by Emilia Loft
“What is it?”
She tried to listen but shook her head, didn’t know. She pulled back the furs covering Casper’s body, then tucked the cooing child into his arms.
“Stay.”
She darted out the door. He wasn’t sure which one of them she’d been speaking to, and his body was far too battered to do much more than shift a bit where he lay. So he held onto the small child, straining to hear while the baby curled against him, content to jam its chubby fingers in his mouth.
* * *
What had he expected? Some show of force, perhaps, an arrow to the side, some bound wrists and head blows before he was thrown at the mercy of their savage king. They were on him quick enough, that was sure, and he’d reigned in, hands in the air, but shit, the bastards didn’t even take his guns. That was confusing.
The big one in charge had looked him up and down then nodded his head in the direction of the village indicating he should follow. Had they been expecting him? Shit was there some way Alistair had doubled back and this was some sort of trap? He was going over and over every possible way he could hold them off from killing him just long enough to find out about his people, that he almost missed the sound of his name being called over the sound of the gathering crowd.
“Evan! Evan!” Lisa ran to him, the crowd parting to let her through. A light snow had begun to fall and it dusted her hair and shoulders in a delicate web.
Evan jumped from his horse to gather her in his arms, holding her tight as she shook and cried. Apart from the smudge of a bruise to her temple and a thin scratch to her neck, she looked fine. She was fine and he didn’t understand any of it but he would take it.
She pulled him along to the largest of the huts, dragging him inside as if they had every right to be there. In the dark he could only see shapes but there was no mistaking Meg’s laughter.
Men and women bustled about, serving food, passing drinks, swirling about a white haired, leathern man who sat amidst them with a fine, straight back and sharp, glittering eyes. Meg sat to his left amidst a circle of hardened braves, Bobby beside her with a look of frustrated resignation. There was a pile of bones before them and neat little piles of perfectly whittled sticks that changed hands as one after the other passed around a cup that rattled with crudely fashioned dice.
“Boy!” Bobby spotted him first and tried to stand, and that’s when Evan saw the wrappings around his thigh and the tight grimace of pain. He ran to his side.
“Bobby! What did they do, are you ok?”
“This was from that rat bastard Alistair. I’ll be ok, no need to fuss like some nursemaid.” He pulled Evan in to sit by his side, giving the younger man’s arm a firm squeeze as his eyes went glassy in the firelight. “I knew you’d find us.”
“Double sixes boys! Pay up!” Meg chortled as the men around her groaned.
“I’ll give you two guesses who made a new best friend of ol’ Chief Seven Rivers over there. I have no idea what they’ve been playin’ but apparently the missus is a quick study and’s been cleanin’ ‘em out.”
“If I get an eight this next pass I think I get a pony!”
“Woman you get to be much more trouble I’ll just trade you in for that pony. Least that won’t talk back so much.”
“Careful now,” she laughed. “I got an offer on the table already. Reckon I’d make a right nice Indian queen.”
“Where’s Casper?” Evan had been scanning the dark, and while he was bursting with curiosity and thrilled beyond measure that his friends appeared to be alright, none of that had done a thing to dampen the cold panic that had made a mess of his insides from the moment he’d heard what happened. And the way his friends got somber, the way Lisa gripped his hand and turned troubled eyes on him had him on his feet and ready to tear the whole village apart with his bare hands. The chief’s men sensed his mood and some of them stood as well, ready to take him down.
“Sit down son!” Bobby pulled him back down to his side. “He’s alive, no need to get yourself killed. He’s just….he’s a mite banged up is all.”
They told him everything, Alistair’s desire to use his relationship with the tribe to see them enslaved, or at the very least executed. How the chief had been looking for a way to rid himself of the evil man’s presence for some time and used the situation to clear his debt. They told him of the gauntlet and what Casper had done for Bobby.
“Where is he? I’ve got to see him!”
Lisa took him, threaded her fingers through his as she wove through the village, finding the right door and ducking in.
