by Emma Quinn
“You were together, were you?” She feigned innocence disturbingly well. “I told you that you and Anastasia make a good pair.”
“No, nothing happened between us. I found her lying naked in my bed and that was when Rachel caught us. You sabotaged my relationship with her!”
“Sabotaged? Past tense?”
My nostrils flared as my brows knitted themselves together into a steep frown. “Don’t act so surprised. She handed in her resignation letter this morning.”
“Well, good riddance,” Mother huffed. “That woman was going to ruin you. She was clearly just using you for your money and influence. Why you felt the need to fake a relationship with me is really just unthinkable.”
“I did it because you’re overbearing!” I roared. “I’m not a kid anymore, Mother. This isn’t the seventeenth century when parents had a say in their kid’s love lives. Rachel was special to me, and now you’ve scared her away. She won’t answer my texts or my calls and it’s all your fault.”
“Mother knows best, Peter. That woman would only have brought you down. She would have been a distraction.”
“Do you have any idea how stupid you sound?”
“Watch your mouth. How dare you call me stupid. You’re the one not thinking clearly! Why are you trying to throw everything away from a nobody like her?”
The words fell out of my mouth before I had the chance to think. “Because I’m in love with her!”
A silence fell over the both of us, thick and uncomfortable and distressingly cold. Mother looked like I just slapped her across the face. Her carefully pinned mask of elegance and grace was beginning to slip, and I could finally see her for the manipulative monster that she really was. This wasn’t about my wellbeing. This wasn’t about my happiness or my future. Mother literally just wanted me wrapped around her finger, and ever since I dared try to step away from her control, she’d made sure to make my life a living hell.
“We’re done,” I huffed.
“Excuse me?”
“We’re done, Mother. Don’t call me. Don’t text me. Don’t come see me.”
“How dare you! You can’t speak to me this way. I–”
“All my life, I’ve tried to make you proud. Nothing I’ve ever done has been good enough for you. And now, when I finally decide to pursue my own happiness, you destroy everything. I’ve never met a woman like Rachel before. Just because she doesn’t fit your idea of a perfect woman, that doesn’t mean I think the same. I didn’t realize how much Rachel meant to me until you threw Anastasia in my face, and now everything’s ruined. A good mother would never do such a thing to their son. So we’re done. Don’t come crawling back to me.”
“Peter, I–”
“I’ve humored you long enough. Live out the rest of your life out here, and I’ll live the rest of mine away from you.”
Mother tried to grab me by the arm, but I turned away and made for the door.
“Peter! Get back here this instant! I’m talking to you!”
I ignored her. I needed to get back to the city. I needed to find Rachel somehow and apologize. I’d get down on my knees if I had to. It was only when I’d lost her that I realized she meant absolutely everything to me. I needed to explain myself, needed to prove that she was the only one for me. And I prayed to God I wasn’t too late.
24
Rachel
I
thought maybe I had food poisoning. The first thing I did when I woke up that morning was dash to the bathroom and puke my guts out. While I held my hair back and tried not to die a little on the inside, I wondered if David was feeling sick as well. Maybe the Indian food we ordered the night before wasn’t sitting well with him, either. David had always had a weaker stomach than I, so I was half-expecting him to burst into the bathroom demanding a turn to stick his head in the toilet. The minutes past and rolled into an hour and he still hadn’t shown up, leaving me with the privacy I was grateful to have.
There was a knock at the bathroom door. “Rachel, you’re going to be late on your first day.”
“I’m coming,” I mumbled, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. My whole tongue was coated with bitter bile and traces of last night’s dinner.
“Are you okay? You sound like shit.”
“I’m not… I’m not feeling too good.”
David tried turning the doorknob, but I’d locked it from the inside. “Rachel, what’s going on?”
“I think I’m sick.”
“Do you need me to get you anything?”
I was just about to respond, but wound up hurling instead. My stomach had to be empty by this point, but my body was full of surprises today. The sounds of my dry heaving must have concerned David, because he started pounding frantically on the door.
“Rachel? Rachel, talk to me. Open up.”
“No, no. I’m okay. I just… I’m sorry, I don’t think I can make it to my first day.”
“Ah, shit. Really? Is it that bad?”
I dabbed some bunched-up tissue paper across my sweaty brow. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I know you went to a lot of trouble asking your boss for me.”
“I’m sure he’ll understand. I’ll go talk to him. He’s a pretty reasonable guy.”
“Yeah, please tell him. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. I have to get going, but call me if you need me, okay?”
“M’kay,” I grumbled.
I sighed, frustrated that of all the times I had to get sick, it had to be the first day of my new job. I was so hoping to make a good impression, too. What if I was fired because I wasn’t well enough to show up? I’d have to start all over again and find work. There was nothing I hated more than job hunting.
And liars like Peter Alance.
It had been several weeks since I last spoke to him. He kept trying to call and text me. He even tried emailing me on several occasions. I blocked all of his contacts when he just wouldn’t stop. He’d apparently tried to visit the apartment, too. But David was always quick to tell him I wasn’t here. I’d hide in my room and stay as quiet as I could, dreading how wonderful the scent of sandalwood was whenever he’d leave, disgruntled. Eventually he just stopped coming. I thought I’d be happy about it because it meant I could finally move on.
