I wasn’t convinced that would help heal his broken heart when he came around and realised that the love of his life had passed.
My heart ached for him.
Since Seth was now out of the picture for a fair few weeks, it was down to the rest of us to man his position behind the bar and tonight was my turn.
I’d arrived early for my shift to give Alfie a break and I’d gotten chatting to him and Harley, his husband – who’d come to pick him up – and a good job too. He was about dead on his feet from dancing all the previous night and then spending most of the day at the hospital, sitting with Seth, before arriving back for the early doors punters.
“Any change?” I asked.
Alfie yawned and shook his head, Harley sighed miserably, “No,” he said, “He’s out of danger now – and they’ve reduced his meds to wake him up but nothing’s happened yet.”
I frowned, “Is that normal?”
He shrugged, “I don’t know – I guess so. The doctors don’t seem to be too worried – and he was distraught before he lost consciousness. Maybe he subconsciously knows that life won’t ever be the same again now…” He trailed off and Alfie scrambled over the top of the bar to wrap him up in a comforting hug, “Baby,” he crooned, “Are you okay?”
Was I missing something? “Why?” I asked, “What’s happened to you?”
Alfie turned to me, his massive blue eyes full of sympathy and concern for his beloved Harley, “Harley and Roger were first on the scene – and of course,” he lowered his voice, “Joel.”
Now I was totally confused. “Joel?” I asked, “As in your younger brother?” I looked at Harley.
He rubbed his neck uncomfortably and nodded, “Christ,” he muttered, “Yeah – it was take your kid to work day – and Mum insisted that Joel needed to start figuring out his career options.” He rolled his eyes, “I told her it was a waste of time. All he wants to do is dance for a living. He’s got no interest in the force – but what the hell do I know?” He pulled a face.
I smiled at his indignation, “So what happened?” I asked.
He shook his head, “Well, Joel’s traumatised, obviously.”
I nodded. I could just imagine…
“He was already half in love with Seth anyway – now he’s totally obsessed. I can’t get him away from that damned hospital.”
Alfie rubbed his arm, “Well, maybe you shouldn’t be so hard on him.” He murmured, “The boy can’t help his feelings.”
Amen to that. I thought. I couldn’t help mine for Quentin – another completely futile venture if ever there was one. Hell, I didn’t know the first thing about him but I just couldn’t get him out of my mind.
I sighed, “Poor Joel.” I murmured, “Look after him – he’ll need your brotherly love and support through this.”
Harley raised an eyebrow, “Anything you want to share there, sport?” he asked.
I shook my head, grinning ruefully, “Nah.” I said. “I’m good.”
Thankfully he didn’t push me on it and they left for home, Harley had his arms around Alfie – pretty much holding him up on the way out as they leaned into each other. God. I wanted that sort of a relationship – one where my boyfriend was devoted to me and I was to him. One where we were completely and utterly in love with each other. Perfection.
It had been a couple of weeks since I’d driven Quentin home and I hadn’t seen him since – and I’d definitely been looking for him. Every time someone rounded the corner from the main entrance, I was reacting like a teenager with his first crush. The crushingly painful longing to see him again; the heart in the mouth moments until I’d established that it wasn’t him.
I looked up to greet the next customer only to find an older guy than the usual clientele. He wasn’t altogether unfamiliar but I couldn’t place his face. I smiled at him uncertainly, “Can I help you?”
“Is your name Thai, by any chance?” He asked politely.
I blinked. Fuck. I must have met him before… “Well, that would depend on who was asking,” I teased, smiling at him in what I hoped was a friendly manner that didn’t encourage anything more. There were guys you could smile at without them thinking you were an easy lay and then there were others that thought you were a rent boy. I was not into casual hook-ups – well, not anymore, anyway...
He didn’t smile back. “Are you involved with a young man by the name of Quentin?”
