“He approached you,” Thomasina said with wide eyes.
Anne nodded. “From everything Rook shared with me, I realize now that Maitland only wanted to use me to get to Harcourt. But at the time, it felt like he offered me a lifeline. He was charming and laughed at my jokes. After a short acquaintance, he seemed like the lesser evil when I thought of my future.”
Juliana shook her head. “The lesser evil isn’t a very romantic notion.”
“Neither is marrying someone you don’t want at all,” Anne said.
Thomasina shifted behind her and said, “Here, let me wash your hair.”
Anne glanced at her in surprise. The sisters had taken turns washing each other’s hair for as long as she could recall. But with everything that had happened, she wasn’t certain she would be accepted back so easily.
But of course she would. Because her sisters were kind and wonderful and as dear to her as her own breath. She had run, but never from them. And the fact that she hadn’t broken their precious bond entirely warmed her heart and her soul.
Thomasina began to lather her hair gently and Anne let out a happy sigh.
“So you ran,” Juliana said softly.
“I ran,” Anne repeated, refocusing on her story. “And as I said in the parlor, he almost immediately dumped me into Rook’s boat and life.” She half turned and looked at Thomasina. “And you were forced to marry Harcourt.”
Thomasina shook her head. “And it is the happiest I have ever been in my life. Anne, if you were silently screaming at Father not to pick you as Harcourt’s bride, I was screaming the opposite. From the first moment I laid eyes on him, I longed to be his. When he was made your fiancé, my heart broke, but I felt there was nothing to do.”
“You—you wanted him from the beginning?” Anne whispered. She was shocked at that response. Utterly shocked down to her very toes.
Juliana laughed. “You see, Thomasina, I told you that if Anne didn’t want him, she’d never be able to imagine someone else could. She never suspected your feelings.”
“I didn’t,” Anne agreed. “Thomasina, how terrible that must have been for you!”
“It was,” Thomasina said with a sigh. “I couldn’t disrupt your future and I had no inkling that he might feel the same for me. So I stood by, silent and cowardly, waiting for my heart to be broken when you two married. The night you asked me to take your place, I did it so that I could pretend, just for a moment, that he was mine. Your leaving set me free, it didn’t trap me. When Jasper demanded I marry him in your stead, I wasn’t upset—I was joyful. And when I realized he loved me as much as I loved him…that was the happiest day of my life.”
Anne shook her head. “I cannot believe I was so selfishly blind to your suffering. What kind of sister am I?”
“She hid it,” Juliana pointed out. “Now rinse your hair before you blind yourself with the soap.”
Anne slid down and dunked her head back, but she couldn’t stop thinking about all she’d ignored and pretended away. She sat up and squeezed the water from her hair as she twisted in the tub to look at Thomasina. “You truly love him. And you are happy.”
“They are delirious,” Juliana said before Thomasina could respond. “It is both heartening and horrifying to watch, I assure you.”
“Will he truly love you all your life, though?” Anne asked.
Thomasina smiled, and there was no doubt in her eyes. “He almost died for me. So I think yes.”
“Almost died for you?” Anne gasped.
“Ellis Maitland showed up here a few days ago,” Thomasina said with a shudder. “He believes we have something Jasper’s brother Solomon stole from him. I came upon him when he was searching and it got…intense. He is very desperate.”
Juliana shifted. “The gun did go off accidentally,” she offered softly.
“It still nearly killed my husband when it did,” Thomasina said, her spine straightening.
Anne got up and took the towel Juliana offered her. She wrapped it around herself with a shake of her head as she thought of Rook. He cared deeply for Ellis, despite how angry he was at his cousin. Ellis had saved his life. He would be devastated to see how far he’d fallen.
“Anne, is it possible your Mr. Maitland, this…this Rook is involved in Ellis Maitland’s schemes?” Juliana asked.