Casper.
The coil of dread released from his heart so quickly, so violently at the sight of the man’s gorgeous, shocked, perfect blue eyes, he wasn’t able to stop himself from falling to his knees beside the man with a sob. He reached for him, wanted to hold his face in his hands and say something, anything that let the preacher know that everything would be ok now that they were together. But he froze, remembering Lisa at the last moment and pulling back. Casper looked pale, there were welts, gashes littered over his skin, across his beautiful face and covering the backs of his elegant hands, but many of them had been cleaned and dressed with sticky looking poultices that smelled strongly of herbs.
“Evan!” His voice rough, unsure.
“I’m here, Cas. I’m here to take you home.” Evan did his very best to hold back the tears, but his voice cracked sharply so he looked at Lisa as if to include her in the sentiment.
Lisa bent down to lift a sleeping infant from the crook of Casper’s arm, and Evan was shocked that he hadn’t even noticed the thing snuggled there on the furs. After putting the child in its cradleboard, she pulled him aside but he never let his eyes leave the dark haired man.
“He can’t leave yet, Evan, he’s too weak. They said we were free to go but we didn’t want to leave him.”
“You leave soon or you stay. Storm coming.”
They both turned to see the young girl standing in the doorway, followed a moment later by a young man. Evan was good with faces but he didn’t need it this time, the huge scar bisecting the man’s body was familiar enough.
“You took care of him –them…..this is your house?” The girl translated for the man but didn’t wait
for his reply.
“This my brother place. Cas-tee-el bring his baby, he help Cas-tee-el. It is honor for him, Cas-tee-el is strong and now has honor with the people.”
“Thank you.”
The girl shrugged. “Not for you, but you stay here if you need. Storm is big, you stay here for long time if it come.”
Lisa blanched. “Evan, I can’t…Ben and-“
“Don’t worry Lis. I’ll figure it out.”
* * *
Evan was here.
Evan was here beside him and he wondered if this was some sort of delirium. Then Lisa sat beside him as well and he couldn’t say what he wanted to, couldn’t cry with relief and pull Evan down into his arms. Only stare at those green eyes and try as hard as he could to get his feelings through.
He loved him. Poor, sweet Anna was dead and the grief was just waiting in the shadows to shatter him, he knew that it would. People had died, he was going to go home and hear the names of which of his friends had been killed, he would be spending a lifetime standing beside graves. And Lisa and Ben would need Evan now more than ever to get through this, but at the end of it all, he loved him. Loved Evan Parker with everything he had and there was no way to escape or turn away.
Evan put Bobby on his horse and Waneek’s brother loaned them two more for the women.Parkeract as guide to see them safely back to Lawrence, with Waneek joining him as interpreter. All told it was only a few days round trip but Evan gave the girl a message for Sam. With the damage to his own home and a storm coming, Sam should move his family in with Lisa until repairs were made. He also made sure she could remember the phrase ‘We’ll be home as soon as we can, bitch’, and sent them on their way.
He would stay with Casper.
There was so much Casper wanted to say, to do, but now, even with the others gone, Evan kept his distance. He spent every moment of the next few days caring for Casper, feeding him, cleaning his wounds, dressing them. But he never let his touch linger, or his gaze, took to sleeping on his own furs opposite the fire. Casper didn’t know what to do, they hadn’t spoken since his wedding day, hadn’t cleared away the hurt between them. But after everything that had just happened, shouldn’t that fire have burned away the brush?
“Evan.”
Evan sat cross legged by the fire, honing his knife, he didn’t look up.
“Evan are you….” He was about to say alright, but of course the man wasn’t alright. “I’m sorry
you have to stay here with me. You should have just gone with Lisa, I would have been fine here on my own.”
Evan paused in his task, but didn’t look up.
“I-I bargained with God for you.” He tested the edge with his thumb, stared blankly at the welling red, let it drip down his finger. “I told him, if ya gotta take someone….take any of ‘em but Cas.