I frowned. What the hell did it have to do with him? “I’ve spoken to a guy called Quentin a couple of times,” I said, “And I took him home a few days ago when he needed help – but I couldn’t say that we were involved any more deeply than that…” I trailed off. What more was there to say? I fancied him and from that one small flirtatious conversation at Christmas, I thought he might feel the same way about me – but he was clearly not in a position to start anything with me and I wasn’t into sharing. It was a total non-starter and yet for some reason that I couldn’t actually fathom, I wasn’t ready to give up on him yet, either…
The guy nodded, “Well, that certainly coincides with his version of events.”
I frowned. His version of events? Had the poor kid been interrogated or something? Who the fuck were these people to Quentin? Time to find out… “If you don’t mind me asking – who the hell are you – and what’s with the interrogation?” I was aware that I was beginning to sound a little aggressive and given my height, I had to rein it in a little. I did not need for a client to make a complaint against me.
He chuckled, “My name is Simmons – Ken Simmons. I work for Arthur Delacour. I’m his personal assistant.” He held his hand out for me to shake.
Light dawned, “Oh, my God,” I murmured, as I took his hand and shook it. “You’re the butler, aren’t you?” But still, what the fuck was his problem? I was a grown man. I didn’t owe this guy any sort of explanation.
He chuckled again, “I look the part, I’ll admit – but no – and Arthur does have a butler, his name’s Harry – but he doesn’t have to walk around in a tailed coat and white gloves. Arthur might be old-fashioned in lots of ways but he’s not quite that antiquated! The night you saw me, I’d just arrived myself and I was still in my work suit. I happened to be the one who answered the door to Quentin because I was watching out for him.”
He was still talking about Arthur in the present tense – so he hadn’t died then, that was a relief – for Quentin at least… “He’s okay then?” I asked, “He’s recovered?”
Ken’s smile disappeared and a grave expression replaced it, “Not really, no. His stroke was quite a severe one and although he was seen to promptly, his health was already rather poor due to an earlier, ah, illness. The prognosis isn’t all that good, I’m afraid.”
I frowned. The poor guy – and poor Quentin. Clearly Arthur meant a lot to him. “I’m really sorry to hear that.” I said, “may I ask – how is Quentin bearing up?”
Ken shrugged, “Well.” He said, “He’s functioning. He’s still going to uni. I think he’s coping well enough – but he feels guilty for being out when it happened. And I also think he feels bad for having feelings for another man… Feelings for you, I believe.”
My heart spiked, “Me?” I asked incredulously, “B-but we don’t even know each other.”
Ken shook his head, “You might not know each other well, but I’ve a hunch that he’s had feelings for you for a while. He first saw you quite some time ago. He’s an artist, you know?”
I blinked. Quite some time ago? September wasn’t that long ago… “Uh, yeah – I seem to remember that he mentioned it.” Where the hell was Kenneth going with his conversation? My head was beginning to spin.
Ken nodded, “I recognised you from his paintings.”
My jaw dropped. His paintings? What the fuck? “He’s painted me?” I asked, feeling completely flabbergasted, “He’s that good that you recognised me?” That was incredible. Quentin had to be a very talented artist. What an amazing guy.
He smiled and nodded, “
Quentin’s very gifted.” He replied fondly, “But that’s not what I’m here for. Arthur has sent me to look for you – he would like to meet you.”
“Arthur wants to meet me?” My stomach clenched with something that felt suspiciously like fear, “Why?”
Ken smiled, “He just wants to know that he’s leaving Quentin in good hands.” He said, “Honestly, it’s really nothing to worry about.”
I nodded. Easy for him to say…
Getting to his feet, Kenneth stuck his hand out again, “I’ll be in touch soon.” He said, “It was nice to meet you and I can tell Arthur that Quentin has met a very nice young man.”
I blinked, taking his hand and shaking it again, feeling slightly dazed by the whole encounter. “Okay.” I said. “I’ll uh, I’ll see you then.”
I didn’t expect to see Quentin again for a while – but fate is a funny old thing and I ran into him – almost literally, the same night on the way home.
