I blow out a breath and open the book back up again. Just the sight of her handwriting has me on edge, but reading her words guts me in a whole new way. Knowing she had plans for her—for our—life. I shake my head.
Fuck, I miss you.
I turn to the next page and find a photograph of a house staring back at me.
It’s a stunning light gray colonial-style house with a front porch and yard. It has shutters on the windows and blooming flowers out front.
I run my finger over it as I imagine Mom standing on the porch in the sun enjoying the peace.
Needing to know more, I keep reading.
Maybe squirreling all the money away wasn’t the best idea in the short term. Both Ash and I have suffered because of it. But every time my stomach rumbles and we have no food in the apartment, I tell myself it’s worth it. That one day, we’ll have our home, we’ll have everything we could ever want.
He’s probably going to hate me when I tell him my plans, that I’m taking him away from the only home he’s ever really known, and I also know that he has every right to refuse. He’ll be eighteen. But it’s a risk I’ve got to take. As much as I’d have loved to do this years ago, I didn’t have the money to do it properly and starting over in a new place wouldn’t have been any better for us.
This way, he’ll have graduated, be able to start university, or community college, depending on how the next few months go, and we can have a real shot at happiness.
Maddison County might not be where I’ve always dreamed of living but I know it’s right for us.
It has good education opportunities for Ash. It has a thriving community, so I should be able to find a job. But most importantly, it’s close to Stephen.
I hate myself every day for how the relationship has turned out between Ash and Stephen. Ash blames him for everything, and I understand it, I watched my parents go through something similar. I know it’s easy to blame the person who leaves. But Stephen isn’t a bad person. Actually, he’s the best. It’s why I married him and had a baby with him. Things just... didn’t last. That flame you hope will burn forever just... went out.
I want to fix things. I want Ashton to get to know his dad. I want Stephen to be the incredible father I know he is.
I just want everyone to be happy and safe.
I close the book again and rest my head back against the wall.
Mom was going to move us to Maddison.
She’s right. There’s no way I would have gone willingly. But now I’m here and my life has changed in a way she never could have predicted, I can see that she was right.
I needed to get out of Seattle. If this past week being back there with the guys has taught me anything, it’s that I would have ended up dead eventually. I was only on the outskirts of the Kingston boys, but slowly, they were dragging me into the fold. My jobs were getting bigger, riskier. It was only a matter of time because my death would have been the only way out. Because once you’re in and you know their secrets, that is the only way they let you out of their clutches.
I flick through the rest of the pages, staring down at Mom’s words and stopping at some of the images she stuck in as she dreamed of our new life.
It’s not until I get to the very back that I find an envelope with a bank name stamped on it.
With my brows drawn together, I lift the flap and pull out the contents. The bank card is still attached to the letter like the day it arrived in the mail. The only thing different about it is that Mom’s written the PIN on the top.
My hand trembles as I hold it.
Is this our entire future that she’d been working toward in this bank account?
I shake my head once more, a smile pulling at my lips.
She really was giving us the chance to start over.
The temptation to go and find an ATM and discover just how much she was sitting on is high. But it’s late and I have no idea where one is.
I force myself to place everything on the nightstand before stripping down to nothing and heading for the shower. Not that I really want to wash Ruby’s scent off me but as much as it’s comforting, it’s torture at the same time.
She should be here with me right now, naked in my arms but instead, I fucked the entire thing up with my need for her and probably just proved to her once again why she does hate me as she claims to.
The scalding hot shower does little for my mood. My head is spinning with the revelations I discovered from Mom and my blood is running hot as I think about how Ruby looked up against that tree earlier.
I have a fitful night’s sleep full of dreams of colonial houses and Ruby in her cheer uniform and by the time my alarm goes off to ensure I’m at the venue in time for her finals this morning, I’m nowhere near ready to wake up.
There are people—cheerleaders—everywhere when I pull up to the sports complex on my bike. I thought yesterday afternoon was busy, but it was nothing like this. I knew cheer was big across the country but our squad in Seattle was nothing more than a piece of ass to have at football games and parties. They never competed in anything. Thank God, because after what I saw yesterday, I realize that they really weren’t in it for the sport, I really think they did just want to get on their knees for the players.
I park and make my way inside. Without a ticket to allow me entry, it takes a little work to get into the room where the final competition is taking place, but I soon sweet talk a cheerleader into smuggling me inside as her brother before dropping her the second I’m past the guards.
I find a seat in the shadows so I can watch her performance. I have no idea if Dad and Lisa are here. From the number of families I can see, I’d be amazed if they weren’t here to support Ruby. Neither of them seems like the kind of parents that wouldn’t go out of their way to be here for her moment of glory.
I have to sit and watch a few other finals—all just proving to me how good Ruby’s squad is in comparison—before the varsity finalists take to the stage.
The second I see her, nerves erupt in my belly. She looks tired and nervous, although still totally breathtaking. The tiny red and white Rosewood High cheer uniform fits her like a second-skin, and I realize in that moment just how much all of this means to her.
