by Rosie Clarke
Maureen hesitated and was lost. He was Robin’s father despite her denials and perhaps she’d been unfair to forbid him. At least he hadn’t been drinking this time.
‘You can look but you can’t touch…’ she said and he smiled in the way that had once had the power to make her heart turn over. ‘I mean it, Rory. If you try to snatch him, I’ll kill you… I’d stick a knife in you rather than let you take him.’
Rory nodded, but she saw a gleam in his eyes and wished she’d stuck to her guns as she allowed him to follow her into the house. Gran was in the kitchen and Robin was in his playpen, sitting on a blanket and making bubbles as he chewed at the ear of his ragged old teddy bear, which had been hers as a child and Gran had kept.
‘He’s been hanging around outside all mornin’,’ Gran said when she saw Rory and shook her head. She held up a heavy cast-iron ladle and thrust it at his face. ‘Any funny business and you’ll feel this, my lad.’
‘I just want to look at him…’ Rory kneeled down on the peg rug that covered half the kitchen floor and stared at the child in the playpen. There was such hunger in his face that Maureen’s heart caught. She’d suspected him of all sorts of things, but it seemed he only wanted to see his son – and perhaps he had the right after all. ‘Hello, Robin… I’m a friend of yer mum’s, see…’ He took a small bar of chocolate from his pocket and broke a piece off. ‘Can he have it?’
‘I suppose so…’ Maureen said and watched as her son took the offering and put it in his mouth, chewing and smiling because he liked the taste. ‘He does like milk chocolate.’
‘Here,’ Rory gave her the rest of the bar. ‘For when he wants it later…’
He put a tentative hand through the bars and Robin grabbed it, biting his fingers and making Rory yelp in surprise.
‘He bites everything at the moment,’ Maureen said. ‘His teeth are coming through and it hurts when he gives you a good nip.’
‘Yes…’ Rory rubbed his hand. He got to his feet, then bent and tussled the little boy’s hair, which was redder than his own. ‘He’s a fine boy, Molly – take care of him, won’t you?’
‘Of course we shall. He’s spoiled because we all love him…’
‘He is mine, isn’t he?’ Rory looked at her pleadingly.
‘Yours may have been the seed that gave him life, but he’s mine, Rory – and I’m married to someone else. He will be brought up as our son. You have to accept that…’
‘I do,’ Rory said surprising her. ‘Velma turned up again and now she’s claiming she’s still my wife. She now says her first husband was a bigamist and so, according to her, we’re still married. It’s all a pack of lies and when I get back after the war I’ll sort her out, even if I have to get a divorce to be rid of her. Whatever she says, I shall never live with her after the way she neglected my child and let it die… and I couldn’t take care of my son while there’s a war on. I wouldn’t let her near him! So it’s best that you keep him safe, but I’m reserving the right to see him sometimes. I know he won’t die of neglect in your house—’
Maureen understood his anger for she had seen the way Velma neglected their child, leading to its death.
‘No, we shall keep him healthy and safe if we can,’ Maureen said. ‘You can rely on that, Rory – but why let yourself be ruled by Velma? Surely you do have enough cause to divorce her?’
‘Yeah, I might if I come back,’ Rory said. ‘I’m being sent abroad again, Molly – not as a soldier, but as part of the maintenance and logistics team at base camp. I think it’s pretty dicey where we’re goin’ and I might not get back.’
‘I thought you would be safe here in England now…’ Maureen was doubtful. ‘Your eyesight isn’t as good as it should be – is it?’
‘I can see well enough to do my job and I volunteered,’ he said. ‘They didn’t want to take me, because they say I’ve done my bit, but I pestered them and now I’m goin’. To be honest, I don’t care if I come back… I’ve got nothin’ much ter live for – and if I stay here I’ll probably end up being hung for murder…because, I’ll do fer that bitch afore I’m done.’
‘Oh, Rory…’ Maureen felt a moment of sadness. He looked so alone and even desperate, and she had loved him once. ‘You shouldn’t feel like that – one day you’ll find someone you can be happy with…’
‘And what if I did? I’d probably let her down again. I know I didn’t deserve you, Molly – but you were the only one I loved. If I come home I may visit to see how my son is, but I promise I shan’t harm either of you. You didn’t need protection the other day. I would never hurt you… more than I already have. And I love him as much as I could love anyone.’ His voice broke on a muffled sob.
