‘Well, that’s great! Well done!’
‘No! You don’t get it! I should have … Told her properly. In a grander way, maybe. I want to do something big for her,’ Daniel concluded.
‘Okay …’ said Romeo.
‘I have to do something. I have to do something, now. Today. Strike whilst the iron is hot.’
Daniel was a little bit manic, with his eyes wild and full of half-formed plans. He looked at his watch. He needed to prep the last of some slides before a breakfast meeting to highlight the progress he’d made these past few months, ensuring the partners that he was leaving them with the formula for success.
‘I mean, okay. If you’re sure you’re not being a little dramatic here. You have her number. So, just text her back and ask her out.’
‘No,’ Daniel said, with certainty. ‘No, I want it to be bigger than that. This is going to be the last woman I ever ask out. This is going to be her last ever first date! It has to be memorable. I want her to understand that this is it.’ He reflected on what he’d just said and added, a little more measuredly, ‘You know, not to freak her out or anything. I mean, I just want to do her justice.’
Romeo understood. ‘Okay, okay. What can I do to help you? I’m here, man.’
Daniel looked around the lobby, like the answer might present itself there. ‘Wait here,’ he told Romeo.
‘It’s my job to wait here!’ Romeo said. ‘Literally, I am paid to wait here. In this lobby. All day.’
Daniel ran across the road to the florists at the train station, and paid eighty-five pounds for a bouquet of sunflowers and gerberas and green feathery stuff. He jogged back across the road and handed them to Romeo.
‘Okay, can you go deliver these to Nadia Fielding at RAINFOREST, around the corner? Will you do that for me? I’ve got this meeting …’
‘If I can get Billy to cover for me for a minute, then yes.’
‘No. Not maybe, mate. You’ll deliver them, right?’
‘Of course, mate. Yes.’
‘Okay, excellent. Make sure they let you take them up to her. Don’t just leave them at reception. She needs to get them now. In fact – fuck. Erm,’ he said, looking towards the desk to see if there was something he could use to write on the blank notecard the florist had attached to the bouquet. His energy was nervous and untamed. He grabbed the biro and pulled off the lid with his teeth. When he was done scribbling he put the notecard into the envelope.
‘There,’ he said. ‘For Nadia Fielding, yes?’
‘I gotchu, mate,’ said Romeo, taking the flowers. ‘I will deliver these personally.’
48
Nadia
‘Right then. Both of you, at the burrito place, at half past noon. No excuses. I need to talk to you.’
Nadia hit send on her voice note, sent to a new group she had made for her, Emma and Gaby. She got immediate responses from both of them.
Emma: Okay x
Gaby: Okay!!!!!!
Nadia carried the bouquet of flowers downstairs with her as she left for her early lunch. She didn’t want to leave them behind. She wanted them with her, evidence of the romance unfolding in front of her. They’d been delivered by the strangest man, who’d handed them over and said, ‘Oh, I see. I understand what the fuss is about now.’ And then he had disappeared. There was a card with the flowers.
Tonight? it read. I’ll send a clue about where later …
She was excited. She was over the moon. She wanted to show off – and to her best friends. She didn’t care what had happened, or what was happening with them. She missed her friends and needed them to share in this joy she was experiencing in real time.
‘Ohmygod – who are they for?’ said Emma, standing up to hug her. She’d cut her hair and was wearing more eyeliner than usual. It suited her.
‘They’re beautiful!’ said Gaby, standing up to kiss her too. They’d chosen a booth, and had both sat at the same side so that Nadia had to slide in opposite them, looking at them both – being looked at by them both.
‘They’re mine. From Train Guy.’
Gaby narrowed her eyes. ‘He knows where you work already?’
‘I must have told him this morning when we were talking,’ Nadia said. ‘And I mean, if you Google “Nadia” and “RAINFOREST” my surname must come up. I found him on bloody Instagram, for crying out loud. I don’t think finding out about people is a hard thing to do when the internet exists.’
‘Oh my god!’ said Emma.
