Things got a little more interesting after we’d eaten ice cream bars and Declan tried to put Drake to bed.
“But I’s not tired!” he yelled, running around.
“I knew I shouldn’t have given him sugar this close to bedtime,” Declan said with a sigh.
“You know, I read somewhere that sugar thing is a myth. But, um, yeah.” Drake was bouncing off the walls. That article might have been full of it.
“Okay, Drake, time for bed. Do you want me to read you a story?” Declan said. Drake slowed down and skidded to a stop in front of us. We’d been sitting in the living room and he’d been doing laps.
“No, Blair!” How did I know?
“Do you mind?” Declan said.
“Not at all,” I said, getting up and taking Drake’s hand. “Actually, I might have prepared for this.” I got my purse and pulled out three books I’d managed to buy before Declan picked me up tonight. He was always getting me books, so I thought I’d return the favor for Drake.
“Books!” Drake shrieked. “Books, books, books,” he sang.
“Say thank you to Blair,” Declan said, and Drake did.
“You’re very welcome. Which one do you want to read?” He held up the first book, Where the Wild Things Are. How coincidental.
I laughed and Drake bounced to his room. Declan got him dressed in his pajamas and I sat in the chair next to his bed and he climbed in.
I read the book, and Drake watched in rapt attention before he asked me to read it again, and then moved on to the second book, which I read twice, and then the third book.
“He’s crashing,” Declan whispered in my ear halfway through reading the third book for the first time. Oh, I saw. Drake was trying to keep his eyes open, but it wasn’t working. Sleep was too powerful. By the time I finished the book, he was out. Declan and I backed out of the room and shut the door.
“I feel like we should celebrate,” Declan said. “He’s been giving me a hard time about getting to bed lately, but that wasn’t bad at all.”
“Got any wine?” I asked.
“I think I might need something a little stronger.”
We went back to the kitchen and Declan made us both vodka tonics.
“I should probably just have one,” I said. “Raine and I did shots when we got our edits back yesterday and I think I’m still feeling them.”
He sat on the couch and I sat down next to him, curling my feet under me. His arm went around my shoulders and I snuggled into him.
“This,” he said.
“What?”
“I love this.”
“Me too.”
I sipped my drink and we sat in the silent house, just enjoying being with one another.
“Did Ada accost you?” I sat up and looked at him.
“What?”
“Did Ada accost you when you went to the bathroom? I didn’t realize that was what happened until she left.” I could tell this had been bothering him for a while, but he didn’t want to talk about it in front of Drake.
I sighed. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I didn’t want to make it into a big thing.
“She just said some things. I ignored her. That was it.”
“What did she say?” I sipped at my drink.
“Do you really want to know?” He set his drink down on the coffee table.
“Yes. She’s my employee and if she’s acting in a way she shouldn’t, then I think I should know about it. Especially if she’s conducting herself that way in my home, to one of my guests.” He had a point. She was the one who had approached me, but I wished this stupid thing would die and not go any further. God, I hated drama. Especially drama of this sort.
“Okay, but let me just say that I didn’t do anything to start this. I’ve never approached her, or said anything to her to start any sort of rivalry,” I said.
Declan stroked my shoulder.
“I know you wouldn’t. I trust you.”
“Okay, so she basically insinuated that I was only here to try and get with you and take your money and that you were in love with her and that you had some sort of relationship. ‘He’s mine’ is a direct quote.” I’d never seen Declan’s jaw clench like that. His nostrils flared for a moment and I could tell. He. Was. Pissed.
“She, um, also said that she slept with you before I did, but I think she was just trying to start something. Get me mad,” I said. Shut up, Blair. You’re not making it better.
“I can’t believe she would do that,” Declan said, shaking his head. “I’m not hers. Not at all. If I’m anyone’s, I’m yours. But I’m not. I already dealt with this kind of thing in my marriage and I swore, never again.” He got up and started walking in front of the coffee table. And then he stopped and faced me.
“My wife cheated on me. But I cheated on her first.”
“What?” It was a good thing I was sitting down.
“I cheated on my wife. That’s why she cheated on me, initially. But then she fell in love and ran away. But maybe she wouldn’t have if I hadn’t beaten her to it. It’s my fault.”
I had no words. None.
“Who?”
“Who did I cheat on her with? Not Ada. It was one of my wife’s friends. So she slept with my friend. That’s how the whole thing started.”
“I can’t believe this,” I said. It was unbelievable. Completely. I’d thought, since I saw the dossier, that I knew everything about him. Nope. Guess not.
“She tried to use it against me to get more money, but she had no proof. I had photographs.” Yes, I knew. Raine had found some of them, but I hadn’t seen them. I hadn’t wanted to.
“Are you angry with me? You have every right to be.”
Like with Gran, it was like my feelings took a minute to catch up with the current situation. I still hadn’t caught up to losing Gran. This was probably going to take a while.
But, if I did get angry with him, I didn’t have a right to. Yes, he’d cheated on his wife. But I’d illegally searched out his personal information. They weren’t the same thing, but they were both lies.
I had to tell him.
