by A. H. Lee
Published by: Pavonine Books
Cover by Starla Huchton
© 2020 by Abigail Hilton. All rights reserved. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This material may not be reproduced, modified, or distributed without the express prior permission of the copyright holder. Artwork is displayed by agreement with the artists. All artists hold the copyrights to their work.
Table of contents
Chapter 1. The Tipsy Knave
Chapter 2. Date
Chapter 3. Daphne
Chapter 4. House of Mirrors
Chapter 5. Soul-Eater
Chapter 6. Staring Contest
Chapter 7. Winthrop
Chapter 8. A Shard and a Punch Bowl
Chapter 9. Something Tethered
Chapter 10. Mirror Magic
Chapter 11. The Best They Could Do
Chapter 12. Pinned
Chapter 13. Betrayed
Chapter 14. November
Chapter 15. Second Date
Chapter 16. A Plan
Chapter 17. Professionals
Chapter 18. A Lamp and a Loft
Chapter 19. Behind a Tapestry
Chapter 20. Third Date
Chapter 21. Extremely Professional
Chapter 22. Getting to Know Each Other
Chapter 23. Fire and Glass
Chapter 24. Sairis Asks a Question
Chapter 25. Regrets
Chapter 26. The Mouse
Chapter 27. Morning After
Chapter 28. Marsden
Chapter 29. Unguarded
Chapter 30. Spirit-walking
Chapter 31. Back in the Palace
Chapter 32. Mirror Maze
Chapter 33. Blood and Magic
Chapter 34. In a Time Before Bronze
Chapter 35. Norres
Chapter 36. Leverage
About the Author
Chapter 1. The Tipsy Knave
Roland Malconwy adjusted his linen cravat and flipped open one more button on the collar of his plain shirt as he strode into the warm glow of the Tipsy Knave. Gods, it’s good to be home.
The tavern was a den of noise and familiar smells. A lively student debate was taking place near the stage, a game of darts in another corner. A quartet was playing, a few men dancing, two of them kissing.
Roland remembered when this tavern had seemed like the most scandalous, debauched, fascinating place on earth. It had been a sanctuary where he could be himself and—more importantly—not himself. Not Prince Roland Malconwy. Just Jack—a name everyone knew was false. He’d been a scholar’s son, a merchant’s visiting nephew, a butcher’s boy, a farmer’s lad. When his face became too familiar for his parade of invented identities, he’d settled on stable boy. If someone attempted to engage him in conversation about his trade, he could answer knowledgeably. Stable boy was close enough to squire. Eventually, it was close enough to knight.
No one could mistake me for a stable boy now. Roland recognized half the faces that turned towards him as he entered, but he didn’t think any of them recognized him. He’d been gone for four years, living a soldier’s life on the border. He might still pass for a laborer, perhaps a quarryman, but certainly not a stable boy. Please, no one take me for a soldier. I don’t want to be a soldier tonight. He had little fear of anyone taking him for a prince, at least. The extravagances of the nobility made his simple garments as good as a mask.
Roland’s eyes strayed to the corner of the bar where he’d kissed a man for the first time—another boy, really, though a few years older. It had seemed so illicit, so deliciously wicked. Now their fumbling kisses seemed charmingly innocent. Roland had lost his virginity in one of the backrooms here—gasping out his pleasure in another man’s arms. That, too, seemed sweetly innocent.
His partner, Marcus, had known who he was, and had marched with him to the border three years later. Marcus lay in an unmarked grave now, somewhere on the slopes of the new mountain they’d named Cairn for all the blood soaked into its soil.
Roland shut his eyes, opened them again. This is a safe place. He forced himself not to think of Marcus as he walked across the room, threading his way through tables of card-players, men chatting and flirting, established couples out for the evening, young people looking for an anonymous fuck, prostitutes plying their trade. Roland wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking for, aside from nostalgia and comfort. He wasn’t opposed to a tumble tonight, but he wasn’t set on it either.
