by Emily Rodda
Bertha looked uncomfortable. ‘Ah – I’m afraid I don’t have any money just now,’ she said in a small voice.
‘No problem,’ Conker told her. ‘Everything can go on my account.’
‘An account!’ squealed Bertha, brightening up at once.
Conker eyed her warily. ‘You just leave everything to Dinah,’ he ordered. ‘She knows what we need. Just tell her there are five of us this time, for a three-day quest.’
Five of us?
‘No, Conker,’ Leo said quickly. ‘Not five. Three. Sorry – I thought you realised. Mimi and I can’t go to Hobnob.’
Conker’s mouth fell open in dismay. Bertha gave a wail of disappointment.
‘What are you talking about, Leo?’ Mimi demanded.
‘We agreed not to go anywhere,’ Leo said doggedly. ‘The plan was to see Conker, Freda and Bertha, keep safe in town …’
‘But that’s all changed now, hasn’t it?’ Mimi retorted. ‘Conker, Freda and Bertha are going away.’
‘Mimi, we decided –’ Leo began furiously.
‘I didn’t decide!’ Mimi snapped. ‘You did. You stay here if you want to. I’m going with the others.’
‘Leo, you have to come with us!’ Conker groaned. ‘The team’s missing Tye and Hal as it is! I was depending on you!’
‘If Leo won’t come, the quest is off,’ Freda said flatly. ‘We can’t leave him alone here. Hal’s orders.’ Conker made a strangled sound.
Bertha’s lips trembled. ‘It seems very unfair,’ she said in a high voice, ‘that after all I’ve been through, my new career should be blighted before it even begins! But if Leo insists on staying, I’ll stay with him. The rest of you can go and find the missing wizard and be hailed as heroes and earn lots of money and so on. I don’t mind.’
Leo felt dreadful. ‘I’m really sorry,’ he said miserably. ‘It’s just … we decided not to do anything dangerous this time.’
‘But this isn’t dangerous, Leo!’ Conker exclaimed. ‘Not dangerous dangerous. The Blue Queen isn’t involved in this. And even if she was, what could she do to us in Hobnob? Ever since she lost the Key and the Dark Time ended, she’s only been able to change people into things and enslave them and create monsters to tear them apart and so on, inside her castle!’
‘Are you sure?’ Leo asked doubtfully.
‘Oh, my lungs and kidneys, of course I’m sure!’ roared Conker. ‘Do you think I’d be standing here talking to you now if the queen could do anything about it? Oh, she can still disguise herself and go around poisoning folk or sending them to sleep for a hundred years – little things like that – by using some potion or other. But that’s all.’
Freda nodded. ‘You have to be inside her castle, right in the centre of her power, before she can do anything really bad to you,’ she agreed. ‘And she can’t make people go into her castle, even if she knows their names. They have to go there willingly or be brought there by someone else.’
‘The queen can’t use Leo’s or Bertha’s or my name to bewitch us any more anyway,’ Mimi said unexpectedly. ‘I fixed that with the Key before we left Rondo last time.’
Leo stared at her. So this is what she had meant when she’d said there was nothing for him to worry about! He told himself that he should be grateful … relieved … and he was, in a way. But it gave him a weird, uncomfortable feeling to think that Mimi had put a sort of spell on him – even a good spell – without saying a word to him about it.
‘Mimi, you promised Hal you wouldn’t use the Key for anything!’ scolded Bertha.
Mimi tossed her head. ‘When Hal had it, he used it to protect Tye and Conker and Freda and himself,’ she said. ‘I didn’t see why I couldn’t do the same thing for my friends.’
Leo felt a rush of warmth. It didn’t quite extinguish his sense of having been somehow invaded, or his fury with Mimi for refusing to support him about staying in town, but it helped.
‘There, you see, Leo?’ Conker wheedled. ‘All we have to do is take the usual precautions, and none of us has anything to fear.’
‘Oh, leave him alone, Conker,’ Freda said carelessly. ‘Let him stay here with Bertha. You, Mimi and I will manage all right on our own. Of course, it might get tricky if Spoiler is behind the Bing business, as Leo suspects, but that’s how it goes.’
She looked meaningfully at Conker, whose eyes suddenly widened with understanding. ‘Of course,’ Conker said with very false heartiness. ‘If we have to deal with Spoiler, we’ll do it.’ He heaved an exaggerated sigh. ‘Mind you, it won’t be easy – with just the three of us.’