“I have something to tell you too. It’s probably going to make you hate me.” His face softened.
“I could never hate you. No matter what you did. But you have every right to hate me.”
“Let’s just hold up on the hating and let me tell you. I tried to tell you before, but I couldn’t get it out.” I felt like I needed to stand, so I did, and then started walking. Declan traded places with me and sat on the couch.
“Okay, so it all started with the book Raine and I are writing,” I said, starting at the very beginning of the ridiculousness.
“So there you go. It sounds even worse when I say it out loud. And I know it’s wrong and I know I’ve been lying to you. I feel awful.” I turned around to face him. He looked as stunned as I’d felt when he’d told me about the cheating.
“So you were able to find all this information about me?” I’d left out the part about Raine finding the information. I didn’t want to throw her under the bus. It had been my choice to read the all of it, which made me just as bad.
“Yeah. It’s pretty easy to find if you know where to look,” I said.
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” I said again. I stood and waited for the verdict, while also trying to wrap my head around the fact that he’d cheated on his wife when a little voice called from upstairs.
“Daddy?”
Declan stood up automatically.
“Let me go . . . deal with that. I’ll be right back.” He walked off in a daze and I sat down on the couch.
Well, shit.
What now?
I heard Declan talking to Drake for a few minutes, and then he came back.
He sat down next to me.
“Firstly, I’m not thrilled that you were going to use me and also did some digging about my past. And I’m not pleased that you lied to me. That hurts me more than anything. But I just told you I cheated on my
wife and lied to you about it. So. I guess both of us are liars and sinners.” It took me minute to absorb that.
“Yeah, I can’t say I’m thrilled about the cheating. You asshole.” I smacked his shoulder.
“I didn’t plan for it to happen. It just did. If it’s any consolation, the sex was rubbish.” A laugh escaped my mouth.
“This is not funny. Not funny at all. But the word ‘rubbish’ is funny. I can’t help it if it makes me laugh,” I said.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t be joking about something like that. It wasn’t a good time in my life. Not that that’s an excuse. It was my fault and hers. One big disaster.”
He told me more about how it had been when Drake had been going through a rough patch, not sleeping, having tantrums and more often than not, Declan had dealt with it alone. His ex-wife would go out a lot and he was just lonely.
“It doesn’t excuse anything, but I don’t know if I’ve ever been in such a low place. Except maybe when I first found out she was pregnant with Drake. I can’t imagine living without him, but finding out was a shock. And then telling my parents. That was terrible.”
I couldn’t imagine. I also couldn’t imagine getting married when I was so young. Hell, he’d just barely graduated high school. At that point in my life my biggest decisions were what tattoos I was going to get next. I’d met Raine around that time. Funny to think about it now.
“Well, telling you this hasn’t been a picnic. But I’m really glad you don’t hate me. Do you?”
He shook his head.
“Not if you don’t hate me for being a cheating bastard.”
“Nope. This stalking liar doesn’t.”
He leaned closer to me and I leaned and our lips met in the middle. Weird, kissing after what we’d talking about, but it felt right. His lips caressed mine, as if he was apologizing. I kissed him back, also saying I was sorry.
“I need you,” he said, breaking the kiss. “I need you so much right now.”
“I need you too,” I said, stroking his face. He stood up and held his hand out.
“Let me give you a tour of my bedroom.”
“Will there be an emphasis on the bed?” I asked as we walked up the stairs.
“Yes. You’ll get intimately acquainted with the bed.”
I had a little hesitation about having sex in a house with a child sleeping in it right down the hall, and with a man right after he’d told me that he’d cheated on his wife, but when was timing ever good?
Declan led me to his room, which was an entire master suite. I wanted to ask him if he’d decorated the room himself, or if he’d hired someone. It was beautiful, done in white with accents of dark gray and hints here and there of light blue. Beautiful and clean and simple.
But I didn’t have a chance to really check out the décor, because he led me right to the bed.
“Are you sure you’re not angry with me?” he said fisting my shirt in his hands. The fabric wasn't that thick. He could probably rip it if he wanted.
“We don’t have to talk about it right now,” I said, reaching up and under his shirt and stroking his stomach.
“Sure?” he said, leaning closer.
“Shut up and kiss me.” If he didn’t, I had other ways to make him stop talking. Most of them involved my mouth and a certain part of his body. I’d never met a man yet who could carry on a conversation while receiving that particular treatment.
He pressed his lips together and then leaned forward, tasting my lips with his. There we go. That’s what I’m talking about.
We took our time tonight, under an unspoken agreement to go slow. Most of the time when we were together, we went fast, too eager to get to the main event.
But this time, Declan lay me back on the bed and we kissed, hands creeping under clothing, but not removing it. His tongue licked my bottom lip and I let him into my mouth and we tasted one another, giving and taking. He rolled until I was on top of him and then we rolled again and it was his turn to be on top. He moved his hips against mine, but we still had a long way to go and I was going to enjoy every moment of this journey.
He broke the kiss and looked at me, his lips red from my lipstick. I could see the words he wanted to say in his eyes, feel them in the way he kissed me, the way he touched me. But he didn’t say them.
