“Perhaps invite her to dinner at the estate, but do not set any expectations. If she is still not interested in you, I might suggest you prepare to have your heart broken,” Lord Kenilworth said. “Provided you have a heart in the first place.”
“How rude,” the duke muttered.
“Cousin, it is rather refreshing to speak with you of these things. Your father would have been proud of the man you are becoming,” Lord Kenilworth said.
“Would he? He spent his live with a woman he could not stand, and who could not stand him in return. He practically told me that there was no such thing as love and that I should not waste my time. He was miserable until the day he left this earth.”
“Your father would be proud as you have done what he could not. You’ve developed feelings for someone,” Lord Kenilworth explained and the duke glanced at him. “Your father was a great man, powerful and influential, and he played his part as a loving husband very well. He was a good father to you, and under the circumstances he taught you well, but what he taught you of love was clearly a momentary lack of judgment on his part, and you should not take that seriously. Perhaps he only meant it because he never felt it. You have. It is your duty to prove to him that he was mistaken.”
The duke stared blankly at Lord Kenilworth, who knew him better than anyone, but did not utter a word.
“Is it safe to assume that you will not be joining me this evening?” Lord Kenilworth asked.
The duke’s brow furrowed with confusion.
“The ball hosted by Lady Grosvenor at Milkwood Manor. There will be many young women attending who could take your mind off the dilemma you face.”
The duke pondered for a moment, considering Lord Kenilworth’s words, and nodded. “Perhaps it would be a good choice for me to accompany you. It ought to be a welcome distraction.”
“Wonderful. Shall I wait for you in the parlor?”
***
Maria watched as the duke’s coach rode down the pathway to the road. She bit her bottom lip. She had seen the duke and Lord Kenilworth exit the manor house a few moments prior, dressed in their fine and formal attire, and her heart had sunk in her chest. She was not in the least surprised that the duke had agreed to accompany Lord Kenilworth to wherever he wished to go, but she felt rather uneasy about it. She shifted her weight as she wondered if the duke would have a guest at the estate for the night, and a shudder ripped through her body. She felt nauseated at the thought and turned away from the window, unable to watch the coach disappear.
“You seem upset, Maria,” Anna said, suddenly beside her, and Maria’s eyes widened.
“Anna. I did not see you there,” she gasped, and pressed her hand against her chest.
“Is everything all right?” Anna asked.
“I was merely looking out the window at the coach leaving the estate. Do you perhaps know where His Grace and Lord Kenilworth are going?”
“Oh, they are attending a ball hosted by some earl. I am not entirely certain. I heard it being spoken of by Clara-belle, but her word holds no credibility for the most part.”
“Indeed,” Maria muttered and briefly gazed out the window again.
Her brow furrowed as she knew there would be an abundance of beautiful young women clothed in exquisite gowns falling at the duke’s feet. The odds that he would bring one of those young ladies back to the estate were quite favorable, and this upset Maria more than she wished it to.
As much as she attempted to control her emotions, her eyes welled up with tears and she stormed out of the room.
***
Still feeling upset by the time the moon was high in the sky, Maria sat on the low stone wall and stared down at the dark valley in the distance. She pretended not to hear the duke’s coach return, the hooves of the horses clicking and shuffling against the crushed stones. She pretended not to notice the entry door open and shut, and she pretended not to be bothered by the thought of the duke with another woman who he would only reject and discard before morning.
Those thoughts saddened and angered her simultaneously, but she was powerless to do anything regarding the situation.
Although one might think she would not have heard a pair of footsteps on the grass, approaching her from behind, as she was too consumed by her thoughts, the sound caused her to break free of her trance, and she glanced over her shoulder. Much to her surprise, the duke stood only a few feet away from her, still dressed in his formal attire. The moonlight accentuated his handsome features, and a breathless gasp escaped Maria’s throat.
“Your Grace,” she said in an apologetic tone and slid off the low wall.
“Please do not allow me to cut up your peace. I did not mean to startle you.”
“I did not expect Your Grace to be here. I had finished my tasks for the evening and—”
“Please, I am not here for you to report back to me, or to have you apologize for enjoying the peaceful night air.”
Maria nodded slowly, gratefully, and sat on the low wall once again.
“It is truly a beautiful evening,” the duke sighed, and placed his hands on the low wall.
“Indeed it is, Your Grace. Did your Grace have a lovely evening?” she asked, but instantly cringed as she realized her words were out of bounds.
Much to her relief, he did not seem upset at all. A slight smile graced his lips for a moment, before he answered. “It was a lovely evening. I enjoyed Lord Kenilworth’s company.”
Maria wondered what was the matter, as his reply was concise, but vague. Perhaps he had given up his ways, or perhaps there were no more women who were willing to be nothing but temporary pleasures to him.
Neither seemed very likely to Maria.
“Maria, may I ask you a question?” the duke asked.
“Certainly, Your Grace.”
“You speak very well, very eloquently. Why is that?” he asked.
“How else am I supposed to speak, Your Grace?” she asked.
