by S M Mala
‘I might want it, but it’s not going to happen.’ His smile slipped, and he stared at her. ‘You’re very pretty, Maddy, have I told you that?’
‘No, you haven’t, but I’m pleased you think so. It’d be quite horrible for you if you looked at my face and didn’t like it, maybe off-putting.’ Maddy grinned. ‘I think you have a beautiful face, so you know.’
‘You mean handsome.’
‘No, I mean beautiful.’ She swallowed hard. ‘I like looking at it.’ Then Maddy peered down at Phyllis. ‘But she’s prettier than the pair of us.’
‘Come here.’
Stan pushed her back onto the sofa, making sure that Phyllis wasn’t getting squashed. His lips were millimeters away from her mouth.
Then he kissed her like he hadn’t done before.
It was strong and tender as his fingers weaved into her hair.
Maddy couldn’t breathe.
The sensation in her chest was overwhelming.
It was her who had to pull away.
‘I want you to like me,’ she blurted out. ‘Don’t pretend if that’s not how you feel. It would break my heart to think that you didn’t care, and this was just messing about.’
‘Is this your declaration of love?’ he laughed, instantly making Maddy recoil out of embarrassment.
‘No!’ she replied, pushing him away and trying to stand, but her legs felt wobbly after the kiss. ‘I’m just telling you, that’s all.’
He yanked her back down and put Phyllis on the opposite side so as not to squash her.
‘And even if it was,’ she said, seeing he was trying to throw his arms around her as she tried to push him away. ‘You don’t have to be mean about it.’
‘Irritant,’ he said, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and pulling Maddy closer. ‘Bloody irritant, that’s what you are.’
Phyllis then stood up and barked.
‘She doesn’t agree!’
‘She does.’
‘She’s my friend.’
‘I’m your friend,’ he said, with a gentle expression in his eyes. ‘I’m not messing about, and you shouldn’t ask if I like you. You know I like you a lot more than I ever imagined.’
‘Then you didn’t imagine liking me?’ she asked, her heart beating faster.
‘I didn’t like you that much when we first met.’ Stan grimaced. ‘For about a week or so.’
‘Oh.’ She felt deflated then turned to look at him. ‘That long? But I’m nice. What do you mean ‘or so’?’
‘Maybe a little bit longer because of this and that?’
‘This and that? Considering you are paid to write, your English language is a little off. What do you mean?’
‘Madeleine Berkeley, you are a little strange. I didn’t believe that people like you exist. I thought they were characters in children’s books and-.’
‘Don’t insult me,’ she replied, putting her hand on his face. ‘Not after what you did to me upstairs. That would just make me cross.’ Maddy realised he was squeezing her tighter. ‘If this is your way to dampen my feelings for you, well, it’s working!’
‘You fell for me the minute you laid eyes on me. I could tell. That bloody tail of yours kept shaking in my direction every time you didn’t think I was looking. Then you’d glance over your shoulder and flutter your eyelashes at me.’ Stan laughed and kissed her cheeks as she scowled in response, knowing he had completely rumbled her. ‘Your beautiful little face gives the game away.’
‘No, it doesn’t!’
‘Like a book,’ he sighed. ‘Maybe that’s why I like you because I love books.’
‘Now you’re comparing me to cardboard and paper. Next, you’ll be saying my raincoat is the laminated jacket cover.’
‘With my favourite books, I like running my fingers over the pages and dipping into them again and again.’ There was a wicked smile appearing. ‘You never want to put them down.’
‘Is that your sexy talk?’ Maddy started to grin. ‘I can do sexy talk.’
‘I bet you can’t.’
Taking a deep breath, she looked into his eyes knowing she was in love with the wordsmith but wanted to impress him.
‘Your winky is bigger than it looks,’ Maddy whispered as he laughed. ‘Told you I could be sexy.’
‘We don’t know each other.’
Maddy was grinning at him non-stop. ‘I’ve never met you before.’
‘Seriously?’ he laughed out loud and shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘Let’s just keep this between us for now. We can tell the whole world in a few weeks and watch them look gobsmacked.’
‘Why gobsmacked?’ she asked, seriously thinking he was going to be mean.
