Who are you trying to convince?
“Are you planning to sit in that hot car all day, Fiona?”
“Mr. Finn?” Fiona unbuckled her seatbelt and stepped out of Wyatt’s truck as his Uncle Shawn walked toward her from the big house. The older man was wearing flip-flops, shorts and a pub t-shirt. He was holding a water bottle and his hair was suspiciously wet. “Were you swimming?”
“Caught me.” Shawn grinned and Fiona felt her anxiety start to ease in an instant. He had a way about him. They all did, but Shawn Finn was the original. “The siren song of the indoor pool. Can’t resist it. Plus, my anniversary is coming up. I want to get in shape so I can surprise Ellen with a new move or two.”
Fiona covered her mouth, surprised she could laugh so soon after feeling her heart break. “That sounds wonderful. I was looking for Seamus.”
Shawn looked at her suitcase in the backseat before sending her a sideways glance. “He went to see Noah. Bell’s visiting his mother and the kids are all out doing some activity or another. Penny’s got a dance recital. Wes is at the movies. Little Sean is at his girlfriend’s house.”
“He has a girlfriend already?” He was barely seven.
Shawn winked. “He says she is. Her mother thinks it’s cute and lets them play in her yard. Little does she know.”
“And where’s Jake?”
He looked back toward the house. “He’s not really in a good place for company right now. I think he had a fight with his friend. Someone named Shelley? I heard him yelling from downstairs, which is saying something with a house this size.”
Shelley Wayne? Fiona frowned, but then Shawn was taking her hand and sliding her arm through his. “There’s a beautiful side garden Bellamy made for Penny, back when she still believed in fairies. It has a shaded gazebo where we can sit for a while and catch up on things. I haven’t seen you in months.”
His silver hair was drying over a face lined with life but still incredibly handsome. This man and his loving wife had raised four children of their own. He was a hero to his nephews, an attentive grandfather and, judging by his reaction to his family’s life choices, an incredibly open-minded individual He understood loss, too. His twin brother had cut ties with him long before he died, and Shawn had discovered things about him along the way that had broken his heart.
But you wanted to talk to Seamus.
Shawn had gotten her into the gazebo and seated before she could even think about declining his invitation. He groaned a little as he lowered himself beside her, slapping his hands on his thighs before studying the garden. “Have you decided whether or not I’m a good enough substitute yet?”
Fiona sat up straighter, startled. “What do you— How did you know what I was doing?”
One side of his mouth kicked up in a half smile. “I used to own the pub you work in now. I opened the place, and a good bartender’s instincts never really die. Would you be here wanting to talk to Seamus about his cousin, Wyatt? Or his business partner, that handsome young Thoreau Wayne? Or both?”
God, he was good. But he didn’t know everything. No one did.
You have to talk to someone.
“I wanted to talk to him about Presley. And my parents. I wanted someone to tell me it was okay that I lied about being pregnant, and that I’m not a horrible person who actually managed to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me by being crazy like my mother.”
Shawn Finn stared at her, wide-eyed. He was silent for so long Fiona started to worry she’d given him another stroke. “Are you okay? Should I get Jake? Call Ellen?”
“No, no.” He patted her arm, still watching her carefully. “I think I’m going to need more information. Why don’t you tell me about these parents of yours and we’ll go from there.”
She told him everything. What she’d shared with Wyatt and Thoreau last night. Why she’d gone to California. How she felt responsible for her sister’s death and, even after therapy, was still afraid that with two unbalanced parents, she was doomed to repeat their mistakes.
She also told him that she was in love with her two men, but she’d lied to them enough that she was worried she might have lost them forever.
“That’s a lot, right? I mean, I’m a bartender, too, so I know that’s a lot.”
Shawn wiped a hand over his face and reached for his water bottle. “I think I’m up for it.”
He took a long drink and then set his bottle down again before shifting to face her. Taking both her hands in his, he said, “You decided to be a surrogate, but it wasn’t just for money. Unless I miss my guess, you wanted a child, but you didn’t trust yourself enough to raise one, so you thought this way you’d get the experience without hurting anyone but yourself.”
