Cotton
by Sandra Pavlic
Copyright 2011 Sandra Pavlic
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“Don't resist!” shouted a horrible man, who was dragging me somewhere. He was white, with moustaches, brown hair about 40 years old. A real old man! I tried one more time to get out of his hands. All for nothing.
“Kate! I told you something!” he shouted one more time. Then they covered my eyes with black scarf. I felt they were dragging me somewhere. All of the sudden I heard a noise. They untied me. I found myself in ship's deck. I was free but couldn't go nowhere because I was already at sea. I walked to the back and I saw the coast was far away. Not one person stood there. Or maybe they weren't there in the first place. There were a few people on the ship. Black people. We were all black people. Mostly man, but some female as well. They were all looking at me feeling sorry for me. It looked like they knew where we they were going. What about me? Am I going there also? Why were they looking at me so strange? In the evening we get a very poor meal. For me it was OK, because I was eating only bread for a long time. Just to survive. Time on the ship was passing very slowly. It felt a month but it was only just a week. It was warm outside and I wanted to sleep on deck.
“Where are you going Kate?” asked a watcher.
“I want to sleep on the deck.”
“No you won't. You will sleep where others are.”
“But it's warm enough.”
“Obey and go back to the rest.”
“Okay.” I was upset but went back under the deck. There was a big room with wooden beds where people slept. I found my bed and went to sleep. I couldn’t sleep because it was hot like hell and they wouldn’t let me go upstairs. I closed my eyes and hoped everything’s going to be okay.
“Poor girl,” said a woman.
The next day I again tried to sleep on deck, but I couldn’t. I wanted to throw myself over board! I don’t want to sleep there! At night you hear everything – people talking in sleep, snoring, some people smell because they don’t wash up,… and with them I must sleep, I don’t even speak to them.
Someone got seasick. I think his name was Joe. It was raining outside, so everyone has to be downstairs. Joe started to throw up, coughing, sneezing, heating and he had a hallucinations. He looked to others and me. He looked me as he wanted to say “poor child.” Some people were beside him – probably the ones who knew him. The Captain told some people to clean the room and he personally examined Joe. After a week it was still raining. More than ever. Joe was feeing worse. He died that night. Some keepers came downstairs and lift Joe with his bed and throw him overboard. They said: “amen” and we repeated the word. Strange silence was that day. Everyone was mourning, even me who didn’t know Joe.
After a month we finally saw the land. I was excited but I was the only one. I thought the nightmare was over. But I was the only one who thought so. Again they were feeling sorry for me. I started questioning if hell is waiting for me?!
The ship landed and some people were waiting for it. First ten people went down. Few man came to them and dragging them. The rest of us were waiting. Another ten went down. At land there were no more people. The closed the entrance and said: “You will have to wait a little longer.”
We waited for few hours and the next ten people went down the ship. I was with them. They opened the door and pushed us. I was thrown to the man not so old. I wasn’t resisting because I knew it won’t help so I simply walked beside him. He drove me to some family.
“This is Kate. Your new maid.” said the man.
“But she’s just a child. She must be ten at the most.” said the lady who seem to be very nice.
“I am 11 years old.” I corrected her.
“Quite!” yelled a man who brought me.
“No, she can speak.” said the other man – probably husband of the nice lady. And then the man who brought me left.
“We’re Jane and Paul. We have two children, a boy and girl. Their names are Mary and Ray.” said the nice lady.
“Your job is to work on field and help around the kitchen. Understood?”
“Yes.” I replied. It doesn’t look that awful. Or I just thought so. So far they were nice. In the even I looked around where I have to be working. When I was walking on the road it seemed endless. It’s like space – it never ends! The field seemed abandoned. They probably didn’t cultivate it. I wondered what would be growing here. I went to bed early and other maid brought me something to eat.
“Watch out girl. Jane is nice but is under influence of her brother. And he is very tough! Better keep out of his work.” she warned me.
“And who is her brother?” I asked.
“The man who brought you here. His name is Jake. Careful around him. If you don’t do well he can kill you.” It gave me the creeps. I wondered what could I do so that he can murder me cold blooded – as the maid said. The next day they were waking me up very early to work on field. First I ate a piece of bread and then I went to the field. Jake expected me there.
“So Kate, they said your place is here. Today you plough up half a field.” said Jake and showed me the equipment I am working with. I started working. In the morning it was okay, but then it get really hot. I am used to that kin fog weather but not to work but sit in the shadows. It was unbearable. I was sweating everywhere – from forehead, armpit, legs, arms, nose, face,… I barely had the time to clean it up from the forehead. The time was almost midday and I wasn’t even in the middle of my middle of the field. Jake will be really unhappy! They called me for lunch.
“Yes, I’m coming.” I left everything and went to lunch. I quickly ate because I had a lot to do. I went back to the field and worked one or two hours in the night, but I finished my job. All tired I went to my room to wash up, but unfortunately Jake was there first.
“A little faster next time, don’t you think?” he scolded me.
“I’m sorry sir. I didn’t mean it…” I tried to apologize.
“Well, it was okay for first day. At least you accomplish your goal, right?”
“Yes, I suppose so.” I didn’t understand what he tried to say, because he was surprisingly nice. The next day I had to plough the rest of the field and then the seeding began. It was summer when first sprout came to day. By now I knew what to do. I must water each sprout separately everyday and nursing a neighbor’s baby.
It was a hot day. I worked on field when I heard noises from neighbors. I let go off the watering pipe and ran over there. It was the babies home alone and very hungry. I fed them and ran back to the field. Jake was there.
“What is this? Flood? Do you think water is free? Where have you been?” he yelled at me.
“I’m sorry sir. I heard noises…”
“Noises you say? I think so too yes. It will never happen again! You hear?”
“No, sir, never.”
It was only then that he noticed my suite. It was covered with milk.
“Do you steal?” he again shouted.
“Ne, it’s not what it looks like…” I tried to explain but he wouldn’t listen. He slapped me twice. Hard. It hurt a lot. I started to cry so he slapped me again – harder. He beat me until I stopped crying.
“Tears do not cut off your punishment.” he said and walked away.
I started crying again and some girl came to me.
“I watched you. Why do you cry
? Because of Jake?” I knocked.
“I know, my uncle is very mean to people. You’re the new maid, right?”
“Yes, I am. So what if I am?” I was a little angry. I started watering the rest of the field.
“You don’t have to be mean, you know.” said the girl.
“I know, I’m sorry. Please don’t tell Jake. Please.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t. I’m not like that. My name is Mary.”
“I know, you said that when you told me Jake is your uncle.”
“He was beating you up? He doesn’t like black people.”
“Yes, no one does. What about you? Why do you talk to me?”
“I love people in general. Nothing special.”
“Yes, of course.”
“Look it’s best to put tears behind you. They probably aren’t the first one, am I right?”
“No, of course not. I cried a thousand times before.”
“Come with me to my hiding place. I’ll clean you up and soothe your bruises.”
“I can’t. The neighbor’s babies are home alone.”
“Did you know that before? Probably not. So you’re free for one hour. Come quick.” said Mary. I followed her. I trusted her. She is same age as me, has brown hair, blue eyes and about the same height as me. We went to her hiding place. It’s an abandoned shack. She had a lot of staff there.
“When I’m very sad I come to this place.”
“Really? Do your parents agree with this?”
“They don’t know where I am. One time I was here for a week and they
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