by Cee, DW
“Laney?” Max interrupted my thought. I’d been mostly a space cadet this evening since I’d come down from the kids’ room. “Everyone’s gone. I’d like to stay and hang out with you till you’re ready to go to sleep. Do you mind?”
Where was I when everyone left?
“I don’t mind, Max, but it’s OK. You can go and hang out with Jane instead. The twins and I will be all right by ourselves. I’ve babysat them many times before.”
“I know, but it would make me feel much better if I stayed with you little bit.”
“Would you like some coffee and a slice of cake? I saw a coconut cake sitting in the fridge.”
“That Em has such a sweet tooth this pregnancy.” Max started the coffee himself while I took out the cake. “I think every time I come here she has a different cake in the fridge.”
I agreed. “I think Jake’s been feeding her habit by bringing home cake every chance he gets.”
“Well, I know I’ve enjoyed this habit of hers.”
When we got to the table, I hesitated wondering if I should ask him the question that’s been on my mind.
“You look like you have something you want to ask me.”
“How did you know?”
“You have a very expressive face, Laney. I don’t think you could ever lie, because it will show up right on your face.”
“That’s not good.” I worried.
“You afraid Donovan might catch on to your big secret?”
My face must have blanched because Max choked on his coffee trying to keep himself from laughing. Damn! This was seriously not good.
“You Reid girls all have a crush on him at some point in your lives?”
“Is it that obvious?” What a nightmare! If Max caught on this easily, who else knew?
Max tousled my hair. He would’ve made such a neat older brother. I could see why Emily had loved him so much, and why Jane was so crazy about him now.
“I don’t think anyone else knows. I only noticed when Josh took a liking to you. I watched you a little bit more carefully, wondering where my brother was going wrong. And that’s when I noticed the obvious answer. How long have you liked him?”
“May I ask you to keep this confidential, even from Jane? Would it make things difficult for you if I asked you to hold a secret from her?”
“Not at all, Laney. If you tell me something in confidence, it’s just between you and me. It has nothing to do with Jane.”
“I’ve had a crush on him since I was ten.” I put my head down on the table and put my hands over my head because I was so embarrassed. “I’m so pathetic, huh?”
“Since you were ten?” Max was in shock. “Wow. That’s half your life.”
“Pathetic!”
“I think it’s wonderful Laney. I think you two suit nicely.”
“You do? You’re probably the only one who thinks that way. I don’t even think we suit. I’m too young and definitely not cosmopolitan enough.”
“I think you’re a beautiful young lady with a lot going for her. In my opinion, he’s not good enough for you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say. But, no matter—I leave soon and all should be back to normal.”
“What does that mean?”
“This is probably something you won’t understand, but my heart is so bruised from years of ‘loving’ someone without being loved in return, I needed a clean break. I had that break when I didn’t see Donovan for years, but since he’s come back into my life, the pain’s been inescapable. You must think I’m such a loser—running away. Initially, this trip to London started as a getaway from reality, but now, it’s turned into a getaway from Donovan.”
“I wish you wouldn’t do that, but I can’t say I don’t understand what you’re feeling. When Emily and I first broke up, I wished I had a place to go and not have any contact with her. The first time I saw her a year and a half after our break-up was almost as bad as the break-up itself.”
“How did you do it? You were both so much in love. How did you let her go?”
“Em meant that much to me. I didn’t see any other way but to allow her to find her happiness. And look who she found. She and Jake are perfect for one another.”
“They are, and so are you and Jane. I know she isn’t the easiest person to please, but Jane’s one of the best people I know.” I didn’t know if I should reassure Max that Jane’s harmless flirting with Donovan was nothing more than fun banter. I desperately wanted to give Max the same comfort he afforded me, but I thought I might be overstepping what’s proper. “You are lucky to have Jane as your girlfriend, and she’s more than lucky to be with you. Right after Jake, I think you are the best fish in the pond.”
Deciding we’d had enough of this maudlin conversation, I gave Max a wide smile, and he smiled right back at me. I hoped Jane understood what a prize she had in this man.
“What are you still doing here?” Donovan questioned, mildly irritated.
“Taking care of someone who needed a little taking care of,” Max said with a wink and a grin. “You want me to kick him out?” he whispered and hugged me good night. “Or you could try letting him know how you feel before you leave.” I pulled away shocked at the suggestion. Max nodded his head in encouragement. “Try it. You may be surprised at the result.”
“Don’t you have a girlfriend to tend to?”
“I surely do!” Max kissed my head and patted me on the back as a farewell.
“What was that all about?”
“Nothing. If you’re here for your bag, I left it by the kitchen door.”
“What bag?”
I pointed to his overnight bag by the door and walked away. I was too worn out for good-byes with this man. I went up to the guest room, went under the blanket and turned on the television.
“What was that?”
“What was what?” I asked the man who wouldn’t go away when I needed him to go away, and stay when I wanted him to stay. “What have I done wrong, this time?”
“You just left me back there.”