‘Because since I kissed you, that’s what I’ve been.’ Stan leaned down and was going to kiss her before realising where they were
Both stood outside the pub on Sunday.
Her heart was fit to burst as they had made love again and again. Even she was surprised that he had it in him and Phyllis didn’t seem upset. She kept out of the way probably because she was bored watching them.
Maddy wasn’t bored at all and could have kept going non-stop.
‘Do you think I’m hot in between the sheets?’ she asked, pulling the collar away from her neck.
‘You are on heat, I’ll give you that much and very, very accommodating.’ Stan let out a little sigh. ‘Don’t smile or touch me, okay? I might forget and try to kiss you. Given what happened with Pearl, we’re going to have to look serious.’ Then he cleared his throat. ‘Ted’s in there.’
‘I forgive him,’ she said, turning up her nose. ‘He was good to Pearl now but a bastard all those years ago.’
‘He was a teenager.’
‘They’re the worst.’ She frowned and looked up at him. ‘I should know.’
‘Don’t look at me like that,’ he whimpered. ‘It makes me want to rip off your knickers and bury my head-.’
‘Hello there!’ Ted said, flinging open the pub door, smiling at them brightly as Maddy glared at him. ‘We need to talk, you and I.’
‘You are a bad dog, and you know what I mean.’ Maddy gulped hard because she was still angry with him. ‘You should never lie to me, but you did. How could you have touched that piece of filth?’
‘Maddy!’ Ted replied, looking shocked. ‘I was young and hormonal. Pearl forgave me.’
‘Well, silly old her then!’
She barged past him and into the pub seeing the array of familiar faces. Phyllis had been let in five minutes earlier and was currently being fed sausages by one of Ted’s friends.
Suddenly she remembered putting her mouth around Stan’s very own sausage and loving it.
‘You look hot,’ Ted said, shaking his head. ‘Take off your suit.’
‘It’s very warm in here. Has the fire been put on?’ Maddy was waving her hand in front of her face and trying not to look at Stan, who was standing at her side. ‘I think I need a big drink and to sit in the garden, in the shade.’
‘I’ll get you one,’ Stan said, nodding to some of the people saying ‘hello’ to him.
She made a mental note that they weren’t saying anything to her other than smiling.
‘Bunch of weirdos,’ she mumbled then turned to Stan. ‘You can’t buy me a drink. Ted is going to get me about three large glasses today, aren’t you?’ Ted rolled his eyes. ‘And my lunch.’
‘Yes,’ he said and went off to the bar.
‘I’ll give you three large ones tonight, if you’d like,’ whispered Stan, discreetly trying to touch her arse.
‘Get your mucky paws off me!’ she hissed, trying not to grin so pouted instead. ‘You probably have fleas!’
Then she walked off, turning to look at him and pulled the string in her tail to wiggle it in this direction. She spotted Eugene watching her and then Stan.
Going towards one of the empty outside tables, she called Phyllis who dutifully ran towards her.
‘Now pooch, we need to put you in the shade and ge
t some water.’ Maddy looked around and found a good place to sit, not too much in the sun. ‘We only get hot when there’s direct sunshine.’ She sat down and so did Phyllis in the grass. ‘Water and wine are all we need.’
Examining the garden, it was filling up, and Stan was laughing with Ted.
‘And as for my old buddy, he thinks he’s getting away with it, but he isn’t. Tara slut features indeed. You wait. When Pearl is better, he’s going to get it.’ When she looked down, Phyllis wasn’t listening. She was looking at something. Maddy realised what. ‘That’s a cockapoo! Don’t you dare go near him! Your daddy will go mad!’
Examining the dog, Maddy thought there was something trashy and snotty about the mutt. The light brown colouring reminded her of someone, but she couldn’t see the owner as people were standing in her way,
‘Are you talking to yourself?’ Ted asked sheepishly as he arrived at the table with a large glass of wine and a pint of cider. ‘Can I sit?’
‘Can I stop you?’ Maddy pushed her nose up into the air and took a deep breath. ‘You were really good about Pearl, and I’m grateful. I didn’t know who else to call.’
‘I’m your friend. You can rely on me.’
