by Rosie Clarke
‘I’ll speak to her then,’ Maureen said. ‘I’m not sure if they will let her leave essential war work altogether, but they might let her do part-time…’
‘She told me they are slowin’ down production where she works,’ Peggy said. ‘She was one of the last in, so they may be glad to let her go – and she can always do some volunteer work at night…’
‘Yes, I’ve had to give up for the moment, but the WVS are always glad of new helpers…’
‘You do far too much.’ Peggy said. ‘I’m in agreement with your gran there – but I’m glad you’re keepin’ the wool shop open. If we let all the shops go we’d be a ghost ship.’
‘It’s a pity someone doesn’t open the old bakery,’ Maureen remarked. ‘Not as a bakery, but as a shop of some kind – I’d like to see it thriving again.’
‘Well, you never know,’ Peggy said, ‘perhaps someone will find a use for it one day.’ She’d thought of it herself, even gone as far as looking through the back windows, but now her thoughts were confused and uncertain. If Laurie had consumption she couldn’t desert the pub while he needed her – and if Able was really alive, perhaps he would come back one day, and perhaps next time he would come to see her.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Maureen about the card she’d received on the night of the party and yet something held her silent. Why hadn’t he come to see her – and why hadn’t he written to her before this? She decided to keep her news to herself for the moment.
Peggy could accept that he might have been wounded and ill for a long time, but surely he could have got a message to her? She wasn’t sure what that card meant – was it just a sentimental card without substance behind it – and what did Able mean by saying he was glad she was happy? Who had told him that? No one had mentioned seeing him and Reg hadn’t brought her any letters from America.
Perhaps she would ask him next time he called.
*
‘Reg, I’m expecting a letter from America,’ Peggy said when her cheerful postman brought a pile of letters the next morning. ‘I don’t suppose there’s one today, is there?’
‘Not today, Peggy,’ Reg said and grinned at her. ‘Good news was it the other time? Laurie said he’d pass it on – how is he by the way?’
Peggy went cold all over. She had to dig her nails into the palms of her hands to stop herself demanding to know when he’d given her letter to Laurie. Yet she couldn’t betray herself or him, because she knew Reg couldn’t resist passing on gossip if she revealed that her husband had kept her letter.
‘I think he’s recovering well,’ she said. ‘He bled a lot, but the knife didn’t go in as deep as it might have…’
‘Well, give him my best wishes,’ Reg said. ‘I’ll look out for that letter for you, Peggy. Bring you some veg from the allotment once I can get on it – been too wet these past few days, but there’s new greens comin’ up…’ He grinned at her. ‘Summer is just round the corner. This bloody war has to end soon, love.’
Peggy thanked him and he went on his way whistling. For a moment she was too angry to move, because she knew that Laurie had kept an important letter from her. Had he read it – or had he simply destroyed it?
Feeling the fury build inside her, Peggy went upstairs and into the bedroom her husband was using. She started by searching the chest beside the bed, but there were only underclothes, his jumpers and shirts and a driving licence in the drawers. Next, she went through every jacket and every pair of trousers in the wardrobe, but there was no sign of anything resembling a letter – just a used train ticket and a receipt for some sandwiches at the railway station.
She was about to leave empty-handed when she saw the suitcase on top of the wardrobe and went over to pull it down. She opened it and discovered it had several papers that her husband had clearly been working on. At first she thought they were the solutions to a crossword and then realised that they must be codes – secret codes. Was that what Laurie had been doing in Scotland? Surely, he ought not to leave them in a suitcase where anyone could find them? Peggy thought they ought to be burned but put them to one side as she made a thorough search of the suitcase. She found the envelope in a side pocket and drew it out with trembling fingers. It was of the same thin paper used for mail sent from abroad and it was clearly addressed to her.
She drew the sheet of paper out and read the message inside.
Dear Mrs Ashley,
Able has asked me to write to you, because just at this moment he isn’t well enough to do it for himself. He is most anxious that you should know he is still alive and to explain that he was ill for a very long time and in a Swiss hospital where few people spoke a language he understood. He couldn’t leave his bed and was too ill to think properly. It is only now that he has been transferred to America that he is in a position to think about contacting you.
