“What if he doesn’t?” Ainsley asked, looking at Shay out of the corner of her eye. “Have you thought about how you’re going to feel if he doesn’t want to meet you guys?”
“Of course I’ve thought about it.” She took another spoonful, knowing no amount of sugar would dull the pain if that came to pass.
“And?”
“And I can’t live my life in fear anymore. I have to face the past, come to terms with what I did. Tell my son that I’m sorry, I’ll always love him, and just make sure he’s okay, you know? He’s getting to that age where he’ll be thinking about college soon. What if his adoptive parents can’t help him with that? I want to be able to.”
“Don’t you think you have your hands full trying to support your own family?”
“But he’s my family too, and I’d do anything for him.” Shay said, feeling the truth of that statement. If she got a call asking her to donate an organ to him she would do it without hesitation. That’s how much she loved this person whose name she didn’t even know.
“You really think Chase would let his kid stress about how he was going to pay for college? Come on, you know he’d step up.”
“Yeah,” Shay said, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she kicked her high heels off. “I know he would. But I’d want to do my part too.”
Before Ainsley could respond Shay’s doorbell rang. “Are you expecting company?”
“Nope, though a pizza sounds good right about now. I left my parents’ house before…” Shay stopped in her small foyer when she realized who was standing on the other side of her door. Chase.
“Ohhhh,” Ainsley said, grasping her wrist as she came up behind her. “I wonder what he wants.”
“I don’t know.” Suddenly the thought of having Chase in her personal space made Shay feel very vulnerable.
Nudging her towards the door, Ainsley said, “Well, don’t keep me in suspense. Open it already.”
Chapter Six
Chase drove by her house twice, trying to decide whether to head home, but he knew he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep until they had this conversation face-to-face.
“Hi,” Shay said, her cheeks flushed as she opened the door. “How’d you know where to find me?”
Chase tried to keep a straight face when Ainsley nudged her forward, so they were standing mere inches apart. “Uh, you’re listed. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by like this? I really need to talk to you and I didn’t think it could wait ‘til morning.”
“No, I don’t mind.” Shay stepped back to let him in.
Ainsley gave them both a quick hug before she winked at Shay and said, “Call me if you need me.”
“Um, we were just having ice cream.” She closed the door and leaned against it, facing him. “Want some?”
He smirked. “Just a water would be great, thanks.”
Shay smiled before leading him into her small kitchen. “I should have known better than to ask if you’d like ice cream. You always passed on sweets, didn’t you?”
Chase stood in the doorframe of her kitchen, wondering how many men she’d prepared meals for in this room. “There are some things I would change about myself if I could,” he said, accepting the water she offered. “But not having a sweet tooth isn’t one of them.”
She set the empty bowls in the sink before leading the way into the living room. “I skipped dinner. I was just thinking about ordering a pizza. Care to share?”
“I’d love to.” It had been a long time since they’d shared a meal and Chase couldn’t help but hope this would be the first of many more.
She called it in before coming to sit beside him on the two-seater white slipcovered sofa, tucking her legs under her. “So, what would you change, if you could?”
It wasn’t easy to think straight with her so close, but he forced his eyes back to her beautiful face when he asked, “What’s that?”
“You said there were a lot of things you would change about yourself if you could. Name one.”
He smiled, settling back as he prepared for one of their talks. It had been a long time, but Chase hadn’t forgotten how much Shay liked to philosophise. She’d always claimed she was an over-thinker, but he liked that about her. She forced him to digger deeper than he would have without her there to ask him the tough questions. Like now.
“I’d work less. Your turn.”
“Ditto.” She propped her elbow on the back of the sofa, resting her head in her hand. “That’s not entirely true. When I was working on the book the hours were grueling, especially when the deadline was looming, but I loved every second of it.”
“So you’d rather work on something you’re passionate about instead of working out of obligation?” He hated to think of her wasting her life supporting a family who had never really appreciated her. Unless her parents had done a complete one-eighty in recent years, they wouldn’t even acknowledge that she’d sacrificed her life for theirs.
“Something like that.” She peered at him through her long lashes. “Okay, you’re turn. Name something else.”
“Hmmm.” He knew she didn’t take these questions lightly and he saw this as an opportunity for them to get to know each all over again so he took his time before responding. “I’d travel more, for pleasure. I get to travel a lot for work, mostly throughout the States to scope out new locations for retail stores and deal with suppliers. Since we were committed to domestic production to help save jobs, we’d never had much cause for International travel.”
“You always used to talk about the places you’d like to visit on some of those extreme outdoor adventures,” she said, scrunching her nose. “Sport fishing in the Amazon, Safaris in Africa…” She shuddered. “The thought of you doing some of those things used to scare the heck out of me.” She laughed, slapping his arm. “Of course you didn’t have two nickels to rub together back then, so I knew there was no immediate threat.”
“Yeah,” he said, smiling. “Ironic, isn’t it? Back then I had no shortage of time, but I didn’t have the money to make it happen. Now it’s the other way around.”
