by Rosie Clarke
‘We’ll never truly be at peace until the war ends,’ Maureen said. ‘I’ve got my husband home and he won’t be fightin’ again, but there are thousands of women who don’t even know whether their men are even alive…’
‘Let’s hope this year will see the end of it. I did hear a rumour that there’s talk of a new offensive from the Allies this summer, but there’s all kinds of tales these days.’ Gran sighed. ‘Oh bother, I’m not goin’ ter think about war. Let’s have a good time with the kids at Peggy’s little do and forget it all.’
*
‘Well, that’s wonderful news,’ Maureen said the next day when Peggy told her that Laurie was sitting up in bed looking pale and sorry for himself, but over the worst. ‘When will he be able to come home?’
‘Not for a couple of weeks at least,’ Peggy said. She frowned and glanced over her shoulder. ‘I haven’t said anything to Pip or Janet yet, but the doctors said they need to investigate his chest further. They’ve dealt with the damage inflicted by that knife, but it seems that Laurie may have a problem with his lungs. It seems they’ve discovered a shadow and he was coughing quite a bit before this happened…’
‘Oh no!’ Maureen stared at her in dismay. ‘He hadn’t said anything about it?’
‘No, but he has been away for a long time,’ Peggy said. ‘He hasn’t complained, though I did hear him coughing a lot at nights— What do you think it means?’
‘I’m not sure,’ Maureen replied thoughtfully. ‘It could mean various things or it may be just a poor X-ray. I shouldn’t worry too much until the doctors have done all their tests…’
‘Do you think it could be lung disease?’
‘It might – but, as I said, sometimes preliminary tests suggest all sorts of things. I’m not a doctor, Peggy. I still have another exam to take before I can call myself a proper nurse.’
‘You knew enough to spot something was wrong with Freddie,’ Peggy said. ‘If the doctor hadn’t sent him to hospital he might have died, because for a while they thought the hole in his heart might not close…’
‘But it did and he’s fine,’ Maureen said. ‘So stop worrying about Laurie until you hear what the doctors say when all the tests are done.’
‘He was coughing in the bathroom the other day, but I hadn’t taken much notice…’ Peggy said. ‘It couldn’t be TB, could it?’
Maureen frowned. ‘I don’t think there’s as much of that about as there used to be, but of course it is a possibility…’
‘His uncle died of consumption, which some folk now call TB, years ago, just after the first war,’ Peggy said. ‘Laurie never seemed to show any sign of it though…’
‘Well, just wait and see what the doctor says,’ Maureen advised. ‘We none of us know when something like that will happen, Peggy. There’s no way you could have known… and nothin’ you can do.’
‘No, I know, but it’s stupid,’ Peggy said. ‘I feel so protective of him all of a sudden – after what he did…’
‘I’m alive because of it,’ Maureen said. ‘I shall visit him now he’s over the worst and thank him, Peggy. He was so brave – and so was Tom.’
‘Yes, thank goodness for Tom’s quick thinking.’ Peggy laughed and shook her head. ‘I’m daft. I should be thanking God Laurie’s alive, not worrying about things I don’t understand.’
‘Yes, we both worry too much,’ Maureen said. ‘When I first saw Gordon’s leg, I thought he might never get over it, but they can do a lot of wonderful things these days with the new treatments.’
‘Yes, I know,’ Peggy agreed. ‘Are you or your Gran comin’ this evenin’?’
‘We’re both comin’. We’re going to bring Shirley and Robin. They can go to bed later for once and that way we might get a few hours’ sleep before they’re awake and runnin’ about…’
‘Yes,’ Peggy said. ‘I want to show Tom how much we all appreciate him, make a fuss of him. Maggie will be there, of course, because it’s partly her birthday party, but I don’t think I shall let the twins stay up long once they’ve had something to eat. Fay can move fast these days and she would be in the coal bucket in no time…’
Maureen laughed. ‘Why do young children love nibbling at coal? Robin grabs at it if he gets a chance, though I don’t remember Shirley ever taking any notice – but of course she was older when I had her…’
‘Ellie came to see me before she left,’ Peggy said. ‘She told me that Mabel had left her some money, but she said you were takin’ over the shop – is that right?’