Chapter 3 – Thinking…
Quentin
I stumbled into the house, feeling embarrassed that I was dressed in my clubbing clothes. I’d got changed to go out at Franz’s place and wasn’t expecting to have to come home early. I usually let myself in when everyone was either already in bed – or gone home. I was dressed far differently to the way I usually looked, which was jeans and tee shirts. The skin-tight jeans and cropped top combo I had going on was making me feel like I was only half-dressed, and I could almost feel the judgement coming off Kenneth in waves as he ushered me into the house and closed the door behind – shutting Thai out of my life almost as soon as I’d met him. Still, I was more concerned with what had happened to my beloved Arthur, “What happened,” I demanded, “where is he?”
“He’s in the hospital,” Kenneth said, his face grave. He put his hands on my shoulders and peered at me closely, “listen to me Quentin,” he said, giving me a little shake, “it was a very serious stroke.”
I nodded, hopping from foot to foot in front of him, unable to keep still with all of the nervous energy coursing through me, “Okay,” I said, “But…”
“I’m so sorry, Quentin,” he added, “there’s nothing more they can do for him – I’m afraid they’ve told us that he has just a few weeks to live.”
I broke down, utterly heartbroken. Arthur had been the only person to ever show me any sort of real family life, any sort of love – if love was what he had shown me. I’d always craved more from him and felt that he’d always held something in reserve from me. But he was the closest thing I had to love and I never wanted it to end. “Can I see him?” I asked hoarsely, “Will he be awake?” Please don’t let him be unconscious. I have to tell him how I feel before it’s too late.
Kenneth nodded, “He’s conscious but you won’t be able to see him until tomorrow. He was asking after you as soon as he was able. And he uh, he wanted you to know that he’s had his will drawn up.”
My heart stuttered. Fuck. I was going to be homeless, wasn’t I? “Okay.” I said a little uncertainly. Where was this going?
Kenneth smiled, “Relax, Quentin,” he said, “Arthur adores you – do you really think he’d let anything happen to you?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know.” I whispered. I didn’t feel as if I knew anything anymore.
“He had his will drawn up when he was of sound body and mind and he’s leaving you with a very healthy sum of money.” Kenneth smiled sadly, “all on the understanding that you will continue with your studies and get your degree, of course.”
I nodded, “Of course.” I murmured my agreement. My mind was racing. Was I going to be able to stay in what I considered to be my home? What about the rest of his family? There was no way they’d let me stay in his mansion on my own. I jumped as Kenneth carried on talking.
“He also wants you to find your mother and make peace with her.”
I scowled… That was something I wasn’t really a fan of. There was no way on this earth I’d move back in with her and that cretin she married. I loved my mum, of course I did – but she’d backed the wrong horse – she should have protected me but instead she stood behind the mean and nasty boyfriend who threw me out. “I don’t know if I can do that.” I murmured.
Kenneth patted my shoulder, “Why don’t you sleep on it, eh?”
I nodded, “Okay.” I agreed, “Will you take me to see Arthur in the morning?”
He smiled and nodded again, “Of course.” He said. “Now get some sleep.”
I sighed and headed for the stairs. Kenneth called after me, “Other than my having to text you to tell you about Arthur, did you have a good night?”
I nodded and smiled, “Yeah.” I said, “It was pretty cool.”
*
The next few days passed in a total blur. I was at the hospital every day, sitting with Arthur for hours on end as he dozed. Whenever he was awake we’d make small-talk. Mostly it was just me and my own thoughts as he slept. In my mind I told him all sorts of things. I told him that he was a selfish old man to leave me behind. That we’d been together for four years and could have had an amazing four-year romance that I could cherish for the rest of my days. And in my mind, he would laugh and tell me not to be so childish. He would tell me that love didn’t just happen you know, and that he’d loved and lost the real love of his life and that he had nothing left to offer me… Of course, I had no idea if this was true or not, since it was all just inside my head – but it made me feel better – and worse – to go over all of these hypothetical arguments…
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I just about jumped out of my skin when the nurse came in to tell me it was time I got myself home. I looked up, startled. “Oh.” I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus on the clock on the wall. Yes, she was right. It was ten o’clock already. I’d been sat there for hours. Since it was a hospital, I was warm enough – God only knew how warm it was in there – but I was still as stiff as a board. I got up and stretched. I was starving too. I’d eaten nothing since breakfast…
I bent and kissed Arthur’s forehead, “I’ll be back in the morning.” I whispered.
