“I sometimes wonder if it’s even possible to love anyone for who they really are. To truly love them, and not just who they show up as most of the time, or the face they show us. It’s all just emotion, reaction… lust.”
Eliza’s face popped into Lee’s head. Her crafty smile. The intense, thoughtful expression she’d default to while concentrating. Rosy red cheeks, hot with cute embarrassment, begging to be kissed. He blinked and let out a ragged sigh, throat suddenly tight.
“It’s more than just that, I think. Even if it’s not… it is.”
Harper made a small noise as though what he’d said made perfect sense to her and returned her soft hand to the top of his head, as though she was lulling him to sleep.
CHAPTER 37
The mood on campus the next morning was both tense and aimless. It was the weekend, and there were no classes, which meant the rumors related to Eliza and what had happened to the initiate’s dorm spread even faster than they would have normally.
There was a general sense of worry in the air. Lee walked by a group of his fellow classmates huddled together and whispering to one another. More than one suspicious glance was shot his way, though he wasn’t overly bothered by it.
Harper helped him extricate the rest of his stuff from what was left of his and Toma’s old dorm room when they’d arrived back. The faculty had set up a few makeshift bunkrooms in unused lecture halls within the Seruna Center, but Harper led him into the Elemental Tower instead.
“You can stay with me for the time being,” she said.
“Are you sure it won’t cause a scandal?”
“You’re my apprentice. It would be more suspicious if I wasn’t willing to offer up my space in your time of need.”
She gave him a lingering look. He wasn’t entirely sure he agreed with her logic, but the prospect of sharing her room—and likely her bed—on a regular basis rather appealed to him.
“Gen wants to meet with us in the First Tower.” Harper had just finished taking a shower in her private bathroom, another huge convenience afforded to instructors. She walked out wearing a tiny white bathrobe, her blonde hair wet and scraggly as she aggressively dried it with a towel.
“Do you think she’s heard something?” he asked.
“I wouldn’t get excited. If she has a lead for us to investigate, I doubt it’s a promising one from the way she worded it.”
“Still worth us pursuing?”
“Of course.” Harper slipped out of her bathrobe and began rifling through her closet. “Let me just get dressed and we’ll head over.”
Even though Lee had seen her naked numerous times before, it was more than a little distracting to watch her wiggling into her clothing. She did the clasp on her bra backward before sliding it around to the front, raising an eyebrow at his reaction in a manner that reminded him she was still an instructor, still his master.
“You should start getting ready,” she said.
“Right. I’ll meet you there.”
Harper left first, and almost as soon as the door closed, Tess sidled up next to Lee from wherever she’d been watching from.
“What a massive step, Lee,” she said with a smile. “You’ve moved in with Harper. The next thing you know, the two of you will have pet names for each other.”
“She already treats my real name like it’s a pet name. Anyway, this is only temporary. I’m well aware of how un-fun it would be for you to have to stay quiet and hidden all the time.”
“It wasn’t that different with Toma,” said Tess.
“I wasn’t sharing a bed with Toma, as far as I remember.”
“True enough.”
Lee pulled her into his mystic stream as he began picking out a clean shirt and jeans from where he’d stacked the clothing he’d taken out of his dorm.
“How’s the kitten holding up?” he asked.
“He’s enjoying himself outside, but I’m worried about him. I think he needs a new home…”
“I can ask around. I bet one of the instructors might be willing to take him in. Probably not Harper, but Escher, maybe.”
“I would appreciate that.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Good luck with your meeting.”
***
Gen was in the lobby of the First Tower, already in the middle of a hushed conversation with Harper. They turned to face him as they entered, Gen smiling, Harper frowning.
“Eldon,” said Harper. “Genevieve would like us to pay a visit to… Eliza’s family, at their home.”
Her tone about matched his own enthusiasm, or lack thereof, at the prospect. He couldn’t imagine what they must be going through, and he sincerely doubted that her father, especially, would welcome his presence. Still, it was the logical place to start looking, assuming Eliza hadn’t been completely lost to the influence of the pillar.
“It’s not as simple as just visiting, as I was just explaining to Harper.” Gen steepled her fingers. “It’s very possible they won’t be forthcoming about how much contact they’ve had with her. I need you to impress upon them the importance of whatever information they might have.”
“You want us to interrogate them, in other words?” asked Lee.
“Yes. I haven’t alerted the rest of the Order of Chaldea to the nature of this little incident. With how busy we are with the Independent Coalition and the potential for war, it would be ideal if Primhaven could resolve the matter on its own, given that it relates to a student here.”
“They’re going to be distraught,” said Lee. “You can’t expect us to show up and start badgering them for answers and making accusations.”
“Obviously, we’ll approach it with more tact than that, Eldon,” said Harper. “They’ve already had the details explained to them by the Head Wizard. We’ll also bring a bag with Eliza’s belongings from her dorm to deliver back to them.”
Lee felt almost as though they were discussing the aftermath of Eliza’s death rather than her disappearance. He tuned out of the conversation as Gen continued to explain the types of questions they should ask and potential answers they might receive.