Maureen’s throat was tight, but she refused to let herself be swayed. Rory had always known how to charm, but she wasn’t going to give him an inch, because underneath the charm, he was selfish and thoughtless and he would hurt them again without trying if she let him.
‘I’m sorry you’re unhappy,’ she said, ‘but I can’t change things. I love Gordon and he’s my husband and the father of my unborn child. We have three children, or we shall have when this one is born. You should divorce Velma and find someone to give you children of your own…’
‘I only ever wanted you…’ he said and then turned and walked out of the kitchen. Maureen heard the street door close behind him.
‘Well, that’s a turn-up for the books,’ Gran said, looking at her oddly. ‘What made you let him in, Maureen?’
‘I don’t know – perhaps he has the right. I deny it, but Robin is his son.’
‘Now you’ve started it, he’ll come back again and again.’ Gran shook her head. ‘Don’t trust that one, Maureen. He laid it on thick about Velma, but I wouldn’t believe a word he says. He’s just trying to play on your sympathy. You take my word for it. He’s a bad penny and they always turn up…’
‘I know, Gran. I’m over him now, I really am, but I’m not sure I could’ve stopped him. He was determined to see Robin – and he could’ve forced his way in if I refused. I thought it better to get it over.’
‘Well, just be on your guard all the same,’ Gran said. ‘He couldn’t look after the boy yet, but if he ever gets a decent home, look out. He hasn’t done with you yet, I’ll swear.’
‘When the war is over, Gordon will be home again. He’ll keep us all safe…’
‘Oh, there’s a letter on the dresser,’ Gran said. ‘I didn’t say anythin’ while that Rory Mackness was ’ere, but I’m sure it’s from Gordon, although the writin’ is a bit odd…’
‘Lovely!’ Maureen swooped on the letter and tore it open. ‘Yes, it’s from Gordon…’ She caught her breath on a sob. ‘Oh no, he’s been wounded badly. He didn’t write this Gran – a friend has done it for him. He sends his love and says he should be home soon… in a hospital anyway…’ She stared at her grandmother, one hand going to her stomach as if to protect her child. ‘Oh, Gran. I’ve been longing for him to come home – but not badly wounded…’ Tears spilled over as she held the letter to her breast. ‘What am I goin’ to do if—’
‘You can stop that nonsense at once,’ her grandmother said. ‘Cryin’ won’t solve anythin’ and it’s bad for the baby. You need to be healthy and strong to bear a healthy baby…’
‘Yes, I know…’ Maureen swiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand. ‘I don’t want to lose Gordon, Gran. I didn’t realise how much I loved him until he had to go back last time and then it really hit me…’
‘Well, I dare say he’ll get over whatever it is – he didn’t say what injuries he has?’
‘No, just that he’s being sent home, but it must be serious. It has to be to get a Blighty pass…’
‘Yes, I know that, my girl – but keep your chin up. He’ll want you smilin’ and happily awaitin’ the birth of your child when he sees you, not weepin’ all over the show.’
Maureen bit back her tears. She’d been worrying over Rory the last few hours and now
Gordon was injured. If anything happened to him, she didn’t know if she could bear it. It had taken her a while to really love him, but she did and she didn’t want to lose him.
Chapter 9
‘Oh thank God,’ Mabel said when Ellie gave her the good news the next day. Beth was responding to treatment; her fever had gone and the spots were fading. ‘I should never have forgiven myself if anything had happened to her.’
‘It wouldn’t be your fault,’ Ellie told her. ‘Honestly, Mabel. She must have picked up somethin’ when she was crawlin’ around and put it in her mouth – no one can watch a lively child all the time. It might have been an infection off that old tin toy I found in the pawn shop. I’ve thrown it out just in case.’
Mabel mopped at her eyes with a lace hanky. ‘I’m so glad she’s gettin’ better – and it was fortunate that you got her to the hospital so quickly.’
