by D. Levesque
The old man simply nods at me. “Fair question. I guess I should have introduced myself first, but your case is special and my Angels brought it to my attention as they were unsure how to handle it. Then I got distracted once I started reading your file,” he says, tapping the manila folder that’s still sitting on the table between us. “This doesn’t happen often,” the old man continues. “My name is God.”
“God?” I say incredulously, my tone making it quite clear that I think the old man is nuts.
“God, Allah, Holy one. Pick one,” God says, shrugging his shoulders. “I am the God of this world. Well, actually I am the God of this Universe and a couple more. Though I much prefer this world over all my other ones, as this was my first one. My Angels run most of the other worlds in my name,” God says with a smile.
“And I am just supposed to believe you’re God?” I ask him skeptically, a frown on my face.
He holds up his fingers and snaps them. Suddenly, I find myself floating in space looking down at the Earth, the old man next to me, but we are still in our chairs. Fuck, we are even still sitting on the porch. The only thing that’s changed is the location. I look down and see that the clouds are moving, and the shadow of the sun is moving across the Earth’s surface as it turns. Peering over to my left, I see something that makes me jerk in shock. It’s a satellite. A human-built satellite. The old man glances over and notices what I am looking at.
“Yes, you humans are cluttering up my world, but that’s all right. You haven’t left it yet, and I figure once you do, it will get cleaner. I am patient.” The old man who calls himself God snaps his fingers again, and we are back on Earth, next to the lake with the ducks.
Suddenly I feel myself start to shake, shocked not just at meeting God, but at knowing that I died. I bring my knees up to my chest. Fuck, what about my mom? I am about to say to myself, what about my friends, but I don’t have any friends. At all. I was pretty much a loner when I was alive. I lived in my mom’s house and didn’t or wasn’t doing anything with my life.
I worked at Joshua’s store to make money to pay for games and books to read. Hell, I was a twenty-six-year-old Otaku, as the Japanese would call them. I mean, I wasn’t much into anime or manga and didn’t keep tons of little tiny statues, but I was heavily into gaming, and I did read light novels.
“Alex?” God says to me softly. “I am truly sorry that your time came early. You were not fated to die until,” he picks up the manila folder, opening it and reading from a page before continuing, “you reached 72 years old.”
“Then what the hell happened?” I ask him, turning my head towards him. That is when I notice he is blurry. I lift my hand and realize I have tears in my eyes.
God sighs and puts the folder back down. “Chance. While I am omnipresent, there are times even I am blindsided by things. As God, I have control over what everyone does, most of the time. But it’s not a full one hundred percent and it seems that today you feel through that infinitesimally small crack and were somewhere you should not have been. You were supposed to call in sick and be home in bed. But looking over the files, I see the stomach bug that was supposed to hit you never did, and you ended up going in. Joshua, your boss, was supposed to work your shift.”
“So Joshua was supposed to die?” I ask him in horror. The man had a family! “How come? What did he do to deserve to die?”
“He didn’t do anything,” God says. “It’s just that everyone lives their lives the way they do. You were meant to be sick today and stay home. Joshua was meant to work your shift, and that robber was doing what he was meant to do, which included, as I am sure you surmised, panicking and shooting a weapon off. That old lady’s screaming was the catalyst to the shooting and it just so happened that you were there when you were not supposed to be, so instead of the gun pointing at Joshua, it was pointing-”
“At me,” I finish for him with a sigh of understanding.
“Exactly. So, now I have a problem,” he says again.
“What’s the problem? Can’t you just, I don’t know. You’re God. Snap your fingers like earlier and take me back to before I got shot?” I ask him.
Shaking his head with a sad smile, God says, “No. Even as God, I can’t break the time barrier. The scientists you have on Earth who talk about time travel being possible are missing so many variables to their equations it makes me laugh at times. But I have to give them kudos for trying. No. It’s not possible. But the issue is, while you haven’t done anything to get you sent to what you call Hell, you also haven’t done much to get you sent to Heaven. I can’t send you back since your body has a hole through its head,” he says sadly. “There is one choice I can give you, though,” he says slowly.
