by Evans, A. K.
Logan looked down at me and praised, “Proud of you, sidekick.”
“Thanks, Logan.”
When he looked to Cruz, he divulged, “I’m happy she’s found you. Thank you for being someone she can trust and depend on.”
Cruz gave Logan a nod before Luke added, “You know what I think of you. We’re cool and always will be as long as you continue to be what she needs you to be.”
“Appreciate it,” Cruz responded.
“I’m happy for you, Lexi,” Luke remarked, bringing his eyes to mine.
I grinned at him before he put his arm around my neck and pulled me in for a hug. Then, I was shuffled from him to Logan and, finally, Nikki. She whispered in my ear, “I’m happy for you, sis. Mostly because I know what I saw in there a little bit ago. He’s good for you, babe. Most importantly, he’s totally head-over-heels for you. Enjoy him and if you need anyone to talk to, you know you’ve got me.”
“Thanks, Nik.”
At that, Cruz and I walked to his truck, where he opened my door and let me in before rounding it and getting in on his side.
Once he was inside, he looked over at me and noted, “I’m proud of you, too.”
“Thank you for being here with me today, Cruz. I’m not sure I would have gotten through it as easily without you.”
Cruz didn’t say anything. He simply smiled at me and put the truck in reverse. I sat there staring at him as he backed the truck out of the driveway. When he reached the end and pulled out, I called, “Cruz?”
He stopped and looked over at me. “Yeah, Lex?”
“I was wondering if you still wanted me to see where you lived?”
“Absolutely.”
“Can we go there now?” I wondered, the intent clear in my voice.
He couldn’t miss the suggestive tone and confirmed, “Are you sure?”
I nodded with a smile on my face.
Cruz reached over the center console, cupped my jaw, and stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb as he searched my face. Then, he put the truck in drive and drove away.
We arrived at Cruz’s place not long after leaving my parents’ home. I wasn’t sure what I expected going to his house, but it certainly hadn’t been what I found. Knowing Cruz’s brothers, I guess I thought his home would have matched theirs. I’d known Zane for most of my life because of his relationship with Luke and the two of them snowboarding together. His house was magnificent. Obviously, I’d been to Levi’s house several times because of my meetings with Elle. Their home was stunning as well. While the style of each of their homes was completely different, there was one similarity. Both were huge.
Cruz’s home was not.
It wasn’t a shack, but it wasn’t anything like Zane’s or Levi’s.
“Wow,” I said absentmindedly as I took in the space. “This is not what I expected.”
Cruz came up behind me and worried, “I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.”
I turned to look at him and explained, “It’s not a bad thing. I guess I just assumed your house would be like your brothers’ homes.”
“They knew what they wanted,” he responded through a chuckle. “Zane and Levi had no issues buying homes they’d live in for the rest of their lives not knowing if the person they’d end up with would like the house. I’m not planning to stay here forever, but I think if I’m going to spend the kind of money Zane and Levi have on houses, I want to know that the woman I’m sharing it with likes it so we can make it ours together.”
That was a really good answer.
Looking around at his space, I shared, “Well, this is a great place to call home in the meantime. It’s super cozy.”
“Thanks,” he replied. “So, are we here so you can get the grand tour of my house?”
No way. Not at all. But I figured I’d tease him a bit.
“Well, yeah. What else did you think…oh, no. I’m sorry, Cruz. I didn’t mean to lead you on.”
His shoulders slumped and I could see the disappointment, but he so quickly recovered that I thought I made it up in my mind.
“You didn’t lead me on, Lex,” he began. “Come on, I’ll show you around.”
God, he was such a good man. I couldn’t help myself. He was so good at making sure I was taken care of that he was doing precisely what he told my family he would. He was putting my needs ahead of anything he wanted. What he failed to realize was that I needed more.
I let out a laugh and he stopped in his tracks.
“What’s so funny?” he asked.
“I love that you always take me at face value,” I chortled. “While I’m interested to see your house, Cruz, that’s not the real reason I wanted to come here.”
