by Bobbi G
very enlightening and wanted to pass along some of his knowledge from the final chapter. This chapter portrays a person who has no erroneous zones.
I’m paraphrasing, but Dyer states that a person completely devoid of all erroneous zones is unlike the majority of people who grace this planet. In other words, they don’t fit the mold per se. In fact, they probably broke the mold because they enjoy virtually everything about life by having the ability to be ‘alive’ in every moment. And that’s what living life is all about.
Besides, I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “It is what it is.” Well, since these zone-free folks truly enjoy living life they don’t moan about anything, big or small. No raining on their parade because if it’s raining, they go with it. If it’s hot, they’re cool about it. If it’s cold, they bask in the warmth of enjoying life. That’s certainly not wasting any time wishing things were different or complaining about what is. They simply enjoy…and understand…life.
They are neither plagued by guilt nor the anxiety that always accompanies it. Instead, they stay in the present moment and don’t use present moments to muse over past events; understanding that ‘bad feelings’ in the NOW lead to poor self-image. Therefore, they learned from the past, when it was the present. Then leave the experience where it belongs, in the past. We should all practice this on a regular basis or more often.
Also, hand-in-hand with guilt is its counterpart, worry. Zone-free people don’t worry and actually don’t know how to worry. It’s not that they are spending their life on cruise control; just the opposite. They don’t spend the present worrying about things or events in the future which they will never have any control over. To them, when the future finally gets here, it will be the ‘present’ and they will enjoy it just as they’ve enjoyed all present moments before.
Dr. Dyer also states that people free from erroneous zones “treasure their own freedom from expectations.” I’ve often said, “…expect nothing and you won’t be disappointed.” However, when you free yourself from placing expectations on others, whether realistic or unrealistic, you will gain the ability to respect an individual’s right to make their own decisions. You don’t have to agree with their choice, but it is theirs, and it frees you from expectations.
My favorite part of the chapter was reading that people without erroneous zones know how to laugh. And laugh they do because they find humor in most any situation. They also love to help others laugh and aren’t serious very often. Yes, grumpiness is foreign to them because they just don’t take life that seriously. Besides, they are fun to have around.
Emily Dickinson said, “The mere sense of living is joy enough.” And I’ve often said, “Take life by the horns and tickle the dickens out of it!” Enjoy virtually everything about life and be alive in every moment! Why not? It just might change your life for the better, and a better life is definitely worth living for.
Can you imagine….LIVING more moments of your life?
Garbage Free Living
Column #218, Published 9-9-10
How often do you take out the garbage? This reason I’ve asked is because I read an interesting story about a different kind of garbage. A man got in a taxi and started on his journey home after a long trip. Suddenly, a black car pulled out in front of the cab and the taxi driver slammed on the brakes, barely missing the car by inches. The driver of the black car leaned out the window and started shouting at the cab driver, who, in turn, just smiled and waved. And he was genuinely friendly.
When his passenger protested saying, “He just pulled out in front of you and almost caused an accident! How can you be so friendly?” In response the cab driver delivered a very important lesson. He explained to his irritated passenger that many people are like garbage trucks. Their daily lives are full of garbage in the form of frustration, anger, disappointment and regret. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it, which usually becomes anyone, or anything, they encounter.
He went on to say not to take it personally. Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on with your day. Leaving their garbage right where they dumped it, on the street, at the office, or wherever; just not on you. This is so true, because taking it personally collects their garbage into your life, making it your garbage; and opens the door of possibly spreading more garbage to others. Yet, how many of us do this already? How many of us drive our garbage truck like a symbol of insolence and dump on everyone’s day?
Unfortunately, we all know enough angry or frustrated people in our lives to realize how this story rings true. Some folks just don’t know how to let the little things roll away: traffic, grumpy people, or simply burnt toast in the morning. Trust me life is full of a million little things that aren’t worth carrying around like festering garbage. But some of us do.
And if you compound enough little things and become a chronic complainer; a person who isn’t happy no matter what is happening in their life. Regrettably, if you’re unfortunate enough to be within earshot of someone who’s ‘garbage-dumping’ grumbling is spreading like a bad stink on a hot summer day, you run the risk of picking up bits of their garbage and dumping on others. Yet, if your attitude is positive you won’t take it personally, instead, wishing them well and going on with your day.
And attitude is really the answer isn’t it? Happy, positive people don’t let garbage trucks take over their day. They refuse to ruin their day over burnt toast. Their attitude: just toast another piece of bread and enjoy my day. Isn’t that easier than collecting garbage? Of course, because happy people don’t complain. Don’t get me wrong, it’s possible to be happy yet disappointed about something. But you won’t see happy people filling up a garbage truck. On the contrary, they live garbage free lives.
Yet, the true heroes of garbage free living are people who have had, or are experiencing, a life-altering crisis and survive with their positive outlook on life intact. No anger, no regrets, and no dumping garbage on everyone, and everything. Instead, these people keep giving their all when the entire deck of cards come tumbling down around them. And they keep their passion for life alive, bringing comfort to themselves, and often others, by their sheer determination to enjoy each day the best way they know how.
Can we all live garbage free lives? Of course we can. Positive, optimistic attitudes repel garbage. Negative, pessimistic attitudes attracts garbage. The choice is yours.
Can you imagine…if the world was a “No Dumping” zone?
Thought for the Day
Column # 238, Published 1-27-11
Today, I woke up feeling very nostalgic and blissfully happy at the same time. Is that even possible? Well, possible or not I was feeling on top of the world so I went to the Y (after a extended absence due to a nagging cough) and reacquainted myself with my favorite workout equipment. Afterwards, it was time for the hot tub. Soaking in the pulsating warmth and daydreaming I opened my eyes and caught glimpse of a ladybug.
A smile lit up my face just knowing spring was on its way. In fact, by the time you’re reading this we’ll be close to 50 days away. My heart sang with joy as I realized the greatest season of all was soon upon us. Yes, the revival of Mother Nature’s most dazzling displays is drawing near. Soon plants and animals, which temporarily put their lives on pause, would be waking from their winter’s slumber.
Daydreaming again, I contemplated the seasons of our lives and it occurred to me that some of us have, or have had, our happiness on hold for one reason or another. Sadly, there are those among us who ramble through life never experiencing true joy. They live in a constant state of waiting; fearful, whatever they are waiting for will never come. Fortunately, the road to happiness is paved with our own thoughts. Yes, you can think yourself happy! Just keep telling yourself a positive and grateful story and you will increase your happiness. In contrast, repeating the ‘woe is me’ story will just perpetuate misery.
There is a saying, “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” Therefore, if
you’re not telling yourself how wonderful and happy your life is, guess what? You’ll get more unhappy and un-wonderful things happening in your life.
We’ve all heard the clichés “Think happy thoughts” and “You are what you think.” Feasibly thinking, filling your mind, heart and soul with thoughts which bring you happiness, (studies show) your life will become more joyful. In other words, choose your thoughts wisely and you can chart the course of your own happiness.
I wanted to share with you a few quotes I’ve collected which inspire me and keep me focused on the positive side of life. Marcus Aurelius said it best, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” This one is unfortunately anonymous but no less profound and one of my favorites. “The really happy man is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.” Figuratively speaking of course, can you still enjoy life when it throws you a curve? Or do you forget to go to your ‘happy place’ and succumb to the circumstances. Giving in to anger, hate, even revenge. Think about it.
Sir James Barrie said, “Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it