He and Harper stopped by Eliza’s dorm room on their way out of the college, quickly packing up her relevant belongings. He didn’t say much as they did, his guilt weighing down on him more by the second. It felt final, as though moving her stuff out of her dorm all but confirmed there was no coming back for her.
“Whatever’s happened to Eliza can probably still be reversed,” he said.
“It’s very possible,” said Harper with no real conviction.
“I’m not giving up. I can’t give up. How will it even seem to her family if we’re already acting like she’s a lost cause when we show up on their doorstep?”
Harper didn’t have an answer to that. Lee felt his anger rising at her silence, though he wasn’t completely sure as to why. He was about to say more when his phone vibrated. He pulled it out of his pocket and immediately shifted the screen out of Harper’s potential field of view when he saw who it was from.
ZOE: Need to talk to you as soon as humanly possible.
He considered texting her back immediately but Harper was still watching him, if not for the contents of his phone. He chewed his lip and returned to packing away Eliza’s things for a minute before excusing himself to the bathroom.
“What is it?”
Zoe sighed before saying anything, her breath muffling as it tickled the microphone on the other end of the line. “The book wasn’t enough. There doesn’t seem to be a way for us to help Jack without, well…”
“I don’t have a lot of time right now, Zoe. Get to the point.”
“We need Gen’s actual sword. Savoire Solaire.”
Lee stared at the wall, not knowing what to say to that. “I’m not a magic cat burglar. It’s not as though I could just sneak into her room and steal it for you.”
“Why not?”
“Let me rephrase that. It’s not as though I would steal it. It would be suicide. I’ve already done what I can.
There’s a hard limit to my sibling affection.”
“I’m not asking you to do it for the sake of brotherly love,” said Zoe. “We would owe you a favor. Look, I know this is a long shot, but you have had opportunities to get close to the sword before. All we’re asking is for you to consider it if such a chance arises again.”
He was about to reiterate his no when a question came to mind, one far too pressing for him to not ask. “Zoe, do you know anything about the Unavowed Queen?”
Silence. He wasn’t sure if he was disappointed or relieved. He let out his breath, ready to abandon both the brief spike of hope and the phone call when Zoe began talking again.
“The Unavowed Queen was a possessed sorceress. I don’t know the full details, as it’s so far back in the past, but she was a woman who made a pact with a demon for power. Her body was forfeit as part of the arrangement.”
“Is that all? Have you heard anything about how the pact was made or how it could be undone?”
Again, Zoe said nothing, and Lee could almost sense her plotting in the background.
“Eldon,” she said. “Might I ask why you’re interested in this rather niche subject?”
“It’s… Eliza. Something happened to her. It sounds a lot like what you just described.”
“That’s not good.”
“No, it’s not fucking good.” He gritted his teeth. “Zoe, can you help me or not?”
“I can’t, but think Jack could. He knows about demons. He made a deal with one himself to save Ryoko and got out of it somehow. I don’t have all the details, but I’m sure he’d be forthcoming… if you did us a little favor.”
Stealing Genevieve Laughton’s priceless enchanted sword was more than a “little favor” in Lee’s mind, but he decided against calling her out on her phrasing.
“Help Eliza first, and then—”
“Not happening,” said Zoe. “I mean that in the sense it’s physically not possible. Jack has been unconscious for the past few days from his injuries. He’s… getting worse.”
Lee tried to get ahead of his oncoming headache by massaging at his temples.
“I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you, Eldon.”
CHAPTER 38
Harper was waiting for him outside, and though it may just have been his imagination, Lee got the distinct sense she was favoring him with an unusual amount of scrutiny. He picked up the bag full of Eliza’s belongings and tilted his head toward the First Tower and the Arcane Way.
“Shall we?” he asked.
“Who were you talking to just now?”
“Why does it matter?”
She didn’t press the issue. He hated lying to Harper, hated having to evade her questions. Hated having to go behind her back. For Eliza’s sake, however, he felt like he could do it with a clean conscience.
They borrowed one of the cars in the First Tower’s sublevel and headed off. Their trip through the Arcane Way was as psychedelic and disorienting as ever. Lee cracked the window as they emerged on the other side, sucking in breaths of fresh air, the only antidote he had on hand.
The waypoint was contained within an underground tunnel that exited into an expensive private community. Million-dollar mansions, each with sprawling, gated yards, were generously spaced apart from one another. The grass was trim, the streets were clean, and a sense of artificially enforced order oozed from every acre.
“This is the place,” said Harper as they stopped in front of a gate with a small intercom on a post. “Impressive.”
“I knew Eliza’s family was wealthy, but I guess I just never realized the full extent of it.” Lee shook his head a little, taking in the palatial estate in front of them.
A mansion, a guest house, a pool, a pool house. A massive fountain as the centerpiece for the driveway, as though even a simple slab of concrete deserved millions of dollars of ornamentation.
Harper pressed the button on the intercom and announced their arrival. The electric gate swung open, and she parked near the fountain. Lee carried the bag with Eliza’s belongings, though as soon as he turned to face the stairs leading up to the mansion’s front door, he felt on the verge of being sick to his stomach.