‘But can I?’ Maddy looked at him trying to hide a smirk. ‘I’m deeply hurt by your deceit. It might take some time.’
‘At the time you weren’t in a good place, and I didn’t want to tip you over the edge,’ he whispered. ‘I knew if I said it wouldn’t only be a betrayal to Pearl, but I had let you down. Maddy, you were so fragile back then, with the eating disorder and-.’
‘No!’ She put her hand over his mouth. ‘Don’t say that. I was upset, and I can control it. It won’t ever happen again, and I can cope.’ Ted removed her hand and kissed the top. ‘You shouldn’t stop from telling me the truth. I don’t like being lied to, even less than being bullied. I promise you I won’t ever be sick again.’
‘You said that but when your grandmother died and-.’
‘Small blip and I was upset.’ Maddy didn’t want anyone to hear what was said. ‘Ted, I’m angry with you, but I’m not going to waste good food over her. Never again! Besides, it upsets me when I’m sick as I know I’ve let myself down and the people who love me.’ She flung her arms around him. ‘I forgive you for being a man! Or to be precise, a teenage boy with uncontrollable hormones!’ Burying her face in his neck, she smiled. ‘But you don’t’ go out with Tara, even if you’re desperate or we’re finished.’
Ted kissed her head then laughed as he pushed Maddy away.
‘You look, I don’t know. Very well,’ he said, pushing the hood off her costume. Then Ted narrowed his eyes. ‘What were you talking to Stan about outside?’
‘Who?’ Maddy looked at him quizzically. ‘Oh, Stan?’
‘Yes, Stan.’ Ted cleared his throat. ‘TJ said that he kept your company when Pearl was in the hospital.’
‘Did he?’ She glanced over to see where the man in question was. ‘Yes, he did. As he has the keys to my flat, he got me some clothes.’
‘I’ve got keys to your flat.’
‘But you were with Pearl.’ Maddy was pleased with her answer. ‘How’s Stasia?’
‘Dunno.’ There was a shrug of the shoulders. ‘Spending time with her new man.’
‘And you’re not bothered?’
‘No. To be honest, I’m relieved.’
‘Don’t say that in front of Stan. He’d be a little-pissed off and-.’
‘No, I’m not!’ Stan said, making her jump before sitting opposite her. ‘She’s bloody high maintenance.’
Right then, she had forgotten how handsome and sexy he was, smiling at Ted when he tipped back his hat.
‘That’s not a nice thing to say about your sister.’ She shook her head and sipped her wine, seriously trying not to eye him up any more than legally allowed before being called a lecherous hag. ‘I like her.’
‘You like her because you like me.’ And then he smiled which got Maddy flustered. ‘And you’re protective of young Ted here. I’m pleased you made up. She does have a forgiving heart then.’
‘I have a very forgiving heart, I have you know, though I do bear a grudge.’ Maddy flashed a glance at Ted. ‘Especially against those who upset the people I love.’ Then she glanced at people eating, then at the barbeque. ‘Can I have a hot dog please, Ted?’
‘No burger!’ he asked, feigning shock. ‘What’s wrong with you?’
‘I want sausage with mustard and tomato ketchup but no onions. Kevin either gets the chef to burn them, or they’re raw. I can’t be doing with the anticipation of knowing what it’s going to be. And hold off the bun.’ She looked at Stan. ‘What would you like?’
‘I fancy a burger.’ He grinned then reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and handing Ted a large note. ‘Buy something for yourself as well. I’m feeling generous.’
‘Fine. I’ll go and put the order through.’ Ted got up and walked away.
Maddy smiled at Stan.
‘You have to stop grinning,’ he said, sipping his beer. ‘It makes me smile which isn’t the look I’m aiming for.’
‘What looks is that?’
‘Annoyance.’
She let out a little sigh and sipped her wine, watching the others join the table.
The same old thing happened.
Handshakes and smiles for Stan.
Nods and grunts for her.
Stan then stood up.
‘Where are you going?’ she asked, seeing she was left on her own.
‘I’ve got to get some water for Phyllis,’ he replied. ‘And try to behave, okay?’
She sat there and heard the chatter and laughter of the others knowing they had left spaces beside her for both the guys to return.
