“Then I’d say you’re better off than most teens.” He smirked. “I remember that being the hardest time in my life. I was so confused about everything. I didn’t know where life was going to take me or even where I wanted to end up.”
“Guess you figured it out, huh?”
“Yeah, when Shay told me she was pregnant, I think that’s when I finally realized it was time to grow up.”
“In her book Shay said you wanted to keep me,” Nick asked, his voice cracking. “Is that true?”
“It sure is.” Chase shook his head. “But I’m not sure that would have been the best thing for you. I didn’t know how to be a parent. At that time I couldn’t even take care of myself. But I vowed if I ever found myself in that position again, with the opportunity to be a father, that I would be able to do right by my kid.” He looked at Nick. “You may not realize this, but I wouldn’t be where I am without you.”
Nick swallowed, cursing the burn in his throat. “Really?”
“Really.” Chase sighed. “I didn’t want that sacrifice to have been for nothing. I wanted to make something of my life, so if I ever had the opportunity to meet you, maybe, just maybe, you’d be proud of me.”
Nick closed his eyes before dropping his head as the battle with his emotions continued. “I am proud of you.”
He’d bragged to all the guys at school that the Chase Wright, owner of Backwoods Outdoors was his biological father. Half of them didn’t believe him until they saw Chase with their own eyes at the football game in Brockville, but Nick didn’t have to prove anything to them. It was enough for him that he knew the truth.
“You mean that?” Chase asked, the disbelief echoing in his tone.
“Come on, man. You can’t be surprised to hear me say that. You’re like the richest guy I know.”
Chase shook his head as a fish broke through the water. “No, I’m not, Nick. I’m sure you know guys a lot richer than I am.”
“No, I—”
“My dad was the richest guy I knew. People loved him. He had a lot of good friends, a wife who adored him, kids who looked up to him, his faith…” Chase drew a deep breath, running his palms over his denim-clad thighs. “He’d be the first to lend a hand to someone in need. He may not have had much money in the bank, but he was rich in all the ways that mattered.”
“I guess I get what you’re saying, but you can’t deny you are rich. By most people’s standards, I mean.”
“That’s only because most people don’t get it. They figure if you’ve got a few millions bucks in the bank you’ve got it all. That’s not true.” He wiped a bead of sweat off his brow before leaning back on his palms. “I came back to Landon to see if I could build real wealth here. I’m not talking about my business now. I’m talking about the relationships that mean the most to me.”
“You mean Shay?”
“Shay. My mom. My brother. You.” He smiled. “My sister’s half-way around the country, but her too. I have a lot of good friends here too, people I left behind when I swore I’d never come back.”
“So, that’s why you came back, ‘cause you were missing everybody?”
“I came back because there was a void in my life. A huge void. I had some idea that void was tied to you and Shay, but I didn’t know for sure until I had both of you back in my life.”
Nick smiled slightly, honoured to be a part of the select group who meant the most to Chase.
“I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life since getting to know you, Nick,” Chase whispered, glancing at his son. “And it would destroy me to lose you now.”
Nick didn’t know what to say. Though he loved both of his parents, he’d never told them so. He didn’t think he had to. He just assumed they knew. But seeing Chase’s obvious display of emotion made him question whether it was better to say it out loud.
“I’m glad you’re in my life too. I’ve wanted this for a really long time.” When they shared a smile, Nick said, “I’m sorry for being a jerk earlier.”
Chase laughed. “So am I. I could have handled things a lot better than I did. But I’m new at this and I’m going to need you to be patient with me while I figure it out. You think you can do that?”
“I think so.” Nick felt better than he had in a really long time. Something told him that everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to.
“Good. So, about this summer…”
“Don’t worry about that. I know it was a lot to ask. We don’t know each other all that well yet.”
“I can’t think of a better way to get to know each other.” Chase grinned. “Can you?”
“You mean you really want me to come stay with you?”
“Of course I do.”
“And Shay is okay with it too?”
Chase chuckled. “She was ready to smack me upside the head when she found out I didn’t agree to it right away.”
Nick was glad to hear that she wanted to spend more time with him. “Cool. And my mom’s really okay with it? You don’t think she’s just saying that?”
“No, I don’t. But will you do me a favour?”
“Sure.” Nick didn’t even have to ask what it was. Chase was quickly becoming one of the few people he’d do just about anything for. “What?”
“Go home and give your mom a hug. Tell her you love her and that you appreciate everything she’s done for you.”
Nick knew that was something he should have done a long time ago. “Yeah, I can do that.”
Chapter Eighteen
Shay and Chase had taken Nick back to Brockville together, but their son had done most of the talking. Chase had been uncharacteristically quiet, which made Shay nervous. She knew she had to apologize for the way she’d gone off on him earlier, so when he walked her to her front door, she invited him in for a drink.
“I should probably get home.” Chase hooked his thumb over his shoulder. “I’m dealing with a bit of a work crisis so—”
She grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him in for a kiss. “I know you’re mad at me and I’m sorry.”