Anne pivoted to face her. “Never!” she burst out. “He left that life. Ellis convinced him to help this last time, but they haven’t had any contact for a long time.”
She realized how strong her tone had been when her sisters both drew back at it. Thomasina arched a brow. “You love him.”
Anne staggered at the words she had been avoiding saying, even just to herself. Now that they had been spoken, they hung in the air, a demon released from Pandora’s box. Worse than that, they were a truth she couldn’t deny.
She sank down on the closest chair and bent her head. “Yes,” she whispered. “I do love him. Even though it is impossible.”
Her sisters exchanged a glance. “Because he’s a criminal?” Thomasina asked, her eyebrows lifting.
“I told you, he isn’t!” Anne huffed, frustrated that her sisters couldn’t see the goodness that she knew resided in every fiber of Rook’s being.
Juliana worried her lip. “Perhaps he isn’t. Perhaps you are right about him, but how can we not worry knowing his affiliations? Knowing that he admitted he once involved himself in illicit endeavors?”
“You two spent a great deal of time together while you were missing,” Thomasina said, picking up where Juliana had left off before Anne could argue. “Could you be mistaking your feelings? I can imagine the intensity of being trapped together, of traveling together…of…of whatever else you two might have done together. That could make you believe you felt-”
“It isn’t a belief,” Anne said, running a hand through her wet hair. “It’s the truth. But if you fear me linking my future with him, you needn’t. It…it cannot be. No matter what I feel, it is…hopeless.”
Her shoulders rolled forward as the finality of that truth hit her in her gut. She would have preferred being struck physically in that moment.
“Why?” Thomasina whispered.
“Because we are from such different worlds,” Anne said with a sigh. “Although we might have…connected…he was stuck with me, he didn’t choose me. He wants to live on an island alone and I don’t even know how to clean a cast iron skillet or throw a knife.”
Her sisters exchanged a confused glance. Then Thomasina stepped forward and took her hands. “When you say connected, I assume you mean…sex. That you physically connected.”
Anne had meant more than that, but she nodded with a deep blush.
“He took you to bed?” Juliana gasped.
Anne and Thomasina pivoted at her loud voice. “Gracious, Juliana, don’t bring the house down,” Thomasina chuckled.
“To be fair, I did the taking,” Anne admitted. “He offered me a dozen reasons not to do it and seemingly as many opportunities to remain untouched. But in the end, I wanted him too much to deny what was between us. If I was already to be ruined by scandal in rumor, I thought I could at least enjoy it in truth.”
“I am the only one of my sisters to remain a virgin?” Juliana huffed.
Thomasina laughed and Anne managed a rusty one of her own at the quip, even though admitting she loved Rook gave her little pleasure. It only made their inevitable parting all the more painful.
“I don’t know about this person,” Thomasina said carefully. “Or his ultimate intentions, either on the road with you or here. I do fear them and it will take time for me to change my opinion. But I do have to say that I don’t think a man would allow a woman to drag him across Scotland in the rain if he didn’t care for her. Nor look at a woman the way he looked at you in the parlor today.”
Anne sucked in a breath at the very idea. But she couldn’t be foolish. Not when it came to this, not after every other reckless thing she’d done.
“I have no
doubt he cares for me,” she said. “But that doesn’t equal love, nor any desire to do anything but deal with the problem with his cousin and go home. I appreciate your support after all I’ve done to betray your trust, but in this, I know what is true.”
Thomasina opened her mouth as if to argue further, but Juliana stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on her forearm. “We will leave the subject closed for the moment,” Juliana said with a meaningful look for their sister. “Let us help you dress and ready yourself. Then we’ll go downstairs and figure this out. Together.”
Anne smiled as she got to her feet and tucked her towel tighter before she stepped into the open arms of her sisters. “I have missed you two so very much. And you are right, together we can work out anything.”
But as she reveled in the warmth of her sisters’ acceptance and love, she couldn’t help but have a sinking feeling. In the end her sisterly love couldn’t truly solve her problems.
