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and less distinct, more ephemeral. Keep breathing in. Breathe in until there are no tram of
your double in front of you, you are fully back inside of yourself. You may feel tingling with
energy, you may feel good or perhaps a bit overwhelmed. You can breathe this energy up, and
align your Triple Soul. Stand tall,Jull of life force, connected, innocent. If you still have excess energy, offer some as a gift to earth Mother, touching ground with the palms of your hands, giving back somr of what you have been given.
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FoRGIVENEss AS A PATH TO PowER
The Black Heart is a state of perfection. I used to feel that perfection was
an end point, rather than a process of growth. From my childhood, I carried vestiges of fear and guilt, feeling that if I were "perfect" I would not get into trouble, that I would be loved and told that I was good. This is not
perfection, but a state of being frozen in time, unable to respond to life as
it appears. I may be perfect in a moment. But all power is dynamic-shifting
and changing-if it freezes in place or time, it becomes brittle and will
eventually crumble. Also, time shifts, so what is perfect in this second may
not even apply to the conditions of the next.
Like power, perfection is mutable, not static and fixed. I am mutable
and so are others. We can change. We can trade off succeeding and failing,
being weak and being strong. Over time, I believe we can become more
graceful in our changes and can listen more deeply. We can learn to forgive.
We can learn that perfection is wholeness, including all things that are
possible within us, not just eradicating what we see as flaws. Perfection is
a state of shifting balance.
From this state comes a basis for strong ethics. This is not prescribed
or legislated morality, but an ethical stance that examines each situation
and then acts or judges accordingly. Can we forgive ourselves and one another and walk forward together? Can we invite our hearts into a perfect circle?
What can you forgive yourself for? What old mistake do you carry around inside yourself like a festering wound? Look at it, shining a light on it. Often, out o/ our own selfimportance, we inflate our transgressions, and the longer we carry them, the bigger and heavier they become. Begin to let them go. Breathe in and say, "I forgive you." Others o/ us
may do the opposite, we may downplay our mistakes by not taking responsibility for them,
by blaming others and justifying our actions. This, too, wounds us, cripples us, in fact, keep-
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ing us from walking strong as adults in the world. m are forever children, crawling along,
until we say, "I did that, and I am sorry." Then we can stand.
This week, ask forgiveness if one person you may have hurt. Write a letter or make a
phone call, whether it is something you did or said yesterday or fifteen years ago. Ask forgiveness. Say you are sorry. Take responsibility. Then notice the energy that is freed up by that act. Breathe it in. Expand.
THE RITE O F UNBINDING
I place this practice here, in the space of Center because it is a core practice in my own life, secondary only to the Prayer for Alignment.6 It acknowledges that life force is central to living my life in all its ordinary mystery. If I can unbind the life force tied up by years of training, by insecurity, anger, or sorrow, then I can expand my capacity to embrace paradox and to live with an open heart. I do it at least once a week, or daily if I need it.
This is a rite to loose what is bound, to heal what is hurting, to clean
what is encrusted, and to forgive that which causes pain. We can carry huge
quantities of tangled complexes, most of which remain invisible because
of the dense knots we've tied year after year. This rite helps us let go, unbind, to forgive and be forgiven, otherwise our life force will never be our own. Unbinding frees up our access to the Black Heart of Innocence.
The act of unbinding has been very helpful to me. I used to shrug off
slights and hurts at the times in which they happened, saying they were
"petty" or "no big deal:' But then I would carry that bound up energy for
years, always battling both the resentment and the thought that the resent-
6Most Feri priests usc the Hawaiian term kala for this rite, as the Hawaiians have a similar practice
that inspired this one. To "make kala" is to make clean. Similar rit�s arc also found in West Africa.
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ment was beneath me. The Rite of Unbinding, like many of the practices
in this book, helps us move through emotions, feeling them and facing
them with less anxiety. I can look at a situation, feel what arises, deal with
it, and let it go. Later, if I find I'm still having a residual reaction-as emotions are both quick and tenacious-! can do this rite and further loosen the obstructions, so as to see, feel, and hear more clearly.
Victor used to ask those who came to him for help with this rite, "Do
you really want to be free of this? Do you want to be healed?" This is a key
question, for I must also take action in the world to change the situation
that caused the binding in the first place. This is true of all magic. But
sometimes, just doing the external work does not always help me emotionally or energetically. I find it best to make external changes and do internal work simultaneously. This rite has been a tool for my ongoing liberation.
For this rite you will need a glass filled with as much water as you can
drink without taking a breath.