He flattened his palm on the door above her head, leaning in until his body was brushing hers. “I’m not mad. I guess I’m just a little hurt that you assumed I didn’t want our son around. I know I didn’t handle the situation very well—”
“Neither did I.” She sighed as she rested her hands on his chest. “But we’re new to this whole parenting thing. We’re bound to make mistakes, right? Especially with a teenager.”
Shay would never admit it, but she was nervous about having Nick with them all summer. She didn’t want to say or do anything that would hurt her relationship with him, but she knew that was inevitable, unless they intended to let him do whatever he wanted all summer, which was not an option.
“Yeah, I guess.”
She threaded her hands through his hair when he dropped his head, bringing her face up to meet his. “And that’s not the only thing I’m new at, Chase. Relationships have always been hard for me. I haven’t had a lot of experience. Ever since you left…” She diverted her eyes, almost afraid to admit the truth. “Well, I haven’t really had much of an interest in anyone else.”
“What about that guy who proposed to you?”
“I’m ashamed to admit I never really gave that relationship the time and attention it deserved, but then, neither did he, so I guess that’s why it didn’t work.”
He nodded, looking as though he was considering her answer. Perhaps he was thinking about his past, about all of the women who hadn’t been able to hold his attention.
“But I do want things to work with you,” Shay whispered, brushing her lips against his. “I want that more than I’ve wanted anything in a really long time.” Except for getting to know Nick… that was something she’d wanted as much as she wanted another chance with Chase.
Mrs. Banks spotted them as she was taking her trash bins to the curb, prompting Chase to stand up straighter, taking a step back from Shay.
“E
vening, Mrs. Banks,” Chase said, nodding. “Nice night, isn’t it?”
Shay admired his ability to pretend they hadn’t been in the midst of a potentially life-altering conversation just moments before because it took her a lot longer to hide her frustration with a fake smile.
“It sure is.” The petite, white haired-lady, who had known both of them since they were kids, laughed like she knew a joke and didn’t intend to let them in on it. “I knew this would happen when I heard you were moving back to town.” She gestured between Shay and Chase with a smile. “I told your mama that, Chase. That this here girl was the reason you were coming back, though you were probably too bull-headed to admit it.”
Shay had always gotten along well with her opinionated, but well-meaning neighbour, but tonight she didn’t have the patience for her meddling. Not when her future with Chase felt like it was hanging in the balance.
“She was a big part of the reason,” Chase admitted, with a half-smile. “Though you’re right, I don’t think I even admitted it to myself at the time.”
She folded her arms, shaking her head. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you boys today. Back when me and Martin were courting, there was never any doubt we’d get married. It was just a question of when, not if. We didn’t waste our time pussy-footing around, waiting to see if there was someone better out there. We trusted our heart. And I can only speak for myself, but I never regretted doing that.”
Chase glanced at Shay briefly before he said to Mrs. Banks, “You’re right. Sometimes we can take too long to figure out what’s right.”
“But it’s not too late.” She smiled, her satisfaction evident when she said, “You’re both here now, and obviously as in love as you were when you were teens. So, what’s stopping you from getting down on one knee and making an honest woman of her?”
Chase chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck while Shay felt the heat creeping up her neck as she grabbed Chase’s hand before fitting her key into the lock.
“If you’ll excuse us, Mrs. Banks. We were right in the middle of something. I’ll see you at the church fundraiser on Wednesday night, if I don’t see you before.” She hauled Chase inside, giving him only enough time to wave at her neighbour before she slammed the door, pressing her forehead against the cool wood. “Ugh, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe she put you on the spot like that.”
“You have to admit she made a good point.” He stroked the stubble on his chin. “I remember my dad used to say the same thing to me: when you meet the right one, don’t waste time questioning it, just go for it.”
Shay laughed, trying to hide her nervousness as she made her way around him. As much as she wanted this to mean the beginning of something wonderful for them, she didn’t want them to rush into anything because he felt pressured. That was the reason she wouldn’t consider marrying him years ago, because she didn’t want him to feel as though he had to marry her, because it was expected.
“Hey,” he grabbed her around the waist from behind, burying his face in her neck. “Why’re you trying to get away from me? Are you getting nervous with all this talk about marriage?”
Her heart was pounding so hard she was sure he could hear it when she said, “I’m not nervous. I’m just…” She couldn’t tell him that loving him made her feel more scared and vulnerable than she ever had, but it was true. “Trying to make sense of what you’re saying.”
“What you said on the porch about wanting this to work, did you mean it?”
“Of course I did.”
“So, how do you see this working? What’s your ideal scenario?”
Was he crazy? They’d just started dating again and he expected her to start talking about marriage and babies and every other wonderful thing she’d ever fantasized about sharing with him? “Well, um, I’m too old to be wasting time with someone who doesn’t want the same things I do, so I guess it makes sense to make sure we’re on the same page before we take this any further.”
