“No, no Eva,” Timber interrupted, feeling badly for putting her friend through this. “I’m fine. I’d just been…thinking....”
“Timber, come on,” Eva said softly. “You have got to stop doing this to yourself. When it comes to my father, you did what you had to do. You wanted marriage and children, and he didn’t. You wanted to start your own business, and he was against it. Not only that, but he actually wanted you to keep working at that horrible pharmaceuticals laboratory that you couldn’t stand.”
Timber patted her damp cheeks with the back of her hand and closed her eyes. It wasn’t easy hearing the truth. But Eva kept going.
“You wanted to have a voice in the relationship, and my father wanted to control everything. You’re young and ambitious and independent, and my father is old school and traditional and stuck in his ways. Who knew you two would turn out to be such opposites? I certainly didn’t. But in the end, you did the right thing.”
“I know,” Timber moaned, holding her head in her hands. “But in spite of all the facts and the rationalizing, it still hurts.”
“I can imagine,” Eva said understandingly. “And I’m sorry. I hope I don’t sound insensitive, but I just want you to be happy. And you wouldn’t have been happy in a relationship where you weren’t fulfilled. So now you’re able to pursue your dreams and do whatever it is that you want to do with your life. Maybe you should think about getting back out there and meet someone new and—”
“Eva,” Timber interrupted. “Bouncing back is easier for you than it is for me. You’re beautiful and outgoing and fabulous and well-known, and—”
“And you’re a gorgeous, intelligent, wonderful woman who deserves love,” Eva interjected. “But you’re not going to find it sitting at home alone, wallowing in misery.”
“Okay, now you’re being insensitive,” Timber said right before she realized Eva’s intentions. “Wait, this about me going to that movie premier with you this weekend, isn’t it?”
“Maybe….” Eva replied coyly.
“Fine. I’ll go,” Timber replied quickly, “especially if it’ll get you off of my back.” And keep my mind off of Brian, she thought to herself.
“Yayyy!” Eva sang out. “What are you going to wear? There are going to be so many celebrities there. Trust me, we are going to have a great time. Do you want me to make a hair appointment her in the city for you?”
“Do whatever you want,” Timber said. “What time should I meet you there?”
“I’ll make an appointment for you at the salon for tomorrow at one. Do you need a manicure and pedicure, too?”
“No, I’ve already done all that myself. You are so high maintenance.”
“I am not!” Eva insisted. “I just enjoy being pampered.”
“Well I’ll just get my hair done. Maybe I’ll get some color or something. I think I need a change.”
“I think that’s a great idea. And I can’t wait to see you. I hope you’re planning on staying with me the entire weekend.”
“That actually sounds good. Hopefully the time away will help clear my head. And I can’t wait to see you, too.”
“We are going to have so much fun!” Eva squealed. “Pack plenty of cute outfits, and definitely bring something fabulous to wear to the premier.”
“I will.” Timber giggled, shaking her head at her friend’s excitement. “I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m on my way.”
After they said their goodbyes, Timber hung up the phone and made a conscious effort to stop thinking about Brian. She would instead get the orders and gift baskets together that she had to deliver to two spas in the morning. Then she’d pack, take a long bath, do a facial, and get a good night’s sleep so that she would look as presentable as possible this weekend.
The phone rang again, but Timber didn’t answer it. She wouldn’t even look at the caller ID. Tomorrow was Friday, and she didn’t want to deal with any problems or additional heartache. All she wanted to do was focus on healing her broken heart.
Chapter Three
Timber hopped back inside her car on Friday morning after dropping off the last of her deliveries. It was already after ten, which meant she’d probably be late meeting Eva for her hair appointment. But not even the irritating traffic could dampen her mood, considering the ten large orders that she had just taken. In just a mere six months, her homemade line of tranquility products had gone from being a dubious notion to a successful reality. But getting there had not been easy.
It all started after Timber had graduated with her Master’s degree in chemistry and landed a job at Boris Pharmaceuticals, one of the largest drug manufacturers of its kind. Joining Boris’s elite team of chemists was no easy feat, but thanks to her education and high grade point average, internship experience, and Brian’s connections, she was able to make the cut.
Brian had never been more proud of her. And in the beginning, Timber was ecstatic about her new job. She was so looking forward to working on various preventative vaccines, cancer treatments, and cures for common illnesses. But once Timber actually stepped into Boris’s laboratory, she realized that the billion dollar company was more interested in making money than meaningful strides in the health and wellness industry.
It didn’t take long for her to discover that Boris maintained underground relationships with companies whose factories emitted harmful chemicals into the environment. These chemicals caused an infinite number of illnesses and allergies, which was where Boris stepped in. Once the company caught wind of the effects that these chemicals would have on the environment, Boris’s chemists were instructed to formulate medicines that would treat the ailments that they would cause. This, along with creating unsafe diet pills and muscle enhancers that hadn’t received FDA approval and boasted many more results than they actually produced, could not have been further from what Timber wanted to do with her talents. But the most shocking revelation of all came when Timber found out that Boris mass produced harmful and addictive drugs that they unethically tested on animals then sold on the black market, which generated a vast majority of their profits.
