by Stephens, L.
The last twenty-four hours flashed through her mind. First she was kicked out of Max’s house, then she was booted from the V.I.P. area by those fucking bitches, fucked in a dingy restroom by some asshole, forced to spend the night in a kid’s slide in a dirty public park and now, to top it all off, a decaying corpse stood fifteen feet away from her, ready to pounce.
“Please,” Jill whined. “I don’t want any trouble.”
On hearing her voice, Benjamin joined in and barked, and Zombie Wilson immediately swiveled his head to precisely where Jill was standing and started moving forward in her direction. She realized, as he stepped on what must have been his glasses, that he was blind as a bat without them, and she and her little captive had just given away their position. He gained speed as he stumbled forward, and Jill held Benjamin tight as she prepared for the worst. Benjamin’s high-pitched barks began to awaken hope inside her. They were like fresh Brazilian coffee beans, grinded and French-pressed to perfection. They sparked all of her neurons into action.
Benjamin stopped barking as he began sailing through the air on his way towards Zombie Wilson, and for the briefest of moments, Benjamin and Jill shared one last look deep into each other’s souls, but then she turned her head and she was running again. She didn’t look back. The fifteen-pound cash cow left her hands as easy as he came in to them, and she didn’t regret her actions or even shed a tear for little Benjamin. The decision to throw him and her heels at the oncoming zombie was truly a matter of life and death. The only regret she had right now, besides losing her favorite pair of Louboutins, was not staying with the hot army guy. Sure, his hands were a little too friendly, but he would have protected her and treated her like she needed to be treated.
CHAPTER 72: CHILDREN CROSSING
“It’s pretty comfy in here,” Jake said as he pushed back in his seat.
Jennings ignored him and kept scanning the road ahead. Not interested in the seat any longer, Jake reached over and started flicking the numerous switches that ran along the dashboard.
“What does this one do?” Jake asked as he flicked a switch.
Jennings grabbed him by the wrist before he was able to flick another one and gave Jake a “stop fucking with me” look.
“Finally, you’re going to acknowledge my existence,” Jake said as he grinned up at Jennings.
“What the fuck you want from me?” Jennings said throwing Jake’s arm back at him. “This isn’t a tour of celebrity homes, and this isn’t a fucking ride along! You obviously know what is going on out there. This isn’t the time for jokes.”
Jennings shook his head and returned to surveying the road ahead.
“Fair enough,” Jake said, leaning back in his chair. “So, where we going?”
“Where are we going?” Jennings repeated, looking at Jake. “We aren’t going anywhere. I’m going back to base. It’s up to you if you want to come as well. I’m happy to just drop you off here if that’s what you want.”
Jake rolled his eyes. He had come across guys like this before; it wasn’t that they were bad people, they were just jealous of his unrestricted life.
“Okay, pull up just over here, man,” Jake said, pointing at the nearest corner.
“What the fuck you talking about?” Jennings said coldly. “Just sit back and shut up.”
“I thought you said I could get out if I wanted,” Jake said snidely.
Jake knew he would never let him out. He knew the guy was all talk, but Jake just needed to fuck with him.
“Look, asshole,” Jennings said, turning to Jake. “When we get to base camp, you can do whatever the fuck you want. I won’t stop you. Until then—”
“Watch out!” Jake screamed, pointing forward.
Appearing suddenly in front of them were a woman and a child, sauntering out into the middle of the road.
“Fuck!” Jennings yelled.
It was too late. Jennings hit the brakes and swerved hard to the right, but he hit the woman leading her little duckling, and blood sprayed over the windshield. The turn of the steering wheel had been too hard, and the Humvee began to roll over. Gravity inside the car seemed to disappear, with guns, ammunition clips, water bottles, not to mention Jake and Jennings flying loose through the cabin. With a brutal thud the Humvee came back down to Earth, landing on its roof and sliding along the road for thirty feet.
“Goddamnit!” Jennings said as he righted himself.
“Nice parking job, buddy,” Jake said as he did the same.
