I’m too lost, too far gone to think any better of what she’s offering.
I know deep down I knew I shouldn’t. But right and wrong were a long way from my thoughts as she ground her ass down on my cock.
Only when I tipped my head back and closed my eyes, it wasn’t Nat with her blonde hair and filled lips in my mind, it was Ruby and her soft smile, her mesmerizing green eyes and sinful curves.
“Fuck, little one,” I grate out as I impale her so deep on me, I feel her cervix at the tip of my cock. “This... this right here. This is fucking it.” I pull out slowly.
“Yes,” she cries as I thrust back in, only harder this time.
“You feel that? You feel what you fucking do to me?”
“Yes, Ashton. Yes.”
My fingers dig into her hips with such force I have no doubt that I’ll leave bruises but no matter how hard I try, I can’t release my grip. I need her, this, too fucking bad to let up.
“Just me and you, little one. Just me and you.”
I drop my fingers to her clit. I circle them a couple of times, groaning as her muscles tighten around me before I pinch hard and send her crashing into her release.
She clamps down so hard, pulling me in so tight that I have no choice but to follow her over the edge.
Her name rips from my throat with a guttural roar as I fill her, mark her, claim her.
“You’re mine, Ruby. Fucking mine,” I pant into the crook of her neck as we both come down from our highs.
After a few seconds, I drop her to her feet, but I don’t release her right away, instead, I pull her lips back to mine, threading my fingers in her hair and holding her tight.
I try to put everything I’m feeling into that kiss, but I know I’ll never be able to achieve it.
Desperate for some air, I pull back, resting my head against hers, and look deep into her eyes.
“Ash—” I press my fingers to her lips, stopping whatever she was about to say.
“I’m sorry.” The words feel alien falling from my lips. The only person I’ve ever really apologized to before was Mom, and while I might not fully understand the reason for needing to say the words to Ruby right now, I know that I need to. “Let’s go home.”
She nods at me and after a beat, I release her so we can both sort out our clothing before walking back out there.
Taking her hand in mine, I lead her toward the door.
The second I pull it open and step out, almost every set of eyes turn on us.
“Oh my God,” she mutters, hiding behind me.
“No point hiding now, little one. They probably heard you screaming my name.” I can’t help the smile that twitches at my lips, no more so than when my eyes land on Axel laying on one of the couches having his wounds tended to by a couple of girls.
Axel is a prick. We might be part of the same group and I might have been doing his and his father’s dirty work for a few years but we’ll never be true friends.
A couple of the guys nod at me, not one comes over to say anything as I lead Ruby out of there. I never wanted her back here, but I know I only have myself to blame.
The second we’re outside, I pull her into me and wrap my arm around her shoulder. Neither of us say anything on the short walk back to the apartment.
I’m not sure what I would say even if I wanted to.
I’m just... empty. Totally and utterly empty.
“Are you hungry?” Ruby asks as I close the door behind us.
“Uh?” I try to remember the last time I ate anything. Yesterday, maybe. All I remember consuming is vodka and pills.
“I guess. Order takeout, whatever you want. I’m gonna...” I nod toward the bathroom and take off before she says any of the million things that I can read on her face.
She wants to know if I’m okay. If there’s anything she can do to help. But right now, I don’t have any answers for her.
I close the door behind me, turn the shower on hot and strip out of my clothes.
I stand under the scalding water hoping that it might wash the day and all of my sins off me.
Dropping my head into my hands, I think back over this morning. Of arriving at the church and seeing her in the back of the hearse surrounded by her favorite flowers, of lifting her onto my shoulder, of listening to everyone talk about what an incredible woman she was, the majority of whom didn’t even know most of her beauty.
A sob erupts from me as I think about lowering her into that hole, the place she’s going to lie forevermore.
Falling back against the tiles, the room spins around me, the lingering high from the alcohol and pills fading from my system and allowing reality to crash back in.
The thought of Nat, of touching her the way I did. Of almost doing more makes my stomach turn.
Fucking hell, I’m a mess.
I slide down the wall until my ass hits the old shower tray beneath me, now unable to hold all of it inside.
My body trembles as sobs wrack my body for everything I’ve lost and all the mistakes I’ve made. The guilt eats at me stronger than ever as I try to deal with the overload that has been today.
I have no idea how long I’ve been there when the door opens but my throat is dry and my eyes burn with the tears I’ve shed.
“Ash, are you... shit,” she gasps when I assume her eyes land on me curled up on the floor.
“I’m okay, just leave me.” The words are quiet, a whisper. I doubt she even hears them over the sound of the water.
The door closes again, and I assume she’s done as she’s told and left me to drown in my own misery, but a few seconds later I hear fabric rustling.
Dragging my head from where it was resting on my knees, I look up.
“Ruby,” I breathe, thinking I’m seeing things.
She watches me as she shimmies her panties over her hips and then takes a step forward.