“Mr. Taylor, I’m tired. Thanks to you, it’s been a long day for me physically, mentally and...” Once again, diarrhea of the mouth. “Can I please be myself without being judged, compared or belittled? I can only take so much.” Damn! Why couldn’t I just shut up?
“I can understand the physical part; I am sorry about that. You are such a good athlete, it would’ve been unfair to your family to have someone else try and be their pitcher.”
“Fair enough. Apology accepted. Good night.” I turned off the TV and the light – thank God for universal remotes!
Donovan wouldn’t be pushed away. He came and sat upon the bed, and on my side. “What did I do to you mentally?” I shut my eyes and kept quiet. “I’m not leaving, and we’ve got a lot to talk about.”
“You can sit there all you want. I’m going to sleep.” I opened one eye a few seconds later and he hadn’t moved. “You and Jane...” I didn’t want to throw my cousin under the bus so I stopped talking.
“Jane and I, what?”
Fine! If this is what he really wanted, I’d give him a piece of my mind. “I fed the kids, bathed the kids, caught a kid who was about to fall on his head, put crying kids to bed by myself, only to discover Jane upset with me for who knows what reason, and you belittling all my efforts by telling Jane that I was only a little girl and could be dismissed because of my age.” Donovan stupidly tried to get a word in, to no success. “Then you and Jane have the nerve to accuse Josh and me of not wanting to work in the real world or have any responsibilities?” I was pissed at this point. “Do you know that Josh day trades his money and has made enough to buy a small home and finance this art trip?”
Donovan looked surprised and showed a little remorse for thinking so little of Josh.
“And do you know that I worked my ass off the last four years in school? I made the Dean’s list every semester, and I’ve had a job since my juni
or year in high school. You may not think very highly of me, but I have many interests and goals that you have no idea about, Mr. Taylor. Yes, I’m going to enjoy myself next year, but dammit, I deserve it.”
“I’m sorry if you thought I was belittling you, but I’m not afraid to tell you, everyone goes through four years of college and most people have a job during those years. That’s nothing special. I guess I’m old school where education is concerned. Not too many people just drop everything to go travel for a year. Then, to come back and...” He stopped knowing he was about to dismiss film school as well.
“Let’s just forget it. I don’t need to justify anything I do to you. My parents are fine with my decision, and my grandparents think it’s a fine decision as well. In your eyes, girls like me will always be frivolous and not good enough. You stick to what you believe is the correct path to success.”
“Delaney, you’re now being unfair to me. Just because I said...”
My cell phone rang, hallelujah, and I was spared the lecture. “Hey Jake.”
“The house is still standing and the babies are asleep?”
“Yes and yes. Both are well. How are you and Emily?”
“My wife ate well and now she’s sleeping. She was upset when I told her we were spending the night here, but once she embraced the idea, she was grateful for the rest. We are both thankful to you for taking care of the kids.”
“It’s my pleasure, Jake.”
“Laney, I keep hearing an interesting rumor at the hospital these days. Care to confirm or deny?”
Jake had finally figured out my secret. “I can confirm only that I’ve been allowed the privilege of figuring out what I want next year.”
“So you got into med school and deferred it?”
“Yes.”
“You are one phenomenal young lady.” Making Jake this proud wiped away any anger from today. All was right again. “Do your parents know?”
“Not yet, but they will at graduation. Can you keep this info to yourself for a bit longer? It’s been hard enough with my parents accepting my decision to move, I can’t take any more coercion—and you know Dad’s going to go nuts when he hears.”
“All right. I’ll keep my mouth sealed for just a bit longer.”
“Thank you, Jake, and have a good night.”
“Same to you, Laney.”
Once again, I’d said too much in front of Donovan. Briefly, I wondered who I could call to get out of this mess! Deciding to go back to “sleep,” I closed my eyes and waited for the questions to begin. There was no sound initially, then I heard a buzzing, a gargling, a rinsing, and I saw a light turn off. What the hell was going on?
The blanket lifted on the other side. Arghh! What the hell? “What do you think you are doing, Mr. Taylor?”
“It’s going to be a long night of explanations after that phone call, so I decided to get ready for bed.”
Abruptly sitting up, I saw Donovan in a low-hanging pajama bottom and a white nightshirt. And he was actually hopping into bed with me.
“This is not your bed,” I stammered.
“It’s not yours, either,” he laughed. “I’m tired too so let me get in, let’s talk, then let’s sleep.”
“We can’t sleep in the same bed.”
“Then you can move to another room. I called this room when I first got here. You rudely moved my stuff out of the way.”
“Who said you could spend the night here?”
“Jake.”
“But I thought you had left with Jane, earlier. You didn’t even say good-bye when you left so I thought you were gone for the night.”
He got himself comfortable and turned my way. “You were wrong. I let Jane know I was going home to pick up some clothes for tomorrow, and that I’d be back. If she never told you that, then blame her.” I had nothing to say after that explanation. “So you want to start with your explanation, or do I need to start with my defense against your accusations?”
Always the lawyer! “Where do you want me to begin?” I figured since he was right next to me in bed, I had no choice but to give him what he wanted.