Her throat tightened. “You think so?”
He nodded. “I also think you being in love with young Wyatt and Thor, and fitting in so well with the family, scared the stuffing out of you, so you sabotaged yourself. If you’re the reason your sister died, why should you get everything you’ve ever secretly wanted?”
JD had said it. Thoreau had said it. Now Shawn. She’d done this to herself.
She sighed. “You’re right about that.”
“But you’re wrong,” Shawn told her kindly, but firmly. “Your parents weren’t well and you were a teenager in an impossible situation, Fiona. Do you blame Jake for his mother being killed?”
“No! He was a little boy and he wasn’t even there—”
“Same situation.” Shawn shrugged, looking thoughtful. “Maybe that’s why you two understand each other so well. I think there’s still a part of Jake that blames himself for it. That’s why he watches after his brothers and sisters so carefully. Why he looks after his father. You. He doesn’t want to be caught off guard again. And no matter how much love Seamus and the rest of us give him, it’s still in there. The fear of it all disappearing. Of us disappearing. Just like it’s still in you. You’re afraid of hurting the people you love. Your future child. Your two young men.”
“So how do I get rid of my fear?”
He squeezed her hands before letting them go regretfully. “You don’t. That’s the crux of it. You’ll go to therapy. You’ll tell the truth to the people who care about you, no matter how hard and scary it is, and you keep talking to them, so you don’t get trapped in your own head about it. You’ll keep volunteering because it’s your way of honoring your sister, and you’ll live. That’s how you beat fear, Fiona Howard. You let yourself love people, you let yourself be loved, and you live.”
It sounded so similar to what Thoreau had said to Wyatt, that she felt something shift in her chest. His insightful words made her want to cry, but suddenly she didn’t feel like she needed to. Not the way she had before she got here.
“You are good,” she marveled.
“I know.” He got to his feet and helped her to hers. “Now promise me, before you do whatever it was you were planning to do with that suitcase, will you talk to Wyatt about the baby? And Thoreau. Give them a chance to live up to the moment. Trust them enough for that. If they don’t, if they manage to screw it up, then I’m wrong about them and I’ll come over there and show them how it’s done.”
She wrapped her arms around him and he held her tightly. This. She wanted her baby to have this kind of acceptance. This kind of love. She wanted her child to know this man. Great Uncle Shawn.
“I promise,” she whispered.
“Fiona?” Jake came around the corner and stopped with a confused frown on his face. “Why are you crying? What are you doing here with Grandpa? And why did Ken Tanaka just call me and tell me where you were?”
“What now?” Shawn Finn chuckled. “How could he know that?”
Jake shrugged. “Her cell phone must be on.”
“What does he want?” Fiona wiped her tears, trying to focus.
“Wyatt and Thoreau are at the townhouse, looking for you. They want you to get there as soon as possible. Sounded urgent.”
“Sounds like dest
iny to me,” Shawn said with a wink.
Fiona chuckled wetly. “Or a hacker trying to matchmake.”
“Whatever gets the job done.” He gave Jake a kiss on the forehead before saying, “Are you ready to live, Fiona?”
She smiled. “I think maybe I am.”
Chapter Eleven
Wyatt
Wyatt sagged with relief when Tanaka said Fiona was with Jake and his Uncle Shawn. Not at the airport. Not crossing the border to Canada.
Not leaving him.
At least, not yet.
“Now that everyone’s feeling like they’ve been trapped in a bad soap opera, how about we focus on some good news instead?” Rory asked the room at large.
There weren’t that many people here. Tasha and Seamus. Noah and Rory. Brady and Ken. All of them now knew that Fiona was pregnant, the baby was his, and Thoreau was somehow okay with it all. That made this a much more informative family meeting than any of them were expecting. And yes, if it weren’t his life, he’d say it was a little like a soap opera.