A grin formed on his face as he stepped back toward me and snaked an arm around my waist. He pulled me into his body, buried his face in my neck, and kissed me. His lips moved up my neck to my ear. After pulling my ear lobe between his teeth and letting it go, his voice was low when he said, “You’re such a smartass, Lexi. But you should know that it’s one of the things I love most about you.”
My breath hitched in my throat. I turned my head to the side and captured his mouth. Cruz’s arm around my waist tightened as the other hand cupped the back of my head. We kissed. It was different than it had ever been.
Desperate.
Hungry.
I pulled back a bit and begged, “Show me your bedroom, Cruz. Please.”
A deep growl escaped as he lifted me up, keeping one arm around my back and the other at my ass. I wrapped my legs around his waist and took his mouth again as he moved through his house. It was a matter of seconds before he lowered me to my back.
I was in Cruz’s bed.
His mouth left mine and traveled down my throat. My hands were grabbing at the back of his shirt trying to slide it up so I could take it off his body. He lifted his torso just enough to pull the shirt over his head.
“You’re beautiful,” I breathed. “Everything about you is beautiful.”
His face warmed as his hands went to the hem of my shirt. He didn’t remove it, though. His eyes came to mine and they were silently questioning me.
“Take it off,” I encouraged him.
Cruz took it off and lowered himself over me again. He pressed a kiss just off to the left of the center of my chest, right over my heart. He did this slow and deliberate. After taking his time kissing my heart, Cruz rolled to his back, taking me with him.
My legs fell over the sides of his hips and straddled him. Sitting up, I felt his arousal underneath me and moved my hands behind me to the clasp of my bra. After unhooking it, I slid the straps down my arms. Cruz couldn’t peel his eyes from me.
I tossed my bra to the side and felt Cruz’s hand cupping my breasts. His thumb swiped over my nipple, shooting a jolt of pleasure straight between my legs. As the wetness pooled there, my head dropped back and I rocked my hips over him. I gave in to the pleasure and just allowed myself to feel for a while.
Cruz moved, lifting his torso and scooting himself back against the headboard as he kept me firmly planted in his lap. His eyes held mine briefly before they dropped to my chest. Holding my breasts in his palms, he kissed between them before moving to one side and sucking my nipple into his mouth.
“Cruz,” I moaned, not caring that I sounded overly eager.
My hands were at his shoulders, his neck, and his hair. I couldn’t get enough. I wanted more.
No.
I needed more.
What he was doing was great, but I wanted so much more.
I moved my hands to his shoulders and pushed back. He felt it and immediately pulled his mouth from my body.
“Are you ok?” he worried.
I nodded and answered, “I’m perfect. But I want more, Cruz.”
He froze, but I kept moving. I put my hand to the waistband of my jeans. Just as I was about to open the button, I changed my mind.
“No,” I stated firmly, my hands now unmoving at my waist.
“I don’t want to stop,” I asserted.
Cruz gave me a confused look.
My hands went to his. As I lifted his hands from my thighs and moved them to the button at my jeans, I clarified, “I don’t want to stop, but I don’t want to do this on my own.”
Something changed in his face before he confirmed, “Are you sure this is what you want?”
I shook my head.
“Then I can’t do this, princess. As badly as I want to take that step with you, if you aren’t sure it’s what you want, we aren’t going to rush it.”
I brought my hands to either side of his neck and explained, “It’s not what I want. It’s what I need.”
He tensed again.
“Earlier today, you said that making sure I got what I needed came before anything you wanted. What I need now is to know that I have the power to make decisions over what happens to my body. A few nights ago, you made me feel more turned on than I’ve ever been. After you left that night, I couldn’t sleep thinking about how badly I wanted to feel good with you. But I gave myself something that night because I realized I wanted to be the first to give myself a good sexual experience after everything I’ve been through. So, I touched myself and I did it thinking of you. It was wonderful and beautiful.”
