that you offer Merick of Rising Sun and his family?”
Tala lifts her head for the first time. Her dark brown eyes meet Natoak’s and then mine. She has no fear in her eyes, only the pleased look of a woman about to commit herself to the love of her life. “Shaman and Wise Woman, I offer to Merick of Rising Sun and his family the skills of a hunter so that we may never go hungry. I offer bows and arrows so that we will have protection. I offer furs and woven blankets so what we may never feel the cold of winter. I offer these gifts freely as a sign of my devotion and my promise to my intended.”
“Do you, Rising Sun House, accept these offerings and thereby give your approval of the binding of Tala and Merick?”
The members of Rising Sun stand and place their hands over their hearts to show their approval.
Natoak smiles at her before looking at Merick. “And you, Merick of Rising Sun, what do you offer Tala of Deep Forest and her family?”
He clears his throat before speaking loudly. “I offer to Tala of Deep Forest and her family the skills of a warrior so that we will always be protected. I offer my spear so that we may never go hungry. I offer a home that I may keep her and our children sheltered from the harshest of storms. I offer these gifts freely as a sign of my devotion and my promise to my intended.”
“Do you, Deep Forest House, accept these offerings and thereby give your approval of the binding of Tala and Merick?”
Being the largest House in our tribe, only those directly related to Tala stand and place their hands over their hearts. I notice that the other members do the latter gesture as a sign of their solidarity.
“Wise Woman of Kurtu’lak, do the spirits approve of the binding between Tala of Deep Forest and Merick of Rising Sun?”
I hand the bowl of water to Natoak and pluck the flower head from the stem. “Spirits of the sky and the earth, give us a sign that you approve of this binding.” I gently put the flower into the bowl and we patiently wait to see if the spirits approve. The flower stays afloat. “Kurtu’lak, the spirits approve of the binding between Tala of Deep Forest and Merick of Rising Sun.”
I take the bowl from his hands and step off the platform. I kneel in front of the couple and offer the bowl of water with the flower. “Drink from the bowl to receive the spirits’ blessing.” Tala and Merick each drink from the bowl. I stand back up and move to Natoak’s side. “Shaman, you may continue.”
Natoak steps off of the platform and stands in front of the couple. “Your offers have been accepted by the spirits and by your families. You have asked each member of the tribe for their approval and all have given it.” He turns his head to give me the nod. I hand him the rope.
My eyes quickly scan the crowd for any sign a member has not given their approval. My attention catches on Tarok who meets my eye. I force myself to look back at Tala and Merick.
“Let this rope symbolize the bond you are creating. Hold out your wrists.” He ties their wrists together. “With this knot you are bound together until death separates you.”
A cheer erupts from the crowd so loud that birds fly into the sky from the forest. There are several wet faces in the crowd, Renara and my mother included. Being the closest, I hug Tala and Merick first and offer my congratulations. “May you be forever happy.”
Deep Forest and Wide Net bring out their catches from the past few days and begin to cook them over the communal fire pit. Arctic wine flows like water among the adults. Poor Tala and Merick are bombarded with well-wishers to the point that Renara has to drag the couple away from the fray to allow them to dance together as a bound couple. I have never seen Tala as happy as she is dancing with her bond-mate. Her smile has not left her face since their knot was tied.
I walk up to Sarali who holds her sleeping two-cycle old son Jarol on her lap. “How are you doing, my sister?” I ask sitting down beside her.
“Deep Forest has been very busy preparing for this ceremony.”
“I can only imagine. I see Jarol is doing well.”
“He is finally sleeping through the night. I was not sure how much longer the three of us could handle him.”
“I am glad you all are doing much better. Did Sirak complain too much about missing the Hunt?”
“Only a little. He kept busy by teaching Liral how to be a man – his words, not mine.”
“He is only three.”
“That is what I told him, but he only said that a boy is never too young to learn how to be a man.”
“Are you going to try to have another baby?”
Sarali shakes her head. “I have been given two healthy boys. The chances of me having a little girl are not good. Besides, maybe you will have a little girl I can dote on.”
“Ha! You are more likely to get a little girl from Tala before you get anything from me.”
“Oh come off it, Akari. We all know that you will be the next to become bound.”
I sigh. “I have something to tell you.”
“Tell me what? What have you been hiding from me?”
“Tarok and Namira are intended. I know you have not been around the fire pit enough to hear the gossip, but that is what is going around.”
“I have heard it and I refuse to believe it.”
“She announced it a quarter cycle ago. Even Mother and Father know about it.”
“You know the rules, Akari. Nothing is certain until the man announces his intended to the tribe. I do not care what Namira has been blathering on about. Until Tarok makes it official, her words are meaningless.”
I should be glad of this because she is right. “I guess we will see. Promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.”
Sarali gets a mischievous look to her. “I promise I will not even tell Sirak.”