She doesn’t so much as flinch as she steps under the still burning water and gently kicks my ankles. I lower my knees to allow her some space, and in a beat, she’s sitting astride my lap with my face in her small hands.
“It’s okay to fall apart, Ash,” she says softly before leaning forward and brushing her lips against mine.
I want to tell her no, that she should leave me here alone to fight with my guilt and fucked-up decisions, but the second her tongue swoops in to find mine, I lose all sense of what I should be doing and accept what she’s offering.
An escape.
My fingers slide into her wet hair, holding her to me, ensuring that she’s not about to leave as fast as she entered because right now, I know I couldn’t cope with that. My other hand trails down her back, wrapping around her slim waist and holding her to me as tight as I can.
Her kiss is so gentle, so passionate that it brings tears back to my eyes. But this time, with her here, with her wrapped around me, I don’t sink.
She keeps me above water, just like I knew she would and just like I know she shouldn’t be.
25
Ruby
I had no idea what I was going to find when I invited myself into the bathroom. But it certainly wasn’t a broken, sobbing Ashton on the floor of the shower. I thought maybe he’d passed out from the drinking and drugs, but never that he was shattering on the other side of the wall.
I probably should have walked back out and left him to it.
It’s what he deserved after what he did tonight. But that’s not who I am.
My stomach twists violently as I think about him having his hands all over her. But I understand it... I think.
People do crazy shit when they’re consumed with grief, totally overpowered by the loss they can’t understand or accept.
That’s the reason why I don’t walk out of that door. Why instead, I strip out of my clothes and join him.
I want him to see that there is more than just pain right now. While, yes, his mom might be gone. He’s not, he’s here. And she’d want him to grab life with both hands and take it on headfirst. I also
have a feeling that she’d want someone beside him as he does it, and it doesn’t look to me like any of his so-called friends are interested in supporting him.
I know that guys and girls do things differently, but the thought of me going through this and my girls not being there to hold my hand damn near shreds me and it’s not even happening.
Why is he alone in this? None of it seems fair.
The second I drop onto his lap, he grabs onto me as if I’m the air he needs to breathe, and right now, I’m happy to be that for him.
I’m aware that it might be a short-lived thing, that tomorrow might flip everything on its head once more as we decide how to get back and attempt to continue with—or in Ashton’s case, restart—our lives.
We kiss for the longest time. Gone are the rough touches and vicious words from that factory and in their place are the soft caresses, the desperation from our kiss in the graveyard earlier.
“Ruby,” he moans into my kiss, his voice filled with almost disbelief that I’m here.
“It’s okay,” I say, once again taking his cheeks in my hands. “I’m right here.”
I stare down at him, our foreheads pressed together but he refuses to open his eyes.
Dropping a kiss to the end of his nose, I trail them down over his lips and across his jaw.
“Ruby,” he repeats, my name almost a plea on his lips.
I kiss down his neck, my fingers trailing down his arms and chest.
“Make it go away,” he begs.
My heart shatters for him. I want to do more but there is nothing.
Instead, my lips find his once more and my hips grind down on his length that’s been gently pressed against me for quite some time.
A moan rumbles up his throat at my movements and I do it again, a little more insistently. His grip on my hips tightens, it stings a little but I think nothing of it as he keeps encouraging me.
After a few minutes, I push up from him. His lips rip from mine and for the first time in ages, his eyes open.
Panic fills them as I assume he thinks I’m about to leave.
I shake my head at him and reach between us, wrapping my fingers around his shaft.
“Not going anywhere,” I whisper as I lift him and rub the tip through my wetness.
His eyes darken and threaten to close once more but, although hooded, they remain on me as I guide him to my entrance and slowly sink down.
Everything inside me is tender after last night, and then how he took me in the factory earlier but it’s not so bad that I want to stop. Actually, the farther I sit down on him, the easier it becomes as the pleasure takes over.
A hiss passes his lips as I sit right down taking all of him inside me.
“Ruby, you’re...” He trails off, his large hands skimming over my shoulders and up my neck until he takes my face in his hands much as I did to him not so long ago. “You’re incredible,” he breathes, his eyes widening as he says the words as if he can’t believe they just passed his lips.
“Shh,” I soothe, pressing two fingers against his lips. “No talking.”
He nods as I lift off him before sinking back down.
His head falls back against the tiles with a thud but his eyes remain on me.
I repeat my actions, holding his stare as I do so. A smile begins to pull at his lips as I continue to move, and his touch, the gentle caress of his thumbs over my hip bones, that gives me the confidence I need to keep going.
At no point do I increase the speed. Everything remains slow, as he moves his hands and begins teasing my breasts, pinching my nipples between his fingers, I grow desperate for more. But this isn’t about me.
Leaning forward once more, I take his lips on mine. He eagerly returns my kiss before pushing from the wall to shift our angle.
With both my arms and legs wrapped around him as he impales me, he’s so freaking deep. I’m so full of him that I can barely breathe. Add in my compassion for how he’s feeling, and I almost lose myself along with him.
