“I’m going to find out what made her like this. That bastard knows something, and this time, I’m going to make him tell me.” Calish stormed out, slamming the door behind him.
Mother gathered her thoughts. “Una, you need to tell him what you saw. Nik won’t give him anything. He says you need to share it. It’s not right for him to keep something this important from your brother, I mean, husband.”
My hand fell in my lap, fully healed by her effort. It appeared as though nothing ever happened to it or me.
But it did happen.
I rubbed my smooth knuckles.
So much happened.
Something crashed downstairs, making my mother spring to her feet. “You need to get dressed.” She hurried out of the room.
I did as she said. It would have taken longer, but with the commotion happening on the first floor, I acted quickly. When I got to the balcony, Calish and Nik were exchanging blows until Calish tackled him, throwing him backward. Ready to kick himself back onto his feet, Nik hesitated when he saw me watching from above.
“Stop!” he shouted, but my husband would not give up such a perfect advantage over an unprepared opponent.
He straddled Nik, yanking him up by his collar. He pulled his arm back to land his fist in my friend’s face.
Nik smirked. “Your wife is watching.”
Calish jumped up and wiped the blood from his lip. “Hey,” he said, nervously fixing his shirt.
“Why are you fighting?” I asked the question not because I didn’t understand but to make sure they knew I witnessed their juvenile behavior.
Nik sat up, retying his hair in an elastic. “Um, we’re not.”
“Yeah, we’re, um, sparring.” Calish held out his hand to Nik to help him up.
He slapped his hand away and got up on his own.
“Don’t lie to me,” I spat. “Haven’t I had enough violence?” Disgusted by their display, I stomped down the stairs and went into the dining room.
“Good morning, my Lady,” Qarla greeted quietly as I sat at the table covered with a crisp vanilla linen. My hand traveled across the pressed surface, yet no proof of my touch remained. I stared at the threads woven tightly together until a cup of tea interrupted my focus. “Thank you.” I held it in my hands until the heat of the porcelain cooled and the steam stopped rising from the dark surface of the water within.
Food appeared on the table, beckoning my family and houseguests to have lunch. Trisk came first. Her footfalls softly approached, giving me opportunity to warn her away. With a flick of my hand, I invited her to join me, and one by one, the seats filled with cautious people. As if claiming me as his property, Calish sat next to me. Nik, being the last to arrive, took the seat at the far end of the table.
No one spoke. Only the sound of forks against the gold-trimmed plates could be heard. A half of a biscuit filled me. I knew the baby would be happy for the meal, so I forced a few more bites before I stopped. All the stress might make it come back up again in a few more minutes. I leaned back in my chair and closed my eyes, trying to shut out everyone around me. With my hand on my pregnant belly, I waited to feel the baby roll, kick, or move in any way.
“Do you feel it?” Marsh broke the silence.
“Uh huh,” I said with my eyes still closed.
“Can I feel?”
“Sure, although he’s not moving much.”
His voice got higher. “It’s a boy?”
“I don’t know, but I don’t like calling him ‘it.’” I opened my eyes as my brother put his huge paw on my stomach. The baby moved in response to the pressure and kicked against his hand.
“Whoa!” He smiled. “Hey there, you!” He pressed firmly, and the baby kicked him again. “That kid is strong! What are you feeding him?” He howled. “Trisk, you’ve got to feel this!”
“Do you mind?” she asked hopefully.
“No.” I pushed back my chair to give her room to wedge in. Before I knew it, everyone crowded around to feel the life inside me. Everyone but Nik. He stayed put and finished his breakfast. My mother saw him and casually healed his wounds. Calish took note of her aid and refused her help when she offered. I pretended not to notice the interaction.
Maybe it was important to explain what had transpired the day they found me in the yard. Strangely, it wasn’t what had happened that mattered. The real problem in the house was that Nik knew my secret and Calish didn’t.
The tone around the dining room seemed happier once the baby dominated the conversation. Our guests broke off into light topics about nonsensical things as they finished their breakfast. While I didn’t want to ruin the mood, I also didn’t want to prolong the inevitable. If I was going to talk about it at all, I only wanted to do it once. I knew they were all curious about what happened to me and they all had a right to know. Besides, I felt more comfortable with all of them being there rather than just me, Calish, and Nik.
When Calish was distracted with Jeorge, I took the opportunity to move next to Nik. He offered a tender smile, giving me his full attention.
“I want them to know. I just can’t do it on my own. Will you help me?”
He touched my hand and nodded. “I’d do anything for you, Una.”
I took my tea, walked to the study, and made myself comfortable. Just as I had expected, Nik spread the word, and everyone but my mother and the servants ended up wandering into the room. I sat on the couch with my legs pulled up under me, my untouched tea on the table to my left. The last person closed the door, and they waited patiently for me to begin; feeling their eyes on me made me regret my decision. I tried to control myself but decided that was not going to happen, so I began anyway. “First off, I want to say thank you for taking care of me these last few days. I’m sorry I’ve been so difficult.” My chin trembled.
Calish took my hand and laced his fingers between mine. I knew he’d be furious with me for going against his orders. He told me to give up the idea of thistle soup, but I didn’t. I couldn’t.