Able hopes to be out of hospital in a few months and if he is well enough, he will come to London to see you. In the meantime he sends his love and hopes that you are well. He asked me to write this because he believes that you would wish to know he is alive.
Able’s true friend, Captain Roy Barclay.
‘Oh, Able…’ Peggy’s eyes stung with tears, because the letter had not been written by her lover but by a friend, which meant at the time it was written he’d been very ill. ‘My love…’
She looked at the date at the top of the letter – it had been written in the summer of 1943 but it couldn’t have been delivered for months afterwards, because Laurie hadn’t come back to London until January 1944. Like so many other letters from overseas, it had been mislaid somewhere and delivered months late. It happened all the time with mail from serving soldiers, but it was just bad luck that it had been delayed all that time and then fallen into Laurie’s hands.
How could he keep it from her? Peggy was angry that he’d opened her letter, read it and then hidden it from her. If it hadn’t been for the card, she would never have asked Reg, never have known what Laurie had done.
The letter itself was impersonal, but it meant too much to Peggy to know that Able was alive after all this time. She’d never given up hoping for it, she’d believed it was a forlorn hope but now…
What must Able think when she hadn’t replied? He must believe she didn’t care – that she was back with her husband and happy. It was what he’d put in the card he’d pushed through her door. It could only be that someone had told him she was back with Laurie… he might even believe that the twins belonged to her husband. Why wouldn’t he? Everyone else did… and she hadn’t written to him about them before he went missing, preferring to tell him in person.
No wonder he hadn’t come in, Peggy thought. He’d just let her know he was back in London and that he loved her. Able thought she was happy, but she wasn’t. She loved him and she wanted to be with him… Laurie had forfeited all call on her loyalty after what he’d done. Peggy would have forgiven a lot of things but not this – it was so cruel not to let her know that Able was alive. If he’d just told her, she would have seen him through his time of trouble but now she was so angry she could explode.
Peggy put her husband’s papers back in the case and returned it to the top of the wardrobe. She took the letter with her as she left the room. She must let Able know that the twins were his and that she loved him.
The address given in the letter from Able’s friend was a hospital in Virginia. Peggy vaguely recalled that Able had once told her he had property there. It was too late to write to the hospital after all this time, because she believed Able must be here in London – and yet it was her only way of contacting him.
No, there was a box under her bed! Peggy had forgotten it because she’d left it untouched, not wanting to pry into Able’s private life. Now, she decided that she would open it and look for something, anything that would help her make contact with him. Able should know that the twins were his… even though she felt conflicted. If Laurie was seriously ill she would feel duty-bound to stand by him for a while at
least. Peggy was still very angry with him and was tempted to leave, but until she could contact Able she needed to stay here so that he could find her – but she was certain of one thing: even if she felt obliged to keep the pub running for the moment for everyone’s sake, she would never let Laurie back into her heart or her life.
As she walked towards her bedroom, eager to find the box and discover what she could, a cry from the twins’ room told her that Fay was awake and screaming for her. She halted and went to see to her daughter.
Looking down at her red face, Peggy couldn’t help the tears that slipped down her cheeks as she picked Fay up. ‘Your daddy is alive,’ she whispered so softly that not even the child could hear. ‘He’s alive… he’s alive…’
The words were dancing in her head and her tears were happy ones, because no matter how difficult her life might be in the future, Able was alive and suddenly nothing else mattered.
Chapter 30
‘Yes, I’d love to work for you, and I don’t mind whether it’s in the wool shop or the grocer’s,’ Rose told Maureen that morning as she caught her on her way to work. ‘They’ve told me I’ll be on short hours next month, so I’ll tell them I want to leave. If I have to do war work, I’ll join the WVS in the evenings. I don’t mind what I do, but I’d love to work for you.’
‘I’d be satisfied with afternoons for now,’ Maureen said, ‘but I may have extra hours for you soon – Tom has his papers at last. He has to report on the fifteenth of May and he’s over the moon.’
