by Stan Kirby
“That’s right!” Eugene said with a gasp. “Because tomatoes are fruit!”
Eugene’s mom rolled her eyes. “I’ll make you guys a deal. We can get pizza, but you have to have apple slices too.”
“Deal!” Eugene blurted out, and raced to stand in line for pizza.
And that’s when he saw . . . HER! The flight attendant from check-in was standing in line right in front of Eugene’s family!
“Oh! Hello again!” she said to Eugene with a smile. “Where are you going on your summer vacation?”
“You’ll never get us to tell you! Never!” Eugene yelled.
“What my son means is that it’s a surprise,” Eugene’s mom cut in, with a slightly embarrassed laugh.
“You know what the best thing about surprises is?” the flight attendant asked Eugene. “It’s that you never know when they might happen.”
She winked at Eugene’s mom, grabbed the last slice of pepperoni pizza, and walked to the tables.
You never know when they might happen? What was that supposed to mean?
Eugene wondered about it as he watched the flight attendant eat the last slice of his favorite kind of pizza. And then it hit him like a candy-loving kid swinging at a birthday piñata.
She’s planning some type of surprise, thought Eugene. And I’ll bet it’s an evil surprise! That’s why she’s always being so nice. It’s so I don’t see her true evilness!
“I’ll be watching you,” Eugene whispered as he gave the flight attendant a cold stare.
Eugene didn’t think it was possible to ruin pizza. But the combination of the flight attendant taking the last pepperoni slice and Eugene realizing that she was an agent of evil did exactly that. It ruined his pizza.
Now at their gate, Eugene plopped into his seat in the waiting area and let out a big sigh.
Eugene understood how Super Dude felt when the Eye Scream Sunday used her evil eye to ruin Super Dude’s birthday cake in Super Dude No. 264. It was a good thing that the Banana Splitter was there to help Super Dude knock her all the way to Monday morning.
To take his mind off his super problems, Eugene dug into his suitcase and pulled out a Super Dude comic and the latest Rider Woofson book, Undercover in the Bow-Wow Club.
But before Eugene could finish the first page of his book, he heard . . .
THE VOICE.
“Welcome to Oceanside Airlines,” the crackly voice sounded over the loudspeaker. “I’m sorry to say that our three p.m. flight from gate thirty-one has been delayed. The new flight time is now four p.m. Thank you for choosing Oceanside Airlines.”
Eugene’s parents and everyone sitting next to them groaned in unison at hearing their flight would be delayed.
Delayed?! Eugene thought. He quickly searched the area to see who was making the announcement, and then he saw her, holding the microphone in her hand. It was . . .
The same flight attendant!
As the final puzzle piece fell into place, everything suddenly made sense. The flight attendant wasn’t really a flight attendant at all. She was . . . the evil Fun E. Racer, and she was there to ruin Eugene’s vacation!
First she’d laughed when the bag handler tried to take Eugene’s suitcase, then she’d taken the last slice of pepperoni pizza, and now she was making their plane leave one hour late!
It’s time to get Awesome!
Eugene grabbed his suitcase.
ZIP!
COSTUME!
HERO TIME!
Captain Awesome hid behind a large piece of luggage and scanned the area. He would have to act fast. If he didn’t, who knew how many vacations the Fun E. Racer would ruin! He needed an Awesome Plan of Goodness to counter her Rotten Plan of Badness.
The luggage he was hiding behind had wheels. Perfect! A woman with a poodle was sitting five chairs away. Double perfect! A man eating a hot dog sat next to her. Triple perfect!
Eugene considered his plan.
I’ll ride the luggage to the lady with the poodle and grab the dog, because, well, I might need one. Then I’ll backflip to the man with the hot dog and snag the leftover mustard packets. I’ll grab the hat off the guy across from the hot dog man—no, I’ll grab his shoe. No! I’ll grab his hat and his shoe!
I’ll put the hat on the poodle, then cartwheel to the open seat to grab the cushions to use as a shield.
After that, I’ll throw the shoe at the plant, knocking it over so the dirt spills into the walkway, which will distract everyone so I can launch the full awesomeness of my Captain Awesome Mustard Packet Poodle-in-a-Hat Attack!
It was go time! There wasn’t a moment to lose!
“Who wants sour gummy worms?” Eugene’s dad held out a bag of sour goodness.
“Sour gummy worms?!” Captain Awesome jumped from behind the suitcase and looked at the gooey, chewy rainbow-colored worms in his dad’s hand.
Well, maybe I have a little time, he thought. After all, I can’t save the world without some superhero fuel.
If there’s a more perfect food in the world than sour gummy worms, I sure can’t think of it, Captain Awesome thought as he sucked down his last worm. If only scientists could figure out a way to put them on pizza. . . .
Filled to the cape with superhero fuel, Captain Awesome was ready to tackle the forces of badness once more.
BUT WAIT!
The Fun E. Racer was gone!
Arrrrrrgh! I bet she used her Zero-Fun Brain-Control Laser to make my dad offer me gummy worms so I’d be distracted by their gummy yumminess and she could make her escape! Captain Awesome thought.
“Hello for a third time!” came a sudden voice from behind Captain Awesome.
Captain Awesome spun around and found himself cape-to-uniform with the villain herself: the Fun E. Racer!
Captain Awesome grabbed a seat cushion and squished it atop his head. “You won’t zap me with your Zero-Fun Brain-Control Laser! There’s no way you’re stopping anyone from going on vacation! Because I’m CAPTAIN AWESOME!”