“Are you okay?” asked Harper.
“…Yeah.”
She set a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll do most of the talking. Her family is just as worried about her as you are.”
Lee nodded. He knew she was right, but he also knew how people sometimes reacted in times of tragedy and grief. Anger was right there next to those two emotions, the perfect outlet, especially when paired with someone to blame.
They made their way up the stairs. Harper lifted her hand up to knock, but the door opened before she could. Lee expected a maid or servant, but Allison Willis, Eliza’s mother, stood on the other side, puffy red eyes widening in expectation as she took in the sight of them.
“Lee!” She flung the door the rest of the way open and pulled him into a quick, forceful hug. “Oh, Lee! Please, come in. And you too, Instructor Harper. I’m so relieved you could both come in person.”
Allison shook her head and let out a shuddering sigh as she gestured for them to step into the foyer. It was a large, empty space, and their footsteps echoed against the smooth marble floor.
“We’re sorry to bother you,” said Harper. “Have you already been filled in on Eliza’s situation?”
“Yes.” Allison let out a single, incredibly sad chuckle. “I suppose we have. We had no idea she was involved in such a dangerous exploration. We would have done something if we’d… Though of course, Eliza was always so stubborn and confident. And capable. We almost couldn’t believe it when we heard. Not her. Not our daughter, of… of all people.”
“She didn’t choose this,” said Harper. “It was an accident. Nobody could have foreseen what happened.”
“Yes, of course.” Allison forced a smile onto her face. “We know, and we’ve been… working to stay strong.”
One of Eliza’s sisters, Lee couldn’t remember which, had come out onto the stairs to listen in on the conversation from afar, her expression devoid of emotion.
“We need to know if you’ve had any contact with Eliza since yesterday afternoon,” said Harper. “Even just a simple phone call or an email.”
“No, none of us has,” said Allison. “The last time we saw her was during the open house right after your duel. She was so complimentary of your performance, Instructor Harper. She kept wondering how she could ever get to the level of someone like, like…”
Allison’s mouth kept moving, but no further words came out. Within seconds, she was struggling to blink back tears. It was all Lee could do to keep from doing the same. Dealing with his own grief and guilt was one matter, but seeing it in Eliza’s family, up close, was just so much goddamn worse.
“Is there anywhere else she might have gone?” asked Harper. “Any place she might consider to be meaningful, or somewhere she’s been a lot before?”
“We have a second estate in Spain with an extensive property.” Allison bit her lower lip in desperation as she thought through her answer. “Other than that, I don’t know. I just don’t know.”
She swallowed hard, looking as though she was on the verge of collapse, weighed down by emotion and exhaustion. Harper moved in closer to the other woman, lowering her voice as she continued to ask questions as gently as she could.
Lee felt out of place, and the feeling only intensified when Eliza’s father stepped out of one of the side hallways. He frowned at Allison and Harper, but his eyes narrowed into an unrestrained glare as his gaze settled on Lee.
“Come with me.” His tone didn’t leave much room for a refusal or an excuse. Lee walked behind Martin, down the hall and into a personal study smelling of old books and new cigars.
Martin shut the door and gestured for him to take a seat before settling into the much more comfortable-looking chair tucked away behind his desk. He stared Lee full in the eyes. It felt like the
older man could see every nook and cranny of his guilty conscience, every facet of the choices he’d made that had put Eliza in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Martin poured himself a drink, expensive bourbon from an impractically-shaped decanter with a cork stop cap. He didn’t extend an offer to Lee and took a minute to sip from the glass before seeming to remember anyone else was even in the room.
“Is this your fault?” asked Martin.
Was it, he wondered? The question was the essence of the very one-sided argument on repeat inside his head. He’d brought Eliza to Kuh-Matton, but only after she’d insisted on coming along. He hadn’t stopped her from touching the pillar, but he hadn’t known she was going to or what would have happened.
All of that just felt like surface dressing, however. Like the ill-matching cover of a particularly niche book. Eliza had still been fine until she’d seen him with Willow, until that horrible misunderstanding. A misunderstanding born and fueled by the truth, by the fact that Lee had never let her get as close to him as she wanted to be. The fact that in the end, he just hadn’t really cared enough, hadn’t really watched out for her.
“Yeah,” he finally answered. His throat felt like dry mud baking in the sun. Martin slowly shook his head, pulled back a tense, trembling hand, and poured Lee a drink.
“She was scared of boys, you know. That’s what my wife and my daughters would all tease her about, but I never really saw it as a bad thing. I was a boy once. I’m a man now. I know enough to know that some boys are up to no good.
“It was always me she’d come running to.” Martin grinned and shook his head. “She’d run to me. She’d hide behind me. It’s a part of being a father that nobody tells you about ahead of time. Just being there for your little girl. Being her rock, her wall, her… shield.”
He closed his eyes and let out a raspy, pained exhalation. “It just disappeared one day. When she left for Primhaven, it would seem. She didn’t need me to protect her so much anymore, and I thought my little girl was all grown up. But she wasn’t… and now she’s gone.”
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