“First of all, what the hell are you wearing to bed? Is that considered pjs?”
That was a funny question. I was in really ugly, baggy pants, and an even baggier shirt that covered the baggy pants. Hey, it was comfortable and I wasn’t exactly thinking of entertaining in bed. I was extremely grateful I hadn’t taken off my bra, yet. That could’ve been a scary sight.
“I’m in my boyfriend sweats, and a boyfriend tee.”
“Uh-huh...is your boyfriend a sumo-wrestler? That outfit is like four sizes too large for you.” He was looking me up and down making me feel uncomfortable.
“I wasn’t planning on having a party in this bed tonight, so excuse me!”
“Forget the clothes—start with the conversation with my buddy. What was that all about?”
“Can you promise to keep my secret? No one in my family knows yet except for Emily, and now Jake.”
Donovan made a rolling of the hand gesture urging me to continue with the story. “I applied to two graduate school programs and got into both, and was given the opportunity to defer both.”
“Film school and...?”
“Med school.”
“Shit! Are you fucking with me?”
Now I was offended. “This is why I didn’t want to tell you or anyone else. Why is it so hard to believe that I got into med school? Do I come off as that much of a dumb blonde? Is it so difficult to...”
“Shut up, Delaney and keep going with the confessions.” Now that was just rude. I wasn’t going to let anyone talk to me that way, no matter how much I was in love with him.
I got back into bed, turned myself around and faced the other way.
“Dammit all to hell,” he muttered, “this is worse than getting Rachel to talk.” He tried to pry my body around but I was a lot stronger than I looked. I didn’t budge, much. “Turn around or I’m going to go over to your side and lay on top of you.” I didn’t turn, and he did as he threatened. He got out of bed and walked over to my side, but I quickly turned over to his side and moved. Donovan was just fast enough to catch me as I turned, and he forced me to face him. “I’ve never questioned your brain power. When you mentioned med school, it took me off guard because you never mentioned even taking a science class, much less excelling in them.”
“Well, I double majored in English and chemistry. I enjoy both subjects, and I worked hard all four years getting my degree and fulfilling the requirements to apply to both schools.”
“Shit-yeah, you did. You must have kicked-ass in undergrad.”
I gave him a sly smile. “I did kick-ass. My GPA could probably kick your GPA’s ass to the curb.”
“Uh...I don’t think so. Your cousin and I both graduated cum laude. Beat that, Little Girl.”
“Well, I’m graduating with summa cum laude honors, Old Man. Did I beat that?”
“You’re a fucking genius! Does Jake know this?”
“No. You’re the only one. That’s my Father’s Day surprise for Dad. He’s going to be so happy to hear my name called at graduation. I worked super hard to make Mom and Dad proud of me.”
I sat back up in bed because it was too weird laying in bed together with Donovan.
“So that’s why you’re going off to London for a year? You need to cool your Mensa-sized brain?”
“That, among other reasons.”
“And those reasons are...?”
Now this part, I couldn’t tell him the truth. “I just want a break before going back to school, especially med school, if that’s what I end up choosing.”
“Well, I guess I owe you and Josh an apology. I thought...”
“Oh, I know what you thought. There are so many thoughts you have about me that are incorrect. I’m not that little girl anymore, I don’t date every guy who crosses my path, and there is a purpose to my life. You just d
on’t care to see it. But that’s OK. I know I don’t mean much more to you than...” Who knew what I meant to this man?
“Let’s get a few things clear,” he started what I hoped would be a long apology. “When I tell you I’ll drive you home, I mean for you to finish what you are doing and get in my damn car. That does NOT mean you call a cab in the middle of the night and get in by yourself. You got that?”
“Is this like a rerun of Tom Hank’s A League of their Own? Are you going to now tell me that there’s no crying in baseball?”
That brought out a gruff laugh from Mr. Taylor. “Stop being a smart ass,” he said and lightly pushed my head with the palm of his hand. “Secondly,” he cleared his throat and tried to contain the laughter, “I have never questioned your virtue, and when I talked to your dad, I only said what I said because both of us know you are above reproach. Your dad and I were having a little fun at your expense. It was a joke!”
“Well, I don’t like those kinds of jokes. This is another area where I have to work really hard to keep people from getting wrong ideas about me.” I shot back.
“Understood.” He nodded. “Now my turn.” He looked me dead in the eye and wouldn’t let my eyes roam away. “You’ve said several times now in the last twenty-four hours that you think I’m belittling you. I’m not. I don’t know why you would take it that way. Sometimes things are said in jest. Can’t you take a joke?”
“Most of what you say is not done in jest. ‘Why the hell do you date so much? I don’t get why so many guys ask you out. No more drinking, Little Girl. So she can waste away a year of her life doing nothing productive.’” I didn’t mention that last statement he said to Jane where he preferred a woman like Jane to a little girl like me. That one was too painful.
“You have a photographic memory too? I don’t think I said even half those things.” The grin on his face admitted his guilt.
“Why are we even having this conversation? What do you care how I feel? Don’t pretend to care.” It hurts too much when I know it’s not true.