‘Yes. Mabel left me the lease and half the stock, so I don’t have to borrow for it,’ Maureen said. ‘I didn’t say before because you had enough on your mind, Peggy. I was goin’ to ask Janet if she would like a few hours in the shop – do you think it might appeal to her?’
‘I’m not sure she knows what she wants to do,’ Peggy said. ‘She was determined she was goin’ to find a place of her own, but she has decided to wait for a while…’
‘Did she go out with Ryan the other evening as she’d planned?’
‘Yes. At first she wanted to cancel it, because of what happened to Laurie – but then she agreed when Anne offered to help in the bar. I don’t know what happened because she hasn’t mentioned it… but she seems very thoughtful…’
‘Well, I’d best get back to Gran and Robin, and Shirley is done with school for the weekend. We’re goin’ to visit Gordon this afternoon. Anne is comin’ too so that she can have them for a while after they’ve seen their father…’
‘I’ll see you this evenin’,’ Peggy said, ‘and I’ll tell Jan you’re goin’ to take over the shop and you’d like her to do a few hours a week, if she wants…’
Maureen nodded and left. She was thoughtful as she walked home. It would be a bitter pill for Peggy and her family if the doctors discovered that Laurie had a serious illness. He’d escaped being knifed to death by a fraction, and if he was ill for a long time that would be a hard thing for Peggy to accept, but perhaps it was all a mistake. Maureen knew that sometimes X-rays were not quite what they seemed and they could be misread, which was why the doctors had chosen to do further tests.
Chapter 27
Janet looked at the beautiful diamond and sapphire ring Ryan had given her when he took her to dinner earlier that week. He’d proposed, as she’d known he would and she’d told him she would marry him but couldn’t think of leaving her mother while her father was so ill. At least this time she was over twenty-one and did not need to ask her father’s permission.
‘Wait and ask me again in a few months,’ she’d said, but Ryan had insisted that she take the ring.
‘I can wait to get married, my darling,’ he’d said and leant across to kiss her softly on the lips. ‘I thought you might turn me down – but you’ve made me so happy. There’s nothing to stop us being engaged, is there?’
Of course there wasn’t and she’d acknowledged it.
‘I couldn’t leave Mum in the lurch at the moment,’ Janet had said and touched his hand. ‘I do care for you, Ryan – and I think I might be in love with you. I believe I always have been a little bit, but I had Mike… and I still love him. I always shall.’
‘I’m not asking you to forget he ever existed,’ Ryan said. ‘Neither of us could ever forget our pasts – but we both deserve a future, don’t we?’
‘Yes, we do,’ she said, ‘and Maggie needs a father. She’s very strong-willed and I need help controlling her sometimes. I do want to be your wife, but I can’t marry you until Dad is sorted.’
Her father had still been unconscious when she’d told Ryan he must wait, but Janet hadn’t changed her mind about rushing into marriage now that he appeared to be over the worst. She didn’t want to lose Ryan, but if she admitted the truth to herself, she wasn’t ready to marry him for a while. Her father’s condition was an excuse she could use to hold him off, but she knew he would expect her to be wearing his ring when he came for the party that evening.
Janet stared at the wed
ding ring Mike had put on her finger. She was reluctant to take it off and yet perhaps it was time. For as long as she wore it, she was chained to the past and to regret. Taking a deep breath, she slid it over her finger and placed it on the bed beside her. It lay there reproaching her as she slipped on Ryan’s expensive ring. The light made it sparkle and glow and she knew it was far better than her mother’s engagement ring, more expensive than any other woman in the lanes wore.
She tore it off and replaced her wedding ring and then pushed the engagement ring on next to it. If Ryan asked why she was still wearing Mike’s wedding ring she would tell him it wouldn’t come off.
*
The party was a much quieter affair than the one Peggy used to hold at Christmas. She’d invited only her closest friends, most of whom lived in Mulberry Lane itself. Several children were there – Shirley and Robin, Maggie, the twins – also Tom, Rose, Anne, Alice, Maureen and her gran, and one or two others from the lanes, as well as Pip and Sheila, Janet and Ryan.
