by J. R. Ripley
Phil leaned his elbows on the table and beckoned me closer. “Lani didn’t get back until after midnight. He sounded strange.”
“Strange how?”
Phil gave my question some thought before answering. “Upset somehow. Me and Teddy—”
“Teddy is the one with the goatee?”
Phil nodded. “We asked him how things went. He told us to shut up and go to sleep.”
I nibbled a pretzel stick. “Did you know that Yvonne was here in Ruby Lake?”
“Of course. Lani knew too.”
“Had he seen her?”
“No. He said he called her. Who knows? He might have been lying. They were going to hook up.”
“Why would Lani lie?”
“Because he can.”
That was an interesting answer. “Did they get along well?”
Phil shook his head. “When they were kids. Not so much now. Yvonne didn’t like Lani’s habits much.”
“Such as?”
“Running around playing his music, chasing women. Spending money he didn’t have.”
Phil grinned.
“What?” I demanded.
“Well, he’s got money now, doesn’t he? Now that Yvonne’s dead.”
“You’re saying Lani inherits Yvonne’s estate?”
“He must. They were all the family each other had.”
The waitress sidled up to the table and asked if we wanted another round. Phil said yes. I said no. The waitress left to go figure things out for herself.
“Does Lani own a handgun?”
“Does a revolver count?”
13
It was date night at Derek’s apartment above his downtown law office. That meant dinner and a Broadway musical on the TV across from the sofa. It also meant refilling the bird feeder I had installed outside his window. I had given him the feeder as a gift. According to Derek’s twisted thinking, that meant it was my job to refill it on a regular basis.
Derek’s job was to watch me do it.
He was good at his job.
To his credit, Derek had provided dinner. He was a whiz in the kitchen when he wanted to be.
“He called me that murder lady.” Sitting cross-legged on the sofa, I watched my foot bounce there at the end of my leg, and I couldn’t stop it. I was mad.
Derek smiled. “It’s a step up from that bird lady, isn’t it?”
I pinched my brow. “Is that what people call me?” My foot stilled.
“Sometimes,” Derek said with a wicked grin. “The nice ones.”
“Very funny.” I tossed my dinner roll at him. He dodged. I’d just buttered it too. I picked it up off the rug and tossed it in the trash can. What a waste. “Can I get you anything while I’m up?”
“Another beer will do.” Derek held up his empty. “Why does this guy Phil think Lani killed his sister?”
“Money.” I settled back on the sofa and snuggled up against Derek’s shoulder.
“Money is always a motive. Was Yvonne that well off? I didn’t get that impression.”
“I have no idea. She had the cabin and property. I don’t know if she had any other assets.”
“Doesn’t sound like much, but sometimes a little money is all it takes when you have none yourself. I’ll see if I can find anything out.”
“Would you?”
Derek shrugged. “I figure I might as well volunteer because you were going to ask me to anyway.”
I slugged him in the upper arm. He pretended not to notice.
“Dad told me that the official consensus is that Spenner is heading south.”
“Far south, I hope. Like South America.”
“Two people claimed to have seen him in Charlotte. There was another purported sighting in Atlanta the next day. Dad says the police think he’s heading to Florida.”
“Maybe he’s thinking of retiring.” I glanced out the window. It was cold and dark out there. “Florida sounds good.”
“Spenner has a stepsister near Orlando. That may be where he’s destined.”
“That would be stupid.”
“Beating people up with a baseball bat isn’t exactly Einsteinian.” Derek kissed me suddenly, and I felt my toes—and several other unmentionable places—tingle. “I’m just glad that he’s far away. Otherwise, you might just be tempted to play bounty hunter.”
“Oh, no. Not me,” I insisted. Dinner finished, I rose and moved our bamboo trays to the kitchen peninsula counter. “My days of getting involved in murder are over.” I rinsed the plates and placed them in the dishwasher. “It all started by accident anyway. I never meant to get involved in anything other than running Birds and Bees.”
Derek headed toward me. “What’s up? You sound defensive.”
“Nothing.” I tipped the dirty napkins into the trash.
“Really?” Derek pointed out the discarded napkins. “Those are cloth.”
“Oh.” I fished the napkins out of the trash can and gave them a shake to get the coffee grounds off them. “Sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.” Derek arms went over my shoulders, and his fingers massaged the sore spots I didn’t know that I had until then.
“What’s going on? Is Yvonne’s murder worrying you, or is it Spenner?” He planted a delicate kiss on my neck, just under the ear. “Or are you missing your mom?”
“Do you think I’m a bad influence on Maeve?” I blurted out, surprising even myself. I cringed, instantly wishing I could vacuum the question back up and bury it somewhere deep, deep inside me.
Derek drew back, bumping into a bar stool. He caught it in his hands as it wobbled precariously. I was wobbling pretty precariously myself.
Fortunately, Derek noticed this too and took my hands in his. “What are you talking about, Amy? A bad influence how?”
I pulled free and grabbed my unfinished beer from the coffee table. “Nothing.” I took a big swig and gulped it down quickly. “Can’t we just forget that I said anything?”