But the aching emptiness in my chest just wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want to believe my eyes, but how else could I explain Anastasia naked in his bed? How else was I supposed to take it? What I hated the most was just how much I missed him. I missed the warmth of his skin on my, the softness of his kisses, the way he said my name that made it roll right off his tongue. My memories of him were just as painful to look back on as they were pleasant, and I just didn’t know what to do anymore.
And now, coupled with an incredibly upset stomach, I just wanted to curl up into a tiny little ball and sleep for hours on end. Maybe then I’d start to feel just a smidge better about the tragic comedy that was my life.
I clutched my stomach and massaged my abdomen in the hopes that the gurgling sensation would subside. I’d been feeling really run down lately. Headaches were becoming more and more common, though I attributed those to my general lack of sleep. My skin was super oily and unpredictable, but I reasoned that maybe I just wasn’t eating right. Speaking of not eating right, I had cravings day in and day out for all kinds of weird things –bacon dipped in chocolate, whipped cream on Ritz crackers, and spicy pickles were always at the top of my list. I very slowly started to put things together. As I tried to figure out what was wrong with me, one probably explanation stuck out amongst the rest?
There was no way it could be true. Could it?
In a panic, I jumped to my feet and ran to the medicine cabinet, rummaging around in order to find the little pink box that was buried behind various ointment bottles and combo-pack toothpaste boxes. When David and I moved to the city, the last tenants happened to leave a couple of unused pregnancy tests behind in the bathroom. I always intended to throw them out, but kept forgetting because I just didn’
t have the time to do a thorough cleaning. I slipped a seal test out from the box and stared at it, wondering if I was really losing my mind. At the very least, it couldn’t hurt to be doubly sure, right?
I took the taste and fumbled around a bit while I waited the two minutes I was supposed to. My heart was railing against my ribcage, the funny feeling in my stomach only growing more and more obnoxious. A million scenarios ran through my head, leaving my mind spinning. When my two minutes were up, I took a deep breath and looked down at the little pregnancy test. Two blue stripes showed up in the tiny window.
Positive.
“Oh, dear God,” I whispered quietly. “Oh, dear Lord, what–”
I brought a hand to my stomach, at first bewildered and concerned. I was pregnant? I was pregnant. Why was I smiling so hard? This was probably the last thing I needed right now, but why was I so unbelievably happy right now? I was going to have a baby, a little rascal of my own. I was going to be able to bring the child up, teach it to walk and talk. Eventually they’d learn to ride a bike, learn how to play a sport, grow up and go off to college one day. But as I imagined our future together, I knew that something was missing. Or rather, someone was missing.
I needed to talk to Peter.
25
Peter
I
didn’t ever do this –grand gestures. But Rachel was special. She was different, and for all the right reasons. I needed to make it clear to her that she meant more to me than anything else in my life. Alance Tech’s stocks could take a disastrous tumble tomorrow and I wouldn’t care. If Rachel was willing to give me another try, I wouldn’t care at all. I wasn’t used to caring this much, but for Rachel, I was willing to give her my all. I showed up at her door and gave it a knock. She’d ignored me again and again. David always said that she was out, but I needed to see her. Just a chance to explain myself in person would mean the world to me.
To my bitter disappointment, David once again answered the door. His cheeks were a bit puffy, but he didn’t seem as pissed as he normally did.
“What do you want?” he snapped.
“Where’s Rachel?”
David stood in the way and crossed his arms over his chest, straightening his back in order to size me up. “She’s not here.”
“I know that’s a lie. I know she’s hiding in her room. I just want to talk to her. Thirty seconds, it’s all I ask.”
David pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn’t have as much fight in him as he normally did. “I’m being serious, Peter. She’s not here.”
“Where did she go then? Where can I find her?”
He chewed on the inside of his cheek and let out a heavy breath. “She’s visiting her doctor.”
Alarm gripped at my heart. “What? Is everything okay? Is Rachel alright? Who’s her doctor? David, please tell me. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but you have to understand that I really do care for her. Please, tell me that she’s okay.”
David glared at the ground, unable to look me in the eye. I was really starting to grow frustrated with his childish behavior. I wanted to scream at him. I wanted to punch him square in the face. I knew it wouldn’t do me any good to threaten the guy, but I was really beginning to lose my patience.
“You need to do more than just care for her,” he said after a moment.
“What do you mean?”
“Do you love Rachel?”
The air caught in my lungs. I nodded slowly. “Yes. I love Rachel. I want to be there for her. Believe me, this isn’t just some fling. I need her in my life. Probably more than you know.”
David clicked his tongue and grumbled under his breath, “Look, I’ll be frank. I don’t like you. But if you really mean it, then I should tell you something important.”
“Spit it out already.”
“Rachel’s visiting an OB-GYN.”
My heart leapt up into my throat and stayed there while the butterflies in my stomach completed several cartwheels. “What?” I gasped.
“She’s pregnant, moron.”
