by Laura John
The contractor comes inside our empty building and shakes our hands.
“This place is a complete blank slate, and it’s huge… it’s perfect,” he says, looking around with a smile.
“Wait, I have to call my friend,” Meadow says. She pulls out her phone and video calls Liam. “Hey sexy,” she tells him when he answers, and he laughs.
The meeting goes fantastic, and the way Meadow lights up talking about seating warms my heart. I’d do anything to make this girl smile like that. I’m not going to lie, even if she was a shit cook, I would have dropped all my money just to see her this happy.
“Okay, so I have a friend who is going to set me up a website; we need to start getting the buzz out there,” Meadow says, making a list on a notepad.
“And what are we calling this place?” I ask, knowing she hasn’t picked a name yet.
“I was actually thinking about that last night and came up with the perfect name,” she tells me with an evil smile. Shit, I hope I like it.
“And?” I raise a brow at her, wanting her to continue.
“M Squared!” Her eyes gleam with excitement, “Because M and M sounds stupid and doesn’t work. We’ll obviously do a big M and a little 2 for the logo. We can make the sign light up to catch attention.” She starts vibrating with excitement again.
A rush of emotions runs through me. She actually wants to include me in the name of her restaurant? I take a deep breath, trying to contain the tears that all of a sudden want to burst out.
“I love it,” I tell her, pulling her into my arms.
“No me without you,” she whispers into my chest.
She pushes me away and grabs her notepad, writing out the M2 so big it takes up the whole page.
I hug her again, it really is perfect, and I love that she’s including me.
We continue business discussions, like hiring staff and figuring out a menu, and all the boring logistics of opening a restaurant.
“Let’s go get a drink. We can even go to a sports bar and watch your sexy boyfriend play,” Meadow says, grabbing my hand.
I laugh and follow her a few blocks away to my favorite sports bar.
“The game doesn’t start for a little bit, but they’ll probably be sharing stats of the players and random stuff,” I tell Meadow when we sit down.
“Why are sports so boring?” she asks, and I laugh.
“They aren’t that boring; you really need to come to a live game with me.”
“Mason, how long have we known each other? I’ve always said no, why would I say yes now?”
I laugh. “You aren’t wrong.”
I look at the TV and see that they are talking about Xavier, he’s been playing an amazing season. But my heart quickly sinks when I see a picture of us kissing.
Meadow quickly grabs my hand. “You can’t even tell it’s you,” she whispers. But my heart won’t stop racing.
I shouldn’t care. I knew this was a part of the life with him, but I’m still not ready for the law firm to know about me yet, and I don’t even know why. I’m so happy with Xavier, and I love him, but the fear I’ve carried for so long is still there.
“I don’t know why I’m freaking out. I guess I’m just not ready,” I whisper, and she squeezes my hand.
“It’s okay, this is all new. You’ll get there, eventually. At least they don’t have your name to out you before you’re ready.”
I nod, releasing a breath. She’s right.
The TV changes and I see Xavier standing in front of the stadium, looking slightly pissed off but still forcing a smile.
“All I’m going to say about my personal life is that I’m happy and in love. Any interviews from this point forward can focus on my playing. When my partner and I are ready to release more information about our lives, I’ll post it on social media. Until then, mind your own business,” he waves and walks in.
“I loved that,” Meadow smiles at me.
“Yeah, he’s a great guy, but I know he wants to make a formal announcement. I’m just not ready. Is it so wrong to just want to keep him to myself and only tell those we care about?”
She shakes her head. “But he’s famous, Mason, it’s going to happen one day. Wouldn’t it be better to get ahead of it?”
I nod. She isn’t wrong. “I’ll think about it.”
I know she’s right, but this anxiety that is washing over me makes it hard to breathe. What if I’m in way over my head? What if I can’t do this?
“Saw your interview,” I tell Xavier when he calls.
“I’m so sorry, babe. I hate when people don’t mind their own business. My PR team wants us to get ahead of it, though. People are going to be following us now, wanting to know who you are.”
I sigh. “I just wish we had more time. Why do people even care about your personal life? Shouldn’t it just matter how you play?”
“It should, but people feel like because I’m famous, that they deserve a look inside my life. I’m sorry, I wish we had more time too, but we are on borrowed time here. Would you rather someone just blast your name across the internet, or us make a statement?”
“Obviously option two, but I’m scared,” I admit.
“I know, babe. How about we do it sometime when I’m home next week. We’ll come up with a plan.”
“Okay… I love you.”
“Love you too, goodnight.”
We hang up and of course I can’t sleep. My brain is freaking out. My heart says love is love and just to make the statement, but my brain is telling me to run. A tear falls down my face as my brain and heart battle each other until I finally drift into an unsettled sleep.
“I missed you so much,” I tell Mason, smashing my lips to his.
He moans into my mouth. “Fuck, I didn’t even realize how hard it was going to be with you away, and it’s not even been a week this time.”
I chuckle. “Ready to go to dinner? I reserved us a secluded section so we shouldn’t be bothered.”
“I’m ready, but I’m even more ready for dessert,” he says, grabbing my crotch.