“Shut the fuck up!” Jennings said as he kicked open his door.
“Don’t worry, I think it was one of those things,” Jake said. “In that brief moment before her brains splattered all over the windshield, she looked at me and snarled.”
“Well that’s reassuring,” Jennings said as he scrambled out. “You okay? Anything broken?”
“Oh, you really do care,” Jake said, opening his door. “I thought you had a soft spot for me.”
Jake began crawling out of the upside-down Humvee and found himself face to face with what seemed to be a five-year old girl. The child was missing an arm, but other than that superficial problem she seemed normal, if you count being a zombie normal, which you probably don’t. Her hair was still in a bow, and her dress was clean except for some blood-stains where the arm had been ripped off. She looked like one of those child stars or one of those child pageant entrants, and, knowing this city, she probably was.
“Well, hey there, cutie,” Jake said in a singsong voice. “You know you shouldn’t be playing in the street.”
Zombie Shirley Temple gurgled and lunged for Jake. He tried to scoot out of the way, but his feet had become entangled in the seat’s harness. All Jake could do was put his arm out and fend Zombie Shirley Temple off while he worked on getting himself free.
“A little help?” Jake called over his shoulder.
Jennings was nowhere to be seen, so Jake pushed Zombie Shirley Temple back as hard as he could, and she flew through the air, landing on her butt, a few feet away. The brief respite from her cute little attack gave Jake the time he needed to get his feet free of the harness but, like a true child star, Zombie Shirley Temple missed the spotlight and lunged at him again like Chucky from Child’s Play. Jake had seen this movie before and was able to catch the little princess, creating an arm’s length separation between them as she gnashed her teeth at him.
“This is why I fucking hate kids,” Jake said to himself.
“Okay, asshole, what are you whining about, now?” Jennings mocked as he came around the back of the overturned Humvee, holding an assault rifle.
“Shoot her!” Jake yelled to Jennings.
Jennings raised his rifle at the kid, putting his eye to the sight, and he tensed.
“What the fuck you waiting for, man?” Jake strained.
“It’s just a kid!” Jennings said, relaxing his stance and dropping the gun to his waist. “I can’t do it. It’s not right.”
Jake’s upper body strength was waning under the pressure of holding Zombie Shirley Temple in the air. Her face was getting closer to his, mere inches now, her little teeth biting the air, trying to snag a little morsel from his cheek.
“If you don’t do something,” Jake whined, “I’m going to throw this little fucker at your dick!”
Just when Jake thought all hope was lost, and he was about to suffer the indignity of being eaten alive by a pint-sized zombie child star, he saw a size fourteen combat boot whoosh past his face and into the head of Zombie Shirley Temple. She landed in a heap and just laid there, motionless. Poor, poor, little blue bird.
“You okay there, lady?” Jennings asked as he offered a hand to Jake.
Jake grabbed Jennings’ wrist and got to his feet, brushing off the dirt and glass he had accumulated in the accident.
“You’re not very good at this are you?” Jake said as he let go of Jennings’ wrist.
“Well, to be honest, the walking dead wasn’t covered in basic training,” Jennings said
as he returned to a defensive position, surveying the area for more assailants.
@KillingJake decided to team up with some Army dude. We are the original odd couple. He’s a hard-nosed military man and I’m the fucking loser hell bent on ruining his day. #WalterMatthau #BlueBird
CHAPTER 73: PLEASE RATE YOUR DRIVER
Once Jill felt she had put enough distance between her and Zombie Wilson and Benjamin, she eased her pace. She had been making much better time without the heels and small dog gripped tightly under her arm but she was still running aimlessly. As she passed an alley she betrayed herself by looking down it. She saw a female zombie feasting on one of her victims. The zombie looked up from her meal and let out a blood-curdling scream that rocked Jill to her core. There was no escape from this disaster, and she knew it. The zombie launched to her feet to give chase, and Jill’s mascara slid down her cheeks like a family on a flume ride holding their hands up in glee.
