When the kiss ended, Mario said, "Go ahead and read the card."
Julia reached for the little card, which opened like a tiny book, and read the heading: Butterfly represents courage and transformation. Then she went on to read: Butterfly is the only living being capable of changing its genetic structure during metamorphoses: the caterpillar's DNA is totally different from the butterfly's DNA. Thus, it is the symbol of courage and transformation because Butterfly requires courage to break out of the cocoon and carry out the changes necessary in the process of growth.
Julia placed the tiny card back in the box, and said to Mario, "And because of you, I'm at last coming out of my cocoon. I love you, I love my jewelry box, and I love this exquisite ring." She stretched out her fingers.
Mario took her hand in his, and said, "I'm glad you like it. I've never bought jewelry for a woman before, so I'm not too good at selecting that kind of thing."
Julia looked at him, curious. "What kind of gifts did you buy for women in the past?"
"I'm thinking you really don't want to know," Mario replied. "It will knock this white knight right off his pedestal."
"That would be impossible," Julia said.
"Okay, try a steak dinner at the local pub and I furnish the condoms."
After Julia digested that, she said, "Actually, you were being responsible with the condoms."
"It was self-preservation," Mario replied. "I wasn't exactly family-man material."
"Maybe not then, but you are now," Julia said. "But didn't those women ever want the things most women want when they spend the night with a man?"
"No. The kind of women who gravitate toward macho, male, U.S. Marshals in charge of protecting the Mafioso aren't your average woman. Getting a little inside information about the mob can really grease the wheels of a potential one-nighter, and if she gets a steak dinner and an evening of hot sex, with no ties, she's satisfied." Mario looked askance at her. "Is my pedestal getting a little wobbly by now?"
"No." Julia flashed her ring. "I have it all. First-hand knowledge of the Mafioso, unlimited nights of hot sex, and my macho, male, U.S. Marshal's soul is bound to mine for all eternity."
Mario laughed, kissed her lips, and her jaw, and the side of her neck, and said, "Speaking of hot sex, you told me you had something for me too, and I'm ready to unwrap my gift." He slipped his hand inside Julia's robe, capturing a bare breast.
"That's not my gift," Julia said, pulling his hand away. Going into the bedroom, she returned with a small package wrapped in paper from one of the gifts the Hansen's had given her, and handed it to Mario, who looked at it thoughtfully, and said, "You really did get me something."
"It's not much, just something to let you know how much I love you."
Mario unwrapped the gift, revealing words Julia had hand lettered on a cream-colored poster board that she'd decorated with a spray of delicate dried flowers. When she saw Mario's eyes moving back and forth, she knew he was reading the words she wrote: I waited and you didn't come. I willed you to be in my life and the years passed without you. I looked for your face in crowds that made me anxious. But the moment you recognized me, I stopped breathing, because you'd captured my soul with your gaze. I love you for all eternity.
After he'd finished reading, Mario turned to Julia, kissed her gently, and said, "I'm just a glorified cop. I don't have the words to tell you how much this means to me."
"That's okay," Julia said. "Those words didn't begin to tell you what I feel either, because love can't be fully expressed with words. But if you want to keep what I wrote private, you can turn it around, because I slipped a picture of me behind it."
Mario flipped the frame around, and smiled. "Can we have it reframed?" he asked. "I want to see both you and your poem, and I want to hang it up so the world knows how lucky I am."
"Honey, you can do whatever makes you happy, but for this New Year's Eve, all I want is to curl up in bed with you and imagine the big brass ball descending on Times Square at midnight."
"I've never understood that ball thing," Mario said.
"Neither have I, but I guess it's entertainment," Julia replied.
"I'll go for curling up in bed, and I'll provide a couple of balls to entertain you until midnight."
Julia laughed, headed for the bedroom, tossed her robe over the foot of the bed and waited under the covers for Mario to join her, where they cuddled and kissed and made love one more time before the night became alive with the popping of firecrackers, and they knew midnight had come. Running his fingers through Julia's hair, Mario kissed her long, and lovingly, and said, "Happy New Year, sweetheart."