The duke smiled and lowered his gaze. “I did not mean to offend you, Maria. I was merely asking a question. I know nothing of you, except your name, yet I cannot seem to contain myself from speaking with you.”
Maria glanced at him with an apprehensive expression. “My mother read to me as a child, and I used to accompany my father while he visited patients. Nobles mostly. I suppose I listened and mimicked it. I listen very well.”
“Your father visits patients. Is he a physician?”
“Indeed. Dr. Herbert Trew.”
“Dr. Herbert is your father?” he exclaimed and Maria nodded. “I have met him quite a few times. He tended to Lord Kenilworth’s father when he was ill.”
“I was not aware of that.”
“That’s rather extraordinary. How is your father?”
“He is well. He works hard. There are many women giving birth these days. Perhaps there is something in the air,” Maria chuckled.
“I hope I do not catch it,” the duke chuckled as well. “Tell me. Have you enjoyed your time here?”
Maria’s smile faded, as dread filled her to the core. Was he about to ask her to leave? Had she overstepped her boundaries? Was this conversation a test? Had she failed?
“I have, Your Grace. Not only is the estate lovely and the staff kind and helpful, but I feel as though I am a part of their family and this has become my home,” she answered carefully.
“That is wonderful to hear. I have spoken to Anna and Clara-belle about you, and they have nothing but kind words to speak of you,” the duke stated.
“Your Grace spoke to Anna and Clara-belle about me?” she asked, a lump quickly forming in her throat.
“Indeed. As I mentioned to you before, I wish to know those who work for me,” the duke explained and turned to her as he sat on the edge of the stone wall. “Tell me about yourself, Maria.”
“Very well,” she answered and took a deep breath. “I was born here in Westhampshire. I have two younger sisters who take care of my father and our home while I am here at the estate
. My mother passed when I was eleven, and I have been caring for my sisters and my father ever since.”
“My condolences for the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is a traumatic and dire occurrence, and I would not wish it upon anyone. Not even people I consider my enemies,” the duke said sincerely.
“Your Grace has enemies?” she asked and raised her brow.
The duke shuffled uncomfortably. “It is no secret that my behavior of late has been somewhat troubling and unsettling. “
“I do not understand.”
“Do not pretend to be oblivious simply for my sake. You may speak freely,” he scoffed. “I am aware that you have noticed the women who leave the estate. I am also aware that all the staff knows about it.”
“Your Grace, if I may, this is your estate, your home, and you do not need to explain yourself, especially not to me. I am merely a maid.”
“Perhaps, but this is your home, as you mentioned.”
“Your Grace, why are you speaking to me regarding this?” she asked. “Why not speak to all your staff and clarify any misunderstandings or misconceptions?”
“Because it is your opinion which matters most to me,” he answered.
“And why is that?”
“I am not yet certain,” the duke answered and reached for a lock of golden hair, bathed in the silver light of the moon, and tucked it behind her ear.
Maria’s skin burned under his touch and she was unable to tear her eyes away from his dark brown gaze. It penetrated deep into her soul, and her heart pounded viciously and painfully in her chest, causing her breathing to become strained.
Though there was nothing Maria wished more than for the duke to kiss her, she did not wish to become one of his directionless and insignificant pursuits. She also did not wish to be used merely because the duke showed an interest in her—which in her opinion seemed rather far-fetched.
Maria moved away, sliding off the edge of the low stone wall, and stepped onto the grass.
“I apologize, Your Grace. I do not think this is appropriate.”
“There is no need to apologize. I should not have acted so rashly.”
Maria glanced at him and nodded slightly.
“May I ask you another question, Maria?”
“If Your Grace wishes.”
The duke pursed his lips and straightened his shoulders. “Do you believe someone is able to change?”
“In which way, Your Grace?”
“His behavior, the manner in which he treats people, the manner in which others see him?” the duke asked.
Maria glanced at the duke and wondered whether he was referring to himself. It would be quite a revelation if so. Their gazes locked once more and Maria cleared her throat.
“I believe a person is capable of anything. If it is his or her desire to change, then it will happen. But this person should not change due to another person, he must change for himself. Self-acceptance is most important, despite living in a world which revolves around lineage, stature, and noble heritage,” Maria answered, gazing intently at the duke, hoping her words would penetrate his stubborn skull.
“You are wise beyond your years, Maria.”
“Perhaps, but growing up from humble, and at times impoverished beginnings, I had time to think of these things. It is not your wealth, or your status which makes you happy. You must find happiness within yourself,” Maria explained.
“I most certainly agree with you,” the duke said. “My father and mother were married by arrangement of their parents. They despised one another, and living in a home where they argued more than they spoke was very difficult.”
“I can only imagine, Your Grace.”
“In public, at formal balls, and social events, my mother and father appeared perfectly happy and content. Others envied their relationship, which I never understood, until I saw them act very differently at a ball I attended with them. I felt betrayed by them, appearing as they did. They lied to everyone, including themselves, and it did not sit well with me. I confronted my father, who had taught me my entire life that honesty was the most important thing.”