Aside from the job being unethical and dissatisfying, it was also extremely stressful. Fourteen-hour days became the norm. Intense pressure to meet unrealistic deadlines and contrive implausible drugs was commonplace. As a result, Timber became sick from stress and exhaustion. Her hair started falling out. She was losing weight at a rapid pace and didn’t have the time or the energy to take proper care of herself.
Eventually, Timber took a leave of absence in an effort to get her life and health back on track. She stopped stressing and started resting again. Her books of inspiration, Pilates classes, fruits, vegetables and water became everyday staples. Those essentials, along with calming oils and soaps, aromatherapy candles and soothing herbal teas all worked together to help get Timber on the road to recovery.
But as she began buying more tranquility products, Timber realized that many of them either contained too many chemicals, or were not created with the most effective blends of scent and herbal combinations. The products' maximum potential was not being met, which meant that the results she was looking to achieve were not being produced. That’s when she decided to take a stab at creating her own products.
Timber began by combining the knowledge that she’d gained from her chemistry education with an extensive amount of research. She then started formulating her own blends of natural oils, herbal teas, candles, soaps and skin care treatments. Once she got through a brief period of trial and error, Timber realized that she’d actually created a full line of products. But it was when she received overwhelmingly positive feedback from Eva and several of her other friends and family members who’d volunteered to try her formulations that she knew she really could be onto something.
Everyone insisted that Timber go into business and start selling her products. But she just didn’t have the time. Her sabbatical from work was coming to an end, and unfortunately, her life would once again revolve around Boris
Pharmaceuticals. The mere thought of microscopes and lab coats, safety goggles and test tubes made her ill. She was so depressed the week before her return to work that Eva drove in to see her.
Eva couldn’t understand why Timber was torturing herself by going back to a job that she despised. She insisted that Timber’s talent, ambition, and savings were all she needed in order to leave Boris and start her own business. Eva convinced her that her products were amazing enough to promote and sell and profit from. She even offered to help Timber start up her business in any way that she possibly could.
That was all Timber needed to hear. The Monday that she was supposed to return to work, she instead emailed a letter of resignation to her lab manager and began her entrepreneurial quest.
After much thought and many suggestions, Timber decided to name her company Soothing Bliss, which was exactly what her products had brought into her life. She hired a web designer, and Eva put together an excellent marketing and advertising campaign. The buzz prompted several salon and storeowners in the area to request samples of Timber’s products. Orders began coming in at a rapid pace. The response was overwhelming. Timber was happier than ever. But surprisingly, Brian was not.
The moment Timber took her leave of absence and went into seclusion, Brian panicked. He thought he had contributed to her unhappiness and sensed that she wanted to leave him. So he rushed out and proposed to her, just to keep Timber in his life. She eagerly accepted without ever questioning his motives. She ignored the fact that he had always stood firm in never wanting to remarry. And she figured that she could simply change his mind about not wanting to have more children.
Right after he proposed, Brian began to constantly question Timber’s dissatisfaction with her job at Boris as well as her need to take a break. She disagreed when he said that she should be honored to work for a company like Boris. She grew resentful every time he mentioned how many strings he’d pulled to get her in there. When she told him that she’d decided to leave Boris for good and run Soothing Bliss full time, he became extremely upset.
The months following the birth of Soothing Bliss were bittersweet for Timber. Bitter because Brian refused to support her, yet sweet because the company was doing so well. Eventually even the sweet side soured when Timber realized that she couldn’t function without his approval. Brian’s negative attitude was making her miserable. He refused to listen to her ideas and plans. He wouldn’t look at her website. And he turned down every offer to try her products.
Timber would never forget the night she and Brian were out to dinner at Hinata Sushi, a small, sleek, minimalistic restaurant that was fairly new in town. She couldn’t wait to update him on how well Soothing Bliss was doing in hopes of finally getting his approval.
“So, babe,” she’d said after the server brought their maki, sashimi and white wine to the table, “I’ve got some really exciting news.”
“What’s that?” Brian asked. “Did you decide to stop trying to turn those concoctions of yours into a career and get back to work at Boris?”
Timber’s mouth fell open in shock. “I’m sorry. What did you just say?”
“Oh, come on sweetheart,” Brian sighed, casually nibbling a sushi roll as if they were talking about the weather. “That bliss idea of yours is a hobby. Your pharmaceutical chemist position at Boris is a profession. Why would you pass up developing essential medicines at a reputable company to stay at home and make all that stuff no one would benefit from?”
Timber shook her head slowly, staring at Brian as a sharp pang hit her in the heart. “I can’t believe you right now. You’re so unsupportive…and wrong! First of all, those concoctions I make are life-changing in that they’re therapeutic and healthier than all the chemically-laced products on the market. Second of all, majority of the medicines being produced at Boris are dangerous and slowly killing people. I don’t want to be a part of that anymore.”
