by Cee, DW
“Bee!” I heard Nick hollering from outside.
“Yeah?” I hollered back over the water.
“Your phone keeps ringing. Do you want me to answer it?”
“Who’s calling?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t think you’d appreciate me digging through your purse.”
“Can you check?”
Finishing up my shower, I got out and draped a towel around myself, and Nick hollered again. “The screen on your phone says Luke. Shall I just let it go?”
Shoot! I’d forgotten Luke was supposed to call me after his meeting in New York. He’d worry if I didn’t answer, but with my hair sopping wet, I wasn’t in the position to pick up the phone.
“Um…I need to talk to him, but I can’t right now…” The phone continued to ring.
“This isn’t Beatrice, this is Nick.” Nick must have picked up the call, and Luke must have called out my name without knowing I wasn’t on the other line. “Bee was injured today and I’m helping her out.” Ah damn! I hoped there wasn’t any machismo attitude on Luke’s end, as Nick sounded a bit pissed on his end. “She’s in the shower…” I stepped out in a towel and grabbed the phone before this got unnecessarily ugly and stepped back in the bathroom.
“Hey. Hi.” I greeted Luke.
“Beatrice! What happened?”
“Something fell on me at the warehouse and Nick was nice enough to help.”
“What the hell fell on you and why didn’t you call Donovan?”
Was this conversation really happening? Luke and I were dating, but I didn’t think he thought anything too serious of us. Being another laid-back pick of mine, he never spoke of commitment, so I believed he was another Nicholas Reid in my life. I chose not to let my heart get carried away by his seductive ways. I figured a little fun was all we would have. What was with this attitude and why was he angry with me?
“I’m unsure what fell on me, and Donovan and Laney are at the beach house.” It pissed me off that Luke was more upset about who I called, rather than wondering how I felt. “If that’s all, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” For some unknown reason, a sharp pain started from my chest and poured out through my eyes. Shit. What was wrong with me? Why was I always getting involved with men who only wanted something casual? Why couldn’t I find a Jake or a Donovan or a Max? Here I was in need of help and I had one man upset on the phone and another man probably waiting for me to get off the phone so he could get back to his girlfriend.
The tears fell so quickly and heavily, I hung up the phone. I felt so damn pathetic. I’d always relied on myself through any tough times, but since I’d gotten involved with Nick, nothing went the way I imagined.
“Bee.” Nick called out softly. “I’m counting to three then coming in. Don’t blame me if I see parts of your body I shouldn’t see.”
Nick found me sitting on the toilet bawling my eyes out. Could this night get any worse than having your ex find you in his brother’s bathroom, crying? If I weren’t so sad, I would’ve died of mortification.
“Will you give me a minute?” I stood up. “I promise. I’ll be out soon.”
He agreed, and gave me the space I desperately needed. Putting on my clothes, I hoped Nick would take me home. Calling him was a bad idea. The pity-party should be had in the privacy of my own home.
“Why didn’t you change into pajamas? Are they too big? Shall I go to Emily’s and see if I can borrow something from her?” Nick looked unhappy when I came back into the room ready to leave.
I shook my head. “I’d like to go home if that’s OK. I’m sorry to have kept you out this late. Could you do me one last favor and drop me off at the warehouse so I can get my car?”
“What’s the matter, Bee? Did your boyfriend say something to make you cry? Are you in pain?” Nick came and gave me a semi-hug. “How can I help you?”
“Will you take me home?” I pulled myself together before the tears fell again. I hated looking this pathetic. “I’m sure you’d like to get back home. I’m sorry I called you out tonight. This was a whole lot of trouble for nothing. I’ll keep taking the painkiller until the bruise heals. I should get home and get ready for the warehouse opening.”
Nick didn’t listen to a word I’d said. Instead, he gently tugged at my dress and pulled it up and over my head. He then pulled his extra-large t-shirt over me. “I’m not letting you go home tonight. I’ll drive you to the warehouse when you feel better. For now, sleep here. If anything should go wrong, you’ll have my dad, Jake, and Uncle Henry to help you. You’re family to the Reids, and everyone here cares about you. We don’t want to see you alone, especially not tonight.” But I don’t want Jake or either Dr. Reids.
I didn’t think I could win this battle with Nick. I figured once he went home, I’d ask Nick’s parents to drive me to the warehouse or I’d call a cab. Being with Nick was making me feel even sorrier for myself so I encouraged him to go home. “I’ll be all right, Nick. You go ahead and head home.”
I wondered how I’d sleep tonight. I hated sleeping on my stomach, but I didn’t think I had enough drugs in me to attempt to sleep on my side or back.
To show Nick that I was fine, I pulled out my laptop and got into bed. The thought of laying down was daunting, so I pretended I needed to work.
“You should get some rest. Do you want me to see if my dad can give you a sleeping pill?”
“No. I don’t want that. I need to be alert tomorrow. After I get some work done, I’ll go to sleep.”
