by Peyton Banks
“Well,” Paula folded her arms across her chest, “I can see why she’d worry.”
“I don’t.”
The look Paula gave him was telling.
And could have stripped paint off his office wall if he’d just stepped to the side.
Turning around, Paula closed the door of his office and closed the blinds, leaving the rest of the office in the dark.
Noah wondered if he should sit down before she really laid into him.
“That’s right,” she gave him a pursed-lip stare, “we’re about to have a come-to-Paula moment. Ready?”
“No.” There was a moment when he considered making a run for it, but that wasn’t going to get him out of trouble, just into a whole lot more of it. “But let me have it.” He winced. “Not a good choice of words.”
She didn’t react at all, so either his humor was failing, or she just didn’t see the point. Paula certainly knew how to make one.
“I appreciate your commitment to keep the pressure off Sage since she’s been back, but if there’s one thing I do know, it’s if you don’t put the top on a pressure cooker, it doesn’t do its job.”
Paula certainly was the one who knew how to turn a phrase on his team. She made big intuitive leaps when they were planning marketing strategies, and he didn’t always get the references right away, but she’d never led them in the wrong direction.
“You’ve got to come clean, Noah. Rip the Band-aid off. Jump into the deep end. Got it?”
He felt the gears in his head turn, slowly, but they were turning. “I think so.”
The sigh she let out made him tense up, just a little.
“You work in marketing, Noah. What’s the first thing you learned about creating a successful campaign?”
It had to be a trick question. “Sell the product?”
Her eyes closed and she took in a deep breath, filling her lungs with air. When her eyes opened back up again, she spoke as if she was seriously questioning his mental acuity. “Communication with the customers. Get your message across. What message,” she gave him a pointed look, “do you need to get across to Sage? Before you go completely nuts, or I decide to bludgeon you over the head with my laptop, concentrate.”
“I know, Paula. I know I have to tell her how I feel, but I’m just not ready to do that.”
“Not ready? You’ve been in love with her for a while now. Anyone paying any attention to you and Sage sees it. That’s probably why Jules went over to your place today. She’s wondering why you two are still dancing around the issue, just like the rest of us.”
“I just don’t know if Sage feels the same way. I’m afraid to ruin what we have-”
“What exactly do you have, Noah?” Paula’s eyes were flashing with frustration. “You have a woman living in your apartment who thinks she’s your housemate and your friend. What else does she know? If you’re so sure of how you feel, then tell her. If you don’t and she makes up her mind to move out. Or she decides that she doesn’t matter that much to you… then what do you have left? You don’t work with her anymore.”
“I know. I know. I’m just crazy in love with her and the last thing I want to know is that she doesn’t feel the same way.”
Paula shook her head. “I doubt she’d be the first one to speak up, Noah. She moved back here, and you put her up. I bet you’re refusing to take any sort of rent, telling her that you’re trying to help her, so she has time to figure things out, but that’s just bull and you know it.”
She turned the doorknob and swung the door open.
“What are you waiting for?”
And that was the question, wasn’t it?
What the hell was he waiting for?
If she didn’t feel the same way, she’d say so. Then, they’d figure out what comes next.
Even if she didn’t return his feelings, they’d been friends for years. That wasn’t going to change. Things might be odd and awkward for a while, but weren’t they already awkward? He was holding part of himself back from her, and that’s probably why she felt nervous.
They had always been a little too in tune with each other, and even though she’d been away for months, they were falling right back into that same strange connection.
Having her close, in his space, meant everything to him, but he’d been the one who had kept things at arm’s length when it came to their relationship.
That was going to have to change if he had a hope of something more.
“I’ve got to go, Paula. I’ve got to… I’ve got to talk to Sage.”
Paula pressed her hands together as if she was praying. “Go forth and romance your woman, Noah.”
He was almost to the door when he heard her added words.
“Or I’m going to kick your butt.”
8
When Sage heard the door open, she started to stand up and then changed her mind, sitting back down on the couch. A few moments later, when Noah’s footsteps reached the landing, she changed her mind again and got up on her feet. How was she going to straighten everything out if she couldn’t even make up her mind to stand or sit?
His footsteps slowed when he caught sight of her. It helped that the look on his face turned to a smile as he did. “You look beautiful.”
That wasn’t what she expected to hear, but it was nice. Very nice.
And the look in his eyes made her feel like everything just might work out, but she’s wasn’t quite sure. Not yet.
There were just too many questions inside of her head.
Somehow, she managed to remember that she hadn’t said anything to him. “Sorry.” Her stomach twisted, low in her belly. “Thank you.”
He shook his head and stopped at the top of the stairs to set down his messenger bag and drop his keys on the little table. “I… I brought something home for dinner.
The timer in the kitchen went off and the two of them stood there, looking at each other for another moment before she started to move.