Ryan had taken charge of the older children and organised a board game for them, which kept them out of mischief, though not by any means quiet. Janet smiled as she watched him award sweets as prizes and thought what an excellent father he would be. She was glad that she’d agreed to become engaged to him, and though he noticed that she was still wearing her wedding ring with his diamonds, he hadn’t said a word about it. Janet didn’t think anyone had noticed, until Maureen caught her hand and looked at her.
‘What a gorgeous ring,’ she said. ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you wear this before?’
‘No. Ryan gave it to me…’ Janet said and blushed. ‘We’re sort of engaged, but we’re not gettin’ married for a while…’
‘Congratulations, Jan. Ryan seems really nice,’ Maureen said and nodded.
Janet laughed. ‘I’ve been hopin’ no one would notice, but that’s daft… Yes, he’s lovely, and I’m very lucky to have found love again – but I still feel it’s too soon.’
‘Mike loved you and you certainly loved him,’ Maureen said. ‘From what I knew of him, he wouldn’t grudge you future happiness, Jan. You should take it while you can. The way things are at the moment, none of us knows what is goin’ to happen or how long we have to be happy. Hitler could start another bombing offensive at any moment. I’m just so glad I married Gordon when I did, because if he’d been wounded before we married, he might have been too proud to ask me to share his life.’
Janet nodded, thoughtful, because what Maureen said was right, but she moved off with her tray of used glasses. It was good that Maureen approved, but she was still reluctant to take the plunge. A few more months wouldn’t hurt anyone.
*
‘I’m so happy for Jan,’ Maureen said as she went to say goodnight to Peggy later that evening. ‘I know she wants to wait a bit for the weddin’, but I’m glad that she has started to move on.’
‘Yes, I suppose so – if she has…’ Peggy sighed. ‘She should be bubbling over for joy – but she’s still wearin’ Mike’s weddin’ ring. When she takes that off, I’ll know she’s really ready to move on.’
Maureen kissed her cheek. ‘Don’t worry too much, Peggy love.’
‘Are you goin’ this early?’
‘We have to put the children to bed,’ Maureen said. ‘Otherwise they’ll be too tired in the morning. I’ll see you tomorrow before I go into the hospital…’
‘Yes,’ Peggy kissed her cheek. ‘I’ll be visitin’ Laurie as much as I can while Sheila is here to help look after the twins. Pip has to leave first thing in the morning, but she’s stayin’ on for a while.’
‘She’s a lovely girl,’ Maureen said. ‘I’m glad you get on with her, Peggy, because I can see that Pip is mad about her and she loves him.’
‘Yes, he is and I’m happy for them both. I don’t understand why Laurie didn’t see it. I can only hope he will once he comes out of hospital…’ Peggy looked at her. ‘You’re not too tired, are you? You ought to rest as much as you can, because you’ve only got a couple of months to go and you look a bit weary – are you happy about the baby, Maureen? I mean, I know it’s difficult with Gordon ill…’
‘I feel excited when I think about what is happening,’ Maureen said and placed her hands on her swelling belly. ‘I hope so much that it’s another boy, for my husband’s sake. He’s wonderful with Robin, but every man wants his own son. If Gordon can come home by the summer, I’ll have all I want…’
‘That’s good.’ Peggy smiled at her and gave her a brief hug. ‘Take care of yourself and your family, Maureen. Love is so very precious and it’s only when we lose it that we realise how much it means…’
‘I’m sure things will work out for you and Laurie,’ Maureen said. ‘I know you loved Able and you fell out with Laurie – but you have another chance…’
‘Yes, perhaps,’ Peggy agreed. ‘I don’t want Laurie to die, Maureen. That much remains of what we once had, but I’m not sure what else there is left… Of course I couldn’t let him down while he’s ill…’
Maureen nodded, understanding that she couldn’t solve Peggy’s problems with platitudes or friendship. Peggy had to face whatever the future held, as they all did.
Taking Robin in her arms and calling to Shirley to join her, she and Gran went out into the dark night; there were no stars and the blackout was still in force, making it hard to find your way even with a shaded torch. Maureen felt content as she led her family safely through the streets and ushered them into their warm kitchen.