Nadia replied, ‘I know. It’s very cute.’ The three of them paused for a moment, nobody knowing where to take the discussion next. Nadia didn’t want to talk about Train Guy until she knew everything was okay.
‘Listen – have you two got something you want to tell me?’
They looked at each other. Their stare held for a split second too long, making it obvious that there was indeed something that needed to be said – but Nadia knew that. It was just a case of who would go ahead and say it.
‘Yes,’ said Emma. She put her hand on Gaby’s. ‘Don’t freak out, but …’ She looked at Gaby. Gaby looked at her. Both of them smiled. Nadia felt like she’d witnessed something very private pass between them.
Gaby stepped in, turning to look at Nadia again. ‘Well, you know we hit it off when you introduced us last year.’ She looked back to Emma.
Emma continued, ‘And it was really cool that like, I liked your work BFF.’ Emma looked from Nadia to Gaby, and Nadia felt it again – like she was bearing witness to a really private moment between them, just in a glance.
‘And I was so happy to be your work BFF when you obviously had great taste in real-life BFFs,’ said Gaby.
‘But, almost right away it felt like …’ continued Emma.
‘More,’ Gaby supplied, stealing a look at Emma again, who smiled at her in encouragement.
‘More,’ Emma repeated.
Nadia nodded, and they dragged their gaze away from one another back to her.
‘So you’re … dating?’ said Nadia, trying to get them to say the words.
The pair beamed.
‘We should have told you,’ said Gaby. ‘It was just all so …’
Emma completed her sentence. ‘Unknown. And at first it could have been nothing, but then …’
‘It became something,’ said Gaby. ‘And by then, it was like we had to protect it. Give it a chance to grow.’
‘We didn’t want to tell you before we knew,’ said Emma, and Nadia got the measure of them in the way they finished each other’s thoughts and words – she could tell they were two halves of each other, and marvelled that she’d not seen how perfect a union that could be before. ‘I almost did – at Soho Farmhouse. You asked me so many times what was up and –’
Gaby interjected: ‘We’d had our first fight that weekend. If she was horrible to be around, it was my fault.’ She winked at Emma, playfully.
‘You could have trusted me …’ Nadia said.
‘We trust you!’ said Emma. ‘But it happened so slowly, I don’t think we kind of knew we’d crossed a line until …’
‘… Until we had really crossed a line.’
‘We wanted to tell you.’
‘Eventually.’
‘But also like, you know. What if it was a mistake?’
‘How do you know it isn’t?’ Nadia asked. And then, ‘I’m sorry – I didn’t mean that how it sounds.’ She didn’t. It was a reflex, a hangover from romantic scepticism. She was just relieved they were telling her everything now. That it was all out in the open.
Gaby said, ‘Well. To clarify. I’m gay. I think I always was and it wasn’t until Emma that I realized it.’
‘And I’m … into everyone? Bi? Pansexual? I don’t know. Whatever. I just … really fancy Gaby. Sorry.’
The three of them laughed.
Gaby said, ‘And I never want to even think about a man naked, ever again. I’ve seen the light, and baby she is female.’
Nadia put her hand over theirs acr
oss the table. ‘I’m glad I know now,’ she said. ‘I’m glad you can stop hiding from me. I saw you, in Soho one night. I knew, guys. I’ve known for a while.’
Gaby and Emma nodded. ‘We figured that you’d figured it out,’ Emma said. ‘And once we knew that you knew, but hadn’t heard it from us, we didn’t know how to bring it up. I’m sorry.’
‘I’m sorry too,’ said Gaby. ‘I’ve missed you!’
‘Me too!’
‘Me three!’ said Nadia. She felt instantly lighter. She hated that they’d had secrets, and that she’d had secrets. She liked everything being out in the open. ‘Okay, okay – come on then. What are we going to do about this mystery man?’
‘What does he look like?’ said Emma.
‘Oh, well – I can show you a photo, actually!’ said Nadia. ‘I found his Instagram profile before he spoke to me today. I feel like it was all meant to be, in a weird way.’
Nadia unlocked her phone and typed in his handle to Instagram.