One of the prostitutes staggered into Roland, who caught the fellow and set him on his feet. “Well, hello there,” purred the young man. He had dark skin, red lips, and eyes lined with gold paint—too pretty for Roland’s tastes, but a work of art nonetheless. The young man’s gaze slid up and down. Suddenly Roland was sweating. Were his dun-colored waistcoat and trousers enough of a disguise? The sleeves of his undyed wool shirt hid the scars on arms accustomed to wielding a broadsword. His neatly-trimmed beard hid the scar on his jaw where a spiked mace had once caught him. Roland was uncomfortably aware of the way his trousers were not quite baggy enough to hide the muscles of thighs accustomed to gripping a warhorse. Please don’t call me a soldier.
The whore licked his lips. He placed one hand delicately on Roland’s chest and leaned up to murmur in his ear, “No charge.”
Well, that’s new. He wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or to check that his wallet was still in place.
“No, thank you,” he managed.
The young man rocked back with a playful smile. He really was beautiful. “Well, if you change your mind...” and he slipped a bit of paper into Roland’s breast pocket.
Roland heard someone snicker at a nearby table. He caught the words “specimen” and “gorgeous brute.”
It surprised him, although he supposed it shouldn’t. Four years on the border had changed him physically and mentally. If he had met most of these men on the road, he would have regarded them as a wolf regards lapdogs. However, when he’d stepped through the door of the Tipsy Knave, he’d felt like a teenager again—scrawny and unremarkable.
You can’t go back, I suppose.
He’d finally reached the bar. The stools were mostly empty, better entertainments being available elsewhere. He spied one other fellow drinking at the far end—a slender man in a charcoal waistcoat and black overcoat. He looked vaguely like a student.
Roland could almost hear Marcus in the back of his head. Students will be your downfall, Prince. You know they don’t come with dowries, right?
He smiled at the memory. One of the things that had drawn him to the Tipsy Knave as a youth was its proximity to Mistala University—a school that had been old before the Sundering. The university had offered a magical studies program when magic was only a regional curiosity, good for parlor tricks, and not a dangerous menace that might break the world.
It occurred to Roland that it had been a long time since he’d had a conversation with someone who cared passionately about the true nature of chimeras...or arcane languages...or voles.
He ordered a drink and walked over to the student. The man was sitting with one arm on the bar, watching the room. He had dark brown hair, too short for fashion, and what looked like three days’ worth of stubble on his narrow face.
Roland sat down beside him. “Exams this week?”
The stranger turned slowly. His large, dark eyes seemed even larger behind silver-rimmed spectacles. His gaze had a formidable intensity that belied his size, clothes, and grooming. Roland understood suddenly why he was sitting alone.
Then the man blinked. He gave a quick, shy smile that briefly transformed his intimidating face into something softer, younger, more curious. The smile only lasted an instant, but it was such a startling change that Roland immediately wanted to see it again.
The man looked down at his drink. “Something like that.”
Roland opened his mouth to make a banal remark about exams, but what came out was, “I used to come here all the time. I’ve been away. I missed it.”
The stranger gave him a sidelong look. He was definitely younger than Roland had first assumed. The half-grown beard that framed his mouth and jaw gave his face more weight, but it did not hide his slender throat or the absence of lines around his eyes. He had the pallor of a person who didn’t spend much time outdoors. “It’s my first visit.”
“Are you from out of town?”
The other man nodded.
Roland stuck out his hand. “Jack. What would you like to be called?”
That fleeting smile again. Roland wondered what he could say to keep it in place.
“That’s an odd way to ask a person’s name,” said the stranger.
Roland shrugged. “We don’t always use real names here. Just tell me what you’d like me to call you.”
The stranger considered. “Sair.”
“Welcome to the Tipsy Knave, Sair. I recommend the ale, the eel pie, the house red, and the cider. The house white is terrible. If they offer you moonshine, I suggest asking who took out the contract on your life.”