‘That was Sid’s doing,’ Ellie said. ‘He was so kind, Mabel. Taking us to the doctor’s surgery and then the hospital – and he stayed with me when I was goin’ out of my mind with worry, and brought me back…’
‘Yes, that was kind of him,’ Mabel Tandy said, looking a bit anxious. ‘I know I don’t have to tell you to be careful, love, but…’
‘Yes, I know what you’re goin’ to say,’ Ellie replied, ‘but Sid isn’t like that awful man who raped me…’
‘I’m sure he isn’t,’ Mabel Tandy said. ‘From what you’ve told me, he’s a lovely man – the kind of man I wish you were married to, but you’re not, Ellie. You have a husband and if he heard you’d been seein’ someone… well, I’m already nervous of what he’ll do when he realises you’ve kept Beth.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Ellie said and then looked at her seriously. ‘Divorce is awful, but so is livin’ with someone you don’t love or even like…’
‘Oh, Ellie…’ Mabel looked at her sadly. ‘I’m not a prude and I wouldn’t stop you havin’ a divorce if it was up to me, because you rushed into marriage without truly knowing him – but Peter would never agree. I think he might kill you…’
‘Yes, I know,’ Ellie agreed and a shudder ran through her. ‘It’s wicked of me, I know – but last night I thought how much better our lives would be if Peter didn’t come back.’
‘Ellie, you mustn’t, my love,’ Mabel chided gently. ‘I know things weren’t right between you when he was home – but you have to give your marriage a chance. No man would have taken the news that you’d been raped easily. I can understand why he wouldn’t want that man’s child…’
‘He wanted me to lose my baby,’ Ellie said and her face was cold and proud. ‘I know it in my heart, Mabel. I can’t prove it and you don’t want to believe me – but he put somethin’ in my cocoa, I know he did…’
‘If he hurt you…’ Mabel looked fierce. ‘If he hurt you or Beth, I think I would kill him myself…’
Ellie looked at her and suddenly laughed. ‘Oh, Mabel, of course you wouldn’t and nor would I – but I’m not sure I can live with him. He wasn’t the man I married when he came back last time…’
‘War does bring out the worst in men,’ Mabel said thoughtfully. ‘But it seems to me he was bad through and through from the start, even though you didn’t see it.’
‘No, he was lovely to me at first,’ Ellie contended, ‘but his mother told me he had a temper. She warned me what he would do if he thought I was goin’ with other men. I thought she was just being mean to me, because she didn’t like me – but now I think she really was tryin’ to warn me.’
‘Then you must be very careful,’ Mabel said. ‘I know you like this Sid – and he sounds nice, but be very sure what you’re doing. If Peter came back and heard stories…’
‘I know. I didn’t intend to get involved with him, Mabel, but he helped me with Beth – and I like him. I can’t be rude to him after he was so kind to me, can I?’
Mabel shook her head and went through to open up her shop. She only opened up for a few hours a day now, because the stock couldn’t be readily replenished so she was eking it out, a few ounces of wool for her regular customers as they needed it. Ellie knew she must be using her savings to manage, but she wouldn’t admit it and she wouldn’t take a penny from Ellie, except for the food they shared. Ellie paid for as much of it as she could, but she knew that Mabel would soon be in difficulty if things didn’t pick up… but there wasn’t very much she could do, because she earned very little herself.
*
‘Well, Peggy, I’m home at last,’ Laurie Ashley said and put his suitcase down in the kitchen; glancing round, he thought nothing much had changed. ‘They’ve told me I shan’t be needed again – so I reckon that’s it for me as far as the war goes, apart from some night-watch duties with the ARP.’
‘That must be a relief for you,’ Peggy said and took a deep breath. ‘Welcome home, Laurie. I’m sure you’ll soon get used to bein’ here and servin’ behind the bar. I hope it won’t seem too dull and boring after what you’ve been doing…’
Laurie grimaced. ‘Obviously, I can’t tell you what I’ve been doin’. I signed the Secrets Act and if I broke my oath I could go to prison – or even be shot… but I’ll admit it was exciting at first. However, I did somethin’ wrong and they’ve sent me home.’
‘Are you in disgrace?’
‘Not exactly, but they think I might be a security risk in the future and so they don’t want me.’
‘Should I say I’m sorry?’