“Seriously, Timber? You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“Third of all,” she continued without acknowledging Brian’s question, “Boris is far from reputable. Your buddies over there are corrupt and have all types of underground agreements with these big companies that are ruining the environment with their disgusting pollution and chemicals.”
“Oh please, now you’re just making things up. Why don’t we end this conversation and just enjoy our dinner?”
“Fine,” Timber spat, glaring at Brian through misty, squinted eyes. Her chest heaved with anger as she struggled to control her breathing. “Oh and by the way, I wanted to share with you that Soothing Bliss had its biggest week in sales to date, and next week is projected to be even bigger.”
“Good for you. By the way, this maki is delicious. You should try it.”
Timber sat back in her chair and sipped her wine, willing herself not to burst into tears.
After that day, Timber and Brian’s relationship continued to deteriorate. She fought to make it work, trying to convince herself that they were still on the same page, but it was painfully obvious that they weren’t. Timber hoped that Brian would somehow come around and support her endeavors, but he didn’t. She attempted to assure herself that having children was not a priority. But it was.
Eventually Timber got fed up. The previous Wednesday she found herself tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep after growing so frustrated over their situation. She jumped up and began pacing the floor, rubbing her temples in frantic frustration. Angry tears of pain streamed down her face as Timber realized she couldn’t do this anymore. That’s when she grabbed her coat and keys and drove over to Brian’s house to confront him. She didn’t care that it was almost three o’clock in the morning, or that she was dressed in a nightgown. He needed to know that he’d ruined what she’d thought would be an amazing future together.
Timber almost crashed into Brian’s garbage can when she slammed on her brakes in front of his house. She stormed up the walkway and banged on the door, now sobbing uncontrollably. He opened it, his eyes wide with shock at the sight of her.
“Timber, what’s going on? Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Yes,” she sputtered, pushing past him and stomping inside. “I can’t do this anymore, Brian. I’m miserable. You’ve been beyond condescending and insensitive towards me, to the point where I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Hold on, hold on,” Brian said, rubbing his eyes and closing the door. He was dressed in boxers and a robe and appeared disoriented. “You came over here in the middle of the night to tell me that you don’t want to be with me anymore? Have you been drinking?”
“No! And see, that’s what I’m talking about! You don’t care about how I feel or take me seriously.”
“That’s not true, Timber. I care about you a great deal, to the point where I know what’s best for you. And I feel obligated to be honest if I see that you’re moving in the wrong direction.”
“You’re not my father, Brian. You’re my partner,” she sobbed, becoming even more exasperated. “I need for you to have my back, and compromise. But you’ve turned into some sort of tyrant, and it’s either your way or no way. I can’t be with someone like that.”
“So that’s it?” Brian asked, his voice now rising. “You’re just gonna throw all this away because I’m looking out for your best interest?”
“If you were looking out for my best interest, you would’ve been there for me over these past several months. You know how hard of a time I was having after leaving Boris. I was depressed, and broken, and just…lost.”
Timber looked over at Brian. His eyes were filled with tears and his face was wrinkled with despair. For a second she felt sorry for him. For the both of them. She couldn’t believe this was happening. But their situation was too far gone to turn back now. She took a deep breath before continuing.
“All I wanted was for you to support me in my decision to leave Boris. But no matter how many times I tried to discuss it with you, you’d blow me off, telling
me I just needed a break and would get back to work soon. You were patronizing when I’d discuss Soothing Bliss. In all honesty, you made me feel stupid, and…and unaccomplished.”
“Now that’s just crazy for you to say,” Brian argued. “You’re one of the brightest people I know, and I‘ve always told you that.”
“Well you don’t act like it,” Timber rebutted. “Bottom line is you don’t approve of how I’m living my life at this point. But I can’t worry about that anymore. From now on, I’m going to start doing what’s best for me.” She pulled the engagement ring from her finger and placed it on the coffee table.
Brian stared at her in mournful shock. He sat down on the couch. Asked her to join him. She did. He was sitting on one end. She sat down on the other end. The space in the middle was empty. Brian seemed miles away. This time he really was.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” Timber responded, thinking back on how it had all started this same way almost six years ago.
“Then don’t do this. Don’t leave me. Think about all the good things between us. You’re willing to just walk away from it all over a couple of minor disagreements?”
“They’re not minor to me, Brian,” Timber insisted, removing her hand from his grasp. “As a matter of fact, they’re not minor at all. Children are major. Soothing Bliss is major. My happiness and well-being are major. But none of those things seem to mean anything to you.” She turned away from him and sighed exasperatedly, stunned that he still just didn’t get it.
“That is not true!” Brian snapped back. “You’ve known how I feel about having children for years, so you can’t throw that up in my face. And I’ve been looking out for your well-being ever since I met you. On top of that, all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy, which is why I worked so hard to help get you through grad school and into a company like Boris. I can’t just watch you throw your education and dream job away. And I won’t even start on how I went against a promise I made to myself years ago to never marry again when I proposed to you….”
The Road To Bliss Page 3