I’ve teased her about being a cheer slut time and again in my time here. But none of this is about gaining the attention of any sports team at school. This is her sport.
They get in formation as the crowd around me quiets down before the music starts and they bound into action.
Girls jump, dive, and somersault everywhere, it’s mesmerizing, but at no point do I take my eyes off my girl.
My girl.
My heart pounds as those words repeat in my head.
Fuck, I want them to be true.
The smile on her face as she does her thing melts my heart. I’ve never seen her so happy as she is right now, and it makes me determined to see her smile at me like that.
I have no fucking clue how I’ll achieve it. All I know how to do to make a girl happy is to make them come, but I’m sure I’ll figure a way.
My cock swells as I watch her move flawlessly across the padded stage. She’s so in sync with the other girls, I literally have no idea how they manage to coordinate it so well.
I have no idea how far through the routine they are but all of a sudden, one of the spotlights that are roaming around the crowd illuminates me.
My heart jumps into my throat, but I tell myself she’s too busy and focused to see me.
But when I look up, my eyes immediately lock with hers. Our connection only lasts for the briefest of moments, a nanosecond, but it’s still enough for me to see her shock, her horror at my being here.
Having said that though, nothing about her movements falter. If I couldn’t read her like I can, then I wouldn’t have a clue anything just happened.
But as it is, I can, and it just confirms what I already know.
I fucked up last night. Hell, I’ve been fucking up since I first stepped foot into Rosewood. But last n
ight might have just been the icing on the cake. Although, I’m not sure being here right now helps all that much either. But there was no way I was missing this.
As the music comes to an end and they fall into their final positions, the crowd around me explodes with applause. I join them, but I don’t stand to my feet, instead, I sink down into my seat because I think my presence might not have the effect that Ruby wants right now while she hugs the rest of her squad, a huge smile plastered on her face.
I remain in my seat watching the other finalists perform, my interest in the competition waning by the second. I’m not surprised to discover that my sudden interest in cheer only exists when Ruby is bouncing around on the stage.
I almost get up and see if I can go and find her, but I don’t, not yet. I figure I’ll wait for the results to be announced and when they’re inevitably crowned champions, hopefully, she’ll be in such a good mood that she won’t just turn her back on me again. Optimistic thinking? Possibly.
30
Ruby
I stand with my right hand locked in Chelsea’s and my left in Harley’s as we huddle on the stage beside the other finalist squad waiting to hear our fate.
My heart is in my throat as I run through our performance again and again in my head.
It was perfect. Totally fucking flawless. Until I saw him in the crowd. The second my eyes locked on him, everything started to unravel.
My counting faltered and my timing was off but no matter what I did, I couldn’t get him out of my head and focus back on what I should have been doing.
Were we good enough to win this thing? The others were. They were on point, even after their late night. Harley might have seen me running across the pool area in my need to escape from Ashton, but the others stayed out there well past their midnight curfew.
I, however, fucked up and it’s all his fault.
Why is he even here? I can’t imagine he gives a fuck about cheer until he’s got a slut on her knees for him like I’m sure he had Krissy a few weeks ago.
Red hot fury fills my veins. Did he just come here to continue ruining my life? It seems all he’s done is make good on that promise since the threat first passed his lips all those months ago.
I scan the crowd, trying to see Mom and Stephen in the mass of faces but with the bright lights trained on us, it’s hard to see much. I do, however, point-blank refuse to look to where I saw him earlier.
I don’t care if he’s still here. I hope he’s not. I don’t need or want him here, no matter what the result of this is going to be.
Chelsea’s hand trembles in mine. She wants this so fucking bad and I’m terrified I’ve ruined it for her.
“And the winners of the medium varsity cheer nationals are...” The announcer pauses to build the tension as my stomach turns over. I swallow down my nerves, hoping that I’m not about to puke in front of all these people. “The Clift...” His words fade away as the blood racing past my ears gets too loud. I squeeze my eyes shut as tears fill them faster than I can control.
I try to release the hands in mine but they refuse to let go of me.
We lost. We fucking lost and it’s all my fault.
No, it’s all his fault.
My eyes spring open of their own accord and I stare at the place in the stands where I saw him earlier. I frantically search, needing him to know just what he’s done to me, but I don’t find him. All I find is an empty chair.
The asshole couldn’t even hang around to find out if he’d successfully ruined everything.
I’m in a total daze staring at that chair when Harley tugs on my arm and pulls me into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” I whisper in her ear. Her body tenses against me.
“What the hell are you talking about, Rubes? We just got runner up at nationals, that’s fucking epic.”
When she pulls back, she’s got a wide smile on her face. While I can’t deny that we’ve just done well, we have, it’s just... we should have won. We were good enough. They were good enough.
“We should have won,” I say sadly.
“Hey, there’s always next year,” she says brightly, her smile not faltering, that is until her eyes meet mine once more. “Rubes, what’s wrong?”
“Chelsea doesn’t have next year.” I glance at where she’s pulling Aria into a hug and my tears spill over.