“A bombshell like that?” Derek crossed the room in two strides and motioned for me to sit.
He turned off the TV.
We’d both been ignoring the movie anyway. What a shame. Bernadette Peters’s portrayal of Lily St. Regis in Annie was a favorite performance of mine, with Kristin Chenowith’s depiction of Rooster’s airhead girlfriend a very close second.
“What’s this all about, Amy?” Derek gave my hand a squeeze. “How could you possibly be a bad influence on my daughter?”
When I didn’t answer, he continued. “I’ve seen how much ice cream she scarfs down when we go to the ice cream parlor together. You always try to match her scoop for scoop.” He grinned. “If anything, she’s a bad influence on you.”
I sniffled and wiped my nose. I didn’t even realize I had been crying. “Sorry,” I mumbled.
“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about.” He took my chin in his fingers. “Except that you still have not explained what you are talking about.”
“I wouldn’t want you to think that I would do anything that would harm her.”
“Of course not,” Derek blurted. “That’s not even worth discussing.”
“I mean, I think the world of her and only want the very best for her.”
“That’s good,” Derek said, eyes twinkling. “So do I.”
I pouted. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“No, sorry. I guess I’m not. But you have to admit, this whole conversation is ridiculous.”
“Ridiculous?” I pulled free of his hug. “Now you are calling me ridiculous? Just because I’m worried about Maeve?” My lips were moving quickly—my brain maybe not so much. “Just because I don’t want Maeve to grow up like me?”
“What would be wrong with that? I sort of like you.” His hand brushed softly against my che
ek.
“A-a murder magnet?”
Derek’s mouth fell open. His hand dropped to the sofa cushion. “Is that what this is all about?” Fingers, his, pushed away the tears that fell from my eyes.
I could only nod. “People think I’m the murder lady.” I looked away. I couldn’t bear to look at Derek.
He snuggled up beside me. “That’s ridiculous. What people?”
“Just people,” I said at a whisper. I knew I couldn’t dare tell him it was his ex.
“Well,” Derek said after a moment, “those people are wrong. Dead wrong.”
I shot him a look.
“Sorry,” he said. “No pun intended. Look, you’re smart, you’re beautiful. You are a successful businesswoman—”
I cringed a little at that. Derek was not as intimately familiar with my checkbook as I was.
“Funny. Did I mention beautiful?”
“Yes,” I sniffed. “But you can mention it again.”
He did.
“So you don’t think I’m the murder lady?”
After a kiss that lasted a lifetime, his lips melting into mine, he said breathily, “You know, Amy…”
“Yes, Derek?” I whispered. Was I about to hear the L word? Was I about to say the L word myself?
“You’ll always be the bird lady to me.”
I couldn’t help smiling—just a little—despite the unexpected twist. Part of me was disappointed. Part of me wondered if it would have been too soon to mention love.
“Besides, as far as murder goes, you’ve probably solved more crimes in this town than the police. Don’t tell Dan I said that,” he added quickly. He and Dan had become good friends.
I laced my fingers with his and squeezed. “Thanks. I needed that.”
“Don’t mention it. Speaking of Dan, he stopped by the office today.”
“What’s up? Something to do with a case?”
“No, nothing like that. He said Kim went nuts on him.”
I puzzled over his words. “Define nuts.”
Derek shrugged and reached for a now-cold dinner roll. “Apparently she went to his house and created quite the scene in front of his houseguest. Some old classmate of his. What’s with you two? You coordinate these things?”
“Are you talking about Paula?”
“Yes, that sounds right. Dan said she was staying with him for the week.”
“Did he tell you she was gorgeous?”
Derek hesitated before answering. A sure tell. “He mentioned she wasn’t unattractive.”
“Going the evasive lawyer route, I see.”
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Derek reached for the remote. “Shouldn’t we be getting back to our movie?”
I let him have his way. I threw my legs across his lap and my arms over his neck.
I wasn’t about to give him a hard time.
He’d been too sweet.
14
The next morning, AM Ruby was reporting that Alan Spenner had been seen in central Florida. I breathed a sigh of relief.
“Maybe the bum wants to visit Disney World,” Esther said as she busily swept the area around the entrance of the store. “If that bum shows his face around here, I’ll show him how to use a baseball bat.”
The broom moved faster than a hummingbird’s wings. This meant more dirt and dander was heading up to the ceiling than toward her dustpan, but I was not going to say anything.
A busy Esther was a pester-free Esther.
“Maybe.” I turned off the radio. “Nearly noon and not a single customer.”
“Some days are like that,” Esther said, sounding none too concerned. I didn’t know why. She now had nearly as much money tied up in the store as I had.
Esther looked up and toward the street. “Don’t look now, but here comes a customer.”
“Really?” I perked up and practiced my best smile.
The door jingled brightly as it was opened.
“Oh, it’s only you,” I said.
Dan Sutton smiled. “I can’t say that’s the warmest welcome I’ve ever received, but I’ll take it.”
“Sorry, Dan.” I moved from around the counter to give him a hug.
“What is it? The uniform?” He tugged at the brown material of his police uniform.