“Good news works for me,” Wyatt said, distractedly running a hand through his hair.
“Okay, first, they found the little prick who paid to have his building set on fire.”
“They did?” Noah asked with a glower. “Does Younger want to give me some time alone in a locked room with the sonofabitch?”
Rory shook his head. “I already asked, but he says the FBI has jurisdiction. Killjoys.”
Any other day Wyatt would be all over that news, demanding every detail and wondering why no one at the station had called him. But now Fiona was pregnant, Noah was talking to him and he might or might not be attracted to Thoreau Wayne. His plate was already overflowing.
He was going to be a father.
She didn’t want you to know.
He’d almost touched Thor’s hammer.
It looked like he wanted you to.
Was Noah’s Manny gay? Because it almost seemed like he was looking at—
Enough.
Wyatt wasn’t sure what to do with any of that. He was a simple guy. Beer, porn and firefighting. He was the calendar Finn. The sidekick.
The father.
“Maybe we could let Brady and Ken talk?” Seamus suggested. “Since they’re the reason we’re here in the first place. Not that I’m not fascinated by the drama between my cousin, my partner and my bartender.”
Wyatt grimaced and glanced over at Seamus. Sorry. “Yeah. Let’s focus on Ken’s problem.”
Good luck with that, Daddy.
“We’ve got our eyes on a developing situation with a reporter. Not as sexy as a secret baby, but still important or we wouldn’t have called,” Ken offered dryly.
Tasha crossed her arms with a scowl. “Again? You know I’m all for the free press, especially in the world we’re living in now. All hail the fourth estate and amen, but come on. Haven’t we been through enough?”
“I couldn’t agree more,” Thoreau murmured behind Wyatt’s shoulder. “You’d think you were Kardashians, the way they follow you around.”
“We’re better,” Tasha said, sending him a quick smile. “But we don’t need to be in the spotlight just to validate our existence. In fact, we’re a little busy living our best lives. So, who’s in the hot seat this time, Tanaka?”
“Noah, or we wouldn’t be here,” Wyatt guessed. “But what could a reporter possibly have on Noah?”
Ken didn’t give him a direct answer. “A woman has been interviewing your fellow firefighters, witnesses and friends of the family. The questions always start around the subject of the fire, but then they take a more personal turn. Your captain is the one who called to give us a head’s-up, Wyatt. And from the sound of it, she’s put together one heck of a dossier. Most of it is already in the public record.” He paused, taking the time to scan the room with his gaze. “But there are few things that aren’t.”
Brady frowned. “It’s the way questions are being worded and anecdotes compiled that make it seem like this is some sort of—”
“Smear campaign?” Fiona said as she walked into the room, looking as if she’d been crying.
“Fiona.” Wyatt and Thoreau both stepped forward but Fiona shook her head subtly and Wyatt stilled, shoving his hands in his pockets.
“Nice of you to join us,” Brady said, glancing at Wyatt before turning back to Fiona. “And yeah. That’s what I’d call it.”
“Stephen has dealt with those before,” Tasha said, her eyes on Fiona’s stomach. “His constituents are thankfully smart enough to know tabloid from the truth.”
“Not exactly like this,” Ken corrected. “And not to blow my own horn, but I’ve managed to keep the worst stuff out of the tabloids. The city’s familiarity with, and love of, the Finn name does the rest. Anyway, I don’t think this particular reporter wants to publish any of her information. She has something else in mind.”
“Wyatt’s right, isn’t he?” Noah shifted with a grimace on the couch. “It’s not my ego talking, though I am still in the papers,” he joked, keeping his head down so his hat hid the scarred part of his face. “But since you’re here, and I used to know a reporter in the biblical sense, I’m assuming...”
Wyatt turned to Ken in surprise. He hadn’t made the connection. “No fucking way. There were lawyers. She signed all her rights away. It was her idea.”
Fiona looked startled. “Zach’s mother?” she said as she walked closer to Thoreau. “She moved to Seattle, didn’t she?”