“And it’s–”
“Jesus, you’re dense. It’s yours, idiot. Now, go be by her side and support her through everything or so help me I really will kick your ass.”
“Which office is she visiting?”
“Dr. O’Malley. He’s got a little clinic on Seventeenth and Parker.”
I wasn’t much of a runner, but boy did I sprint out of that apartment complex like my ass was on fire. I immediately hopped into the back of the waiting limo at the curb side, gave my driver the directions I just received, and held on to dear life. There was so much going on inside my head that I could barely form coherent thoughts. Rachel was pregnant? With my child? I wasn’t exactly a picture-perfect image of a father figure, but the happiness that bloomed out from my chest was so overwhelming that it was dizzying. We could have a future together. We could raise the child together. I knew without a doubt in my mind that I needed to win Rachel back.
I loved her without a single shred of doubt.
And no matter what, I was going to be there for her.
26
Rachel
I
was incredibly lucky to get an appointment with Dr. O’Malley on such short notice. I was lying on the inspection table, staring up at the foam tile ceiling, absentmindedly counting the speckle of dots above my head. There was a bunch of equipment surrounding me, beeping and whirring and do God knew what. I anxiously picked at the loose strands of my sleeves as I waited for the doctor to arrive. I really wanted to see Peter, but I wanted to make sure that the baby was alright before I gave him the news. Besides, he was probably too busy running both Alance Tech and keeping Anastasia occupied to make time for me. There really wasn’t any rush to see him.
Dr. O’Malley entered with a clipboard in his hands. He smiled gently at me as he sat down on a nearby stool. “Hello, Rachel,” he chuckled. “I just ran your blood test. Everything seems to be perfectly fine. We’ll go ahead with the ultrasound, if you’re comfortable.”
I nodded. “Yes, let’s.”
“Now, I do have to ask, do you want to call the father and ask him to come? I find that it’s always good to have both parents here.”
My cheeks flushed with heat as I started to pick at my fingernails. “I, uh… He doesn’t know. Not yet.”
“Oh,” the doctor hummed. It didn’t sound judgmental, luckily enough for me. I didn’t know if I could handle any undue condescension right now. Dr. O’Malley reached for a little bottle of lubrication and popped the lid off with a satisfying click. He helped me lift my shirt up above my belly as he said, “This is going to be a little cold, so just hang in there.”
He was about to squeeze the bottle when a sudden commotion could be heard outside in the waiting room.
“Where is she?” a familiar sounding man demanded. “I need to see her.”
“Excuse me, sir. You can’t go back there.”
“Where’s Rachel? Rachel!”
My eyes widened. That couldn’t be who I thought it was, could it? My heart skipped a beat when the shadow of a man hovered on the other side of the tinted glass window of the examination room.
“Rachel?” Peter called again.
Dr. O’Malley looked to me. “Someone you know?”
“Um, yeah,” I said, words barely audible. “He’s the father.”
“Should I let him in?”
My head felt so light I thought it was about to float right off my shoulders. I nodded and smiled, feeling more relieved than I had in weeks. “Yeah, let him in.”
Dr. O’Malley opened the door and Peter came bursting through. His hair was a mess and his shirt was all crinkled and out of place, almost like he’d run all the way hear. He gazed at me with longing and fondness in his eyes, smiling wide at me like we’d been separated for a lifetime and not a month. He made his way over to me quickly and grasped my hand, squeezing it tightly against his chest. The familiar and calming scent of his sandalwood cologne left me absolut
ely speechless as he leaned forward and kissed me fervently.
“Anastasia was sent by my mother,” he blurted out. “I swear, nothing happened between us. I’d just gotten out of the shower and Anastasia had a key to the place thanks to Mother and I’m so sorry–”
I pressed my fingers to his lips, shushing him. “I’m the one who should be sorry. I should have given you a chance to explain.”
“You’re not mad?”
“I mean, I am mad. But more at your mother than you. And Anastasia, though I feel like she’s too naïve for her own good.”
Peter sighed with relief and smiled at me. God, how had I gone so long without looking at his handsome face and lived to tell the tale? It felt so good to have him near me again, close enough that I could drink in his warmth and everything that he was.
“So, this is probably super obvious,” I giggled. “But I’m expecting.”
Peter chuckled, kissing my lips softly. He sprinkled kisses about my face, planting one on my forehead, both my cheeks, my chin, and the tip of my nose. “I know,” he laughed. “David already told me.”
“I swear I was going to tell you right after this.”
“I believe you, baby.”
Dr. O’Malley cleared his throat. “Would you like to see the ultrasound together?”
Peter beamed, lighting up the whole room. “Absolutely!” He turned to me quickly and uttered, “Uh, if that’s okay with you?”
I broke out into a sound that was halfway between a joyous laugh and a cheerful sob. “Yes. It’s totally okay with me.”
Peter moved to the side and held my hand, watching the little monitor beside us with more focus than I’d ever witnessed before. The doctor applied the lubrication and pressed the ultrasound wand to my stomach, moving it about until he was finally able to reveal a clear picture. Within a couple of seconds, my eyes fell upon the tiny little bean shaped human growing inside me, sleeping soundly in a world all on his own.