Lisa ‘n Bobby, they mean everything to me, but I woulda lived another day after puttin’ them in the ground if it meant you were still alive.” He huffed a bitter little laugh and sucked at his bleeding thumb.
“Anna’s dead.”
Evan finally looked at him, he hadn’t known.
“It hasn’t even hit me yet. I held her….what- what was left of her, but it doesn’t seem real.”
Evan crawled over to him, knelt beside him and brushed a gentle hand across his cheek. Casper’s beard was growing in quick, and now he noticed how much Evan’s had too, how the firelight caught the red flecks in it and made him look younger while his eyes looked suddenly old. Casper reached up to hold the man’s wrist.
“I don’t know where we stand Evan, after this. I don’t know how this can even work, but I love you.”
“Cas.” Evan choked out before rushing at his dry, cracked lips, peppering them with soft kisses as it was still too painful for Casper to return the gesture properly. But it was enough, for now. They would figure it out.
The next day Waneek returned with her brother, the spare horses ladened down with supplies and a message from Sam.
“He say this for you so you not eat all our food. And family good and you be safe and you a jerk.”
The storm came that night, after a day of gunmetal skies and bitter, crackling wind. Waneek’s brother had given them his hut to use, as Casper wasn’t in much state to move. Evan slept curled around him under the furs and the next morning the snow piled so high there was no real reason to leave them.
Evan was careful with him, so careful. Their kisses were light and soft, and Evan made a game of finding all the unbruised patches on Casper’s skin where he could lick and mouth without causing him pain. By the end of the week Casper could move about the hut on his own and Evan celebrated by taking the man in his mouth and sucking him down torturously slowly until Casper sighed and shuttered out his release and fell asleep with his fingers tangled in Evan’s hair. The rest of the week the storm came and went, and when the village was finally able to poke their heads out to calm skies, they found themselves buried. It would be a very long while before Evan and Casper found their way home again.
* * *
“I feel ridiculous.”
“Well you shouldn’t, I think I’ve come up with five new sins just from looking at you in that.”
Evan stood clad head to toe in soft tan buckskin, the breaches clinging to his muscular legs, the fringed tunic unlaced at the neck. On his feet were a pair of snug moccasins laced up to mid-calf, the only thing that held any adornment in the form of white beads along the borders. Casper wore a similar outfit, gifts from the tribe to replace their own clothes that were in no way suited to this weather. Waneek ducked into the hut then, two huge piles of fur in her hands that turned out to be buffalo skin coats. The men pulled them on. Their girth was immediately doubled and Waneek burst out laughing.
“You see?”
“Don’t listen to her, how do you feel?” Casper did his best not to laugh as well as Evan pouted.
“Warm.” He grumbled.
“You look like baby angry bear.” Waneek snickered and Casper burst out laughing.
“Evan that should be your Indian name!” He turned to Waneek, his eyes tearing with laughter, shaking with fits of it every time he looked at the fluffy, petulant Evan trying to cross his arms in irritation but unable to do so in the coat. “How do you say that?”
“Don’t you dare, don’t tell him that!” Evan lunged at Casper and tried to cover his ears. “Give me a warrior name like Deadly Hawk of Justice!” This just made Casper laugh harder, bent completely double and unable to speak.
“What is justice?”
“It’s…you know…when you try to make things right,” Evan fumbled. “Make it so’s things are the way they’re supposed to be.”
Casper’s laughter had faded out but his eyes still sparkled as he looked at Evan. “How do you tell someone you love them, in your language?” He asked the girl. “Konoronhkwa.” She supplied. “But it not like brother or friend. It is love forever.” Casper tested it out, felt it tap along the tip of his tongue, watching Evan as he said it. “That’s a mighty useful word,” Evan’s voice was huskier than usual. “Thank you.”
She left them then with Evan’s promise that he would help with repairs to the horse shelter later that day.
The heavy buffalo hides were removed, and the mood grew suddenly humid, Casper’s hands shaking.