“How will you sleep? You’re a side sleeper.”
He remembered… “I’ll figure something out.”
Without any hesitation, he got into bed from the other side and very carefully laid me down with him. I was on my side with my weight more on his body than on my back. This position was perfect for the body, but fatal for the heart.
“Does this work?” Nick asked, but couldn’t look me in the eye.
“It does, thank you. But…you don’t have to do this, Nick. I know you feel sorry for me right now and I really don’t want that. I hate having to rely on anyone for my well-being.”
He turned his body more into mine and stroked my back with his other hand. “It eats at me that you’re hurt and alone, but what I’m doing is not out of pity or sympathy. I wouldn’t bring just any woman to my parents’ home, and I would not lay here with just anyone.” Truly, I had no words. “You are special to me and to my family, and had we not been interrupted that pizza night at Laney’s, I was going to tell you what I didn’t get to say in Florence.” Did I want to or need to hear this? “Back on your birthday when you told me to take a hike, I was going to tell you the only woman I saw myself with ten years from now, was you. Those words have been sitting in my heart for months now. I’m glad I got to finally say them to you, although it appears to be too late.”
I couldn’t control the pain coming from every part of the body. I sobbed uncontrollably.
May 8, 2014 NICK: “Lean On Me” ~Bill Withers
“What the hell are you doing at work?” I couldn’t believe Bee would be stupid enough to work the day after she hurt herself. The pain woke her up throughout the night, and I knew she didn’t fall asleep until early this morning.
“I had to open the warehouse. I have all these employees showing up to work and I couldn’t not show up.”
This woman was a pain in my ass! “Let me see your back.” I stepped behind her to assess the damage.
“Nick.” She had the gall to step away from me. “No one here knows of the accident. I don’t want word to get out.”
“You should be resting. Your back looks worse today than it did last night.” I didn’t give a shit that she didn’t want me to see her back. I still probed.
“It’s not like I can lie down. I can’t even sit on anything but a stool. Standing and working help keep my mind off the pain.” I sighed loudly so she would see my annoyance. “I promise. I’ll continue with the painkillers and I
’ll stop when I get tired.”
My mind went back and forth on whether I should drag her back home. Last night after my heavy confession and the rainfall on my chest, Bee fell asleep. Though she was up constantly, I didn’t pursue our conversation. Part of me didn’t want to put myself out there any more than I had already done; Bee had not responded to my confession. Another part of me figured with her seeing Luke, there was nothing to be done. If this guy was offering her something I couldn’t, I had no right to step in the way of her happiness.
“Hey Nick. Long time no see. Do you remember me?”
“Yeah, of course. You’re Bee’s designer friend, Missy, right?” I was surprised to see her at the warehouse. “Are you here to check out Bee’s new venture?”
“Bee’s my new boss. And boy, is she bossy!” The two ladies laughed. “Bee and I haven’t had lunch or dinner yet. Do you want to join us?”
I glared at Bee. “Please tell me you haven’t been taking the painkillers on an empty stomach. It’s seven o’clock right now. Did you at least have breakfast?”
Bee’s lips flatlined into a non-committal answer.
“Why are you on meds?” Missy asked loudly. “What’s wrong?” I pulled up Bee’s shirt to show Missy the damage. Bee glared back at me and didn’t appreciate the meddling. “Oh my gosh!!! What the hell happened to you?”
“Nick beat me.” Bee said with a straight face. Missy’s head turned over to me faster than I could bust up laughing.
“Grab your stuff, Woman. Let’s go eat.” I commanded, and she obeyed, surprisingly.
“Tell me what happened to your back.” Missy implored as soon as we got into my car.
“From what I can tell, someone put our door stopper on one of the ladder rungs. I guess I bumped into the ladder, and the stopper fell on my back.”
“You mean the honking big kettle bell stopper that we have?” Missy yelled. “That shit weighs a ton!”
“And thus, the massive bruise all over her back, spreading to her front.” I scolded. “How did you get to work? When I left you this morning, you were knocked out.”
Missy gave her a funny look, which Bee ignored. “Your mother was kind enough to drive me to the warehouse. I woke up later than expected so I’ve been in the same clothes the past two days.”
“Have you eaten at all today? And how many pills have you taken?” Bee got really quiet—too quiet. “Bee?” I demanded an answer.
“I haven’t had a chance to eat because we’ve been so busy,” she confessed.
“Dammit Bee! You’re going to rip your stomach to shreds taking such strong medicine on an empty stomach.” That’s when she got even quieter. “You didn’t…you couldn’t have…have you been working all day without any medicine?” I lost it. “What the hell is wrong with you, Woman?” I turned the car around and headed back to the warehouse.
“What are you doing? Why are we headed back?”
“I’m dropping off Missy and taking you home. We’ll order food at your place while I ice you down. Your back must be throbbing. Fuck!” I must have startled both women because they went mute. “Sorry, Missy. Dinner another time?” was all I said as I dropped her off at the warehouse.