His grip on me tightens, his kiss becoming more urgent and I know, that despite our slow pace, that he’s close.
His cock swells even harder inside me, stretching me that little bit tighter before he slips his hand between us to find my clit.
“We do this together,” he groans in my ear.
I don’t need his fingers, those words along with everything else and the feel of him inside me sends me crashing over the edge in an instant. His body vibrates with a groan as his cock jerks inside me, hot sticky cum filling me, branding me, making me his.
Tears burn my eyes at the emotion of the moment, the connection I feel to him but I refuse to let them drop. I need to be the strong one right now and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to be exactly what he needs.
I promise myself there and then, that until the sun rises, I’m his. Consequences be damned.
Ashton finds my lips once more and he kisses me softly as we come down from our highs. Then after a few minutes, he lifts me to my feet and sets about cleaning me up.
No words are said as he grabs the bottle of shampoo I’ve left on the side and squeezes some into his palm before he begins washing my hair.
He rinses it out before conditioning it and making a start on my body. His touch is so gentle as he works over every inch of my skin with the creamy bubbles.
He watches me with fascination, stares at every part of me like he can’t believe I’m here with him. I gasp in half shock, half pleasure when his fingers slip between my legs to clean me.
Desire coils in my lower stomach once more making me wonder if it will ever be enough with him. If I’m always going to need more.
I bite down on my bottom lip as he continues to work me. But right before I climb the final crest of my orgasm, he stops.
But he doesn’t step away, instead, he takes my hand in his, squeezes some of his shower gel into my palm, and gestures to his body. Not needing any encouragement to touch him, I rub my palms all over his chest and abs. I drop lower to his V and smile when his once again hard cock twitches. But I don’t reach for it. Not yet. Instead, I slip behind him and rub at his tense shoulders, down his back, and over his ass. I squeeze lightly as he groans at my touch, pulling me back around in front of him and forcing us both back under the stream of quickly cooling water. I’m amazed it lasted as long as it did. We must have taken it from the entire building.
No sooner have the bubbles left our skin does Ashton reach out behind me and cuts the water off.
Our bodies brush against each other and my breath catches as he stares down at me, his eyes bouncing between mine. It feels like he’s looking at me for the first time. It’s fascinating as I try to read everything he usually keeps hidden in his dark depths.
But no sooner has he started, does he step back and the moment is broken.
Reaching behind him, he grabs a towel and wraps it around my body before doing the same to himself, only he tucks his around his waist.
I expect him to walk to the door and leave me here. The thought alone leaves me feeling cold. But that’s not what he does, instead, he sweeps me into his arms and carries me out and to his bed where he lays me down, rips the towel from my body, and crawls over me.
His hands land on either side of my head and he stares down at me, droplets from his hair hitting my face and running down to the sheets beneath me.
“Ruby, I don’t...” He lowers his head to mine. “I don’t have the words to tell you how you make me feel, how much that just meant, so let me show you instead.”
He takes my lips in the deepest kiss I’ve ever experienced before he sets about what he just promised.
By the time he drops down beside me and pulls the covers over both of us hours later, there’s not an inch of my body he’s not touched, kissed, licked, dare I say it... loved. I lost count of how many times he made me come and how many times his name rolled off my lips as I dove headfirst into pleasure. But it’s safe to say that as he pulls me into his arms and drops his lips t
o my shoulder, that I’m well and truly exhausted.
When I finally wake, the sun is up and the bed beside me is empty.
My heart drops that he’s not here. But I guess I’m not really surprised. I know that last night—or the previous one—wasn’t the beginning of something for us. It was just... well... needed.
After all our time together, the growing tension. It was inevitable. And now it’s over... I guess we just go back to hating each other like before, or we somehow find a way to exist around each other.
I blow out a breath and swing my legs from the bed.
My body aches and when I look down, I find red marks all over my breasts and thighs and fingerprint bruises on my hips.
A wave of heat washes through me as I think about our time together, about all the ways he made me come, about all the things he made me feel.
My heart aches once more for the broken boy I found on the shower floor.
I want to say he screwed up last night. But we weren’t—we aren’t—a couple. I guess he had every right to go running into someone else’s arms. I just really wish the sight of the two of them together didn’t hurt so damn much, didn’t feel like such a betrayal.
I pull on a clean pair of underwear, sweats, and a zip-up hoodie before pulling the door open and stepping out to discover what kind of mood Ashton might be in—assuming he’s here, of course.
I see him the second I step out of the bedroom and I instantly know that his walls are back up. I can tell by the hard set of his shoulders.
He’s only wearing a pair of black boxer briefs as he stands with his palms on the kitchen counter, staring out of the window, I can only assume directly into the apartment opposite because there’s nothing else to look at.
Walking over, I come to a stop beside him to discover what he’s so fascinated with.
In the living room in the other apartment, there is a little boy doing puzzles with his dad. The boy is probably eight or so, and he looks so happy.
FURY: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rosewood High Book 6) Page 20