I laugh before bringing my lips back to his, loving the taste of him. “Plenty of time for that tonight.”
He sighs and reluctantly lets go.
“What does life look like for us after my season is over?” I ask Mason after the waiter brings us our food.
“Well, I was hoping you’d stay,” he says, reaching across the table. “With my job and Meadow’s restaurant just starting, I don’t think I can leave Sienna. I know your family is in California, but I’d really like it if you’d stay with me come October.”
I smile and nod, “I’d do anything for you. Of course I’ll stay.”
My family may be back in Cali, but home is with Mason, and I want to stay so badly. I’m glad he brought this up because I don’t think I ever want to leave him.
His smile grows, and my heart aches with happiness.
“Mid-July is perfect weather in Sienna,” I tell Mason as we walk out to my car. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to handle the winter months here.” A shiver runs down my spine just thinking about the cold.
He chuckles. “You’ll get used to it. But if you are really cold, I could help you warm up,” he tells me with a wink before bringing his lips gently to mine.
I know that this is the man I want for the rest of my life.
We stand there kissing for a minute before I feel something wet on the back of my neck. I turn to see two large men standing there sneering at us. Did they just spit on us?
“Faggots make me sick,” the one spits out while the other stares at Mason with an evil smile.
“I always knew you were a queer,” he laughs. “All those fake girlfriends while you were taking it up the ass all along. What do you think your boss is going to say when he finds out? Last I heard, you were still in the running for Junior Partner. Won’t be anymore.” He pulls out his phone and starts taking pictures.
“Stop it, Trent,” Mason says between his
teeth. I’m taken aback by the anger in Mason’s eyes. I’ve never seen him like this before.
“What are you going to do? You’re just a nice boy with a promising future.” He laughs again and Mason lets go of my hand, balling his into fists.
“Don’t, babe, let’s just go,” I tell him, placing my hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down.
He shrugs it off and takes a step towards Trent.
“You are a fucking bully, and if you know what’s good for you, you’ll delete those damn photos,” Mason yells at him.
I don’t know what has come over Mason, but this isn’t the man I fell in love with.
“Fuck you! I’m going to make a good amount of money off these photos. TMZ is going to love to know who Xavier Briggs is dating.”
Before I even realize what’s happening, Mason’s fist collides with Trent’s chin.
“You dumb fuck!” Trent yells and punches Mason back.
“Stop it!” I yell, but no one listens.
Trent’s friend pulls out his phone and starts filming. A million emotions rush over me. I grab Mason’s arm to pull him off, but he pushes me and the look in his eyes is terrifying.
“No!” he yells. “This asshole has fucked with my life for too long. He deserves whatever fucking happens.”
He turns back, and they continue to brawl while I stand there with tears in my eyes. I’ve never seen such hatred pour from Mason before, but I do not like this side of him. How can I just stand here and watch this? I can’t.
Right as I’m about to walk away, a police cruiser pulls up and separates Mason and Trent. Mason doesn’t even look sad as they cuff him and throw him in the back. But my heart is breaking. The man I love has to be somewhere inside him, but he’s buried deep inside the hate that has surfaced. Are we going to be able to survive this?
I grab my phone and call Johnny. Mason’s going to need a lawyer, and Leah will know who to get.
“Mason asked me to tell you to go home,” Leah says, walking out of the room they are holding him in.
“Why? I’ll wait,” I tell her, and she hangs her head.
“You have a game tomorrow. Just go. It’s going to be a while before we can get him out because it’s so late.”
I want to fight, but I have no energy left, so I stand, letting out a sigh, and walk out. Mason had fear inside of him before, but now mixed with so much hate, I don’t know what’s going to happen to us. Is he going to push me away? If he doesn’t, can I stay with someone so filled with so much anger? Someone who can be so violent in the blink of an eye? I was terrified watching him fight and I never want to feel like that again.
Me: Please call me.
Me: Are you okay?
Me: Talk to me.
Me: I love you.
Me: Why are you shutting me out?
Me: Call me when you’re ready.
“You look like shit,” Johnny says as we walk to go for brunch together.
“Thanks. Maybe if your brother-in-law returned my calls, I’d actually be able to sleep,” I tell him before yawning. I feel exhausted all the way to my bones
“He’s still giving you the cold shoulder?” he asks, and I nod.
“He won’t even give me the decency of breaking up with me. Instead, he’s fucking ghosting me. We could make this work if he opened up to me. But he’s choosing to tuck tail and run.”
“I’m sorry, man.” He places a hand on my shoulder. “I don’t know why Mason isn’t talking to you, but maybe he just needs time?”
I shake my head. “I understand, but I just don’t know how long I’m going to be able to wait for him. Every day that passes I get more and more angry, and more and more hurt.”
Fuck, I sound like a pussy, admitting this to Johnny, but it’s the truth. I feel like I’ve been gutted and there is no way to put myself back together again.
“I get it. I’ll talk to him.”
I wish Mason would come to me on his own. Do I even want Johnny to talk to him for me? I don’t think I do, but I don’t tell him no either.