“Good.” I look around for anyone who might overhear us. Upon seeing no one, I lean in closer to my sister. “The Matrons choose the bond-mate for the Chiefs.”
She frowns at me. “That cannot be true. Narot was in love with Juni. There was no forcing them to marry.”
“Natoak said that when the future Chief goes away on his first Great Hunt, the Matrons get together and pick the future mate for him. I guess Narot was in love with
her before then.”
“Have you talked to Granny about it?”
“Why would I ask her? She is a Matron. She cannot spill her secrets to me.”
“Okay, okay. What does all of this have to do with Namira?”
“Tarok told me that Namira is the girl they picked to be his bond-mate.”
“He does not love her, even a dead man could see that.”
“He told me it does not matter. He told me that the Matrons choose, not him.”
“It cannot have always been that way. Why have we not heard of it?”
“Because no one outside of the Matrons is supposed to know about it. Even Natoak does not know all of it.”
“I do not believe any of that, Akari. You are making it all up.”
“Why would I do that?”
“Because it is easier to lie to yourself than to face the truth.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I have known since you came back. Do not pretend to hide it.”
My eyes widen before I hang my head in shame. “Have you told anyone else?”
“Of course not. It is not my business to tell anyone why you decided to come back.”
“How did you find out?”
“That does not matter. What matters is that you tell our parents. They have a right to know.”
“It is my burden to bear. No one else needs to be bothered by it.”
“If you do not tell them by the time we leave for the winter camp, I will.” She stands up and walks over to Tala and Merick. The hug they exchange is awkward enough without throwing a sleeping child into the mix. It would have been a funny sight had my spirits been higher.
Suddenly the celebration is too crowded. I feel stifled and suffocated. I pick up the long layers of my ceremonial dress and walk away from the festivities.
I stop at the water’s edge where it is quiet. Stripped of the outer layers and my boots, I stand in the waves. They roll over my feet and bury them into the sand. There will be no moon tonight. I watch as the sun starts to set and the stars begin to shine one by one.
“I thought you might be out here.” I am no longer startled by the sound of his voice. It is funny to think that only a few cycles ago I nearly jumped out of my skin when he spoke to me. Now his voice is just like anyone else’s.
“What do you want?” I ask harshly. I hope he gets the hint that I am in no mood for conversation, least of all with him.
“Straight to the point, okay. I, uh… I spoke with Namira.”
My shoulders slump even further. This is what he wants to talk about and this is most certainly what I do not want to even think about. “What did she say?”
“I want to hear your side of it.”
“Why does it matter?” I ask, turning to look at him. “Whatever she says will be the opposite of what I say. And why would you believe me anyway? She is going to be your bond-mate and you do not want to start off your shared life this way.”
“Why do you keep saying she is going to be my bond-mate? I have not chosen her or anyone!”
“Oh really?” I retort. “As I recall, you made it pretty clear who you were choosing – my bad! – who was chosen for you.”
“You know what your problem is?”
I narrow my eyes at him and fold my arms over my chest. “Do enlighten me.”
“You make it impossible for anyone to like you! It is getting very hard to remain impartial in this stupid little spat between you and Namira.”
“You think what we have is a little spat?”
“She said that she has always tried to get along with you and you have never given her a polite word, if any word at all. She has always been nice to you and never have you been pleasant back.”
I nod my head and walk up to him. I place my scarred wrist in his face so he can see the well-defined line. “Do you call this ‘nice’? How about my scarred toes? Would those be ‘nice’ to you as well? Or how about this?” I lift my hair and turn my head so he can see better. Behind my ear is a jagged scar the runs along my hairline for a finger’s length.
“No, I would not call those ‘nice’.”
“You want to hear my side of the story?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Do you want the honest truth or a lie?”
“You swear to give me the honest truth?”
“I swear on my honor as a woman of Kurtu’lak and as Wise Woman.” I took a deep breath, then began:
“I will start with the one behind my ear. When I was ten, I was standing on the break. Namira came up to me and told me to jump. She told me that I would be doing everyone a favor if I did. I tried to run away but she caught me. She pushed me down and my head hit the rocks. I listened to her laugh while I tried to move despite my injury. She left me there with stars in my eyes and blood in my hands.”
Next, I hold up my wrist to show the straight line crossing it horizontally. “Three days before I left on my Wise Woman journey, she cornered me. She told me that I should just die. She grabbed my wrist and dragged a broken spear head across it. Ask yourself, why would I ever cut one wrist and not the other? It was not even deep enough to have severed the veins.
“As for the burn scars on my toes, I cannot prove it was her. I can assure you, however, that she did see you and I walking toward the river. She could not have missed all the time you spent with me on the journey from winter camp to here. I really wish that what she told you was the truth. I would rather it be the truth than the part of her that I have seen. She is not as innocent as you think, Tarok. My hands and my spirit are clean, are hers?”
Chapter Seventeen