‘NO. Way!’ said Gaby, pulling the phone from her hand. ‘Do you know who this is?’
‘Train Guy!’
‘Well, Train Guy is also the cute guy I tried to set you up with at the summer party! Daniel Weissman!’
‘That’s the guy you met at work?’
‘It is!’
‘The guy you met at work is Train Guy who is also Secret Cinema Waistcoat Guy? This is … wild! All the times I’ve missed him … our paths must have been almost crossing for months. Wow.’
‘Well, kid, let me just tell you: he’s lovely. Didn’t I say I knew your perfect man? Daniel Weissman! Shit the bed!’
‘Well, I’ve got a date with him tonight. I don’t know where, yet – I think he’s going to text me specifics. Finally, we’re going to have that drink.’
‘No emergency call needed, presumably?’
Nadia shook her head. ‘No emergency call needed.’
49
Daniel
Daniel saw Lorenzo’s name flick up into his inbox as he sat in his meeting – a meeting where he was asked to stay on at Converge for another six months. Daniel was thrilled to say yes: having just got a mortgage, it was nice to think he could just enjoy his new place and afford to decorate, rather than interviewing for his next consulting gig. It really was all coming up Weissman.
He didn’t get to read the email until lunchtime, with one thing and another, and he was glad he’d waited to give it his full attention.
Hey mate,
Listen, bloody congratulations on the flat. I’m made up for you – I really am. End of an era! It’s been great living with you. Thanks for putting up with all my shit. Your next chapter is going to be amazing. I’m really happy for you.
I just want you to know that I accepted a redundancy package at work last week, and I just found out, yesterday, that my leave can start immediately. I’d been there ages, so the payout is enough money to travel for a bit and get my head straight. I know things were never the same after what happened with Becky, but I want you to know I’ve never been sorrier for anything. I’ve really had to face some truths about myself, and I’ve got a lot to answer for. I feel so lucky I didn’t hurt anyone, but the truth is I wanted to have sex with her, even though she was so drunk she didn’t know her arse from her elbow, and you knew it, and it’s been hard to forgive myself, really. If I’d have slept with her it would have been rape. That’s … It makes me really ashamed.
I’m writing you this from the flat, where I’ve come to pack a bag because I said fuck it and bought a train ticket to Portsmouth. I’m leaving first thing tomorrow morning. Apart from you, all my mates are cokeheads and reprobates and I need some space. I read about a retreat in Portsmouth for men who want to, like, get more in touch with their feelings or whatever, so I’m going to see what’s happening there. I’ve sent you enough money for two more months’ rent, and if there’s any left because you leave early, or we get our deposit back, just whizz it back over to the same account.
My life was on a bit of a downward spiral, to be honest with you, and I really do think when you threw that left punch you knocked some sense into me. I just wanted to say bye, and sorry for putting you in the position I did.
I’ll drop you a text when I’m back, if you don’t mind. For now, good luck, man. Oh, and my mum is going to come and pack up my room for me. I’ve got rid of the drugs and porn.
All the best,
Lorenzo
Daniel sat at his desk and reread what Lorenzo had written. He could understand why he wasn’t saying goodbye in person – the brief interactions they’d had for months now had been stilted. Daniel didn’t know how to treat him. He couldn’t just forget what had happened, but he didn’t know what he expected from Lorenzo to make it better.
This, I guess, Daniel thought to himself, this is a good step for him.
He wrote back: I’m proud of you, mate. Make sure you stay in touch.
Life really was moving on, for everybody.
His phone rang.
Percy told him: ‘I’ve got Gaby from RAINFOREST for you.’
Daniel smiled, knowing exactly what it must be about.
‘Put her through,’ he said.
‘YOU’RE TRAIN GUY!’ she yelled down the line.
Daniel said, ‘Yes I am.’
‘What are the chances …?’ she marvelled.
Daniel nodded. ‘You said I was perfect for her. You called it.’
He could hear Gaby smiling too. ‘Well, yes. But I also have to let you know that if you fuck her over I will hunt you down and kill you, okay?’