Julia looked up at him in surprise. "Have you ever called a woman that before?"
"You already know the answer to that," Mario said. "You're my soulmate, the only woman I'll ever love."
"I don't know if you're serious about soulmates," Julia said, "but it would make me happy to think you embrace the notion that our souls have been together from the beginning of time, and since there's no past, present, or future when speaking of eternity, only an endlessly changing present, our souls will always be together."
"Okay, I'll go along with it to make you happy," Mario said. "Besides, how else can you explain this old bachelor, with a face like a hit man, making sweet talk to a beautiful woman who could have any man she wants, and still wants him?"
"It's the tights," Julia said. "Since the beginning of time, I've had this thing about men in tights. But you're also pretty impressive without them."
Mario laughed, pulled her against him, and said in a more serious tone, "I love you, sweetheart, and I never want to sleep alone again. It's going to be hell without you when I fly to San Francisco, in a couple of days."
"So soon?" Julia asked.
"I wish it was sooner," Mario replied. "In the meantime, let's plan on getting married as soon after I get back as possible so we can start the adoption process. While I'm in San Francisco I'll also look into temporary housing until we can buy a house, but I'll leave that to you. Whatever you want is fine with me, except I want a room where we can work out and hang a punching bag, and we'll turn over that bag I got you to the kids."
Julia snuggled against Mario, put her arm across his chest, and tucked her head into the hollow of his shoulder and tried not to think of living on top of an earthquake fault, but her last image before drifting off was of a warped and twisted highway section with giant gaping holes…
Several hours later, Julia awakened, drenched in sweat. Even her pillow and the sheets beneath her were soaked. When she threw off the covers, Mario woke up, and said, "What's going on?" When Julia said nothing because she was still dazed from her dream, Mario turned on the light, and looking at her soaking wet body, said, "You had one of those night sweats you were talking about. Has this been happening often?"
Julia shook her head. "Not for a few years." She said nothing more, but the image came back of the earth opening up while she tried to hold onto both sides while slowly losing her grip, then falling but never reaching the bottom before the walls began closing against her. By then, she was shaking so hard, Mario became alarmed.
Pulling her into his arms, he said, "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No," Julia replied. "I just want the images to go away. Maybe we could take a shower. It would wash away the sweat, and the warm water would help me sleep."
"Come on then." Mario took her hand and led her to the bathroom.
Once in the shower, with the water rushing against Julia's back, and Mario holding her in his arms, Julia put her face against his warm, wet chest and tried not to envision the images that had been plaguing her ever since she went on the internet, but she didn't want Mario to know that was the cause of her nightmare.
After they'd dried off, and while they were still in the bathroom, Mario tipped her face up and looked at her, and said, "You're not breathing as heavily as you were. Are you okay now?"
"I think I am," Julia replied, although she dreaded fallin
g asleep again because the nightmare was still haunting her. In her mind's eye she could see the sliver of light far above the crack she'd fallen into, slowly being shut off as the earth walls began closing in, not unlike the way the light had been blocked off after the bombing, throwing her and Mario into total darkness.
After they were back in bed, and Mario was holding her against him, he said, "Maybe I've been pushing you too hard, or the snowslide could have triggered the dream."
"Probably the snowslide," Julia said. "But what you've been having me do is exactly what I've needed. I know that didn't trigger the night sweats, and it probably won't happen again." She glided her hand over Mario's chest and cuddled closer. "Just feeling the length of your body against mine helps. I can probably sleep now."
She rested her head in the hollow of Mario's shoulder and closed her eyes, but still, sleep wouldn't come, and if she couldn't sleep, hundreds of miles from where they'd soon be moving, how could she ever sleep while living on top of an earthquake fault?