‘Yes, I’ll bet he is,’ Rose said. ‘I like Tom a lot, Maureen. I think the folk of the lanes will miss him when he goes.’
‘I certainly shall,’ Maureen said. ‘I don’t know how I would have managed without him at the shop. I’m hoping Gordon may want to do a few hours when he’s able, but that won’t be for months. In the meantime, I’ll take on part-time assistants to help out. Janet is willing to do a few hours – so with her and Vera at the wool shop and you at the grocery counter, I shan’t have to do too much myself.’
‘You won’t be able to soon,’ Rose said and laughed as Maureen sighed and put a hand to her back. ‘You must be almost there…’
‘Not too long now,’ Maureen said, ‘but babies come when they’re ready and it could be any time.’
‘I should think you’re exhausted, what with visitin’ the hospital, lookin’ after your grocery business and settin’ up a new one in your condition…’
Maureen laughed. ‘I like to be busy, but I must admit I’ve had more than I want just recently. However, it’s all falling into place now. Vera likes Mabel’s furniture, so she’s going to sell a lot of hers and keep what’s in the flat. She says hers won’t bring much, but she’ll be glad of a few extra pounds…’
‘Things are hard these days for women like her,’ Rose said and sighed. ‘She’s lucky you came along, Maureen.’
Maureen shook her head in denial. ‘No, I’m lucky to have got her. Vera worked in Woolworths before she married and she’s very good at a lot of retail stuff. I’m very pleased she will be taking over Mabel’s shop. Shirley is happy because her friend has a new dress her mum made her for her birthday and they’ll be close enough to each other to pop round on a Saturday morning.’
‘Well, that’s nice,’ Rose said and smiled. ‘I had a letter from Jimmy this morning. He is coming home next month. We’re going to get married with a special licence and have a couple of days at the sea, because he’ll be posted overseas then…’ She hesitated, then, ‘I was wondering if Tom would let us take over his house, at least until he and his father need it again.’
‘Ask him. It would be up to his landlord, of course – but you could hear what Tom says.’
‘Yes, I shall, because we’d like to have our own home once we’re married.’
‘I’m pleased for you, Rose,’ Maureen said. ‘That’s the first bit of good news we’ve had round here for a while…’
‘Yes.’ Rose frowned. ‘I know what you mean. I just heard last night – about Laurie Ashley. The hospital diagnosed consumption and he has to go away to the sea somewhere for a cure because he can’t risk giving it to his family… that’s rotten for Peggy again, isn’t it?’
‘Yes, it is,’ Maureen said, ‘but Anne has decided to move in with her until Kirk gets home. She doesn’t like living alone and Peggy invited her to stay, so she’ll be able to help out nearer to the birth – and she’s letting her flat out for a few months at a time.’
‘Oh, I hadn’t heard that,’ Rose said and felt pleased. ‘I’m glad Peggy will have help – and it will be better for Anne to be with friends rather than on her own in that flat. I think she would like to sell it and buy something else – and of course she is out of a job now.’
Women teachers were not supposed to marry. As it was wartime, Anne’s employers had turned a blind eye when she got married, and now the law was being relaxed, and women were about to be paid as much as their male colleagues, but Anne had decided to leave at the end of the month because of the baby. Perhaps after the war was over and Kirk came home, she could take it up again, but it meant that Anne might even be available to do a few hours at Maureen’s shop once her child was born, and she’d be around a lot more. It would be lovely to see her most days. No matter what life threw at them, the women of the lanes stuck together and helped each other. It was the only way to get through these dark times.
‘Well, I’d better run or I’ll be late,’ Rose said and grinned. ‘Not that it matters, because if they sack me I won’t have to work out my notice.’
Maureen smiled and waved as the pretty girl made a dash along the lane. She turned in the direction of The Pig & Whistle. There was just time for a chat with Peggy before she went home and started to help Gran prepare lunch.