Screeching wheels brought Jill to a standstill. It seemed alien to her to see a normal moving car in what seemed like the end of the world. The front passenger side window eased down, revealing a woman leaning across the seat towards her. Jill stood there, staring into the distance as the zombie behind her gained ground. She hadn’t given up, but she just couldn’t process what was going on. It must be the Uber driver she ordered last night, Jill thought, trying to put two and two together to make five. There could be no other reason why this girl was trying to get her in the car.
“Get in!” the Uber driver said frantically, waving her hand to usher Jill in. “Come on!”
Jill’s autopilot kicked in, and like an out of body experience she witnessed herself quickly open the door and get in. The Uber driver floored it before Jill could even close the door, and the zombie smashed into the side of the SUV and bounced off it onto the ground.
“Are you okay?” the Uber driver asked as she focused on not crashing.
Jill looked around the car. To her shame there were other people in the car. She really was hitting the low point today; not only was she in an Uber, she was in an Uber Pool no less, cavorting with the common folk. There was some creepy bald guy, a fat mom and her little monster in the back seat, and Jill chose to ignore them all as she put her seatbelt on.
“Mommy, what’s wrong with her?” the little monster asked.
“Nothing, honey,” the fat mom said soothingly. “She’s just tired is all.”
Even though she felt like she was slumming it, she still lined up the hem of her dress perfectly with her knees and placed her handbag on her lap.
“You happy, now?” the creep said, leaning forward. “You picked up your stray, can you take me to my fucking office now.”
“Shut up, you asshole!” the Uber driver fired back. “I told you, we’re looking for Jake.”
“Your lover boy is long gone!” the creep said, pointing out towards the street ahead. “Anyway, even if we did find him, there isn’t any room for him now!”
“Well if I kick you out, there will be more than enough room!” the Uber driver said over her shoulder. “Now sit back!”
“Yeah, yeah,” the creep said dismissively as he sat back in his seat.
Jill didn’t know what was going on. She really was out of touch with regular everyday people. Uber Pool was some kind of other world where there were no rules and the passengers just bickered with the driver who in turn threatened to kick them out. Five beeps sounded, and Jill could see a flashing light on the driver side console. Even she knew that meant trouble.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” the Uber driver said, looking through the steering wheel at the console.
“What's wrong?” the fat mom said apprehensively.
“We’re out of gas!” the Uber driver said over her shoulder.
“Oh great,” Jill whispered to herself as she rolled her eyes.
She was going to get a refund from this, she definitely knew that, and maybe some credit too. This was the lowest of the low for her, and in the last ten hours she had been fucking low.
“How long you been driving like this?” the Uber driver asked like it wasn’t even her car.
“I don't know, like a day or so.” the fat mom said lowering her head in shame.
“I told you, mommy,” the little monster said whimsically.
“Yes, honey, I know you did,” the fat mom said.
“How far you think we can go below the E?” the Uber driver asked hopefully.
“I don’t know, it’s a rental,” the fat mom said. “I’m guessing thirty miles at least.”
“We have to find a gas station,” the Uber driver said, scanning the street. “We’re not going to get somewhere safe on fumes.”
“There is nowhere safe,” the fat mom said solemnly. “All the checkpoints are abandoned and blocked with trucks. There is no escape.”
“We can go to my office,” the creep chimed in calmly. “It's only a few blocks from here, I swear.”
Jill clutched her purse tighter. It seemed like they were in a bad area, and she didn’t trust any of these slum dogs.
“Okay, okay!” the Uber driver said reluctantly. “What's so special about your damn office?”
“It's the weekend. No one will be there. Plus it's got a rooftop, and we can get a good lay of the land,” the creep said like a real estate agent listing the pros and cons of a downtown condo. “The best part is, you could land a helicopter up there!”
“What does everyone else think?” the Uber driver asked, tilting her head back to the fat mom.
Jill didn’t care where they went as long as she got home eventually. She just wanted to shower and to have a look at Instagram, make sure she wasn’t missing out on some love.