“What is it?” I ask, grabbing on to hope.
“You can take over Joshua’s life,” God says.
“What? Like a body-snatcher kind of thing?” I ask him, wincing.
“A what?” God says with a frown, but then his face clears up. “Ah, had to look up the reference. Not so much like that, but close. You would live your life out as Joshua. I would put your soul into his body, and his soul would go to wherever it is meant to go. You would have all his memories and live your life out until the age of 72.”
“What about my memories?” I ask him slowly, not sure I like this idea. Joshua has a family, and they aren’t mine. Can I live with his kids and his wife? I mean, his wife is hot, but she is a gold digger, and kids?
“You would keep them, but after a year they would disappear and you would fully become Joshua.”
“Yeah, not sure I like that idea,” I tell him with a grimace. “So I guess I go to whatever the Catholics call purgatory?” I say with a heavy sigh. Great, I wasn’t even religious when I was alive. My parents raised me as an atheist, and here I am, talking to fucking God.
God doesn’t answer me, but instead just stares at me intently. I mean, not like earlier where it made me lose my ability to talk, but hard enough to make me shift on my chair nervously. “What?” I ask him in a timid voice.
“There might be an alternative,” he says, sounding unsure.
“Alternative?” I ask him, now curious. “Like maybe I can go back as a baby?”
“No, that would be taking the body away from a new soul,” he says, shaking his head. “I am thinking more of putting you on another world of mine,” he says with a speculative look on his old face.
“What?” I ask him in shock.
Chapter Three
“What do you mean another world?” I ask God in confusion.
“Well, as I said, I have many worlds. Earth is just one of them. Each one is different and has different rules. Another thing your scientists don’t understand. As God, I can do what I want.”
“Except time travel,” I tell him with a raised eyebrow.
“Except time travel,” God says with a laugh. “I can even sweeten the pot for you in order to make your choice easier. As I read your file, I saw that you are into games and Fantasy books?”
I stare at God, trying to figure out what he is getting at, but his face is indecipherable. “Yes,” I say slowly. “Although honestly, now knowing that I am dead, I hate that I let my life waste away just playing games and reading books,” I finish with a defeated sigh. I mean, how the fuck was I supposed to know God was real and that I would die so young? At least I didn’t die a virgin. Not that I’d been having sex in the last year or so.
“Well, this world I can send you to has magic in it,” God says with a wink.
“What!?” I say, sitting up in my chair. “Actual magic? But wait. How would I go there? As a baby? Would I forget all about this world and be reborn there?” I ask him suspiciously.
“Nope. You would go as yourself, fully remembering your life here. You would just never be able to come back here. Ever. I would even make you powerful on that world, though with a caveat,” he says, his face again unreadable. The smile from before is gone.
Shit, what am I going to have to promise hi
m in order to go to a world where magic is real? My soul? I mean, doesn’t he already have that? Isn’t that what I am right now, just a soul?
“What’s the caveat?” I ask him, feeling like I am about to walk into a den of lions.
“Since you are going with your memories, you can’t go fuck up that world too much,” God says with a scowl.
“What? How the hell would I fuck it up?” I ask him in surprise. How the hell does he think I would change that world? I am a freaking 26-year-old dork who used to play games and read books. I worked in a convenience store. What does he expect me to do? Take over the world and cause an industrial revolution? Go around changing everything overnight?
“You Earthlings, compared to the beings on the world I am sending you to, are all about progress and change. If you are going to change my world at some point, have the decency to not be a dick about it,” God says, as if reading my mind.
“I can promise that. But I mean, I’m a geek. I know fantasy stuff. Ask me hard science questions and forget it. I mean, I can’t even build myself a fire with two sticks if I want to. I know the idea behind it, but that’s about it. I can promise you I am not out to change a world,” I vow to him wholeheartedly, holding my hand up in a Scout’s honor way.