Take a deep breath and let yourself begin to relax. Do the Prayer for Alignment (Chapter 3), breathing until you are full of life force, then tilt your head and breathe up to align your Triple Soul. Feel the energy rush back down into your body, settling you. Once you feel
aligned,Jorm your two hands together in a heart shape in front of you. Now begin to focus
on what in you needs unbinding. What needs to be healed or forgiven? Begin to breathe it
out into the space between your hands, imagining that it forms a small egg in the center of
your hands. Do this in Jour, long, even breaths, filling that egg in your heart with the bound
up energy.
Once the egg is clear in your mind, release it with the syllable "Ahhhh," cracking the egg
over your glass, releasing the energy into the water. Now pick up the glass. Holding it up,
begin to intone the syllable "Ma," invoking the Star Goddess, the Mother of All. Imagine that
the water turns into a swirling light of healing as you tone. Intone the syllable until all the
breath is expelled from your lungs. Then inhale deeply, and drink the water down without
s,topping. Let the healingfill you, loosening all that is tight within you. Hold your belly and
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your heart, saying whatever it is you need to hear to settle the healing into your body. You
are loved. You are on your way to freedom. 7
I also use my Devotional Dance movement for Sacred Dove (Chapter
3) to raise the energy for my Triple Soul alignment. When doing so, I
make the movement quickly and forcefully four times, and on the fourth,
I exhale upward as my hands descend in the prayer position. If the problem is particularly knotty, I will sometimes ask myself, "Do I want to be healed of this?" before intoning "Ma" to shift the bound up energy into
healing. If my answer is, "Not really. Not right now;' then I pour the water out. I will then pour a fresh cup of water and drink it without a rite, sim
ply to begin the work of replenishing my being. Sometimes I need to
do the first part of the Rite of Unbinding to get clear enough about the
situation I'm in to even be able to realize whether or not I want healing or
forgiveness! This happens quite rarely, but regardless, even that action is always a step toward liberation.
I sometimes need to do the Rite of Unbinding when I am not in a
place where I can break an :rtheric egg over a glass of water. One afternoon
while waiting for a ride to dance rehearsal, I was sitting in the parking lot
outside the underground station, really feeling the need to be cleansed and
forgiven for something that was weighing upon me. I began to gently rock
and to softly say, "May I be healed. May I be forgiven:' I did this over and
over, until I felt a peace descend. I aligned my Triple Soul with the energy
I raised. When the energy settled, I looked down at the sidewalk in front
of me. Resting on the concrete was a small gold heart, a charm. I thanked
the Gods for receiving my prayer. Magic works.
7This is my own variation on this Feri practice, which can be far simpler or much more complexly
done. Using eggs as a vehicle for cleansing and energy healing appears in many cultures: Mexican,
Middle Eastern, Eastern European.
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The violet pentucle
Some Feri practitioners use a Violet Pentacle to represent a!ther, or spirit,
which includes Above, Below, and Center. In the chakra system, violet is
the highest color on the spectrum, before all things dissolve again into
white. This also holds true for ultraviolet rays, which our eyes cannot see,
but perceive as white instead. A honeybee, for example, might perceive a
white flower as being different colors depending on how much ultraviolet
light the flower is reflecting.
Metaphysically, violet represents our connection to the multiverse and
the unseen. It is our gateway to expansion beyond the purely physical.
While most Witches place the Pentacle in the North, because of its representation of the human body as part of earth, some Feri's place it in the place of spirit and a!ther because a!ther is formed by all of the elements in
combination.
Violet is dose to lavender, and lavender often represents queer energy,
that combination of the "blue is for boys" and the "pink is for girls:' Q:4-eer
means many things, which is why it is a term I like to use. It is all encompassing, claiming gay, lesbian, transgendered, bisexual, polysexual, asexual, twin-spirited, multi-gendered, dominants, submissives, or people who like
to have sex under a maypole. Victor used to call me a Thorn-woman and
himself a Thorn-man, meaning we were twin-spirited or dual-gendered
and had specific responsibilities to the community. As fey-natured humans
are often not wholly one gender or another, the lavender color honors and
celebrates that, while the violet honors our ability to commune with the
cosmos.8
8Visit www.faerywolf.com/essay_amethpent.htm for an excellent article by Storm Faerywolf and
Chas Bogan on the Amethyst Pentacle-a queer take on spirit.
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Cast the sacred Feri sphere. Imagine a violet pentacle spinning above you and below you.
See these pentacles open up the central, violet column in the center of the sacred sphere. This
is the hub of sex, love, spirit, and tether. Feel your spine stretch,Jeel your feet sink. Let yourself grow tall, deep, and vast, filled with violet light.