Leo knew perfectly well what Freda and Conker were up to. They were just trying to lure him into joining the quest. Neither of them thought for a minute that the mysterious disappearance of Wizard Bing had anything to do with Spoiler.
The trouble was, nagging at the back of Leo’s mind was the suspicion that they were wrong.
Hadn’t Hal said to be on the watch for any odd happenings? Having lost the favour of the Blue Queen, wouldn’t Spoiler be attracted to the idea of a wizard whose magic might provide him with protection and an easy life? And wouldn’t it be just like Spoiler to do something wicked, then sit back and let someone else take the blame?
None of that is proof, Leo told himself. Rondo’s affecting you, like it did last time. You’ve just got a hunch, and you despise hunches! You don’t believe in them!
But what if Spoiler was in Hobnob? What if he had done something to Wizard Bing and the quest team could prove it? Then they’d be able to hand him over to Officer Begood. The people of Rondo would be safe from him for a while, at least.
And so would we, Leo thought. We’d be able to enjoy Rondo without looking over our shoulders all the time. We’d be safe.
It was a very tempting prospect. It made going to Hobnob seem almost like a duty. And that gave Leo the perfect excuse to do what he had really longed to do all along. He glanced at Mimi, who raised her eyebrows and grinned maliciously.
‘All right,’ he said. ‘You win. I’ll come.’
Bertha squealed with joy. Freda smirked.
‘Excellent!’ Conker said, rubbing his hands with great satisfaction. ‘And bear in mind that we’re not expecting you and Mimi to come for nothing, Leo. We’ll split the fee five ways.’
‘After deducting expenses,’ Freda put in.
‘Now, let’s get moving,’ Conker went on. ‘You and Mimi go first, Bertha. We’ll attract less attention if we don’t move in a bunch. Stay together, now. And watch out for Spoiler!’
Leo watched uneasily as Bertha and Mimi set off towards the crowded main road. He didn’t like the idea of splitting up. It was bad enough that the Key was no longer under his eye, without Mimi disappearing as well.
‘I think I’ll go with them,’ he said suddenly. He started forward, but Conker grabbed his arm and held him back.
‘No, Leo,’ Conker said. ‘I want Bertha and Mimi to have some time alone. A bit of girl talk might help, and Mimi’s a girl.’
‘What am I then?’ snapped Freda. ‘A bunch of water weed?’
‘You might be female, Freda, but, let’s face it, you couldn’t do proper girl talk if you were paid for it,’ said Conker, refusing to be bullied. ‘If Bertha told you her troubles you wouldn’t say, “I know, I know,” and “how awful, you poor thing,” and stuff like that. You’d just tell her to stop whining.’
Leo thought uneasily that Mimi might easily say exactly the same thing. In his opinion, Mimi Langlander and Freda the duck had a lot in common.
Mimi and Bertha reached the main road, turned right, and disappeared from view.
‘Our turn,’ Conker said briefly, and set off along the alley with Freda at his heels. Leo hurried to keep up.
‘Why does Bertha need to talk?’ he demanded. ‘What’s wrong with her?’
Conker sighed gustily. ‘I suppose she told you she came to town of her own accord,’ he said. ‘That’s what she told us. But it’s not true. Freda heard all about it from
this crow she knows who saw the whole thing.’
‘Marjorie,’ said Freda.
‘Marjorie,’ Conker agreed. ‘Well, it turns out that Macdonald got sick of all the reporters trampling over his fields night and day. He said Bertha was more trouble than she was worth, and gave her the sack.’
‘That’s terrible!’ Leo exclaimed, very shocked. He would have said more, but they had almost reached the main street, and at that moment Posy the flower-seller saw them and waved a brawny arm in greeting. Four of the blue butterflies dancing around Posy’s buckets of flowers rose into the air and fluttered purposefully away.
‘Gone to report,’ muttered Freda.
‘Well, it’s what we want, isn’t it?’ Leo said, trying to ignore the little chills running up and down his spine. He looked quickly to the right, but Bertha and Mimi had already vanished into the crowd.