“Did moving here increase your workload?”
“Not really.” He tipped his bottle back as his eyes scanned the room. The large pieces of furniture were light and neutral, with pine accent tables, but there were feminine touches, like aqua curtains and throw cushions.
“What?” she asked, following his gaze around the room. “You don’t like it?”
“No, it’s great. I always wondered where you’d live, the kind of house you’d have.”
“Then you thought about me over the years?” she asked, glancing at a framed photo of her family.
He wanted to tell her he’d thought about her more than he cared to admit, but he was determined to keep it casual. “Of course I thought about you. How could I not? We were a big part of each other’s lives for a long time. And after what we shared…” He didn’t want them to keep circling back to the adoption, though he knew it was inevitable. “Well, I guess it’s only natural we’d wonder.”
“I thought about you too.” She sounded almost shy as she admitted, “I’m really glad you’re back, Chase. I’ve missed you.”
Those three little words, I’ve missed you, made it even more difficult to suppress the urge to kiss her. He’d wanted to ever since he laid eyes on her at Rusty’s and every time he saw her he wanted it more.
“I’ve missed you too.” His voice was raspy as he tried to find a balance between the truth and scaring her off by revealing too much. “I’ve dated a fair bit over the years, when time allowed, but there’s only been one Shay in my life.”
She smiled before biting her lip. “How selfish would it be to admit I’m happy to hear that?”
The doorbell rang, drawing them out of the moment as Chase reached for his wallet. “That was quick.”
“They’re just around the corner,” she said, jumping up. “You don’t have to get that. My purse is in the—”
“Hey,” he said, gra
bbing her arm before she could reach the hall. “I got this. You wouldn’t want to get pizza sauce all over your fancy work clothes. Why don’t you go throw some sweats on while I get the door?”
“Okay, thanks,” she said, making a beeline upstairs.
He paid the delivery guy, grossly over-tipping him because he remembered what it was like to be a teen and have a job like that. As he brought the box in and set it on the coffee table his eyes drifted to a framed baby picture he hadn’t noticed before.
As he studied it, he sucked in a sharp breath.
“I have a feeling he’ll look just like you,” Shay said softly, as she stood in the doorway and watched him. She’d changed into yoga pants, a black tank, and white cropped hoodie.
Chase swallowed continuously, fixating on the perfect little baby in the old photograph. “Where did you get this?” he asked, when he finally found his voice.
“Ainsley took that one just after he was born. I have another copy at the office. You should take that one.”
“No, I couldn’t.”
He set the frame back on the table, his eyes never leaving it. He tried to imagine the kind of young man that little baby had grown into, but he couldn’t. Would he be tall and broad, like him, or smaller in stature, like his mom? Would he have his blue eyes or Shay’s dark eyes?
“Please,” she said, walking over to the table to pick up the frame. “I can always have another copy made, Chase. You should have this one.”
He wanted it. More than anything. “Thanks.” He realized his hand was trembling when he reached out to take it. She must have saw it too because she gave him a wobbly smile.
“I’ll just grab us some plates and napkins for the pizza. Do you want something else to drink? Soda or beer, maybe?”
“I’m good, thanks.”
He appreciated her excuse to leave him alone for a minute. He needed to collect himself before he made a fool of himself by crying. It’s not that he hadn’t cried over the loss of his son plenty over the years. He had. Just not in front of anyone.
“Thanks,” he said, when she returned and set a bottled water down in front of him anyways.
“I’m so scared,” she whispered, staring at the photo in his hands. “What if he hates me?”
Chase wanted to tell her that was impossible, that no one who knew her could hate her, but their son didn’t know her and could very well resent both of them. “Actually, that’s what I came here to talk to you about tonight,” he said, setting the frame down on the table. “I’m guessing Ainsley told you about our talk?”
“Yeah, that’s why she was here. She was afraid she over-stepped by going to see you, and she didn’t want me to hate her.” She started dishing up the pizza, handing him a plate, along with a paper napkin. “But she knows I could never stay mad at her, even she does stick her nose where it doesn’t belong sometimes.”
“Because she loves you.” Chase knew he didn’t have to remind her of that. He’d never known two women more connected than Ainsley and Shay.
“I think she loves us together, if you want the truth,” she said, laughing, almost self-consciously. “You know how many times over the years she’s told me I haven’t gotten serious with anyone else because you were my soul mate?”
Chase took a bite of pizza because he knew if he didn’t he would blurt out something stupid, like… She’s right!
“But she raised a good point,” he said, trying to give her a graceful way to change the subject. Judging by the sudden color in her cheeks she was wishing she could take her words back. “Maybe I should reach out to him first. I can try to explain the situation to him. That way, if he’s willing to see us again after that, he might be more receptive to seeing you, after he’s heard the story.”
Even after all these years Chase would still do just about anything to protect Shay, though he knew her well enough to know she wouldn’t appreciate his efforts. She was strong and independent and preferred to let on that she didn’t need anyone.