“What did he say?”
“He told me that sometimes one has to do things for others which one does not wish to do. He was acting as such as he did not wish for their marriage to become gossip. Reputation was very important to my mother, and although they did not love one another, my father still respected her. He treated her like a queen while in public, as it was important to her,” the duke said sadly.
Maria’s gaze softened as she glanced at the duke, feeling sympathetic to his sad demeanor.
“That was very gallant and noble of your father, Your Grace.”
“I did not think so at the time. It felt immoral to me. They lied to everyone, and he lied to me.”
“Is that perhaps why you do the things you do, Your Grace?” Maria asked, but regretted doing so instantly. “My apologies, Your Grace. I meant no disrespect.”
“You are aware of what I do?” he asked, his eyes narrowing slightly.
“Your Grace—”
“I sincerely apologize if what you saw upset you, and warped your impression of me.”
“You have hurt a lot of women, Your Grace. I have them crying in the coach, weeping with broken hearts,” Maria said quietly.
“Perhaps those women were not who I wished to spend more than a night with.”
“But how would you know? You did not take the time to know them,” Maria asked, her voice cracking slightly.
“They did not want me. They were only interested in my title, my wealth, and my lineage. They did not care to know me.”
“That does not give you the right to treat them that way,” Maria pointed out.
“Perhaps,” he answered vaguely, his gaze focused on the horizon behind her. “I enjoyed speaking with you, Maria. Perhaps we can do so again.”
“Are you not offended or angered by the fact that I spoke so freely?” she asked carefully.
“Not at all. I find it rather refreshing. I have not been able to speak to someone as openly as I have done tonight with you. Also, people are very wary of speaking freely while in my company,” the duke admitted.
“Not even Lord Kenilworth?” she inquired.
“Not even Lord Kenilworth.”
Maria shrugged her shoulders and sighed. “I was under the impression being wealthy and noble was wonderful, but I was mistaken. It seems very lonely.”
A small smile formed on the duke’s lips and he nodded simply. “Would it be inappropriate to ask if we can have another conversation soon? I feel very comfortable speaking with you.”
“We shall see,” Maria answered and turned away.
“Good night, Maria.”
“Good night, Your Grace,” she whispered, and proceeded back towards the servant quarters’ entrance, her heart pounding in her chest.
Soon after, as Maria lay on her narrow cot, staring at the dark ceiling and listening to the wind blowing outside, tears formed in her eyes. She had come to the harsh realization that the only manner in which this situation would be rectified was if she left the estate. She could no longer work at the estate, carrying her feelings for the duke inside her heart, knowing that she could never have him. It was a losing battle and Maria did not wish to fight it any longer. She must leave and never look back.
It was the only way.
Maria would be heartbroken, of course. Not only would she be leaving her family of maids and footmen, but she would also be leaving the duke. But it was for the best. She would wait until morning to speak with Anna. Then she would leave.
Chapter Four
May 1817
Beltham Hall
Westhampshire
England
The duke shifted his weight as he yet again came to the conclusion that she was not coming to meet him, which was disheartening, as well as made the duke feel utterly foolish.
For an entire fortnight, the duke had visited the spot by the low stone wall in hope
s that Maria would be there. He felt rather alone, as Lord Kenilworth now was courting the daughter of Lord Berkley and did not spend as much time in his company. The duke spent his nights alone now, silently hoping that Maria would approach him. He had been unable to erase the sight of her beautiful face from his mind, and as he wandered the halls of the manor house, he hoped he would see her. It tormented his heart when he did not see her, but he was much too proud to ask of her whereabouts from the other maidservants. He also did not wish to draw any attention to the fact that he was looking for Maria. Questions would be asked, and he had neither the mental capacity, nor the physical strength to answer.
His heart yearned for her voice, to watched her bathed in the moonlight, her golden hair like silk under the stars. To see her radiant smile, and hear her witty retorts.
He grumbled incoherently as he stood from the low wall and made his way back inside. Once inside, he paused in the hallway and glanced into the side hallways which led to the kitchen. Anna was at the large wooden table, along with two younger maids, chopping vegetables.
The duke entered the kitchen, and the two younger maids’ eyes widened as they saw him.
“Your Grace,” Anna said, continuing to chop. “What a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Could I speak with you for a moment, Anna?” the duke asked, and raised his brow expectantly.
“Please excuse us,” Anna said to the two young maids.
They nodded quietly and left the kitchen.
“What is it you wish to speak to me about, Your Grace?” Anna asked.
“There is a maid working here at the estate. Her name is Maria. Her father is the town physician,” the duke explained.
“Yes. I know Maria.”
“Are you aware of which shifts she is working today? I must speak with her rather urgently,” the duke said, the desperation imminent in his baritone voice.
Anna glanced at him in confusion. “Your Grace is not aware?”
“Aware of what?”
“Maria no longer works at the estate, Your Grace.”
“Since when?” he demanded.
“It is nearly a fortnight, Your Grace.”
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