‘I get used to the isolation of being on the outside, looking in,’ Maddy sighed to herself, looking up at the sky. ‘The feeling of invisibility.’
‘You’re certainly not invisible with your outfit,’ piped up Stuart who was sitting further on down the table.
‘Why don’t you shake my hand and speak to me then?’ she asked watching the man shake his head and turn to look at her. ‘You’re very welcoming to all Ted’s new friends but not to me.’
‘Maddy, that’s’ not true. You’re not exactly welcoming to his friends, are you?’
‘What does that mean?’ She folded her arms and glared at him. ‘I’m a very friendly person.’
‘You growl.’
‘I do not!’
‘Yes, you do!’ laughed out Stuart as the others pretended not to listen but she knew they were. ‘You’re not the friendliest puppy.’
‘I am not a dog if that’s what you’re implying!’
‘Not at all!’ He moved closer as she glared then he stopped. ‘You’re his very dearest friend, as you like to point out when he introduces new people, mainly women. And sometimes, you’re not that easy to figure out.’
‘What’s there to figure out?’ she laughed seeing Stan walking back to the table. ‘I’m normal.’
‘You are?’ Stuart pulled a face. ‘You walk around in a dog suit.’
‘Only on Sunday when I visit the hospice.’
‘What about in winter,’ he smirked.
‘It gets cold.’ She replied as Stan sat back down and looked puzzled. ‘And I don’t all the time.’
‘Your clothes,’ Eugene said, who she hadn’t seen sitting beside Stuart, due to how small he was. ‘The dots and bows?’
‘They’re happy outfits and don’t you go criticising how I dress. I like polka dots!’
‘I see you’re getting on with everyone then?’ asked Stan, shaking his head from side to side.
‘I’m surprised you’re even speaking to Stan,’ continued Eugene who leaned over the table. ‘You never speak to anyone!’
‘Look here!’ she said, getting to her feet. ‘I speak to you, don’t I?’ Then she looked down the table suddenly noticing something. ‘Where are all the women?’
‘They decided to have a Sunday picnic together to get away from us,’ Stuart sheepishly said. ‘Gone to a pub by the river.’
‘And they didn’t even ask me!’ Maddy said, feeling relieved as she sat back down. ‘I am ostracised once again, even by people I gladly meet on a Sunday. Well, carry on like that if you wish.’
‘They don’t ask you because you have made it clear you think they all secretly fancy Ted! And I tell you something for a fact, they don’t!’ Eugene pulled away. ‘Especially not my woman.’
‘Yes, I came to the conclusion ages ago they’re all a bunch of fruitcakes,’ she mumbled, feeling Stan gently kick her shin. ‘If I’m one, I can say it.’ Thinking for a moment, she turned to Stuart and Eugene. ‘Why are you surprised I speak to Stan?’
‘Because his sister was Ted’s girlfriend?’ Gary, who hardly ever spoke, said then laughed. ‘And that’s new territory for you.’
‘I’m not liking what you’re implying. I am protective of Ted because he is one of my best friends and I love him dearly. All these women throwing themselves at him is not healthy for them or him.’ She turned to Stan. ‘Not Stasia though.’
‘Oh, she did throw herself at him,’ he replied then grinned. ‘Other than you. You don’t seem to take the bait.’
‘Maybe I like the taste of something different,’ she mumbled, sheepishly smiling.
‘When are they coming?’ someone shouted to Ted as he walked back to the table with her sausage.
‘Who?’ she asked, looking around. ‘Who’s coming?’
‘Ah,’ Ted said and stopped next to her. ‘I’ve got some friends joining us.’
‘What friends?’ she asked looking at the large sausage and the mustard/ketchup squeezed in wobbly lines down them. ‘Perfect!’
‘Colleagues,’ he replied and sat next to her before turning to Stan. ‘Our food’s coming in a minute. They’re just toasting the buns and-.’
‘Models?’ Maddy knew something was up as the women always reared their over made up heads on a Sunday, mainly batting eyelids at Ted – and more recently Stan. ‘I see. You boys are something special, do you know that? No wonder women become nuns.’ Then she looked at Stan who was smiling at her. ‘You knew?’