“I guess I will never see you again?” I ask him. “Or this place?” I say, waving my hand around, meaning Earth, really, not so much this cottage on the lake.
Shaking his head, God says, “Unfortunately not. Though you will remember me. And Alex? Enjoy this new life I am giving you. And just so you know, the bible and all that was something I had only in this world. Each world is unique, and I did it that way for a reason. The world you are going to be sent to? They don’t have a bible as you know it here,” he says softly, with a smile that brings out the laugh lines on his face.
“So there is religion there?” I ask him, intrigued despite being nervous as hell. I mean, how will I survive in this world? “Oh, and is there any way I could get a weapon before I go to this world? Even a knife so I can defend myself?” I blurt out before he has a chance to answer my first question.
“Don’t worry, I will make sure you are good in that department. As for religion, all my worlds have some type of religion. This one I actually set up to have multiple deities.”
“There is more than one God like you?” I ask him in astonishment.
“Not really,” he says with a grin. “I just set up my Angels with power, and they act as the Gods. Though, I run the show. The world you are going to has five ‘Gods’. They are based on the five elements—Fire, Water, Earth, Air, and Mind. There really isn’t a religion per se. They just believe in that element as part of their world.”
Fuck, so magic there is based on the five elements? I wonder if I’ll be able to use magic there? I want to ask God, but I seriously don’t want to have him say something like, ‘Oh, right, you’re from Earth, I can’t give it to you. You would be too powerful, blah blah blah’ or something like that. I mean, he said I would have weapons when I go into the world. I guess I will need to get this fat body into better shape to be able to use them, I think with a sigh. But man, magic! I can’t wait to see it in action. As long as it’s not directed towards me, of course, I think with a chuckle.
“So, can you tell me anything else about this world?” I ask him, excited despite the fact that not that long ago I found out I was dead on Earth, with a bullet hole in my skull.
“Hmm,” God says with a distracted look, as if he is looking at something far away. “Well, the social mores are different. I will let you figure that one out on your own. Also, there are different races. That’s about it.”
“Nice,” I say. I guess it makes sense that there would be other races. I mean, look at my own world, Earth? We have so many people of different skin colors and backgrounds. I’ve never been sure of mine, as I am a mix of multiple races. I’m part Cree, French, Italian, and who knows what else. I mean, I’m from Boston!
“Are you ready?” God asks me.
“I think so? I mean, what can I expect?” I ask him.
“I can tell you that you won’t die, yet. Though remember, this journey means your timer is being reset. I can’t tell you when your time is up, though. Also, I am not putting you in the middle of a town. That would be too jarring to your senses, as it’s not like a city on Earth. But I promise you will have the tools to survive,” God says sagely, but also pretty fucking cryptically in my opinion.
“Thanks?” I tell him, unsure what he means by that last part. “So what do you do? Snap your fingers and I am there?” I ask him, curious to know how I will travel to this new world.
“What?” he says with a laugh. “Of course not. That’s no fun. We will do it this way,” he says before snapping his fingers. But instead of being transported to a new world, in front of us, just off the porch and between the lake and the cabin, is a black portal that is swirling with dark lights.
God gets up, and I get up with him. That’s when I notice that he is short. I mean, I am not tall at only five feet five, but he seems to be only five feet tall himself. Why would God be short? He must see my look because he laughs.
“I enjoy being short, is all,” he says with a grin.
“Like a gnome?” I tell him jokingly.
“Good people, gnomes,” he says with a grin. I honestly can’t tell if he is joking or what, but I laugh with him and agree.
“Now, one more thing,” he says when we get to the portal. “This is a one-way ticket—no coming back. And you can’t ask for my help. Ever. Because I won’t answer. If it’s your time to go, it’s your time to go. Got it?” he says, his voice now firm.