The muscle in Cruz’s jaw was working, but he stayed quiet.
“Now I want to share that experience with you. I need to know I can ask you to take the lead and guide me through this safely. I trust you to give me this, but I understand if the burden is too much.”
He dropped his gaze briefly and took a deep sigh before he gave me his eyes again. “Lexi, there isn’t much of anything I wouldn’t do for you. I think you know that. But I really think you should be in control the first time we take this step.”
“You don’t understand, Cruz,” I started. “I am in control. Because I’ve found a way to trust a man. A man who gave me a way to have the power. One word. I know I only need to say one word and you will stop. You’ll know just hearing that word that I’m not ok and you’ll do whatever you need to do to make sure that I feel safe. The only way I want to get this power back is by giving it up to someone I trust and knowing I can make it stop if I need it to. Beyond an emotional connection and physical attraction, I want a healthy, sexual relationship in my life. And I want that with you. Part of that means me knowing I’m sharing my body with you and trusting you to take care of it. It also means you trusting me to decide what I’m ready for. I’ll never know if I don’t try and I believe you’ll see me through regardless of what happens.”
Remaining silent, he held my eyes.
“You told my parents I was someone you were falling hard for,” I went on. “I wouldn’t take this step lightly. You should know, I’ve already fallen for you. And I like the way it feels in my heart and soul. Now I want to feel that love sharing my body with you.”
That’s when he moved.
Slowly, he rolled us in the bed until he was hovering over me. His fingers started at the side of my throat and worked their way down my body, caressing every inch of my skin. Every so often, he’d lower his head and press gentle kisses to my body. When his hands reached the waistband of my jeans, he didn’t hesitate this time. He opened the button and, bit by bit, pulled the zipper down. He pulled my jeans down my legs and removed them after removing my shoes. Then, he stared down at my nearly naked body. There was no denying the heat in his eyes. It made me feel strong, sexy, and desired.
“You’re gorgeous, Lexi. So unbelievably beautiful,” he rasped as he remained frozen on the spot.
I moved things along and brought my hands to the fabric resting at my hips. Sliding my fingers underneath, I began gliding my panties down my thighs. I got about halfway down before Cruz took over and removed them the rest of the way.
As his hand traced delicately over the skin on one of my thighs, I brushed one of my hands on the leg of his jeans.
“Will you take these off?” my voice was needy.
Cruz opened the fly of his pants before he stood and let them fall to the ground. He stood there in his boxer briefs, the evidence of his arousal straining against the black material. I reached my hand out to the side. Cruz took a step toward me. I put my hand on his solid thigh, slid my hand up, and stopped just before I got to his erection.
Looking up at him through hooded eyes, I shared, “I’d like to touch you.”
“Please do,” he urged.
So I did.
The moment my hand moved over the length of him, he groaned. It was low and deep and I loved hearing it. I continued for a bit, but eventually sat up in the bed and moved both hands to the waistband of his boxer briefs.
“Can I take them off?” I asked.
“Absolutely.”
I pulled them down his legs, freeing him, and learned this part of him was just as beautiful as the rest.
“Lex?” he called.
“Yeah?”
“I’d love to have a taste of you. Do you think you’d be alright with me putting my mouth between your legs?”
My insides tingled, the spot he wanted to put his mouth on quivering.
“Yes.”
He put a knee to the bed and bent at the waist to bring his head to mine. Cruz kissed my mouth, gently lowering my head to the pillow. His lips moved along my jaw, down my throat, across my breasts, and down my abdomen to my hip bones. He trailed kisses along the tops of my thighs and dipped toward the center, where my legs were pressed tight together.
His face was so close; I could barely contain my excitement.
He tenderly parted my thighs. As my knees fell to the sides and Cruz settled himself between them, his fingers trailed up my inner thighs. He never touched me there, though.
One second I was bursting with anticipation and the next I felt his mouth on me.
“Oh, God. Cruz,” I cried.