Seven fucking days of torture, how much more of this can I take? And besides the hurt I’m feeling, I’ve also been having to ward off the fucking paparazzi—which is not fun. I’m trying to protect Mason, but it’s hard; the video has gone viral.
He got mad at me for giving him the silent treatment, and now he’s doing the same thing. Maybe we weren’t meant for forever. That thought hurts.
My phone starts ringing in my pocket, and I jump, pulling it out as quickly as I can, but it isn’t Mason. It’s Sabrina.
“Hello?” I answer, wondering why after six months she’s calling now.
“Xavier, we need to talk,” her voice is full of emotion and I can tell she’s been crying.
“Okay, what’s up?”
“I just had your baby… He’s only twenty-five weeks old, and I’m freaking out.”
I drop the phone and Johnny stares at me. Fuck.
My life just got completely flipped upside down, and the person I want to call right now is blocking me out. Why is this happening? Why now?
“Why the fuck aren’t you calling Xavier?” Leah asks, coming downstairs from putting Eddie down for his nap.
“It’s for the best. I humiliated him. Why would he want to be with me?”
I walk to her fridge and grab a beer.
“Don’t you think he can make that decision for himself?” she asks, and I feel the rage in me growing.
I’ve been having a hard time controlling my anger since the night of the fight. My court-mandated therapist says it’s because I held down emotions for so long that when they finally bubbled to the surface, it was like taking the lid off of a shaken up pop bottle. Apparently, it can take a while for them to regulate again.
I take a few deep breaths like my therapist taught me to, trying to ground myself.
“I’m a mess right now. Until I can get my emotions together, I can’t be with anyone,” I tell her, and she rolls her eyes.
I shouldn’t have come here. What was I thinking?
“Relationships take work, Mason. Pushing Xavier out isn’t the right answer.”
“Coming over was a mistake,” I say, turning and heading to the door.
“You’re an asshole,” Leah shouts behind me, but I don’t reply. I just keep on walking.
“Can you please come to my place to go over the menu with Liam and me?” Meadow begs on the phone.
“I’m working,” I say with little emotion.
“That’s all you do these days,” she whines.
“Yeah, well, I’m surprised I still have a fucking job, Meadow. I am the one funding your restaurant,” I bite out a little too harshly. I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t bother. Call me when you aren’t a dickhead anymore.”
I hang up and sigh.
“Mr. Henry wants you in his office,” Nancy tells me through the intercom.
Well, I guess now is the time that I’m getting fired.
I knock on the door and walk in.
“Come on in, Mason. We have a lot to talk about.”
I nod and sit down in front of his desk.
“Junior Partner is a large responsibility and we only accept the best of the best,” he starts, and I nod. “I’m sure you have seen the video that was leaked to TMZ two weeks ago?” Again, I nod. “And what do you have to say for yourself?
“I’ve been anticipating this conversation, sir. I never expected my sexuality to come out the way it did, and it’s embarrassing, to say the least.”
He looks at me almost confused, “Mason, you know this conversation has nothing to do with your sexuality, right?”
My eyes go wide and I shake my head. “Actually no, I figured that I was being passed for Junior Partner in part because of my sexuality.”
“Just because we have never had a gay partner here before doesn’t mean we are against it, Mason. What is bothering us, however, is the fact that you got arrested for fighting and it
was blasted all over the internet. That doesn’t look good for our firm. We aren’t passing up on you yet, but you do need to get your life together. As I told you before, we are a family firm. I would like it very much if you brought your boyfriend to the family summer barbeque next week.”
I’m literally in shock right now. They honestly don’t care? Why did I fight Trent, anyway? Because he took pictures of me? Because he called me a fag? I don’t even know anymore. And now I’ve pushed away the man I love because I’m a mess, and I’m going to lose everything I’ve worked for, anyway. I’m an idiot.
“I’ll see if he’s available,” I lie.
I walk out of the office, disappointed in myself. No one cares about me being gay, but what I did was unacceptable. Not only could I have blown my chance at being a junior partner, but I pushed an amazing man away. I need to win him back.
When I get to my office, I pull out my cell. Dialing Xavier’s number, I wait as it rings, and rings, and rings. No answer.
I fucked up. Now what do I do?
In the last two weeks, my life has changed unexpectedly. I lost the relationship I was so desperately craving, but I also got unexpected but welcome news. One night of forgetting a condom changed everything.
I stare at my son. He looks so tiny in his little chamber, with all the cords and tubes surrounding him. I wish I could hold him. There are so many machines making noises, and I wish I knew what they meant. Is he okay? Do I need to get a nurse or a doctor? Sabrina seems calm, though, and no one has rushed in yet, so I guess it’s normal.
“I’m sorry I kept this a secret. I didn’t want you to think I was doing this for the money,” Sabrina says with tears falling down her face. “I was terrified when I found out. I just knew I wasn’t ready to be a mom. I also didn’t want to abort it. I planned to give the baby up for adoption, but when I went into labor early and saw him for the first time, I knew my plan was wrong. You deserved to have the choice. I know I told you this on the phone already, but I don’t want to be a part of his life. I don’t want to confuse him growing up, and I’m not ready to be a mom.”