“Right. So, let’s hear it. What do you want from me, Shay?”
She removed his arms from around her waist, needing a little breathing room to collect herself. She knew he was expecting an answer, but she wasn’t sure she could give him one. Not now. It was too soon.
“I want us to spend more time together, to get to know each other all over again.” She walked into the living room, sinking into an armchair while he followed her into the room.
He set his hands on his hips as he stared at her intently. “You said you loved me the other night at the inn. You sure about that?”
She’d told him dozens of times since then too. How could he doubt that? “You have to ask?”
“Yeah, I do.” His response was clipped when he said, “Because the way you’ve been acting today makes me wonder where I stand with you.”
Shay panicked as she started to feel him slipping away again. “Loving you is the easy part,” she said, tucking her legs under her. She took a deep breath, mentally rehearsing the words before she blurted out, “Figuring out how to keep you happy is the hard part.”
He frowned as he leaned against the doorframe, watching her. “It’s not your job to make me happy.”
She tried to hide her hurt when she asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Shay, I’ve built my life around doing the things that make me happy. I’m lucky, ‘cause my job happens to be one of those things. Spending time with you and Nick and my friends and family makes me happy too.”
“But I’m just a small part of it?” She knew everything he said made sense. He was a man who’d taken the time to get to know himself, who’d built a life he loved on his terms. Just because she hadn’t done the same didn’t mean she should resent him for not needing her to be happy.
He walked slowly towards her, sitting down on the coffee table in front of her while his eyes met hers. “When I left here years ago I never thought I’d be happy again. That’s when I realized I couldn’t make my happiness so dependent on another person.”
She swallowed, folding her arms. “Right. Makes sense.”
“You first have to understand how broken I was before you can begin to understand how hard it was for me to pick up the pieces of my life. I know your story, how you felt after I left, because I read your book. But you don’t know my story.”
“Tell me,” Shay said, feeling her heart opening to him as she imagined the pain he’d endured with only his best friend by his side to see him through it.
“I felt physically sick all the time, especially the days leading up to your delivery.” Resting his elbows on his knees, he curled his hands, covering his mouth. “I couldn’t eat or sleep, I just... cried.”
Shay reached for his hand, feeling his pulse point on the back of his wrist with her thumb. “You weren’t the only one.”
“I know. I thought I was losing my mind.” He shook his head. “It took a long time for me to feel normal again.”
“Me too.” If anyone understood the way he felt, she did.
“So I distracted myself, first with school, then building the business. That made me happy, sort of. At least it made me feel like I had a purpose.”
She nodded. “Yeah, school did that for me too. So did my writing.”
“I’d been so dependent on you to make me happy. I didn’t realize that until you weren’t in my life anymore, ‘cause without you I was so miserable. For the longest time it was like a physical ache that wouldn’t go away.” He gripped his chest, tugging his shirt. “It wasn’t healthy. I knew that. But I didn’t know how to make it stop. I couldn’t be with you anymore, not after everything that happened. But I didn’t know how to be without you either.”
Shay didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. He was telling her story too and she sensed he knew it.
“Then slowly, day by day, I started to take pleasure in the things that used to make me happy: fishing, hunting, hanging out with friends, talking to family, playing sports… I started to remember what it felt like to be wh
ole again.”
Shay wasn’t sure she’d ever felt whole, not since before she learned she was pregnant.
“I kept women at arm’s length because I didn’t want to build my life around another woman only to be let down again. I know that was a coward’s way out and I’m not proud of it, but it’s the truth.”
“I can understand how you felt. I did the same thing.”
“So, you see, sitting here today, admitting the truth… that you contribute to my happiness. You and Nick both, is scary for me. Because I’m giving you so much power.”
Shay had never considered that before, how unhealthy it was to depend on someone else to make her happy. She just assumed that’s what everyone in a committed relationship did, but hearing Chase’s perspective made so much sense to her.
“If either one of you walks away it would be a serious blow.” He took both of her hands, resting his forehead against her knuckles. “But I can’t make my happiness all about you, Shay. Or Nick either, for that matter. I worked long and hard to be my own man and that’s the only reason I can tell you now that I finally believe I’m ready for you.”
When she couldn’t speak past the lump in her throat, he whispered, “What about you? Can you honestly say that you’re ready for me? For us?”
She thought she was, but hearing him talk about that time after their break-up was like re-opening an old wound. It reminded her how weak and desperate and scared she’d felt and she never wanted to experience that kind of pain again. She couldn’t. She didn’t know if she’d survive it this time.
“Before you answer that,” he said, obviously sensing her hesitation. “What made you decide you were ready for Nick to be a part of your life?”
She frowned at the question, withdrawing her hands when her whole body felt like it was trembling. “How could I not want him in my life? I love him.”
“I get that. So do I. But weren’t you scared that he might hurt you, reject you even?”
“You know I was.” She didn’t understand why he was asking her these questions when she’d already told him meeting Nick had meant putting her heart on the line.
Small Town Billionaire Page 19