“She’s not his mother,” Wyatt growled, his throat feeling raw as he swallowed his desire to ask her why she’d lied to him. “She left him so she could be a big broadcast news star. She can’t have him back now. Is Zach still upstairs?”
“He’s safe, Wyatt” Noah said. “But I don’t want him hearing about any of this unless he has to. She wants custody?” he asked Ken with a tilt of his head. “Is that where you think this is going?”
Wyatt felt Fiona’s hand on his back, and he closed his eyes, accepting the comfort she offered, despite the situation.
“No one in this room is going to let that happen, Noah,” she said firmly.
“That’s right,” Tasha agreed, hands on her hips to show she meant business. “She thinks she knows everything? Let her try to take that sweet boy from his daddy and she’ll learn something new.”
“Why no emails or phone calls? And why bring us here?” Seamus asked, bewildered.
Ken grimaced. “Because your showing up here would be routine, a visit to a recovering family member. And you can spread the word to the rest of the Finns faster than we can without drawing attention. I’d rather not talk about this over the phone right now. There are things she’s asked a few off-duty cops and pub patrons… Topics that I made sure weren’t floating in the ether. I can’t figure out where or how she’s getting her information.”
Ken couldn’t figure it out?
“She’s got her own Tanaka?” Noah asked, mirroring Wyatt’s disbelief. “Great. Wonderful. What’s she got that everyone doesn’t already gossip about at the water cooler?”
“James, for one,” Brady answered.
“Isn’t he visiting his friend in Florida?” Rory looked around the room hesitantly. “Am I the only one who got a postcard?”
“He’s in Florida,” Brady assured him. “And he did originally go there to see about a friend.”
“Alex,” Tasha said quickly. “The first time he went there, William told Bronte that James was going to see a girl named Alex.”
Ken and Brady shared a speaking look.
“See what happens when you give up control of the phone tree?” Thoreau murmured near his ear, making him smile.
“Alex didn’t want to see him yet,” Ken started.
Brady shook his head. “No, I need to tell them.” He turned to Wyatt and Rory. “James has been in rehab for the last three months. We’re going down next week to stay with him for a few days after his release.”
As the room erupted in chaos, N
oah lifted his head and met Wyatt’s gaze. Neither of them was surprised. They’d known something was wrong with James for a long time. Noah had even guessed it might be drug-related because of their brother’s time in vice.
Wyatt looked down at Fiona, whose expression was full of concern. For him?
“You okay?” he asked softly, looking down at her flat stomach in wonder. “Where did you go? I told you I’d be back later.”
“I’m here now,” she said. “And I need to tell you something.”
Brady let out a whistle that hurt his ears. “That’s enough. I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but James specifically requested we wait for him to complete his program so he could work through his steps at his own pace.”
His voice broke at the end and Ken leaned against his side, offering his strength without a word. It didn’t escape Wyatt’s notice that Fiona and Thoreau were both beside him, doing the same thing.
“But since it’s out there now, we’ll give you the basics. After he was injured on duty several years ago, he was prescribed pain meds. He never stopped taking them. He said the pain never went away, even when he knew it should have. He realizes now it was the addiction. The rest is still private, but he’s fine. In fact, he’s saying he’s never felt more focused. And no one needs to start blaming themselves or feeling bad.”
Rory’s laugh sounded ragged enough that it set Wyatt in motion. He moved to wrap his arm around his brother’s shoulder as Rory spoke. “You can’t command us not to feel like shit about this, Brady. Not noticing your brother has an addiction is high on the list of things you’re allowed to blame yourself for.”
“Shit,” Seamus said, running his hand through his hair. “Dad’s going to want to be there First, he’s going to want to know why James wasn’t near his family, then he’s going to want to fly down.”
“Uncle Shawn needs to wait,” Brady said firmly. “We’ve got James covered at the moment. He’s requested it just be the two of us, and we don’t want to overwhelm him. But what we don’t know is how Zach’s mother knows about him. And what exactly she plans to do with that information.”
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