“Evan, I’ve been thinking.”
“Wait, don’t…don’t say nothin’ yet. I been thinking too. ‘Bout us and-“
In three short steps he had Casper’s hands in his own. “Bobby’s got a friend, out towards Topeka, been askin’ around to see if there’s any takers on his 300 acre cattle ranch he got out there, wants to sell the whole thing, don’t know how many head he’s got but Bobby assured me he was on the level.”
“Evan-“
“Cas I know you just lost Anna and all, I know it, but this thing ‘tween us ain’t gonna leave me and I don’t want to pretend anymore. Sammy been right, I can see Lisa and Ben cared for without….and I know you got your congregation an’ all to consider but….I’ll be out of the way if
you need to set your life back to right in Lawrence or you could….could….”
“Evan.” The only thing he can think to do to silence Evan is to kiss him as slowly and thoroughly as he can, slide his tongue into Evan’s mouth and lick out the words until the man is pulling him in and moaning. And only when he has Evan properly flush lipped and pliant does he pull back.
“I’m leaving the church.”
“What? No, you can’t do-“
“I can, Evan, and I will. And before you start in on how a man like you is undeserving of something like that, you can stow it, cause I’ve been thinkin’ on this for longer’n I’ve known you but I just been too much of a coward to see it through.”
The light that breaks over Evan’s face leaves Casper breathless. How was he allowed to be near someone this beautiful let alone be the one that made them this happy?
“So you could….would you want to stay with me? Supposin’ I can get things all worked out with
this ranch?”
Casper laughs, suddenly giddy. Two grown men in Indian garb, giggling like schoolboys, locked under a mountain of snow in the middle of nowhere and his life had never felt more alive at the prospect of freedom, real and true. It was utterly ridiculous and wonderful.
“I don’t know the first thing about raising cattle.”
“Oh, well in that case we’re gonna hafta find some other ways for you to earn your keep.”
Evan smiled wicked at him.
“So as the head of Parker Ranch, I should warn you that I’m mighty particular, I don’t take on just anybody. Gotta see if you’d have a place in my employ.”
Casper cocked
an amused eParkerhim. “That so? Well what is it yer lookin’ for in a cowboy Mr. Parker?”
Evan takes one of Casper’s hands in his own, running the pads of his thumbs over the smooth skin of his palm, never taking his eyes off Casper’s face.
“SeeParker? Ain’t got a callous on you, I’ll bet you never held a rope a day in yer life. Let’s see…” And he takes the whole of one of those long fingers in his mouth, sucking and curling his tongue around it before moving on to the others, tracing wetness on his lips and smiling at the look this puts on Casper’s face. “Shame to ruin hands this nice with work like that.”
“What- what should I do? I really do want this job Mr. Parker.”
“Well,” Evan tugs at the laces of his own breaches. “Only real use I got for hands that soft is takin’ care of this.” He took Casper by the wrist and pressed hisParker the impressive bulge straining to overcome the undone laces. “You know how to do work like that?” Casper can’t keep the smile off his face.
“I’m a real hard worker…could I show you?” His voice gone breathless as he gently squeezed until he got a throaty little noise he knew Evan hadn’t meant to make. It’s all the encouragement he needs. Casper tugged the laces wider, yanking the breaches open until Evan spills out, thick and heavy in Casper’s palm. He encircles the smooth, burning shaft, dragging his hand languidly up and down, a tease. With his other hand he gives Evan’s balls a firm tug, liking the way it gets the man to buck up into his hand. He twists around the head, quick and light. “Like this?”
“Yeah that’s…that’s real good.” Evan licks his lips, remembering his part. “But I got- ugh- got other things need taking care of.”
“What other things Mr. Parker?” Casper pulls the most wide-eyed innocent look he’s got and is rewarded with the dark pall of lust that drops over Evan’s features. He loves getting Evan riled up likeParkerit of the hunter in him bleeding through.