He was hoping for another smile, but Sair was looking around the room again. “Are there really this many men, who...?”
Roland wondered whether Sair had come from Falcosta to the east. The priests and rulers of Falcosta did not approve of men like Roland, female rulers like Roland’s sister, or many of the university’s courses. Roland had grown up in the shadow of such beliefs, and he had a bitter understanding of what they could do to a kingdom...or to a man.
“Yes,” said Roland simply. He hesitated and added. “Who you love is no one’s business except your own here.” That was true enough, although Sair might have pointed out that it hadn’t always been so.
In a flash of insight, Roland knew that his companion must be part of the emissary’s party. It would explain his wonder at the Tipsy Knave, his shy caution, his uncertainty. He couldn’t be an important politician, of course. Such a person would never risk such a venture. His hands had the look of a scribe or personal secretary.
Roland felt a stab of guilt. Sair probably thought he could not possibly meet anyone from the palace here—no one who might give him away. Roland wanted to say, “You can trust me. Remember that if we happen to run into each other later.”
But he didn’t want to frighten the man, didn’t want to stir up unpleasant memories. He wanted Sair to relax and enjoy his moment of freedom.
Sair had finished his drink and ordered another. Roland thought he was trying to find some courage. “How does one...approach another person...in such a place?” He sounded like he was trying to solve a math problem.
Roland grinned. “Well, you generally start by actually approaching them. Say, sitting down beside them at the bar.”
Sair’s eyes flicked to Roland’s face. That brief smile flashed again—knowing amusement. He might be uncertain about the dance of intimacy, but he was not an uncertain man. Roland found himself wanting to ask what Sair actually did for a living, wondering what he must be like in his native element. “Terrifyingly competent” was the phrase that came to mind.
“Then,” continued Roland, “you might make a bad joke about the food. Any joke will do. You just want to see him smile. Ideally, you’d like to see him laugh, but some people are hard to impress.”
“Some people are just humorless shrews,” said Sair. “It’s nothing personal.”
Roland chuckled.
Sair grinned.
Roland wanted to make him grin all evening. “Next,” he continued, “you want to give yourselves something to focus on apart from each other. Staring into the eyes of someone you just met can feel intimidating.” Staring into your eyes when you’re not smiling is like staring into the abyss.
Sair was leaning forward a little. His voice came out soft and low. “Such as?”
Roland swallowed. He did, in fact, want to focus that gaze somewhere else. “Well, some men would suggest a game of darts or cards, or they would listen to the student debate so that they’d have something to talk about.”
Sair sipped his drink without shifting his eyes from Roland’s. “The students are discussing the desiccation of the land, how far it will go, whether it can be turned by magic or science. This does not seem like the right...topic.”
Roland had to agree. “One would also need to walk among a bunch of shouting, babbling idiots to reach the debate,” he said, “and if your new friend seems shy, that might be torture for him.”
A quirk of the lips. Not a full smile, but it was something.
“Instead,” continued Roland, “you might offer to read his palm, seeing as you have some skill in that direction.”
Sair burst out laughing.
Roland hadn’t expected this. Magic was as illegal in Falcosta as this gentlemen’s club. The most Roland had hoped for was an open-minded response, considering Sair’s romantic tastes. Instead, Sair’s eyes crinkled into pinpoints of amusement and he shook on his stool. He regained control quickly and said, “You’re a magician?”
“I have some skill,” said Roland with an air of mystery.
Sair raised one eyebrow. He looked like a parent humoring a child. Roland didn’t much care for that, so he said, “If a man does not want to engage with you, there’s really nothing you can do to make him. You should just walk away.”
Sair turned his hand over on the counter between them and advanced it infinitesimally towards Roland. He still had one eyebrow raised. He didn’t say anything.