He didn’t stir; he just carried on sleeping.
I got outside and breathed in the fresh air. It was really quite warm out here too for the time of year. I didn’t really need my jacket but I couldn’t be bothered to take it off. I started walking.
I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to just walk forever. Because home wasn’t really home anymore. Not now that Arthur wasn’t there.
He was stuck in the massive private hospital that was trying everything to keep him alive for a few more precious days.
What was I going to do without him?
I got to the bridge that spanned the river running through the city. My legs were aching and I was suddenly inexplicably tired. Maybe I could just sit and watch the river awhile…
I climbed up the wall and sat on the wide flat slabbed top. I peered over the edge. Fuck. It was a long way down. I shuddered. How many people had sat here before me just to ‘think’ before they did something else?
But I really was just sitting there to think – wasn’t I? Oh, God! What the fuck am I doing? I asked myself in horror. This isn't the answer! I scrambled to my feet and jumped back down, stumbling a little as I landed and taking another step into the road, just as a black Porsche happened to be passing. No way... It couldn’t be him...?
Horn blasting, a very loud screech of brakes and then a car door opened and slammed shut following by some very explicit swearing from a loud but very sexy voice.
I looked up. Thai, the guy from Studs who frequented my erotic dreams every night, was staring down at me in horror, no doubt terrified that he’d hit me – it had been a very near miss. I’d felt the whooshing rush of air as he’d passed me. He hadn’t hit me of course... I stared back up at him. It had been a couple of weeks since I’d seen him in real life – and holy fucking shit, he was even better than I remembered him – particularly when he was all fired up like this.
“W
hat the hell do you think you’re doing?” He yelled, looking all powerful and demanding and fucking awesomely sexy.
I looked up at him, suddenly utterly terrified that he’d see what I’d been thinking. He was so big in real life – so potent – and those dark eyes. I was in serious danger of drowning in the depths of those babies... “I...”
“I left Studs early because I had an awful feeling about you – and then I saw you up on the bridge from way back,” his voice was wobbling with some sort of emotion. Was it anger? Fear? I couldn’t work it out, “I drove like a fucking madman to get to you before you…” He visibly swallowed. Wow. He was really shaken up. “You were going to fucking jump, weren’t you?” He demanded.
I blinked, “No.” I shouted, “I wasn’t – honest I wasn’t – I’d just come here to, to... think.”
He frowned. He didn’t look convinced with my explanation but it was the truth. I was sure of it. The fact that my thoughts may well have been taking me down a rather dark route didn’t need to be mentioned.
“Come on.” He said decisively, taking my arm and steering me towards his awesome car, “I’m taking you home.”
Oh, God. No please. Not back to the big house… “Would you take me to your home? Please.” I said in a rush.
He stopped and swung me around gently to look at my face, “What did you say?”
“Please,” I repeated, my voice cracking, “home isn’t home without Arthur there… Please – can I come to yours? I won’t be any trouble, I promise.” Jeez. Could I sound any more like a needy child?
He frowned, “Do we need to let anyone know that you won’t be back? The butler or anyone?”
I shrugged, “I suppose Kenneth might worry.”
Thai nodded. Pulling his phone out, he scrolled through his contacts. Why the hell was Kenneth one of his contacts? “Kenneth? Thai – yeah, I’ve uh, I’ve got Quentin with me. I’ll bring him back in the morning. He’s a little upset.”
I gaped at him as he put his phone away, “How the hell do you know Kenneth?”
Thai- Troubled Page 2