“No.” She shook her head emphatically, reminding him of the stubborn girl he used to love. Once she dug her heels in about something there was no changing her mind. “I want to meet him. With you. I don’t want you to try and convince him he doesn’t have the right to feel hurt or angry or confused. He does. I don’t want to make him feel guilty for feeling that way. I’m sure we would in his position, right?”
“I guess you’re right.”
“You know I am.”
They ate in silence for a few minutes, with him polishing off two pieces of pizza to her one.
“Have you started to do any digging yet?” she asked, reaching for her water. “You said something about hiring someone to help find him?”
“Yeah, but I was wondering whether you have any paperwork that might help? You know, from the adoption agency you dealt with. It was an open adoption, so—”
“I do,” she said, jumping up. “They’re in my office. I’ll be right back.”
He appreciated the fact that she was making this easy for him. When he’d come back to town he wasn’t sure what to expect. There had been a lot of hostility between them when he left, mainly because they disagreed about the right course of action.
“Penny for your thoughts,” she said, standing in the doorway with a non-descript manila envelope pressed to her chest.
“I was just thinking it’s nice we can be friends after everything that went down between us.” When she didn’t respond right away he added, “Assuming that’s what we are? Friends.”
“I think so.” She sat on the edge of the sofa, further away than she’d been the first time. “I mean, I’d like to be friends.” She bit her lip, her eyes straying back to the photo. “Ainsley has been amazing, but no one else really understands what it was like to give him up, to wonder all these years about what he’s like.”
“What does he look like?” Chase said, knowing he was mimicking her thoughts. “Does he have any of your mannerisms or mine?”
“Is he an athlete like you or a writer like me?”
“Does he love the outdoors?” Chase cleared his throat. “Did his adoptive dad ever take him fishing or hunting? Is that something they like to do together?”
She surprised him by placing a hand on his knee. “Does he have a girlfriend?” She wrinkled her nose, making him laugh. “Ugh, I’m not sure I could handle that. I still imagine him as a little boy, you know?”
“Yeah, me too.”
It killed Chase to think about all of the important moments they’d missed out on. But if they were lucky enough to get a second chance to be a part of his life, there were a lot of amazing moments to look forward to. Like high school and college graduations. Maybe a wedding and grandbabies.
She pulled her hand away, resting her elbows on her knees as she covered her face with her palms. “I just pray he doesn’t tell us he never wants to see or hear from us again.”
Chase inched closer, resting his hand on her back. “Sweetheart, there’s a chance of that happening. We have to be prepared for that.” The endearment slipped out before he had a chance to censor it, but instead of reprimanding him she leaned in to him instead, gratefully taking the support he offered.
“I’m just so glad you’re here to do this with me. I don’t think I could do it alone.”
He was dying to kiss her, but he knew it wasn’t the right time. She was feeling sad and vulnerable and scared and he refused to take advantage of that. With any luck their mutual love for their son would be the bridge that brought them back together, but Chase didn’t want her to think, even for a second, that he was trying to use to use this horrible situation to his advantage to reconnect with her.
“I’m not sure I could either,” he said honestly, brushing his lips against her temple.
Chase was completely stunned when he got off the phone with the adoption agency the next day. He hadn’t been able to track down the adoptive parents via the records Shay gave him. With good reason. His adoptive father died and the moth
er re-married and changed her name. Apparently the lady at the adoption agency knew that because the adoptive mother called the agency to provide her new information… in case Nick’s birth parents ever sought him out.
After all these years his son finally had a name. Nicholas.
He stared at the photo Shay gave him, which was now displayed prominently on his desk, right beside his phone. He was still trying to decide who he should call first. Nick’s adoptive mother or Shay, to fill her in on what he’d learned. He didn’t know if she would want to be a part of the phone conversation or not. They hadn’t discussed that last night.
“Knock, knock.”
Chase smiled when he saw his mother, knowing if anyone could help him make sense of this, she could. He jumped up and walked around his desk, enveloping her in a huge hug. “How is it you always know when I need you?”
She smiled, patting his cheek. “You know that’s a mother’s job. Besides, I might be here on a bit of a fishing expedition.”
She held up a paper bag, shaking it under his nose. He didn’t even have to ask what was inside. He knew. His favorite homemade chocolate chip pecan cookies. He didn’t have a sweet tooth, but always made an exception for his mama’s cookies.
“And I wouldn’t come without the right kind of bait.”
He laughed as dug into the bag, popping one of the small cookies in his mouth and moaning with appreciation as he closed his eyes. “Mmm, these are good.” He offered her one, which she declined, before he set the bag on his desk and headed for the coffee maker set up in the small kitchenette in the corner of his office. “You want one?” he asked, raising a mug.
“No thanks, honey.” She watched him carefully. “So, I was helping out at the church this morning when Vi Banks told me an interesting bit of news.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“Well, I don’t know if you know this, but she’s Shay’s neighbour. She lives right across the street. When her husband died she wanted to downsize. That big old house with all that acreage was just too much for her to handle on her own and—”
Small Town Billionaire Page 6