Chapter 7
The prisoner
Conker led the way out to the street, turned left, and clicked his tongue in annoyance. A huge dappled grey horse was clip-clopping very slowly towards them, pulling a cart. With a start, Leo recognised the horse and cart he’d first seen at Innes-Trule, then watched slowly making its way south. It had finally reached the town.
The cart was piled high with old furniture, overflowing trunks of clothes and boxes of dusty household goods. It was so wide that it blocked the road almost completely. People in its way were jumping aside, flattening themselves against walls and stalls.
‘We’ll have to wait till it goes by,’ said Conker, ushering Leo back into the mouth of the alley. ‘Botheration!'
As the cart drew level with the alley, Leo saw that the words Winkle & Co. – Old Goods Bought & Sold were painted on its side. The cart’s driver was a tiny, bent man with a long white beard and very large ears. He was hunched over the reins and swaying slightly. His eyes were closed, his mouth was open, and he was snoring gently.
‘That Winkle fellow’s a menace,’ Conker fumed. ‘He shouldn’t be allowed on the road. Can’t stay awake for five minutes at a time. Where’s Begood when you need him? Off arresting perfectly innocent people, the big lummox!’
The cart trundled by with agonising slowness. The sleeping driver had developed a slight tilt to the left.
‘He’ll fall off in a minute,’ Freda said gleefully.
‘Wake up, Winkle, you dunderhead!’ Conker shouted, shaking his fist. The horse turned to look at him and snickered offensively, but the tiny driver snored on, his drooping moustache fluttering with every puff of breath.
‘We should talk to Winkle before we leave,’ said Leo urgently. ‘Spoiler was standing right behind that cart when I saw him in Innes-Trule. Maybe he was stealing a disguise from one of those trunks of clothes.’
‘Maybe,’ growled Conker. ‘But Winkle wouldn’t have a clue what was missing. He’s dead to the world most of the time. It’s a miracle he gets back to town with any goods at all. Right! He’s clear! Come on!’
He plunged into the crowd of people milling about in the wake of the cart. As Leo and Freda hurried to catch up with him, Leo looked around nervously. He couldn’t see anyone who looked like Spoiler, but that didn’t mean anything if Spoiler was in disguise. He worried briefly about Mimi, then told himself it was unnecessary. Spoiler wouldn’t risk attacking Mimi while she had Bertha for a bodyguard. Bertha in fighting mode would terrify anyone.
‘How could Macdonald sack Bertha?’ he wondered aloud. ‘She’s so good at her job.’
‘She’s only got herself to blame,’ Freda muttered.
‘That’s not fair!’ Leo said hotly. ‘It wasn’t Bertha’s fault that the reporters –’
‘Freda’s not talking about the reporters,’ Conker interrupted. ‘What she means is that, according to the crow –’
‘Marjorie,’ said Freda.
‘According to Marjorie,’ Conker continued, ‘Bertha made it easy for Macdonald to let her go. She told him to get a fox to control his dots, see, and he did. Well, you know what foxes are.’
‘Sly,’ said Freda darkly.
Conker nodded. ‘This one’s even called Sly, by all accounts,’ he said. ‘That should have put Bertha on her guard, but she didn’t suspect a thing. She showed him around, told him everything he wanted to know, and soon he started moving in on her job, sucking up to Macdonald, suggesting he could guard the farm just as well as Bertha could, acting all smarmy and polite …’
Freda made a vomiting noise. A beautiful, fragile-looking young woman who was drifting by glanced at her in horrified disgust and twitched her frothy, pale pink skirts aside.
‘Oh, go sit on a pea and bruise yourself, why don’t you?’ Freda said rudely.
The woman gasped, tossed her golden ringlets, steadied her tiara and hurried on.
‘I wish you wouldn’t insult princesses, Freda,’ Conker complained. ‘They’re all potential quest clients, you know.’
They passed Crumble the pie-seller, who was dealing with a long queue of people eager to buy his tasty-looking pies while dots skittered around his feet snatching up flakes of golden pastry.
‘Getting plenty of holiday business, I see, Crumble,’ Conker called. ‘Managing to palm off those old turnip and chilli mash pies on the tourists, are you?’
A few of Crumble’s customers looked quickly at the pies they’d just bought.
‘Nothing wrong with those pies,’ Crumble retorted. ‘The chilli preserves them, doesn’t it? And as for tourists, at least tourists can pay, which is more than I can say for some people. You wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through, the last couple of days. Pestered for free samples at every turn.’