‘No, not unless you don’t want me back?’ He looked at her quizzically and for a moment she saw the old Laurie, the man she’d loved for years – and believed had loved her.
‘I think we’ve both done things that hurt the other,’ Peggy said, her eyes meeting his honestly. ‘I enjoy workin’ here amongst my friends and I don’t want to leave the lanes, so if you can accept things the way they are I see no reason why we shouldn’t make a go of it. We can surely be civil to each other and keep the business goin’ as best we can – at least until after the war.’
‘And what then, Peggy? Will you go off with your twins and find a new life?’
‘I really can’t answer that, Laurie. It all depends how we get on. I don’t want to live with you if we’re constantly sniping at each other – but this is your home as much as mine and I wouldn’t dream of makin’ it uncomfortable for you. It’s up to you to do the same and to treat the twins decently.’
‘If I’d wanted a divorce I’d have said so when you wrote and told me you were havin’ a baby. I want us to try to live with each other…’ Laurie broke off as Pip walked in with a young woman just behind him. ‘Hello, son – I didn’t realise you were home…’ His gaze went to the girl standing just behind Pip. She had light brown hair, which she wore in a knot at the back of her head and heavy-rimmed glasses. No one could call her a beauty, but she did have a nice smile and he thought she would look attractive if she let down her hair. ‘Are you goin’ to introduce me to this young lady?’
‘This is Sheila,’ Pip said. ‘I did tell you I had a girlfriend when I wrote last Christmas.’
‘Yes, but young men change their minds often, so I wasn’t sure.’ Laurie offered his hand to the serious-looking young woman. ‘It’s nice to meet you, Sheila. What do you do? All young women work these days, don’t they?’
‘I drive an ambulance and work part-time with a women’s voluntary unit at the hospital. I’m not a nurse, but I visit and write letters for wounded men who can’t manage it, take drinks round and generally make myself useful – and then I help out in my parents’ pub in the evenings…’
‘My word, you are a busy person,’ Laurie said. He wondered what had attracted his son to her because she looked and sounded years older than Pip. He hoped that it wasn’t serious on his son’s side as already he wasn’t sure that she was right for him.
‘Dad, I should like a word later,’ Pip said and smiled. ‘Mum said you were comin’ home. Sheila and I are off for a look round. I’m taking her up West for a meal and to see the s
hops. She’s never been to London before.’
‘Mum and me usually go into Hastings or sometimes Eastbourne,’ Sheila said. ‘Pip says the shops are much better in London. I’ve yet to be convinced…’
She gave Pip a teasing look, her grey eyes suddenly filled with mischief and Laurie saw the attraction, but it didn’t make him warm to her. She was too old, too sophisticated for his boy – but he would have to be careful. He didn’t want a fiasco like they’d had with Janet when she wanted to marry Mike. Peggy had gone against him and he’d been very angry with her – and he’d been right. Mike’s injuries and subsequent death had ruined Janet’s life. If he’d had his way, she would still be single and probably already forgetting the man she’d thought she wanted to marry, and that could have saved her a lot of grief. His granddaughter was a stranger to him and at this time he felt little interest in her, though that might change once he got to know her – but it wouldn’t change his opinion that Janet should never have married.
‘Shall you be home for supper this evenin’?’ Peggy asked Pip. ‘I’m makin’ a big casserole so it will keep warm in the oven and not spoil…’
‘I’m not sure, Mum,’ Pip said. ‘We might go to a show or the flicks while we’re up the West End…’
‘It doesn’t matter, it will taste even better tomorrow,’ Peggy said and turned as Rose entered. ‘Ah, Rose, can you watch the oven and take out my pasties and scones when they’re ready? It’s time for me to open up…’
‘I’ll do that, Peggy,’ Laurie said. ‘I can unpack later. Have a nice time, you two…’ He looked at Rose, who was staring at him uncertainly, but didn’t ask, because he could guess all he needed to know. Peggy had found it too much to do all the cooking and the bar work as well as looking after the twins. Now he was home she would have more time – and perhaps they didn’t need to employ this young woman at all, but he would make up his mind about that once he’d had time to observe her. His first impression was that she was a sexy young madam with a twinkle in her eye. He found her attractive and thought he might try his luck with this Rose if he got the chance.