Swallowing hard, I say, “Yes. Got it.”
“Good,” he says with a firm nod. “But Alex, I promise this world won’t be hard for you. I am giving you the tools to make up for this fiasco. Go enjoy life, your new life, to its fullest. Few people get a second chance like this. Take it by the horns and don’t let go, all right?” God says, his voice softening some, and he puts a hand on my back and looks up at me.
“Yes, I will. I promise,” I tell him.
“Good,” he says, and with that, he pushes me towards the portal with more strength than I thought possible for someone so small. It’s more like he practically threw me. I slam into the portal’s black light, and that’s the last thing I remember before everything goes dark.
Waking up slowly, I realize I hurt all over. Fuck me, did I fall down the stairs again? The last time I did that I was twelve, but damn, it hurt. I even broke two ribs. However, it doesn’t feel like I broke anything this time. It just hurts all over. Turning over onto my back at the bottom of the stairs, I look up and get a shock. I am not at the bottom of the stairs. Instead, I am staring at the underside of a tree’s canopy and it’s nighttime, yet I can see pretty well. The moon must be out.
Then the memories from the meeting I had with God hit me, and I groan again, putting a hand over my eyes. That little fucker was strong. He threw me through the damn portal. Did I maybe enter it too fast, and instead of going through it I hit it, and then slid through after passing out from hitting it so hard? Fuck, it feels that way. I remove my arm from my eyes and look up at the trees. So, I am in a forest. I get up slowly, still unsteady on my feet, and try to take in my bearings. My legs and arms feel odd, though that might be because I just went through a portal to another world.
I look for a bag or something. I don’t see one. That fucker lied to me! There are no weapons here! “God fucking dammit,” I shout into the sky, hoping he hears me. “You fucking lied to me!”
“Though I guess I should be grateful I am not dead,” I say with a sigh as I calm down. Though, how the fuck am I supposed to survive now?
The clothes I am wearing are definitely not clothes from Earth, I can tell that much. I am wearing a pair of gray leather pants with gray boots, and even my shirt is gray leather, with a cloak attached to the back. What am I? The Gray Man? There are pockets in the pants, so I put my ha
nds in them, but they are empty.
I see a pouch tied to my leather belt, gray also, so I pull it open and reach in. My hand hits several pieces of metal, which jingle. I pull some of them out and see that they are coins of different colors—gold, silver, and copper. More coppers than either the gold or silver.
I add up what I just pulled out and I have nine coppers, one silver and one gold. Putting those coins in my other hand first, I reach into my bag again and bring out all the coins in my bag. Counting them, I see that I have twenty coppers, ten silver and just two gold. Is that a lot here? How would it relate to American money, I wonder? I reach into my bag yet again to see if there is a weapon in there, but no such luck. It’s just the money and a piece of lint. I put the coins and the lint back in as I sigh with frustration.
Then I hear it. Singing. It’s a very beautiful voice, but it’s singing in a language I can’t quite understand. It’s almost like it’s just beyond my reach to understand the words. I want to see who is singing, but first I take one more look around for any kind of weapon. Not seeing any, I head towards the voice.
Chapter Four
As I walk through the forest towards the voice, I am sure I sound like a bull going through a china shop. Whoever is singing must be able to hear me loud and clear. I might as well be shouting or banging pots. Actually I would take a pot right now, if I could use it as a weapon to defend myself. Even though there’s no way they can’t hear me, the person hasn’t stopped singing, though.
The wooded area I am in is damp with dew, and I am really unsure how I can see perfectly through the night like this. Walking in the dark back home usually sucked for me. I reach up to scratch the back of my neck and feel something odd, stopping me dead in my tracks. Hair. Long hair being held together by a band of leather. I slowly bring some of it forward, as it’s that fucking long, and see that it’s black – a midnight black. What in the fuck!?! The hair I had on Earth was more of a dark brown and very light and fine. I had expected to be bald by the time I hit my forties!