CHAPTER 18
The following morning, while Mario was in his cabin running a load of wash, Julia paused between two-minute rounds of punches to look at the activity beyond her window. Two weeks ago, this was the day she'd been anxiously awaiting, the day when all the guests would leave, and the ranch would close until spring. Little did she know that she too would be leaving, and with the man she'd dreamed of having in her life since she was twenty-one. It was also the day she and Mario would announce their engagement.
Jeremy, Josh, and Ryan, and their families, would be returning to eastern Oregon the following day, and Roberta and Bill would be returning to Wyoming to sell the ranch, so a big family gathering was planned at the lodge to see everyone off. Hence, Mario's suggestion that they use the occasion to announce their plans to everyone in general instead of sharing it, one-on-one, with Roberta and Julia's grandfather, and Julia was fine with that.
But for the moment, Julia needed to punch her bag and try to get back that feeling of empowerment. The dream still haunted her, and the night sweats had alerted Mario to what she'd been talking about when she tried to explain it to him before. But mainly, she needed the feeling of releasing the endorphins that Mario talked about. She didn't understand it, but she knew boxing was a good stress release because after a good workout, things were always better.
Returning to the bag, she set her timer and started into another two-minute round.
Jab, jab, double jab, left hook, right hook, uppercut...
As she punched, she envisioned pummeling her opponent, which wasn't the ogre, but instead, online images she'd been foolish enough to look at.
The jab impact comes from the way you thrust your arm, Mario told her the last time he'd worked out with her. You need to flick your arm quickly. It's all about quickness of motion.
Jab, jab, right cross. Chin down. Elbows in. Left jab, right cross, left hook.
She knew she was overdoing things with the two-minute rounds with one-minute breaks in between, and she'd lost track of how many rounds she'd done, but she needed the physical outlet. Twenty years ago she was too emotionally crippled to follow the dream of the man she was engaged to, but she couldn't hold Mario back from his dream, and she would overcome her fear of moving to a place where the earth opened up…
Jab, jab. No fears. No earthquakes. Right uppercut, left hook. Jab, jab. No highway opening up. Jab, jab, right cross, left hook, jab, jab…
"Julia! Take it easy."
Jab, jab, right, left hook body. No buildings sinking into a slurry. Jab, jab, hard right, left hook body, left hook head. No ground breaking and falling away. Jab, right upper cut…
"Sweetheart!" Mario's hands were around her middle, pulling her away from the bag. Her heart racing, Julia slumped forward against Mario arms and tried to catch her breath.
"Honey, you're going at this too aggressively," Mario said. "How long have you been at it?"
"I… don't… know… I… lost... track," Julia said between breaths, wondering when Mario had entered the cabin. She sucked in a long, deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've been doing… two-minute rounds."
"Because of the dream?" Mario asked.
Julia nodded, and when her breathing finally settled, she said, "I'm not going to let my fears get the best of me again."
"Honey, turn around."
Julia turned and looked up at Mario.
"I love you and I'll be with you for the rest of your life," he said. "Anytime you wake up with night sweats, or have a bad dream, or can't sleep, I'll be at your side and we'll shower, or have sex, or I'll just hold you. But you don't have to do this alone." He grabbed the towel she'd tossed over a chair and blotted her face and chest.
It wasn't until then that Julia realized how exhausted she was. The muscles in her stomach hurt, her arms ached, and her gloves felt like lead weights.
"Let's get these off," Mario said, while unlacing one of her gloves. "You need to pace yourself. Every punch engages all the muscles in your arms, and you pull strength and energy from the lower body to deliver a strong punch, but you're not conditioned yet, and you're doing too much heavy bag work. And you need to do more shadow boxing."
"I did shadowbox before I started," Julia said. "What I want is to soak in a tub of hot water."
"You need to stretch all your major muscles first, with every stretch lasting eight seconds." Mario unwrapped her hands, and looking at her fingers, he said, "And you need me to wrap your hands. Your fingers are white because you've wrapped your hands too tight. Come on, I'll help you do some stretches to cool down, then you need to eat, and then you can soak in the tub."