‘Well, I thought Peggy looked a bit down,’ Gran said as she set about making a jug of hot cocoa for them all. ‘Worrying about her husband, I expect…’
‘Yes, I expect so,’ Maureen said. ‘Gordon loved seeing the kids this afternoon – and I’ll pop in again tomorrow on my own. Sheila is there for Peggy at the moment, so she’ll be able to visit Laurie every day. She’s a nice girl and just right for Pip I think…’
‘Janet has found herself a good one too,’ Gran observed and poured the cocoa into mugs, distributing them to Shirley and Robin and putting Maureen’s on the table. ‘I saw that ring she was wearing – it must be worth a fortune…’
‘Yes, but money doesn’t buy happiness,’ Maureen said.
‘You tell that to some of the women in the lanes,’ Gran said robustly. ‘There’s a good few as could do with a few pounds to keep the wolves away…’
‘We all need enough money for food and to pay the rent,’ Maureen said. ‘But I wish I thought Jan was really happy – I hope she hasn’t said yes just because she thinks Maggie needs a father or she’s afraid it might be her only chance…’
‘I dare say she knows what she’s doin’,’ Gran said and smiled at the two sleepy children. ‘It’s up to bed with you pair or I’ll take my slipper to you.’
Shirley giggled, but Robin looked at her wide-eyed, only half understanding what she was saying. He made no protests as his mother picked him up, carrying him upstairs to his cot. She kissed him goodnight as Shirley hovered, watching.
‘Now you too, love,’ Maureen said as she turned the light off in Robin’s room, leaving only a faint night light burning. ‘You’ll be too tired in the morning for your homework and you’ve got a test next week…’
‘It was lovely seein’ Dad,’ Shirley said happily as she skipped ahead of Maureen into her bedroom. ‘Will he be home soon, Mummy?’
‘Not quite yet, darling,’ Maureen said as she unbuttoned the pretty dress Shirley had been wearing for the party. ‘But he is getting’ much better and I think we shall have him home in two or three months. I know that seems ages away, but we must be happy he’s comin’ home.’
Shirley nodded solemnly. ‘My friend Carol’s daddy isn’t coming home. She said her mum told her there was no God and it’s her birthday next week, but she’s not havin’ any presents at all, because her mum can’t afford to buy her anythin’.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ Maureen said and put her arms about her as tears pricked her eyes. �
�Do you know where Carol and her mummy live?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Shirley said. ‘Can I take her something – one of the lovely dresses you make for me? She doesn’t have a best dress…’
‘We’ll take a cake and visit them,’ Maureen said. ‘If her mummy is pleased with the cake, I’ll make Carol a new dress – and perhaps I can help her mum somehow. I promise I will if I can – but people are proud, Shirley, and they don’t like it if they think they’re being patronised or offered charity, so we have to be careful…’
Maureen was proud of her daughter. Shirley would be eleven on her birthday, but sometimes she seemed older and wiser than other girls of her age.
Shirley nodded. ‘I share my sweets with Carol sometimes, but her mum gets cross and tells her not to take them because she can’t give anything back.’
‘That is very sad,’ Maureen said and hugged her. ‘Let’s see what we can do for your friend, Shirley. We are very lucky in this family, and we must see what we can do to help Carol and her mum.’
‘You’re the best mummy in the world,’ Shirley said and hugged her. She ran to get in bed, pulling the covers up near her throat. ‘I love you, Mummy.’
‘And I love you, darling.’ She tucked Shirley into bed and kissed her. ‘Don’t worry, my love. I’ll think of something to help them…’
‘I know, because you’re so clever…’
Maureen laughed and went out. Her little girl was growing up and she was glad to see that she cared for others. Maureen had heard that Vera Brooks, Carol’s mother, had lost her husband to the war and she’d been meaning to go round. Before she was married, Vera had worked on the counters at Woolworths, which meant she was used to shop work. If Mrs Brooks was interested, she could offer her a job and perhaps a new home over the wool shop.
She would have to be careful how she put her suggestion to the grieving widow, because Vera was proud and would hate to be offered charity, but a job was something that would enable her to hold her head up – and Maureen was genuinely in need of at least one full-time assistant.