I fucked this up. I fucked up her dream.
“Ruby,” Harley screams as I run from the stage.
I crash through the door leading from the stage toward the locker rooms where all our stuff is.
My lungs burn by the time I get there and my hands tremble as I frantically pull my stuff from the locker.
I need to get out of here. I can’t be here.
I pass crowds of cheerleaders, their coaches and family and friends but I don’t see anyone in my need to escape.
I fly through the exit that will lead me toward the main doors and finally outside when someone grabs my arm and I’m forced to stop.
I’m pulled back and I stumble, too stunned by being caught to find my footing and I crash into a solid chest.
A familiar scent fills my nose and my entire body stiffens with anger. My teeth grind and my fists curl.
“Ruby?” he whispers as if he’s talking to a scared animal.
“Why are you here?” I seethe, finally looking up into his dark eyes. But unlike I’m used to, they’re not angry, they’re full of... concern?
“I came to support you.”
“Bullshit,” I spit at him, trying to rip my wrist from his vise-like grip. “You don’t care about me, about how I, or the squad, do. You’re probably laughing inside right now because we came in second.”
“No, you were robbed if you ask me. You were clearly the best.”
“Oh just fuck off, Ash.”
“What? I’m being honest.”
“Honest? Honest?” I bark. “You wouldn’t know honest if it bit you in the ass. Now get your fucking hands off me.”
When he still holds me captive, I drop my bag off my shoulder, allowing it to fall to the ground with a thud and slam my curled fist into his chest.
“I hate you, Ash. I fucking hate you and all of this is your fault. We’d have won if you weren’t here. It’s all your fault.”
I know I’m causing a scene and I know I look like a crazy person but all I can see is the disappointment that I know will be in Chelsea’s eyes for not achieving her goal and the guilt at knowing I was the one who fucked it up. I lost my count, I lost time. And all because of him.
“I fucking hate you,” I squeal again. Tears stream down my cheeks and drip from my jaw, but I don’t care.
I’ve been bottling this up all week and it feels so good to finally get it out, to scream at him after how he hurt me.
I’m not quick enough to pull my arm back and he manages to wrap his fingers around my other wrist, successfully stopping me from hitting him. Not that I’m under any illusion that I was actually hurting him, but it was making me feel better.
He flips us and pushes me up against the wall, my hands pinned above my head. My chest heaves as I stare at him, my eyes narrowed in anger, my teeth bared.
“I know you hate me, little one. You should, but believe me, I’m here for you.”
A bitter laugh falls from my lips.
Our eyes hold as we stare at each other, something crackling between us.
“Do you know how fucking hot you look in that uniform,” he says, his eyes finally dropping from mine. “I’ve been hard since the second you came out on stage.”
“Good. I hope it fucking hurts.”
“Ruby, I—” His words are cut off as two others call my name and come running over.
“There you are. Are you okay?” Chelsea asks as Harley stares daggers at Ash.
“Let her go,” she spits as if he’s nothing more than a piece of shit on her shoe.
He glances over at her and raises his brow.
“Sorry, red. None of
your business.”
“Excuse me?” She wraps her fingers around his forearm and digs her red talons into his skin. I can’t help but smirk at her. “You’ve got my best friend pinned against the wall against her will, I think it’s very much my business, asshole.”
Chelsea ignores the two of them and looks at me.
“Is this him?”
I nod, wishing the ground would swallow me up and take me away from all of this.
“Unless you want a bigger issue than a couple of cheerleaders, then I suggest you let her go.”
“Not until she hears me out.”
“No, she doesn’t need to listen to anything you have to say. I’m also pretty sure you weren’t invited here or even have a ticket.”
Ashton swallows, confirming Chelsea’s suspicions.
“So if you don’t want security to haul your ass out of here, I suggest you walk away now.”
Thankfully, he releases me, and all the blood races back into my arms the second I lower them once more.
“Are you threatening me?” he asks, turning on Chelsea. His eyes drop to her obvious bump and I can’t help wondering what he must think about this situation.
“Yes, I fucking am, asshole. You hurt a member of my squad then you hurt me too.”
He shakes his head at Chelsea.
“Go on, underestimate me. I dare you,” she seethes.
He laughs, actually fucking laughs in her face.
“Looks like someone already had some fun with you, I’ll leave them to the games if you don’t mind.”
Chelsea’s lips press into a thin line but before she gets to react, I do.
“Hey, Ash?”
“Yeah.” He turns to me, a little relief seeping into his features that I want to talk to him. Good, this should come as a surprise then.
My arm flies out and my palm connects with his cheek with a loud slap.
“Stay away from my captain. Stay away from my best friend, and most importantly, stay the fuck away from me.” I run my eyes down his body before climbing my way back up. “I’ve been there, and it really wasn’t all that memorable,” I lie, turning away from him, swiping my bag from the floor and taking both Chelsea and Harley’s hands and leading them back the way I came from.
FURY: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rosewood High Book 6) Page 24