“No, sorry. I didn’t mean anything. Esther and I were just talking about our lack of customers this morning.” I looked at Dan with renewed interest. “I don’t suppose you’d be interested in a bag of birdseed?”
Dan grinned and threw out his arms. “Sorry. No bird feeder, remember?”
“I remember.” I turned to my not-so-secret weapon. “Esther.”
Esther cackled and suddenly appeared at Dan’s side with a slick, antibacterial, eight-rung feeder with a clear plexi tube and dark green trim. “On sale. Today only,” she said. “Forty-nine ninety-nine.”
When Dan hesitated, she thrust it at him, and he was forced to take it.
“Police officer’s discount,” Esther said. “How’s about I ring you up?” She gripped him by the upper arm and pulled. With both hands clutching the bird feeder, Dan was helpless to fight back—despite his police training.
Face it, even if he’d had both hands free, he’d have found it futile to fend off Esther when she was in attack mode. “Amy, he’s going to need birdseed. Twenty pounds ought to do.” Esther had reappeared behind the sales counter and slapped the cash register to life.
“Twenty pounds—” Dan spun around.
“You’re right,” Esther said. “Amy, make that the forty-pounder!” Esther was determined to get a return on her investment.
“Forty pounds, right!” I found myself reacting like a soldier in battle. I gripped a forty-pound bag of sunflower seeds and dragged it to Dan’s feet as he stood by the counter.
“Trust me,” she told Dan. “It’s cheaper when you buy more.”
Dan’s thick leather wallet was on the counter. I wasn’t sure if he had pulled it out himself or if Esther had slipped it out of his pocket when he wasn’t looking. As confused as Dan appeared, I didn’t think he knew either.
Dan cast a dubious look at the feeder in his hands. “Where am I going to hang this thing?”
Esther moved with the alacrity of a nimble crab skirting the shoreline as she swept along the length of the counter. A moment later, she was yelling from aisle four. “We sell three kinds of mounting hooks. One looks like an actual tree once you get all these thingamabobs together.”
I heard the sounds of clashing metal.
“This one here,” she continued, all voice and no physical presence, “you assemble all the pieces and—” More crashing metal.
Esther emerged at the end of the aisle, hair disheveled, a mishmash of black rods extending from under her arms and one long, skinny piece oddly protruding out of the neck hole of her sweater.
I pictured fresh dents in the hardwood floors.
“Well, I, uh…” Dan pressed his back against the counter.
I decided it was time I came to Dan’s rescue. “You could just screw or nail it into a tree or hang it from a tree branch, Dan. If you aren’t worried about squirrels getting into it.”
“Thanks, Amy.” Dan gulped. “I’ve got nails. And I like squirrels.”
Esther gave me a dirty look that I’d be seeing the rest of the day.
Rather than listen to her rant, I walked Dan out to his squad car. “Derek tells me you and Kim are having a little trouble?”
Gripping the feeder in one hand, I held the passenger-side door open.
“Not that one. Better put this in the back.”
I shut one door and opened the other. Dan dropped the bag of seed onto the rear floor.
“Yeah. Funny thing is, I don’t know why.” Despite the coolness of the air, a line of sweat had forme
d on Dan’s brow. “She came over to meet Paula, and before either of us knew what was happening, she stormed right out. Weird, huh?”
“Yeah,” I sort of agreed. “Weird.” Kim definitely had a weird piece to her puzzle. “Didn’t she bring you cupcakes?”
“Yeah, she brought them.” He folded his arms across his chest. “She came to the house the next morning unexpectedly. Not that I wasn’t happy to see her.”
Dan repositioned the bag on the floor and nestled the feeder against it.
“And?” There was definitely an and.
“And then she proceeded to throw them at both me and Paula.”
I winced, picturing the scene. It wasn’t pretty. Colorful, yes. Pretty, no. “I am so sorry.”
He shrugged. “It’s not your fault.”
“Actually,” I hated to admit but did, “it was. I was the one who suggested cupcakes. I thought they might help clear the air.”
“Well,” chuckled Dan—really, he was simply too sweet—“I don’t know about clearing the air, but they sure went flying through it.”
I groaned. “Did any hit their targets?”
“Oh, yeah. Paula and me. I guess we should all be grateful you did not suggest something harder, like cantaloupe.”
“Sorry, Dan. Kim’s just going through some stuff,” I said in my best friend’s defense.
“Oh? What sort of stuff?”
“Huh?” I hadn’t been expecting the question. I’d made the comment only as a vague social cover-up. I should have kept my big mouth shut.
I thought a moment, letting my gaze drift up and down the street. A beautiful young woman came strolling out of Ruby’s Diner with a to-go bag in her arms. Long dark hair danced on the breeze. She wore skintight denim jeans, a matching denim jacket rolled up to the elbows, and thigh-high black leather boots that lifted her derriere.
“I think Kim just wants to know where things stand with you two.”
“How do you mean?” Dan waved to somebody across the street. “I’m crazy about her.”
“Does she know that?”
“I thought she did.” Dan frowned. “You think she doesn’t?”