Roland slid a large, callused palm under Sair’s smoother one. He sensed Sair’s intake of breath. You’re not accustomed to being touched. He could have encircled Sair’s wrist with ease. Instead, he rested thumb and forefingers lightly against the delicate bones. Roland set his drink down and ran a finger over Sair’s palm, pretending to study it.
The part of Roland’s brain that evaluated a battlefield noted that Sair offered his right hand, but he’d been picking up his drink with his left. You’re left-handed. A thoughtless man would have passed me his dominant hand, but you fear traps and you think. So you passed me the other one. He let his eyes drift to Sair’s clothes at the edge of his vision. He couldn’t see much under the black coat, but he glimpsed the edge of the waistcoat. The material looked fine, but that cut had not been fashionable since Roland’s grandfather’s day.
“Well?” said Sair with a new edge to his voice. “How long am I going to live? Have you any idea how I can become wealthy and find love?”
Roland ran a finger up over Sair’s wrist, along his arm where blue veins shone beneath the smooth skin. Sair stopped talking. Roland was pretty sure he stopped breathing.
“You live alone.”
“Good guess,” hissed Sair, “but wrong.”
“You feel alone,” continued Roland, refusing to be irritated. “You feel trapped. You’re wearing someone else’s clothes. Someone else’s ideas. You’d like to change, but you don’t know how. You don’t trust anyone. Not even yourself.”
Sair snatched his hand away. Roland raised his eyes and saw an expression of real anger. Why did I say that? He tried to recover. “If you’re going to engage a man with a parlor trick, you should probably keep it light and funny. No one appreciates a mountebank. If you make a mistake, you should probably tell a joke, although it might be too late.”
Sair was breathing quickly.
Roland licked his lips. “I’m not very good at magic.”
“I know,” snapped Sair.
Roland’s shoulders sagged. “And to be perfectly honest, it’s been a long time since I tried to flirt with a stranger. I’ve lost the knack. I apologize. You should get lessons from someone else. This is a good place. I hope you are able to enjoy it.”
He rose to leave. He did not expect to be called back, and was surprised when Sair�
��s hand shot out to take his arm. “Wait.” The smaller man pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes screwed shut. “Please...just...wait.”
Roland sat back down. “It’s alright,” he said gently. “I overstepped myself. There are plenty of men here who won’t—”
“I have never attempted to flirt with a stranger,” interrupted Sair. “I don’t know what’s normal. I want to learn.”
Roland made a face. “It’s not actually normal to tell someone they’re lonely. Or that they don’t trust themselves. I shouldn’t have said that.”
Sair wasn’t quite looking at him. “I live with my stepfather, who is dying. I certainly feel alone. These are his clothes.”
Roland blinked. Before he thought about it, he blurted, “My father just passed.”
Sair’s eyes flicked to his face. Roland couldn’t read that expression, but it might have contained sympathy. He chose to think so.
“It’s why I came home,” said Roland. “It was unexpected. I feel terribly bad that I wasn’t here. My family is squabbling. It’s unpleasant, but...” He let his eyes skip over the room. “I missed this place. It feels safe. That’s why I came tonight.”
A long pause. Then Sair said, “So...if I’m taking my lessons correctly, the next step after ‘perform a party trick for your companion,’ is ‘pour out your hopes and fears’?”
Roland swallowed a laugh. “I defy you to produce a source that says otherwise.”
“You have the advantage of me.”
Roland dared to let his knuckles brush Sair’s again. When Sair didn’t pull away, Roland curled their fingers together. He looked directly into those dark eyes and continued in a low voice, “Even if you’re no good at magic, I still recommend palm reading because it gives you an excuse to hold a fellow’s hand.”
Sair swallowed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
Their faces were inches apart. Sair’s glasses caught the light and made his eyes look huge.
“If you want to kiss a stranger,” whispered Roland, “it’s a good idea to ask first.”
Sair blinked at him. His long lashes brushed his glasses. “Doesn’t that rather spoil the moment?” he whispered back.