And Rook was not hers to keep.
* * *
Rook stood in the middle of a chamber that was larger than his entire cottage on the island. It was decorated with a sophisticated flair, from the plain but expensive bedclothes to the artwork on its walls. When he stepped to the window, it looked over a magnificent garden and down a long pathway to a lake in the distance.
It was the home of a king. A queen. A place where Anne belonged. He certainly didn’t.
His conversation with the Lord Harcourt had been difficult, to say the least. He now knew the full extent of his cousin’s desperation. And if Ellis hadn’t been satisfied by the encounter on Harcourt’s estate a few days prior, he would surely come back.
Which meant Rook had to stay, as well. Perhaps he could help his cousin. Or at least protect those in his path.
He shook his head. Being here was going to be torture. Looking at Anne and never being able to touch her again was going to be torture. But it was better for her. So he had to be better for her too.
There was a knock on his door, and when he acknowledged it, the door opened to reveal a footman in Harcourt’s fine livery. “Excuse me, sir. Your presence has been requested for drinks before supper.”
Rook glanced at the fine clock on his mantel and shook his head. Christ, it was late in the day. Between the excitement of their arrival and the extremely long and uncomfortable conversation with Harcourt, he had lost track of time. “I will be right down.”
The footman nodded and backed from the room. Rook looked at himself in the mirror. He had changed from the day’s clothing, of course, and been offered a hot bath. But his current outfit wasn’t exactly befitting the kind of supper where one was invited to drinks beforehand.
But what was there to do? He smoothed the rough fabric of his jacket and exited the chamber. He went downstairs and stopped at the bottom. He’d forgotten to ask the location of these drinks and it was an enormous estate.
So he began to roam, trying to listen for the sounds of talking from any of the rooms.
The walk was even more evidence of how he didn’t belong here. There were dozens of parlors along the hallway, each more dazzling than the next. For a man who was suffering financially, Harcourt didn’t reveal it. And Rook wondered if Anne would one day regret not marrying as she’d been intended. Obviously, Harcourt and Thomasina were a better match, but certainly if Anne hadn’t run away, hadn’t ruined herself with him…she could have had someone just as important. More important.
And now she would only have memories of tiny inn bedrooms and him. Those same memories would sustain him, but would they haunt her in the end?
He heard voices at last and shook off the maudlin thoughts as he entered the last parlor on the left down the long hallway. As he stepped into the room, his gaze immediately moved to Anne. She was standing at the fireplace, staring into the flames. She turned as he entered, and his breath caught.
He’d spent weeks with this woman, captivated by her beauty. But today she was more than beautiful. She was exquisite in an evening gown of fine blue-green silk that matched the sea and made her eyes seem lighter. He hair had been done elaborately on the crown of her head, and tendrils teased around her cheeks as if to draw attention to her lovely face all the more.
The gown was elegant, with a brocading across the bodice that lifted her breasts slightly and gave him a mouthwatering vision of the curves he so adored and had worshipped over and over when they were alone. How he wanted to unwrap this gorgeous package before him and forget all the things that would keep them apart now. How he wished he could ride away with her and pretend like this world didn’t exist.
Her full lips parted as if she could read his mind, and she took a step toward him before the Earl of Harcourt scowled and cut her off.
“Maitland,” he said. “Good of you to join us. Will you have a drink?”
“Yes,” Rook managed past a dry throat. He took the drink when it was given to him and nodded to whatever it was Harcourt said. When the earl walked away, Rook felt compelled to move to Anne. Like a sailor to a siren on the rocks.
Only she would be the one destroyed if he did. So he shook his head and instead walked to the window. He tried to control his breathing as he stared into the gathering darkness, tried to get himself together.
But then she was at his elbow and he was lost in lemony-fresh scent and feather-light warmth as she touched his elbow and turned him toward her.