Julia was too exhausted to argue, so she followed along with Mario as he guided her through some stretching exercises. But when they were done, she lowered herself onto the couch, slumped back, and said in a weary voice, "I hate this."
"Boxing?" Mario asked.
"No, all this emotional garbage," Julia said. "All I want is to make you happy, and I can't even do that."
"You're going to marry me," Mario said. "You're giving me you. How can I not be happy?"
"Because along with me you're also getting all my phobic, neurotic, hang-ups."
"I can live with that," Mario said. "For now, go soak in your tub and I'll feed you while you soak, since we only have twenty minutes before everyone will be at the lodge and we'll be making our announcement." He took her hand and pulled her up, then nudged her toward the bathroom.
Once the tub was filled up to the overflow drain, Julia sank into the warm water and closed her eyes and waited for Mario to come. She liked the idea of him sitting by the tub and feeding her. It seemed natural; the kind of thing a husband would do for his wife. Everything with Mario seemed natural. There was nothing about her body she wanted to hide from him, and everything about his was as perfect as a male body could be. His was the complement to hers, and when they made love, she felt whole, like no pieces were missing from the puzzle. And after only two weeks, she couldn't imagine life without him.
A few minutes later he walked in holding a plate, and sitting on the toilet lid, said to her, "After a workout you need protein and carbs to restore energy, repair muscles, and replenish the glycogen in your blood as fast as possible." He handed her a small bottle of orange juice. "I found a hardboiled egg and some yogurt, so that's enough for now."
After Julia drank the orange juice, she said, "You're spoiling me. I just might expect dinner in the bathtub every night."
Mario handed her a hardboiled egg wedge. "Then you'd better expect a man in there with you, and the first thing we'll do, when we get our house, will be to remodel the bath and put in a double tub."
"That sounds wonderful." Julia ate the rest of the egg, then opened her mouth for the spoonful of yogurt Mario was offering. After finishing what was in the small carton, she said, "Have you ever done this with a woman before?"
Mario laughed. "Maybe you're familiar with the expression, 'Wham, bam, thank you ma'am.' That about sum
s it up. But I've never been engaged to a lady boxer either."
"Maybe I will be that someday," Julia said, dreamily, feeling pampered, and loved, and more determined than ever to conquer her fears of moving to earthquake country, and be the wife Mario deserved.
After she'd dried and dressed, she lifted the ring from its slot in the jewelry box and slipped it on her finger, and when she held up her hand, she felt unending love for the man who'd selected the ring, knowing he'd picked a ring with two diamonds to represent them. It also touched her deeply that Mario held her in such high regard, she was the only woman to be given romantic gifts, or to be the receiver of endearments, which made her love him all the more.
Mario came up behind her, and reaching around, took her hand in his and held it up so light sparkled off the diamonds, and said, "How about this. That vine wrapping around the diamonds is a vine of destiny, laying out all the coincidences that brought us together."
Julia turned around to find the most engaging smile on Mario's lips. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she said, "You really are turning into a romantic."
"I know," Mario replied. "Just don't let word get out. It would blow my macho, male image. Speaking of which, we'd better get on over to the lodge and let everyone know that a beautiful woman found a chink in my body armor and shoved an arrow in my heart."
Julia laughed, kissed him lightly, and left the cabin with him.
The lodge was abuzz with couples, kids, babies, and chatter. Oddly, Julia didn't feel her usual claustrophobic symptoms, maybe because Mario was with her. Still, she said to him, as they stood just inside the rear entrance, "Can we sit back here? I'm not ready for all the attention we'll get from the young wives if they see my ring before we make our announcement. When they figured out how I felt about you, they were all ready to start playing matchmaker."
Mario looked askance at her. "I'm thinking that was during the hen party you told me about, when you found out I—"
"Danced ballet," Julia cut in. "I have a vivid imagination, and it went a little schizophrenic then, imagining you in tights, then in night-vision goggles while carrying a submachine gun, then on your belly playing marbles, then buying me a sports bra with Wonder Woman inserts."
Finding Justice (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 12) Page 21