“You’re going to be so angry with me.” I turned my face from my husband.
“Nothing you ever do will make me so angry I won’t get over it. Una, I love you. Nothing you do will ever change that.”
“I was—” I glanced up at my brother. “—gathering supplies…”
Marsh closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.
“Supplies?” Ino inquired.
I nodded. “Things I needed for, um…”
“Thistle soup,” Marsh interrupted, obviously blaming himself.
“What?” Calish belted at our brother.
“It was my idea, Cal,” he confessed. “I told her if she got what she needed, I’d talk to you about setting up shop somewhere to feed the world.”
Calish glared at him, shaking his head slowly. “Go on, Una,” he said as calmly as he could.
I bit my lower lip and choked back the tears. “I knew Noran didn’t have servants. He never eats at home…”
He would never trust someone being in his house, not with what he keeps in his basement.
I closed my eyes, and images flashed in my memory: the man without eyelids, the woman with all the arrows in her gut, and Kali. Falling spikes.
My mouth refused to talk. Saying it aloud made it real. As much as I thought I wanted to, I simply couldn’t continue. I buried my face in my hands.
“Una went into his house. He wasn’t home,” Nik continued on my behalf. “She noticed a smell in the house and followed it down to his basement.”
Calish put his arm around me and rubbed my back as Nik told the story I couldn’t confess. He spared many of the details but decently reported the torture dealt by Noran’s hand.
“He forced her to participate against her will, and all three people died in her presence.”
For a moment, all anyone heard was my tormented conscience in the form of torrid emotion.
“The woman, she didn’t fight it at all?” Trisk asked.
I took a deep breath to justify Kal
i’s actions. “Noran told her she was the sacrifice the gods needed to restore the Temple,” I whimpered.
“And she believed him?”
I wiped my nose on my sleeve. “She was one of his disciples.”
“How did you know that?” Nik asked.
“I knew her,” I confessed. “Her name is Kali.”
“Kali?” Marsh gasped. “Blue’s sister?”
I nodded, unable to answer any other way.
Nik slid his hand down the length of his face. “No wonder you fought him like you did.”
I buried my face in Calish’s shoulder, and he tried to calm me. “Can we have a moment alone,” he asked. Without another word, the room cleared, and he knelt before me.
“Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not. I wish there was a way to take this from you,” he lamented. “Marsh explained why you wanted to do this soup thing, and you were right.” He moved my hair behind my ears and offered me his handkerchief. “I mean, you are right. Maybe if I wasn’t so hardheaded, none of this would have happened.” He kissed my hands. “I’m going to kill him for what he’s done.” A knock on the door angered him. “What?”
Hawk opened the door. “Sorry, Calish, but Noran is here.”
My husband stood, readying his hand on the hilt of his blade.
“There’s something you need to know about our priest before you go out there,” he warned.
“I think I know all I need to know.” Calish walked toward the door and grabbed the knob.
Hawk pushed his way into the room, preventing his nephew from leaving. “He can’t know what we know about him.” He latched the door closed.
“It won’t matter; I’m going to kill the son of a bitch where he stands!”
“He’s a Charmer, Calish, you won’t be able to end him as easily as you would think.” He propped himself up against the desk.
“What do you mean?”
“We have a man like him back at the camp. The only ones they can’t clear memories from are Seers. If you know he’s a Charmer, he’ll quickly figure out that she’s a Seer. If you try to kill him, he’ll freeze you and slit your throat, or from what it sounds like, he’ll do worse. Either way, you won’t live, and neither will she.”
“How many of these guys like him are out there?” Calish demanded.
“I know of two.” Hawk drummed his fingers on the edge of the desk. “It actually explains a lot. I’ve got to hand it to him, the prick’s found his calling. He’s got the power to make people believe him. With his position, he doesn’t have to charm people to get them to do what he wants; they follow him by faith, which is a much more powerful gift.”
“So, what? I just walk out there like nothing happened?”
“That’s exactly what you do.” Hawk opened the door.
Calish stretched his neck and took a deep breath. “This isn’t going to be easy.” He let go of his blade and casually left the room. “Noran! What brings you here?” His voice faded as he went farther down the hallway. “I have some old friends over, so you better make it quick.”
Hawk followed him out, but before he closed the door, Nik stepped through it.
He secured the room and sat in a chair next to me. “You did well.”
“I didn’t, you did.” I looked at my hands and fiddled with my fingers. “When did you know I was in trouble?”
“When Marsh came back for your mother. Didn’t they tell you? I sent them here to keep you safe.”
“Can you really see the future?”
He laughed. “What do you think?”
“I think I want you to answer me.”
“You’re a better Seer than you give yourself credit for, you know?”
“That’s still not an answer to my question,” I pressed.
“Yes, we can. No, we can’t. The future is uncertain. There are too many variables. However, if you don’t meddle with it, the future generally happens the way we see it.”
“You told me I was going to be part of the Council, but then you told Marsh you saw me die at the gate. What changed?”