“Oh, sorry,” she heard him stammer a little and she felt the muscles between her shoulder blades pinch. “I thought it was my night-”
“No. I mean yes.” Sage tried to hit the button to turn off the timer and ended up knocking the thing over instead. Scrambling to right it again, she almost sent it careening over the other side of the counter. Laughing at herself, Sage sighed. “Sorry. Yes, it’s your night, I was just making some dessert.”
Finally getting a hand on the timer, she turned it off and grabbed her potholders from the counter with one hand and opened the oven door with the other.
“Is that bread pudding?”
She could feel him standing close behind her, smelled his cologne. Coupled with the heat from the oven before her, she felt suspended in time, enjoying some of her favorite things, all at once. “I thought you might enjoy it.”
As she set it on the heating pad, she felt Noah’s hand on her hip and heard the soft click of the oven door as he closed it and turned off the heat.
He didn’t move his hand away from her hip when he was done, and as she turned to face him, she moved slowly enough that his hand never lost contact with her body. When she looked up into his eyes and saw the way he was looking at her, it took her breath away.
“I wanted,” she began and pulled her lower lip between her teeth for a moment before she let it go, “I wanted to do something nice for you.”
His smile brightened and so did the look in his eyes. It wasn’t until that moment that she realized there had been worry in his eyes when she first saw him at the top of the stairs.
“Noah? Do you want to eat now, or can we talk about something first?”
He looked over his shoulder at the take-out bag he’d set on the counter and turned back to her. “I’m okay either way. Is everything okay?”
She smiled. Heaven help her, she smiled. When she was nervous, sometimes she smiled when she didn’t know what other expression to use. “Sure, sure,” she shrugged, “things are okay. Right?”
Sage kn
ew she was confusing him. After all, she was confusing herself.
“I don’t know,” he conceded. “Are they?”
“Sure,” she wasn’t lying to him. Things were okay.
But just okay.
“I just wanted to ask you… I wanted to ask,” it would be so much easier if he wasn’t standing there, his hand on her, his eyes focused on her face, “why did you offer to let me stay here?”
He opened his mouth to reply and she rolled right over him.
“Why did you give me the bigger bedroom?” And once she started… “Why does it feel like I’m so scared to say anything because I’m afraid that I’ll mess things up between us? Like if I tell you that I love you, that it’s going to break this ‘okay’ between us and I’m not sure if I’m going to lose that and end up with something awkward, like a ‘friendly’ silence or something worse.
“I just don’t want you to think that I’m saying this because of what Jules said today. I’ve been thinking about it a lot over the last couple of weeks.”
“Really?” He sounded surprised, but not upset. That was a step in the right direction.
“I guess it was all just an idea at first. What it would be like to spend time with you, just you and me. Before, at the office, we had times like that, but the world was always there. People around us. Outside the door. Here, it really is just us and I kept waiting for it to get weird. You know?”
His shoulders shook slightly before he spoke. “I was worrying about that too.”
That admission shook her. “Really?” She felt her shoulders sag in relief. “I thought it was just me.”
Noah wanted to pull her into his arms. He fought the instinct for just a moment and then ignored the worry in his head and went with his heart. Wrapping both arms around her waist, he pulled her into his embrace, and she leaned in, laying her head against his shoulder.
“Why did you give me the master bedroom?”
The question knocked him for a loop. When did she-
“When I asked you to get the file.”
He felt her take a breath and settle in closer. “It’s barely bigger than the bed in there.”
Noah just wanted to enjoy holding her, but he knew he had to answer. “I thought you’d need the room.”
“It’s your home, Noah, and-”
“Ours, Sage. It’s our home.”
He felt her still in his arms.
“I wanted you to feel comfortable here. I want you to stay.”
Another breath, but this time she stepped back and looked up at him, her eyes open and leveled on his. “I need to know why, Noah. I can stay… as a friend, but that’s not what I want. Not what I want for us.”
His lungs burned and his heart swelled with something that felt like hope. “I came home today,” his pressed his lips together in a thin line and then let the pressure go, “I came home because I needed to tell you something. Something I knew was going to change everything between us.”
His eyes didn’t leave hers and he saw them soften. He saw the gentle lift of a smile at the corners of her mouth, that beautiful mouth.
“I should have said something before you left, Sage. I should have told you how I felt, but I didn’t want to put pressure on you. I didn’t want to make you question your decision to go. I just wish I’d known that you were planning to leave.”
Her chin dropped, just a smidge, and her gaze lowered to the side before it lifted to meet his again. “Part of the reason I didn’t tell you is because if I did, I thought I’d chicken out and decide to stay. The job in New York was a great opportunity, but it was also going to allow me to hide a little. Take time to figure out what was really going on.”
“Between us?” He probably shouldn’t have asked, but if he was going to get to the heart of things, he had to go beyond safe. Had to get it out in the open.
Smiling, she nodded. “But mostly what I was feeling. Things between us weren’t simple and they weren’t easy. We had our share of disagreements and conflict at the office.”
He couldn’t help the laughter that burst from his lips. “We’ve had our differing opinions.”