“I love kissing you,” he said instead. “I love the taste of your mouth and your lipstick and the way you make these little sounds.” What sounds? I had no idea I made any sounds. That was news.
“I love the way you hold me, and you let me take charge, and then you take charge,” I said. “I love when we start your hair is slicked back and by the end, it’s mussed and in your eyes.”
The words buzzed between us, but neither of us said anything else. Instead, we made out some more, gradually shedding our clothes until he went down on me, taking his time to lead me to climax. He’d get me close, and then back off, close and then back off so the eventual orgasm was so intense I could barely stand it. I got him back by taking him in my mouth, and driving him until he jerked his hips away and had to roll on a condom. He entered me slow, and we started in missionary. Sweet and simple. As his thrusts intensified, we shifted and I rolled onto my stomach so he entered me from behind.
I loved how deep he could get that way, and sometimes he pulled at my hair a little in the heat of the moment.
Our next climaxes were nearly simultaneous. Almost perfect. Afterward he lay on my back and kissed my shoulder.
“I love the noises you make when you come,” he said.
“I love the way your nails dig into me and leave marks,” I said. He pulled out and moved to the side so I could roll over.
“So,” I said, messing with his hair. “Any more secrets I should know?”
He shook his head.
“No. I think you know more about me than I do at this point.” Could we joke about that yet? It felt too soon, but maybe it was okay now?
“I told you everything I know. It was mostly just things like financial stats and the divorce and so forth. Real estate. College.”
He took my hand and kissed my palm. “I’m assuming you also know my grades.”
“Yeah. I might have looked that up. You’re a smarty pants.” And handsome. And kind. And generous. Sure, he wasn’t perfect, but he was damn near close.
“I’m guessing you were no slouch with grades either.”
“I’ll show you my transcript if you want to see it. Turnabout is fair play, right?” He pulled on a lock of my hair.
“I don’t want to know. I still want you to surprise me. I always want you to surprise me.” He grinned and I smiled back.
“That’s what I want. And there are plenty of things about you I don’t know. All those other things are just numbers and facts. They don’t tell me anything about you. They didn’t tell me what you eat for breakfast in the morning, or what your favorite color is, or what games you like to play with your son. And those are the important things,” I said.
“Yes. They are.”
“I love being naked with you. I’ve never been with a woman who was so comfortable in her body. I love that,” he said. We’d stayed in bed talking, and it was even better than being in the hotel. Plus, Declan had gone downstairs and brought up more of the frozen ice cream bars and we were currently munching on them.
“I know there are people who would call me fat, because I have been called fat. But I can’t seem to find any fucks to give,” I said. “My mom used to try and put me on diets. There was even talk of fat camp. Thankfully Dad put the kibosh on that. I probably would have escaped anyway.” I licked the popsicle stick off and put it in the empty box.
“I mean, this is the body I was given and if I’m not happy with how it is, then I’ll never be happy. So I figured I’d just be happy.” He had a bit of ice cream in the corner of his mouth, so I wiped it off with my finger and then stuck it in my mouth.
“You’re wise beyond your years. Many people spend their lifetimes hating th
emselves.”
“An entire billion-dollar industry is built on people hating themselves. It’s pretty sick if you think about it,” I said. It hadn’t been easy to get to the place I was at with loving myself, but I was here and I wasn’t going back.
“So you’re really coming with me to the funeral? Even after I turned out to be a stalker?” I said, and he tossed the empty box in the trash.
“Yes, of course. I’m going to be there for you no matter what. I told you, nothing you say could make me hate you.” I pulled him into a naked hug, which turned into more than a hug real quick.
I couldn’t keep my hands off him.
I hesitated about staying the night with Declan. I’d brought stuff, just in case, but I didn’t know if I was ready to wake up here. To have breakfast with him and Drake. Oh, God. I’d probably have to see Ada. That would be a barrel of fun.
“Stay. Please?” Declan said, and that pretty much decided things for me.
“Well, if you’re going to force me, I guess I will,” I said. “As long as you give me one of your t-shirts to sleep in.” I wasn’t one of those girls who could put on his button up shirt and be all cute and shit. His shirt would definitely not fit me, my hips or my chest. Hell to the no.
He got up and found a t-shirt and tossed it at me.
“Try that.” I put it on and it was a little tight in the bosom area, but otherwise, it worked.
“Stop staring at my chest,” I said, pulling the shirt down to cover my hips.
“It’s hard not to,” he said, gesturing. Well, he did have a point. My girls were difficult to ignore. “And speaking of hard.” He pulled me close. “Seeing you wearing my shirt is definitely making me.” Yes, indeed it was.
This time I rode him while wearing his shirt and it definitely worked for both of us.
“Do normal couples have this much sex?” I asked when we were done again. “I mean, not that we’re a couple. You know what I’m asking.”
Kids in college had bragged about their conquests, but a lot of that was made up for the sake of bragging. Raine had definitely had a lot of time with her ex, but I didn’t know if it was this much. And the more sex I had with Declan, the more I wanted.
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