Now return to your regular physical state. See the pentacles recede, growing misty and
less substantial. Dismiss the sphere, thanking any beings you called in to help you with
this work.
HoNESTY
Truth telling is an important part of all spiritual work. In Chapter 8, we
looked at our lies. Now it is time to look at our deepest truths. I place this
work in Center because our truths come from connection to spirit, to Nature, and to our own divinity. We do not learn in a vacuum, but in community, whether that is a community of humans or communion with the natural world. Where are your teachers? Listen to their honesty and reply
with some of your own.
I was once walking along the Potomac River with a close friend. She
quite pointedly questioned the way my life's work was heading and the
choices I was making about my teaching. Because she was questioning
something so important to me, something that I thought she understood, I
became defensive. Fortunately, I was able to say, ''I'm sorry I'm a little defensive . :· and then went on to take a breath and explain my position.
.
Her questions gave me valuable food for thought. After we parted at
the airport, with me winging my way home again, I was able to search myself for the reasons that were beneath the ones I had given her. I quickly found that the reasons I had for my life's work were connected to my
core truths. This realization only made me stronger and clearer in my position. In the future, I'll have better answers to give people who may not
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have my best support in mind, the way this friend does. She spoke to me
out of love and interest, and something deep inside of me was able to respond. Sometimes it takes a challenge to our beliefs to uncover deeper, core truths.
Deep listening is required for truth telling. Some of us are graceful at
accepting criticism, while other people may reach the end of their lives unable to listen to others at all. When are you able to listen deeply, and when are you not able to? What is the difference?
Has someone challenged you or posed a difficult question to you lately? What emotions
did that bring up in you? What questions of your own come up in response? Take a deep
breath and drop your attention to your heart and then your belly. Let yourself relax. Begin
to do a timed writing, not letting the pen stop until six minutes is up. Begin with the question or challenge at hand. Then let the words begin, until you loosen up, and the censor steps aside, letting your deeper truths flow to the suiface. "I believe in this because . . . " "I acted in this way because . . ."
UsiNG You R TooLs TO SuPPORT TRUTH
In both the Elemental Pentacle and the sacred sphere, the space of Center
is the home of spirit. All of the Elements of Life are present here. Stand
firmly on earth, tempered by fire and water, as you breathe in air. Imagine
it now. What gives you stability? What tempers you and makes you true?
Feel all of that and breathe in life force, further strengthening your soul
and your truth.
Just as Spirit gives us access to all of the elements, we also have access
to all of our tools. Imagine that your tools can help to bolster your ability
to perceive your truth and put it out into the world. Call upon the power
of the Violet Pentacle-the power of your own spirit-and let the tools
speak to you.
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The Wand: What grows when you tell your truth? Does your truth bring newness, and a
fresh way of thinking or speaking? 1j that which grows from what you say or believe is
something that doesn't feel helpful to you or others, you may wish to reexamine it and see if
there is a deeper truth at hand.
The Blade: What happens when you back up your truth with will and intention? Fill with
your tru
th, and then breathe it across your blade. How do you feel marrying your truth with
fiery will? What are the consequences of using your will to back up your truth? Imagine those
consequences. Use this itiformation to look at your truth and gauge its power and veracity.
The Chalice: Fill your cup with truth and drink it. Does it rifresh and renew you or leave
you feeling slightly ill? 1j the latter happens, look again. Perhaps there are vestiges of poison
in what you are calling truth. Dive down another level and open up to compassion. Now
what does the truth feel like?
The Green Cube: Stand on your truth. Will it support you? Does standing in your truth
make you feel strong? Is there movement in it, as with the pentacle inscribed upon it, or does
your truth risk becoming brittle?
The Black Mirror: What does your truth rtjlect? What is its shadow? How does your image of yourself or the world change by looking at your truth in the mirror of space?
The Cauldron: What fire does your truth light? Does it cook something nourishing or toxic?
How does your truth feed yourself and others?
REVITALIZING BREATH
After working with the above exercise, you may feel a need to do thr Ritt'
of Unbinding and realign your Triple Soul. Both of these will aid your
continued exploration into truth. You can also ust· tlw lm·ath work we lw-
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gan many chapters ago. Below is an expanded way to use your breath to revitalize your connections to self, body, and the Gods.
Take a deep breath. Every time you exhale, send a breath through a different part of your
metaphysical body. Start with your root chakra, down at the base of your spine. Now send
a breath through your sex. Send a breath through your belly, cleansing and activating your
will. Next, breathe out through your heart. Exhale through your throat. Now, send a breath
out through your third eye, the psychic center in your forehead. Last, breathe out through the
top of your head, your crown, which connects you to the Gods. Repeat this process until these
places feel clean.