“That’s one way to say it.” Sage gave his side a little pinch, making him move to the side to dodge a repeat of it as she laughed right back at him. “But we’ve always kept things… professional. I was just worried that if I stayed, not only would I have missed out on the opportunity to advance, but there would never be an ‘us’ outside of work and that… that’s what I… that maybe there would be a chance…”
Her mood had sobered.
He could read that plainly in her eyes.
“If you hadn’t come back when you did, I was planning to go and visit you in New York. Talking on the phone and video chatting wasn’t enough for me. I missed you too much.” He lifted his hand and touched the side of her face with his fingertips, gently tracing the high curve of her cheekbone.
“I wanted to tell you-”
“I think you should know-”
They both stopped in mid-sentence and smiled at each other.
“This is what I missed.” He sighed and leaned closer to her. “Being with you, feeling like we’re on the same wave-length. I was going to tell you that I love you, Sage. I want you to stay. It’s not about being nice and giving you the larger room, I wanted you to feel at home. I wanted you to feel at home with me.”
She felt like her heart was ready to explode. Hearing those precious words from Noah? It was heaven. It made her feel like she was floating and falling all at the same time.
She leaned back against the counter and lifted her hands, hesitating before she touched her hands to his face. Since she’d been back, they had touched a number of times. Hugs. Simple touches between friends. Affection.
But love?
She felt the heat of his skin against hers and felt his breath on her fingertips.
The way he looked into her eyes and the way he rubbed his lips together, made her feel electric, as if her whole body was humming and ready to shoot off sparks.
She traced his lower lip with the pad of her thumb and fought back the tears that gathered in her eyes.
“The only regret I had when I moved to New York was leaving you behind. It was silly, really. Back then I kept telling myself that what I felt for you was a kind of make believe. People would joke about us at the office, saying you were my work-husband, and I’d laugh and brush it off, but I couldn’t ignore that I felt connected to you, Noah. I loved going to work because I enjoyed what I did at EndRoad, but the best parts of my day always revolved around spending time with you. Even if it was just coffee, or lunch in the breakroom. I told myself that it would take time to adjust when I started work in New York, but it just wasn’t the same without you.
“It was almost a relief when they said the company was splitting up, because if it hadn’t happened, I was going to buy a ticket and come back here just to see you again.”
“So, we’re still…”
“On the same wavelength? I hope so.”
His voice made her melt and her skin warmed at the sight of his lips parting as he leaned in. Without heels, she just rose up on the balls of her feet and tilted her head back.
When she thought about it later, wondering if she was the one who kissed him or if he kissed her, she laughed at how silly she was being. Sitting beside Noah on the couch, cuddled into his side, their fingers woven together, she knew she was in a dream.
“You know,” she whispered when she felt him press a kiss to her temple, “I can’t help but feel like we’ve been dancing around this for a long time now.”
He drew her closer, settling her legs across his lap. “I have always wanted to take you dancing.”
That made her smile even more. “You don’t dance. You’ve never gone out with us when we’ve gone dancing!”
“In front of all those nosy coworkers of ours? There was no way I’d be able to dance with you and not wrap my arms around you, Sage.”
“Well,” she turned
her head and felt his lips settle against hers for a moment, “if you held me like this on the dance floor, then yes, they’d know everything. We just weren’t ready for it then.”
“Are you now?” His voice was whisper soft and warm against her cheek. “Would you come with me the next time we finish a campaign and go out to celebrate? Will you come and dance with me? Keep me out of trouble?”
That made her laugh out loud. “Keep you out of trouble? No one can do that!”
He touched her side and made her gasp as she pushed his hand away.
“No tickling!”
Noah moved his hand away from her side and settled it on her knee. “You know, you’re probably the only one with a chance of keeping me out of trouble.”
“Really now?” She giggled when he pressed a kiss against her lips.
“Really.” He cuddled her close and rested his cheek against her hair. “No one has that kind of hold on me, but you, Sage. I love you so much.”
She sighed, contented. “Just like I love you.”
* * *
The next day found Sage and Noah walking hand in hand down the street together. Breakfast at a local café had put a smile on both of their faces, but as they moved along underneath the tree lined road, Sage saw a friendly face.
Rosemary sat on the bench at the bus stop, a pretty red hat on her head matching the fiery color of the leaves in the trees. “Well hello there, Sage. Is this Noah I see holding your hand?”
Sage felt her cheeks flush with heat as she introduced the two. “I was hoping I’d see you again so I could tell you that all those worries we talked about? Well, I’ve got one new issue that’s going to occupy my time.”
“Oh?” Rosemary’s eyes were full of confusion. “What’s that?”
“I’m going to make sure that I don’t keep everything bottled up inside.” Sage leaned against Noah’s shoulder and felt his hand squeeze hers tight. “Making sure that our home is as happy in the future as it is today. We’re better partners when we actually tell each other what we’re feeling.”