*
‘I’m glad Anne is moving in with you for a while, Peggy,’ Maureen said. ‘I didn’t like to think of her alone in that flat when the baby comes…’
‘She’ll be company for me – and it will be better for her,’ Peggy agreed. ‘I’m having her room thoroughly cleaned and aired, even changed the curtains and boiled all the linen, because she’s going to have the one Laurie was using. I’ve packed what he doesn’t need and put it in the attic…’
‘Oh, Peggy, I’m so sorry,’ Maureen said and her eyes were moist as she looked at her friend. ‘We’ve had more than enough to grieve us without all this on top…’
‘Yes, I know,’ Peggy said. ‘I think it’s worse because of what Laurie did – if he hadn’t acted so promptly and so bravely, I might not be talkin’ to you now, Maureen. I shall always be grateful to him for that despite all the rest…’
‘I know. I’ll always be grateful to him for that as well,’ Maureen said. ‘I wish I could wave a wand and make things better for us both.’
‘It’s different for you,’ Peggy said. ‘You’re in love with Gordon and you can’t wait for him to get better so he can come home. I want Laurie to recover, of course I do – but I’ve made up my mind. I shan’t live with him ever again. I’ll keep the pub goin’ for him until he’s well again, but I don’t love him. I can’t after what he’s done…’
‘What do you mean?’ Maureen asked. She could see the dark shadows of a sleepless night beneath her friend’s eyes and knew she was holding back her tears. ‘What has Laurie done to hurt you like this, Peggy?’
Peggy hesitated and then took a thin piece of paper from her pocket. She handed it to Maureen. ‘Laurie kept that from me – read it…’
Maureen read it, giving a little exclamation and looking at Peggy in disbelief. ‘You think this means Able is alive?’
‘He was when that letter was written,’ Peggy said. ‘I’ve written three letters, Maureen, explaining that I’ve only just got this – two to America and one to an address in this country I found in the box his friends gave me, but I don’t know if any of them will reach him… or even where he is, though I think he may have been here in London quite recently, but he probably believes th
e twins are Laurie’s and that I’m happy.’
‘Oh, Peggy, it’s wonderful that Able is alive – but how could Laurie do that to you? How could he be so selfish as to keep news like this from you?’
‘Laurie only cares about himself,’ Peggy said bitterly and then shook her head. ‘No, that isn’t fair – but he hasn’t behaved well over this. He knew how much it would mean to me to learn that Able was alive. When I’ll ever be able to join him is another matter… but he’s alive and he still thinks of me.’
‘It says he loves you in this letter,’ Maureen said and returned the piece of paper to her. ‘What will you do if Able comes to you and asks you to leave Laurie?’
‘I don’t know…’ A sob escaped her. ‘I want to be with him – but I couldn’t walk out on Laurie when he’s ill. Pip would never forgive me and I don’t think Janet would approve either. The pub would fold and Laurie would be left with nothing. I have to stay here for a while – but I’m not sure Able is free to ask me a question like that or whether he still wishes it. This letter was sent months ago, though… I had a card from him on the evening we held the birthday party. That’s what made me suspicious and when Reg told me there had been a letter from America I started searching. It wasn’t hard to find…’
‘Able was here in the lanes?’ Maureen was astounded.
‘I don’t know for sure. Someone else might have delivered it for him. If it was him, why didn’t he come in and ask for me?’
‘Perhaps…’ Maureen shook her head, then, ‘Most people thought the twins were Laurie’s… Able might believe you’ve made it up with your husband and forgotten him.’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of,’ Peggy admitted. ‘I still love him, Maureen. Is it too much to ask for a little happiness when this is all over? I know I can’t desert Laurie yet, but he will get better… won’t he?’
‘As your friend, I’ll say yes, of course he will,’ Maureen said. ‘As a nurse, I can’t be certain. It depends how long he’s had the disease and how bad it is – and he might be able to come home, but he might never be truly fit.’ She hesitated, then, ‘I’m not sure Laurie will ever be allowed to run a pub again, Peggy. Have the doctors asked you and your family to have some tests done?’