‘Hah! You’ve never given a pie away in your life!’ jeered Freda.
‘And never will,’ said Crumble, slapping a scorched apple pie into a bag and pushing it towards the mild-looking woman at the head of the queue. ‘I’m not a public convenience. But some people won’t be told. Hanging about, all sad and big-eyed and dribbling – it’s a disgrace. You’d think Begood would do something about it, but oh, no. Begood’s too busy at the gaol with big-time criminals, isn’t he? He’s got no time to do the really important –’
Conker stiffened like a dog that had just caught the scent of a passing rabbit. ‘Are you saying that Begood’s back in town already?’ he demanded.
‘Oh, he’s back all right,’ Crumble said sourly. ‘But he’s too high and mighty for dribble control these days! From what I’ve heard, he’s questioning a prisoner he’s just brought in for murder of a wizard and resisting arrest and general rudeness and I don’t know what else!’
‘Tally ho!’ Conker yelled. He seized Leo’s arm and took off down the street, weaving recklessly through the crowd with Freda half-running, half-flying at his heels.
Familiar sights flashed past Leo’s eyes. Pop the balloon-seller. Spoony’s Coffee Shop. Brown’s Chocolates. The little shop without a name, its window covered by a thick grey curtain. Ahead there was adventure and a mystery to be solved. Panting, hot and jostled, Leo found himself grinning broadly. Suddenly he felt supremely happy.
The police station came into view. A lot of people had gathered outside it, and were peering through the windows.
‘Make way, if you please!’ ordered Conker, barging through the crowd with Leo in tow and Freda complaining bitterly behind him. ‘Official quest team! Make way!’
He reached the police station door, threw it open and strode inside.
The police station office was very cosy. A fire crackled merrily. A teapot swaddled in a knitted cover was keeping warm on the hearth. A vase of flowers stood on Officer Begood’s battered desk. The only things that made the place look like a police station were the official-looking posters stuck to the back wall, where there was also a door that bore a sign reading: GAOL. AUTHORISED VISITORS ONLY. PLEASE MIND YOUR STEP.
Officer Begood was sitting by the fire in a comfortable armchair, drinking tea. His feet were snugly encased in tartan slippers. He hastily tucked them under the chair and raised
his eyebrows at the newcomers.
‘Greetings, Begood,’ Conker said importantly. ‘We are here to inform you that our quest team has been appointed by Mistress Clogg to investigate the disappearance of Wizard Bing and the wrongful arrest of her nephew.’
‘Mister Tact,’ Freda muttered.
Officer Begood’s cup clattered onto its saucer.
‘Before leaving for Hobnob, we naturally have to interview the prisoner,’ Conker went on. ‘When would be a convenient time for us to see him?’
‘Can’t be done, I’m afraid,’ Begood said, pursing his lips. ‘Simon Augustus Humble is not allowed visitors. He is a violent murderer, after all, and he’s having a real temper tantrum at the moment as well.’
Conker seemed to swell. ‘I insist on seeing my client!’ he roared. ‘I’m a registered quest hero and I’ve got my rights. The law’s the law!’
‘Don’t you talk to me about the law, Conker!’ Officer Begood said severely. ‘I know all about the law, and what I know is I’ve got a prisoner in here who’s guilty as sin and no slippery quester in the pay of the prisoner’s auntie is going to prove otherwise!’
Conker stepped forward menacingly, his hands on the handles of his dot-swatters. Officer Begood put down his cup and saucer, stood up, lifted his chin heroically and put up his fists like an old-time boxer. Freda gave a resigned quack and took aim at Begood’s ankle.
Leo knew he had to do something. Quickly he moved in front of Conker and faced Begood himself.
‘Sorry, Officer Begood,’ he said in the reasonable voice he’d usually found successful when dealing with furious teachers and his father in a bad mood. ‘We’re just trying to do our job. Simon’s aunt is sure that he’s innocent, you see.’
Begood smiled in an infuriatingly smug way, and shook his head again. ‘Of course he’s not innocent,’ he said. ‘He won’t talk. He hasn’t answered a single one of my questions. If that doesn’t prove he’s guilty, what does?’
‘He might be in shock,’ Leo suggested. ‘His aunt says he’s not himself.’