‘Message received,’ Daniel said, laughing.
There was a pause. ‘So, what now?’ Gaby said.
‘I sent her flowers,’ Daniel said. ‘And tonight we’re finally going to have that date.’
‘You had better show her a good time,’ Gaby said.
Daniel thought about it for a minute. ‘Gaby,’ he said. ‘Do you want to help me?’
50
Nadia
Nadia steadied herself in front of the mirror in the loo at work. This was just like last time. Well, just like last time except she hadn’t gone to all the effort of getting her hair done and wearing an outfit she’d actually ironed. Tonight’s date had taken her by surprise but, in many ways, that was infinitely better. Go to the lobby when you’re ready, his last text had said. She’d only had an afternoon to build it up in her head. Just a few hours to deal with the clammy forehead and dry mouth. She riffled through Gaby’s toiletry bag: typical Gaby, always prepared. She gave a spray of deodorant and a sweep of pressed powder on her chin. She picked out a piece of gum, topped up her lipstick, and rearranged her boobs in her bra, so that her chest looked a little perkier.
Here we go, she thought, throwing on her coat.
51
Nadia
In the lobby, just like before her first first date with Train Guy, Nadia saw Gaby.
‘I can’t stop!’ Nadia said. ‘I can’t be late!’ she trilled, thinking of how her conversation with Gaby was the thing that had held her up last time.
‘You won’t be!’ Gaby said, reaching out for her wrist.
Nadia spun around and looked down to where her friend held her.
‘Listen to me,’ Gaby said. ‘Daniel wanted me to tell you something. I’m here as your first clue on where to go.’
Nadia balked. ‘You spoke to him?’
‘I did. He said to tell you to stop in front of anyone wearing a yellow rose.’ Nadia suddenly realized Gaby was wearing a yellow rose, clipped to the top of her dress. ‘There are things he wants to say, before you get to where you’re going. The first one is that you are clever and kind and smart and he promises this: that this time he won’t waste your time. He’ll be there.’
Nadia didn’t know what to say. ‘Okay …’
‘He promises he’ll be good to you, Nadia. Now, go. Wait outside. Look for the yellow roses.’
Nadia looked at her friend.
‘Go!’
Gaby said, smiling.
52
Nadia
Nadia walked out of the office, and immediately her eye was drawn to a man in a security uniform, wearing a yellow rose in his lapel. He looked to her immediately. She recognized him as the man who had come up to her lab earlier that day with the flowers – the one who had stared at her and said the thing about understanding what all the fuss was about.
‘Hi,’ he said. ‘Nadia.’
Nadia nodded. ‘Hi, again.’
‘I’m Romeo. I didn’t introduce myself before, but I work with Daniel, and I hope you don’t think this is strange, but I wanted to tell you, before you met him – he’s a good guy. He was telling the truth about why he had to leave that night, when you had your first date. His mother needed him. But then, he’s just that kind of guy …’
Nadia nodded again. She looked in the direction of the road, wondering who else she’d speak to and where he was hiding.
‘I’m supposed to tell you that he’s regretted it since it happened. He regretted standing you up. He’s thought of you every day since then, and I can vouch for that because we’ve talked about it.’ Nadia smiled. ‘He said to take note of all the details you can, because you’ll never have another first date again. He’s going to do this one right.’
Nadia raised her eyebrows. ‘That’s confident of him,’ she said.
Romeo laughed. ‘He’s confident about you, I think,’ he said. And then: ‘Okay. Go in that direction, across the road. Find the next person. Enjoy!’
Nadia smiled at him, and kept walking.
53
Nadia
‘Nadia!’ she heard, a voice she recognized. Across the street was Emma, wearing a yellow rose around her neck. ‘Come here!’
Nadia shook her head, as if to say, ‘What the hell?’ Emma laughed. Nadia knew she must look confused, and that Emma laughed hardest when she looked like a fish out of water.
‘He’s wonderful!’ she said, as Nadia reached her.
‘You met him?’ Nadia said.
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