“Sure,” she said to me, and then told Bee, “I can take care of the warehouse if you want to stay home tomorrow. Sleep in. Rest. Do whatever you need to take care of that gnarly bruise on your back.”
“Bye.” Bee waved.
Bee knew I was pissed, and stayed clear away from me when we arrived at the loft. I started a bath for her while she called for takeout.
“Take a hot bath.” I commanded as soon as I came downstairs. “Your body is probably stiff and aching like hell. What’s the matter with you? Why would you do this to yourself? Is money so important that you would risk your health?” She didn’t say anything; instead, she headed to the tub. “How’s your stomach? Is it acidic at all from the medicine? Do not ever take medicine on an empty stomach.”
“I didn’t take any medicine so my stomach is fine!” she bit out. She was angry, but I was angrier.
“You mean you’ve been working the past ten plus hours in pain? You barely slept last night!” I roared. “How did you function—and without any food?”
“Stop yelling at me!” She yelled back. The Bee I knew was finally alive and ready to sting. “You can stop treating me like an invalid, stop acting like my father, and I’m sorry I bothered you. I’m not your responsibility anymore.” Shit. She was crying now. “Just go home.” She spoke in a defeated tone. “I shouldn’t have gotten you involved. I just didn’t have anyone else to call…I’m sorry I’ve upset you. Apologize to your girlfriend for me. I won’t call again.”
Bee walked away crippled in every sense of that word. What the hell was I to do now? She completely misunderstood my intentions. I was upset when I thought about the amount of pain she must have been in this entire day. It drove me nuts to think she hadn’t eaten all day. She probably hadn’t sat or rested at all today. I would take this pain for her if it were humanly possible—that’s how much I hurt for her. What was wrong with this woman? After what I told her last night, did she still not understand my feelings for her or was she just ignoring them?
It was time we had a talk and cleared the air. It was time we came to terms with where we stood. It was time we were both honest—this time was long overdue.
“Beatrice!” A man’s voice stopped me from heading upstairs. “Bee. Are you there?” Now this man was pounding on the door.
I opened the door before he huffed and puffed and blew the damn house down. “Can I help you?” I asked, annoyed.
“What the hell are you doing here, and where’s Beatrice?”
Ah shit. I guess my time started now.
May 12, 2014 BEE: “Honesty Is Such A Lonely Word” ~Billy Joel
After crying my eyes out in the shower, I stepped out to a shouting match downstairs. In my condition, I was only able to put on a robe, and I walked as fast as I could down to the ensuing argument.
“I asked why the hell you are here.” Damn! Luke was here.
“I am here because Bee asked me to be here.” Shit. Nick was still here.
“OK! Enough already.” I yelled over the yelling. “You guys are not helping my headache.”
“Beatrice. What happened to you, and why haven’t you returned my calls?”
How to answer this one…
Last I talked to Luke, he was angry I had called Nick for help. Regardless of whether or not he had a reason to be angry, I was angry with him for picking an inane time to be…angry. It was stupid of me and I was being petty, not returning his calls. This stupid duel of words between two hotheaded men needed to stop. I was not in any mood for this crap.
“Luke,” I addressed him first. “I have been crazy busy with the warehouse. I arrived to find all my employees waiting for me because I’d overslept, I have not eaten a single bite of food today because we were blessed with so much work, and I have yet to return any calls from Donovan or Laney, who have frantically been searching for me as well. It was only when they stopped by the warehouse that they knew I hadn’t died.” That explanation appeared to do the trick. He looked penitent.
“Nick.” I took a big breath. I was so much more emotional with him. “I thank you for taking care of me. You, your parents, your grandparents, Emily, and Jake all treated me like one of your own this morning. It was beautiful to experience the Reid love. I promise to eat, to take my medicine, and to sleep. I might have stayed on my warehouse floor the entire night had you not been resourceful and found me. You are a wonderful man, but I know you have a girlfriend who is probably wondering why the hell you’ve spent so much time with me. You can go home in good conscience knowing you’ve saved a friend’s life. One day, I hope you will count on me as one of your good friends if you need help.”
“Bee…” I didn’t know whether Nick felt sorry for me or he was feeling sorry for yelling at me.
“Now.” I kept up the brave speech. “If you men don’t mind, I’d like to heat up some soup, take my medicine, and curl into the comforts of my own bed.” I gave a big, fake smile. “As large and nice as your brother’s ultra-king-sized bed was, I prefer my tiny double.”
“Let me help you…” both men said some form of those words.
I held up my hand and said, “Nope. Thank you for the kind offers but please, I’d like to be alone tonight. I’ve been up to my eyeballs in conversation the entire day at work. I need silence.”
Both men wanted to say something. Neither man knew what to say. I pushed two reluctant friends out my door and walked upstairs.
I was afraid to lay on my stomach because my back killed. During the course of the day, I’d been running on a crazy amount of adrenaline. I knew if I stopped to rest at any point, I’d collapse.