“Okay, I guess that's our only option,” the Uber driver said softly. “How do we get there?”
“Take the next right!” the creep said excitedly. “We just got to go a mile.”
The frequency of raggedy people on the street increased as they headed towards the creep’s drop off point. They were all trying to do insurance scams, Jill guessed, by the amount they tried to jump in front of the car.
“I thought it was only a mile away,” the Uber driver said into the rearview mirror.
“We’re almost there, just take this corner!” the creep said emphatically.
“I hope you know what you are doing,” the Uber driver said, looking over her shoulder at him. “I’m going to kick your ass if this turns out to be anything creep…”
Jill could see the black guy standing in the street, and she knew the dumb ass Uber driver hadn’t seen him; she was too busy focusing on the creep in the back seat, hoping to get a tip or his phone number. He was getting closer and closer, and Jill had to speak up. She just wanted to go home. Having to deal with the cops was definitely not what she wanted to do today.
“Watch out!” Jill screamed.
CHAPTER 74: ROAD BLOCK
He stood there, muscles flexing, with an assault rifle firmly gripped in his hands. It felt like he had been running all day, but the truth was it had only been an hour or two. Even though he operated in a very gray area of society, everything he had done today had been out of character. Generally, he robbed, stood over or hurt people who moved in the same circles as him, so he didn’t feel bad about it, but here was, well and truly out of pocket, pointing an assault rifle at what looked to be a family in an SUV. Daryl put on his mean face, his prison face, and hoped the gun combined with his imposing figure and his angry demeanor were all he needed to bring home the point.
Daryl had lost the zombies from the park easily, but the further he ran the more zombies he came across. It didn’t matter which way he went, there they were. He felt like he was surrounded, boxed in to the city with no escape. Calls and messages from Jake had been missed, and when he replied they went unanswered. They were playing an epic game of phone tag right in the middle of the zombie apocalypse. He kicked himself for being such a tight ass with his choice of burner phone. There was no internet cap
ability as far as he could tell, so he couldn’t access his contacts and call someone else to come and help or preferably save him.
He had sensed early on the bullets left in his handgun would be more valuable than gold and had decided to tuck the gun away and use it only in emergencies. With his gun tucked away, he started his trek through the city with a metal bar that he had found, but he didn’t go looking for trouble. He tried to evade as many as he could, only using the bar when he had to. That strategy changed quickly when he struck the mother lode of found objects, when he happened upon two dead army guys next to a pile of zombies. The haul consisted of two handguns and two assault rifles, but Daryl knew he couldn’t move with all that weaponry, so he removed the magazine from one of the handguns and put it in his pocket, securing the other one in his waistband with the handgun he brought to the party. Embarrassingly, for the life of him, he couldn’t work out how to take the magazine out of the assault rifles, so reluctantly he left one there for some other schmo to use. He tore a piece of shirt from one of the dead army guys that wasn’t covered in blood and fashioned a strap for the rifle he did take so he could move better and use the handguns unencumbered. Daryl wasn’t religious, but before he left he said a silent prayer for the army guys. He thought it was the least he could do given the circumstances.
He felt like a god as he strutted through the city, strapped to the hilt with a license to kill. Instead of hiding in the shadows like he had been doing, he began a full-frontal assault on the zombies he came across, and foolishly he blew through most of his inventory in no time at all. He had spent almost an entire clip of one of the handguns before he had worked out headshots were the only option that took them down for good, and he was pissed at himself for not figuring it out earlier. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t seen any zombie moviess. He just refused to believe that what was going on.
He tried to head south towards his home, but hordes of zombies blocked his every turn in that direction. Attempts to go west were also blocked, but this time by police and army. Surrendering seemed like a good idea, but being a black man and holding ten thousand dollars cash plus an assault rifle didn’t really make him too enthusiastic about it. Every scenario that he played through his head resulted in him being shot or arrested or arrested and shot. He figured he just needed to get out of the city in one piece, preferably by car or two feet and a heartbeat; it didn’t matter which just as long as it was under his own steam.