Eugene struck a dramatic superhero pose—or at least a pose that was as dramatic as it could be with a seat cushion squished on his head.
“I’m not trying to stop anyone from going anywhere, Captain . . . um . . . Awesome, was it?” The flight attendant paused. “Remember that surprise I told you about at the pizza place? Well, I thought you might like to meet another captain.”
Captain Awesome’s eyes went wide. Another captain? Why would the Fun E. Racer want him to meet another captain? Was this “captain” her bad-guy sidekick? Had this captain come to steal all his sour gummy worms so he’d run out of superhero fuel?
“Nice to meet you, Captain Awesome,” a man who was also wearing a uniform said. But unlike the Fun E. Racer, he was wearing a hat. “I’m Captain Cool,” he continued.
“Captain Cool? Are . . . are you a superhero or an evil sidekick?” Captain Awesome lifted the seat cushion from his head.
“Um, neither, actually. I’m the captain of the airplane you’ll be flying on for your vacation.” Captain Cool motioned to a large airplane that was now sitting outside.
Captain Awesome’s mouth dropped open faster than Super Dude had dropped the Hater Tot’s Hot Potato Bomb in Super Dude No. 62.
“You’re the captain of an airplane? A REAL airplane? A big one? That really flies? In the air?” Captain Awesome gasped.
“Yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes,” Captain Cool replied. He dug into his pocket and handed Eugene a small pin. “This is for you. And make sure you come say hello to me once we’re in the air. I’ll show you around the pilot’s cabin.”
Captain Cool tipped his hat to Eugene’s mom and dad, then headed for the plane.
Eugene looked into his hands. There sat a pin shaped like a pair of wings. “Mi-teeeeeee,” Captain Awesome whispered.
“I’m glad you like it,” said the Fun E. Racer, who was actually just a flight attendant after all. “Oh! By the way, my name’s Sally.”
“That’s one of my best friend’s
names!” Captain Awesome cried excitedly.
“Then I’ve got a feeling we’re going to get along just fine,” Sally said.
Captain Awesome thought for a moment. Then he glanced up at Sally. “So you weren’t trying to stop us from going on vacation?” he asked.
“Of course not!” Sally laughed. “And I really think you’ll like where your parents are taking you.”
Captain Awesome plopped into the chair and looked once more at the pin in his hand. He had his wings. Now he just needed to fly!
CLICK!
With his Captain Awesome outfit neatly folded and tucked back into his suitcase, Eugene was now seated on the airplane. He clicked his seat belt into place.
Sally the flight attendant passed by and handed him extra packages of cookies and peanuts. Eugene thanked her and put his Super Dude comics into the seat pocket in front of him. He settled in, ready for his flight to . . .
“Wait . . . where are we going?” Eugene suddenly asked.
“To the best place ever!” Eugene’s dad answered. “Where’s the one place you’ve been asking to go ever since you started reading Super Dude comics?”
“To Super Dude’s Super Dude Satellite that’s orbiting Pluto?!” Eugene cried excitedly.
“To the best place ever on Earth,” Eugene’s mom said from the seat behind them.
“WAIT.” Eugene gasped. “Are we going to SUPER WORLD?!”
“You got it!” Eugene’s dad said. “Super World! Home to the Mega Bouncy House of Mega Bounciness . . . ,” began Eugene.
“And the No Gravity Blaster-tastic Roller Coaster,” said Eugene’s mom.
“Moooo gaaaaaa pooooooo bllllaaarrrrrrgh!” Molly added.
“And don’t forget the Super Dude Rocket Racers! And the Super Dude Dudercoaster! And the Super Dude-A-Whirl! And the Baron Von Broccoli Barfitorium! And the Loopinator! And the Dropinator! And the Spininator! And the Flying Leaping Jumpinator!”
“Don’t worry, we’ll ride them all,” Eugene’s dad said with a pat on Eugene’s shoulder.
Eugene sat back in his seat, flipped open a comic book, and smiled. No, he wasn’t smiling because Super Dude was about to deflate the Mega Mondo Balloon Blob and save the world. He was smiling because he knew this summer was going to be greater than great and better than the best! This summer was going to be . . .
MI-TEE!
About the Author and Illustrator
When STAN KIRBY was six years old, he tied a beach towel around his neck and became Super Commander Beach Boy. He tried his best to protect sand castles from the waves, keep seagulls away from his french fries, and keep the beach clean. When Stan’s not creating the awesome adventures of Captain Awesome, he loves reading comic books, eating okra, and hang gliding (but not at the same time).
GEORGE O’CONNOR’S cover—as a mild-mannered clerk in one of Gotham’s most beloved children’s bookstores—was completely blown when his first picture book, KAPOW!, exploded onto the scene. Forced to leave the bookselling world behind, he now spends even more time in his secret Brooklyn, New York, hideout—where he uses his amazing artistic powers to strike fear in the hearts of bad guys everywhere!
Little Simon
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
LITTLE SIMON
An imprint of Simon & Schuster Children’s Publishing Division • 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, New York 10020 • www.SimonandSchuster.com • First Little Simon hardcover edition May 2017 • Copyright © 2017 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. • All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. • LITTLE SIMON is a registered trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc., and associated colophon is a trademark of Simon & Schuster, Inc. • For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or [email protected]. • The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. • Designed by Jay Colvin. • The text of this book was set in Little Simon Gazette.
This book has been cataloged with the Library of Congress.
ISBN 978-1-4814-9442-7 (hc)
ISBN 978-1-4814-9441-0 (pbk)
ISBN 978-1-4814-9443-4 (eBook)