He sighed. “I believe in free will. You know this. I think it’s important for the future to be what you make it, not what you’re told it will be. I still see you at the Council, but there’s a chance I changed the course of the future when I told you that you’d find Calish.”
“Was I supposed to stay with you?”
He leaned forward, supporting his upper body weight on his arms draped over the bend of his knees. He tapped his fingertips together then lifted his eyes to meet mine. “You were supposed to follow your own path.” He looked at my lips then focused on the carpet between our feet. “I still don’t know your future. It’s like I said before, I don’t want to see it. But I see you in other people’s futures. It brings me joy you get to choose your own way. Even still, I won’t allow harm to come to you if I see it.”
“What about free will?”
“Consider it my contribution to free will.”
He tried to protect me, and I tended to complicate his efforts. “I never meant to hurt you, Nik.”
“I know.” He forced a smile. “This isn’t so bad. I still get to see you, right? Of course, I don’t know how many more fights I’ll survive if I stay.”
“That’s my fault.”
His eyebrows jumped. “You told him about the mirror?”
“No,” I blushed at the thought, “but he knows you have feelings for me.”
He chortled. “Everyone knows, Una. What scares him is he thinks you have feelings for me, too.”
“Nik—”
“You’re married, Una. I respect that, why do you think I’m sitting way over here? If you weren’t his wife, I’d be fighting tooth and nail for you, but he’s already won. He’s just wrestling with his own guilt.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“If the situation were reversed, and you were mine, he wouldn’t hold anything back.”
The door opened, and Calish walked in. He took notice where I sat and where Nik was and relaxed a bit. “Noran’s gone.”
“What did he want?” Nik asked.
“He wondered why I hadn’t been out in a few days. Having company seemed a believable alibi. He’s worried about rebuilding the Temple and feels like he’s losing the argument.” He took his Authority badge off his desk and pinned it to his collar.
“Are you going out?” I asked.
“I’m afraid I have to,” he sat next to me on the couch, “but I won’t go if you are still going to try to hurt yourself.”
“I feel a little better now that you all know. I’m sure that doesn’t make sense.” I sighed.
“No, it does.” He rubbed my back. “Come on, I’ll take you upstairs so you can get some rest. It’s been a long day, and it’s not yet lunch.” He stood and helped me off the couch.
I let him lead me to the master suite. Calish lay with me, and I snuggled into his chest, knowing his affection for me wouldn’t last long. He stroked my hair as I listened to his strong and steady heartbeat. Calish never left until he thought I fell asleep. The only promise I had to wake next to him was when sleep took him first. He may have spared a few minutes to cuddle me, but he was too alert to suggest he intended to stay. The best I could offer was giving him permission to return to business. I slowed my breathing and pretended to be lost in slumber. As I suspected, he removed his arm from under my head and slid smoothly off the bed.
“I’m going to make this up to you,” he swore. The door closed, and he was gone.
Chapter 9
“Are you in there?” I looked deep into the washroom mirror. It took a moment, but she made herself known by a slight nod of her head. “Thank you for helping me yesterday.” I sat on the stool at the vanity counter. She put her hand to her heart and closed her eyes as if to express her sympathy.
“I once considered Kali a friend.” My eyes darted around the room before I found the courage to make my confession aloud. “The last ti
me I saw her, we fought. She and her grandfather came to our house and—”
My reflection tapped on the glass and signaled for me to stop.
“Oh, right. I guess you were there. Right.”
She waited patiently.
“My head feels better, but honestly, I wish I could forget what happened to her.”
She shook her head.
“I know; it’s not possible to clear a Seer.”
She sat on the stool on her side of the mirror and sighed.
How strange it is to see myself, my reflection, as an entirely different person.
She didn’t talk back to me, but she did communicate. We understood each other. She represented an alternate version of me, a part of me I needed. Had she always been there, or did my gift give birth to her awareness?
“Do you have a name?”
She shrugged, pointed to me and then to herself.
“I know you are me, but it seems like you have your own identity, too. Can I name you?”
She waved her hand like my gesture was unnecessary.
“Wait, I have the perfect one!” I stood and breathed hot air on the glass. It fogged, and I wrote my name in it. Beneath that I wrote it backward.
Anu.
“What do you think?”
She smiled and nodded as I returned to my seat. As soon as my bottom had met the stool, she was gone, and the person in my reflection was nothing more.
I freshened up and headed downstairs. I didn’t want to be alone, yet I didn’t want to talk about Noran’s house either. My friends were supportive up to this point, so I took it on faith they would continue to be. With Calish and Hawk gone, Ino, Marsh, and Trisk had found the ale and decided to unwind in the front room. I couldn’t blame them. If I didn’t believe in keeping my body clear of inebriation while pregnant, I would have happily participated, especially today.
They didn’t notice me there, so I slipped into the kitchen to find Qarla. I felt as if I owed her some explanation for not participating in the task we’d conspired to do. I’d come up with a believable story to not only apologize to her but ask her to return the supplies. She’d understand; I was pregnant, obviously ill, and with Noran being so close, I figured I’d go back to the camp when Marsh and the others left.
Scavenger Girl: Season of Toridia Page 10
