by Lake, Alex
She was too on edge, a pit lodged in her stomach.
Nancy had not wanted to come. Even though they had been housebound for weeks and the heat in town was muggy and sticky and oppressive, and the beaches were finally open, Nancy had shaken her head when Carrie suggested going out to the ocean.
But you love the beach, Carrie said.
Not today, Nancy replied. Maybe tomorrow. Or next week.
Come on, Rob, her husband, said. It’ll be fun. I’ll buy you an ice cream.
I’m not a kid, Dad, Nancy said. You can’t bribe me with ice cream.
OK, Rob said. Then I’ll bribe you with something else. Cash? A new outfit? A pony?
Nancy laughed. A pony will do. You promise?
Cross my heart.
Then Nancy shook her head again. I think I’d still prefer not to go.
Carrie – and Rob – didn’t need to ask why. They had been dealing with why for months.
Look, Carrie said. Let’s try it. If you want to leave, we can. Any time you say. OK? We can’t stay in the house forever.
Nancy gave her a long look. OK, she said, finally. But if I want to leave, we go. Agreed?
It broke Carrie’s heart that her daughter found it necessary to make sure she had that agreement in place. But they would sort it out. After this summer Nancy would never have to go through this again.
She glanced at Rob. He was reading a book about the 1918 Flu Pandemic. It was the last thing she would have read; they were living through their own version now, which was plenty for her. That was Rob, though. He watched documentaries and read history books and thought fiction was pointless because it was all made up.
It had been obvious when he bought her a book of Pulitzer Prize-winning photographs for their first Valentine’s Day, so she couldn’t complain. She’d had plenty of warning.
She took the lid from her cooler and reached in for a can of seltzer.
‘You want one?’ she said to Rob.
‘Sure.’
She handed him a can. It hissed as he opened it.
‘I feel so bad for her,’ Carrie said. ‘I could feel how tense she was when we arrived, wondering whether they were here.’
‘Yeah,’ Rob said. ‘It’ll take her a while to get over it. At least we have a plan for a fresh start after this summer. And they leave her alone now. One good thing to come from lockdown.’
‘They’ were Laura, Andi and Dana. Worst of all, Dana. They had been friends since they were in kindergarten, but early in ninth grade something had changed. And it had changed for the worse.
There had always been something of an edge to Dana, a hint of cruelty, of taking pleasure in others’ discomfort, but Carrie had dismissed it. She wished she hadn’t – she wished she had never let them become friends at all – because, on the last day of school before the winter holiday, Nancy had come home and gone straight to her room.
Carrie went to talk to her.
Aren’t you supposed to be going to the movies?
Nancy was sitting on her bed, staring out of the window.
I’m not going.
Why not?
I’m just not.
What happened? Tell me?
Nancy shook her head. She looked, in that moment, like the baby she had once been.
You can tell me. I’m your mom.
It’s my friends. They don’t – the sobs started, long racking sobs that Carrie would hear plenty of over the coming months – they don’t like me any more.
Amidst the pain, there was a note of disbelief in her voice, as though she simply couldn’t understand what was happening.
How long has this been going on?
I don’t know. A few weeks. They’ve been doing things without me.
Carrie could hardly believe it herself. But they’re your friends! What have they been doing?
Meeting up. Going out. Chatting online. Dana showed me all the threads I’ve not been on.
Dana. Fucking Dana. Why would she do that?
I don’t know, Mom. But they don’t like me any more. Dana tells them not to.
But why?
Because of George.
Carrie’s head was spinning. Who’s George?
The new guy at school. She likes him, but he’s not interested in her. Me and him are friends, and she said I turned him against her, which is crazy because I don’t even like him, not in that way.
Then she needs to be a bit kinder, Carrie said. She needs to stop being mean.
Nancy gave a low laugh. She likes being mean, Mom.
At least it was the last day of the semester. Over the winter holiday Carrie had kept Nancy busy, hoping that when they got back to school it would blow over, but it had gotten worse.
Much worse.
Carrie had read about online bullying, but she had no idea how bad it could be. The things that were posted, the lies and rumours and insults, the sheer cruelty – she didn’t even want to think about them.
It had reached a head when Nancy had refused to go to school at all. When Carrie pushed, she showed her a photo.
It was a naked woman in an obscene pose, with Nancy’s head photoshopped onto the body. It looked very realistic, and, it turned out, many of her classmates thought it was her daughter – her then fourteen-year-old daughter. Nancy had received a barrage of messages from them, calling her a slut or a whore, others asking her for blowjobs or if she did threesomes, others simply taunting her with messages like You’ll always be porn girl or every town needs a bike for all the boys to ride.
Nancy had begged her parents not to say anything to anyone – You’ll just make it worse, she said, although Carrie didn’t know how it could be worse – but they had insisted. The school and the police had done what they could, which, since the photo had come from an anonymous account, was nothing other than talk to the pupils to try and scare them into leaving Nancy alone.
Which they did. She was cold-shouldered and excluded and sniggered at in the corridor. Dana did all the things bullies did: she stared at her for long periods of time, whispered when she passed by, burst out laughing if she saw her.
So Carrie was glad the Coronavirus had come, glad when school closed early, glad to have her daughter back in the house where she could try to repair the damage.
Because Nancy was shattered. Pale, thin, drawn, unable to take pleasure in anything.
But gradually she started to eat and laugh and read and recover something of who she had been.
Carrie and Rob had looked for houses in another school district. They were going to make a new start, get their daughter out of the hell she had been in.
They were going to move on.
But first there was the summer to get through. And today was a good start. Sun, sea air, exercise.
Carrie sipped her seltzer. Nancy was about a hundred yards away, ambling along the beach by a low cliff. She started to climb it. It was not all that high – maybe thirty feet – but the far side was a sheer drop onto an outcrop of jagged rocks, against which the waves crashed and pounded.
When she reached the top she paused and looked out over the ocean, then took a deep breath.
Yes, Carrie thought, breathe it in. Breathe in that strength and health and life.
And then Nancy started, like a deer that has heard a rifle shot. She looked over her shoulder and froze.
Nancy followed her gaze. And there she was.
Standing behind her on the cliff.
Dana.
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There’s a serial killer on the loose. And the victims all look like you …
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Acknowledgements
Warmest thanks to:
Becky Ritchie, as always, for all your advice and support.
Kathryn Cheshire: your editorial guidance and input all through the process was vital and full of insight.
Anne O’Brien, for a thoughtful and detailed copy edit. I am in awe of your skills.
TMCG, O, F and A: for everything.
About the Author
Alex Lake is a British novelist who was born in the North West of England. After Anna, the author’s first novel written under this pseudonym, was a No.1 bestselling ebook sensation and a top-ten Sunday Times bestseller. The author now lives in the North East of the US.
@AlexLakeAuthor
Also by Alex Lake
After Anna
Killing Kate
Copycat
The Last Lie
Seven Days
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