“Good evening,” she said, her cheeks going pink like she was shy despite all they’d done together. He supposed that made sense. Here, in this place, with these people, she was a different person to the one who had surrendered to a villain like him. He was seeing her for the first time.
“Miss Shelley,” he said, forcing his tone to be cool.
“Rook?” she murmured, her brow furrowing. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing, I’m just greeting you,” he said, turning away slightly as he downed half his drink in one swig. “It’s a fine night, isn’t it?”
Her lips pursed and her fingers folded into fists at her sides. “I suppose. Was Harcourt too hard on you earlier when you were left alone? I was worried.”
He flinched at her care. The care he certainly hadn’t earned. “You needn’t worry yourself about my well-being, I assure you. You should focus on your reunion with your sisters and your father.”
Anne glanced back. Her father was slouched on Harcourt’s couch with a drink dangling precariously from his fingertips. Not his first drink, it seemed, judging from the fact the man looked half sauced.
“My father doesn’t give a damn about me now that I have no bartering value,” she said, pain lacing her tone for a moment.
He so longed to take her hand. To hear more about that pain. To soothe it somehow. But he resisted, because it was not his place. It never had been—that was always an illusion.
“I’m sorry to hear you have troubles,” he said, forcing the coolness to remain in his tone. “But I’m sure you are looking forward to supper. You must have missed these grand meals.”
She leaned closer. “Why are you being so different?” she asked. “Why are you putting up some wall of propriety between us?”
He gritted his teeth. “Because I didn’t do it earlier when I should have, and now I must rectify that mistake.”
She took a long step back. “Mistake?” she repeated.
He nodded, even though he hadn’t meant that word to hit such a solid mark. He saw how it hurt her. He hated himself for it, even if it was for her own good. For his good. They had to start separating now.
It was imperative.
She inclined her head. “Excuse me, Mr. Maitland.”
“Miss Shelley,” he whispered as she walked away back to her sister. Juliana, he thought, since Thomasina was with her husband. She said something to Juliana and they looked at him together. Juliana glared daggers, but Anne’s eyes shimmered with wants and fears and pains.
This would not do. She was still too connected to him. Still too filled with whatever long
ing they had surrendered to on the road. He had to sever the contact at last. He had to find a way to make her not want him.
And he knew one way.
He cleared his throat. “I hate to break up the polite emptiness of this gathering,” he said, pushing aside the niceties he’d used as a shield with her. “But I think we need to speak about my cousin.”
Harcourt wrinkled his brow. “Did we not fully explore that issue earlier today?”
Rook lifted his chin as he met the man’s eyes evenly. “We did not. I withheld a key fact. Ellis was involved in the death of your brother, Lord Harcourt.”
He let his gaze slip to Anne. She had lost all the color to her cheeks as she stared at him.
“And I knew it from the very beginning.”
Chapter 18
Rook heard Anne’s short scream as Harcourt made his way across the room and swung his fist. He landed it square across Rook’s cheekbone, sending a shot of pain through his face and down his neck, momentarily making him see stars. Otherwise, he forced himself not to react, even though he could have flattened the earl with a flick of his wrist.
“I deserved that,” he said, and his gaze slipped to Anne. She had two hands over her mouth and her green eyes were wide and filled with tears. “It may be the only thing I have deserved in a long time.”
She flinched at that observation, made to remind her that he didn’t belong in her world. Not that she needed it.
She lowered her hands and marched toward the men. Thomasina had already reached her husband and pulled him away. Harcourt was still shouting something—it didn’t matter what, some slur Rook deserved—as Anne edged her way between them. Only this time she didn’t touch Rook. She seemed to do her best not to touch him.
“Tell me the truth,” she said, meeting his eyes. “Tell me all of it.”
The accusation was thick in her tone, the hurt. He hated it even though he had done this for this exact purpose. He needed her to hate him. It would make it easier in the end.
A Reckless Runaway Page 18