His tongue swiped through my wetness causing my hands to ball into fists. Cruz’s lips and tongue worked me relentlessly, each of my moans matched by growls and groans from him.
It didn’t take long for Cruz to bring to me to the brink of an orgasm. My breaths came quick and shallow.
He knew I was there.
His hands left my outer thighs, slid up to my hips, and finally reached out for my hands. The moment our fingers were interlaced, I squeezed tight and came apart. The feeling of pure satisfaction shooting through every square inch of my body, Cruz kept at me drawing it out.
And he held my hands throughout it, refusing to let go of me.
When I came down, Cruz turned his head to the side and kissed my thigh. One hand remained clamped to mine, but the other disconnected and came to my hip. His fingertips trailed lightly from my hip down to the spot his mouth had just been. As his fingers circled my already sensitive clit, he looked up at me.
“Are you ok?”
I nodded, loving that he was checking on me.
“Do you want to keep going?” he asked, his fingers applying a bit more pressure.
Seeing the look in his eyes and feeling everything he was doing with his hand had only increased my desire to be with him.
“Yes, Cruz. I want more.”
Keeping his eyes on mine, his fingers dropped lower. Slowly, he slid one finger inside. It was excruciatingly slow, but a glorious feeling. As much as I wanted to keep my focus on him, I couldn’t. The pleasure was too intense and my head fell back to the pillow.
“Oh,” I moaned loudly.
I felt him press a kiss to my thigh again before he ordered, “Look at me, princess.”
It took a bit of effort, but I lifted my head and looked down at him again. That’s when he pulled his finger back and pushed forward again. He was still moving slow.
“Does it feel good?” he wondered.
“Amazing,” I breathed. There was no way I could form a coherent sentence with a
ll that he was making me feel.
His smile grew and he picked up his pace. After working me with one finger for a few more strokes, he added a second. That was really nice. So nice, in fact, I was on the verge of another orgasm. He kept at me a bit before I called, “Cruz?”
“Yeah, Lex?”
“Will you stop?”
His eyes rounded in shock, but he immediately stopped and pulled his fingers from my body. I’m not sure how he did it so quickly, but his hand that had been connected to mine was no longer there. Instead, he’d moved up my body, settled himself next to me, and curled me into his arms.
He whispered through my hair into my ear, “I’m sorry, Lexi. Are you ok?”
Cruz had moved so quickly because his only concern was my well-being. Unfortunately, since he had done it so fast, he never gave me the opportunity to tell him why I wanted him to stop.
I pulled my head back from his body and looked up at him.
“Yes,” I started. “I didn’t want you to stop because something was wrong.”
My hand that was resting on his side began moving down his body. As it moved closer and closer to his cock, I explained, “I wanted you to stop because I was going to come.”
He looked confused.
“Isn’t that the point?” he questioned me.
I nodded, but went on to clarify, “I want to come again, Cruz, but I don’t want to do it with your fingers inside me.”
My hand wrapped around his hardened length and stroked before I continued, “I want to do it with this part of you inside me.”
“Are you sure?” he worried.
I continued to pump my fist around him as I nodded and answered, “Not a single doubt in my mind that it’s precisely what I want.”
He groaned.
“If that changes, you have to tell me.”
“I know,” I insisted.
Cruz dropped to his back and reached out to his bedside table. After rolling on the condom and turning back toward me, he informed me, “I’m nervous about this, Lexi.”
I understood his anxiety, but I hated that he was feeling this way. Framing his face in my hands, I admitted, “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any nerves. But I think it’s a good thing we’ve both got them. My nerves aren’t about uncertainty taking this step with you, though. And the fact that you feel some anxiety tells me that I’ve made the right choice with you. I know you want to make sure this is good for me. I don’t mean physically, either. I’m sure you have no doubts that you’ll make this good for my body, but you’re worried that my mind might not be prepared to handle it. I can’t make any promises, but knowing you care this much tells me it’s going to be ok no matter what happens.”
